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Be aware of your parents' nagging.
In the eyes of parents, a child will always be a child, no matter how old you are.
They are afraid that their children will be naïve, that their children will not become talents, that their children will not understand how to behave in the world, that their children will not take care of themselves, and that they will not be able to take care of themselves. Always think about their children in everything, worry about their children, and worry about their children, because they always treat their children as children who have not grown up, so they always love to nag and worry that their children will make mistakes and affect their children's lifelong happiness.
Parents' nagging is innate, which is caused by the nature of parents, and it is difficult to change, but the degree and frequency of nagging are different. Even if the child grows up and is strong enough, he still chatters, which is really pitiful for the hearts of parents all over the world!
Understanding your parents' nagging is a sign of maturity that you have grown up.
Can you consider their behavior from the perspective of their parents?
I wish the landlord a happy and happy life!
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This is the most basic embodiment of love! Not sure how old you are! Parents are all for the good of their children, and they want to see their children good!
Their nagging seems to me now to be a kind of admonition and entrustment! If one day you feel that your parents are the proudest of you in the world or you are already a parent and are chasing your parents' "nagging" of their children, you will feel that they love you so much!
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There are many reasons why parents love to nag, one of the most common reasons is that they are not confident or believe in their children; The second is to be in a hurry; The third is that they do not know how to listen and are not good at communicating with children.
I am always not at ease with my children, and I don't know how to teach them effectively, so I unconsciously repeat them again and again, mistakenly thinking that if I don't listen once, I will say it twice, and if I don't listen twice, I will say it three times, as long as I say it a few more times, they will always listen to it.
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In fact, they are expressing their love for you.
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What is nagging is a thing that everyone knows, for fear that others will not know, and they are still talking there over and over again, artificially creating a tense atmosphere
For children, parents are their most trusted people, and all the arrangements made by parents for their children are heartfelt and inspiring. There is no parent in the world who does not want their children to get ahead and become dragons and phoenixes.
In order to urge their children to achieve such goals, parents will inevitably have a variety of practices, such as signing up their children for multiple interest classes, and constantly asking their children to implement them quickly according to different time nodes of the class every day.
For another example, when cultivating children's self-care skills, because children are young, they may not be able to learn quickly for a while, and parents should start to emphasize it to their children repeatedly out of worry.
According to the conventional situation, it is enough to say one thing once or twice, and what should be remembered has already been remembered, and there is no need to say more, because too many words may be a kind of noise for others.
Parents are always worried that their children will not remember the requirements put forward by their parents, so parents must do everything they can to help their children to improve their coping skills, so they will not be caught off guard when encountering emergencies.
But for children, the content that parents repeatedly emphasize may be the same, nothing new, and it will not resonate. At the same time, the repeated emphasis of parents will also prove that what the child has done has not achieved the desired effect, and indirectly proves that there is still a certain gap between the child and others, and this understanding will make the child feel uncomfortable and unwilling to accept it.
In this way, when parents and children cannot maintain the same frequency in communication, it is inevitable that there will be disagreements, which will also make each other unhappy, and ultimately affect everyone's good mood.
This is actually very undesirable, children should realize that although the words of parents may not be good, but in the final analysis, it is for your future, parents do not want their children to take the detours they have taken, parents hope that their life experience can help their children reach higher heights, so that children can grow into a real useful talent for society and family.
It is hoped that children can truly understand the painstaking efforts of their parents and no longer have any resistance.
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One is that they are not confident or believe in their children. I am always worried about my children, and I don't know how to teach them effectively, I unconsciously repeat them again and again, mistakenly thinking that if I don't listen once, I will say it twice, and if I don't listen twice, I will say it three times, as long as I say it a few more times, they will always listen to it.
The second is to be in a hurry; I always expect that my child will do whatever he says, and the results will be achieved immediately. Ignoring that the child is a person with a sense of subjectivity, and the words of others must be digested by him to work, and furthermore, human progress and change need a process, and parents do not give the child time, and the middle of the urging destroys the process of the child's change.
Third, they don't know how to listen. Children gradually develop their own views on things and the ability to think independently, while parents and concepts and habits are often very different from children. Parents do not know how to listen to their children's opinions patiently, and blindly indoctrinate and strengthen their own views and requirements, resulting in a vicious circle of saying that it is ineffective, and it is ineffective.
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There are many reasons why parents always like to nag. Here are some possible reasons:
Parents care about their children. Parents are important guardians of their children, they care about their children's growth and development, and hope that their children can grow up healthy and happy. Therefore, they may use nagging to remind their children of health, safety, etc.
Parents have experience. The age and experience of parents make them more likely to anticipate the problems that their children may encounter and come up with some solutions. As a result, they may share their experience and wisdom through nagging.
Parental expectations. Parents want their children to be what they want them to be, so they may use nagging to remind them of behavior, attitude, etc.
Parental habits. Nagging may be a habit or behavior of parents in a way that they may unconsciously use to show their concern and love.
In short, parents tend to nagging because they care about their children, have experience, have expectations, or are used to this way of behaving. While this may be annoying or impatient, children need to understand and respect their parents' care and love, and balance the needs of both parties through communication and understanding.
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One is the physiological level:
1. First of all, there is a saying that educating people makes people happy. The reason is that the educational process can cause people to secrete dopamine, provided that dopamine is recognized as a happy substance, but this claim has obviously been refuted by many parties and is not very scientific. At least the dopamine argument doesn't stand up to scrutiny.
2. Educating people is an instinctive response of physiological continuity. In fact, there is some truth in this statement, the continuity of living things is actually the animal instinct of human beings. From ancient times to the present, especially in ancient times, in order to ensure the continuation of the population, educating future generations has become an almost instinctive consciousness, and this responsibility often naturally falls on the older generation with some experience in production and hunting.
The second is the psychological level (this should be the most important).
1. The older generation thinks that it is their responsibility to educate the younger generations. Therefore, they will think that it is a dereliction of duty not to pass on the knowledge and experience they know to their juniors, so they will appear to be "good teachers".
2. Education also enables the older generation to gain a possible sense of achievement. By educating the younger generation, the older generation gains a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment after the younger generation avoids suffering losses or achieves certain achievements again and again. The common phenomenon of child comparison is to some extent the embodiment of this psychology, in other words, it can also be called vanity.
3. Educating the younger generations is a kind of self-salvation and self-improvement. The older generation has accumulated certain lessons and lessons, and hopes that young people will not make mistakes in the same thing and suffer losses, and also hope that the younger generations will accelerate their success and avoid detours.
4. Educate the younger generations to reflect their own identity. Some people in the older generation are influenced by certain ideologies and concepts, and will use education to brush up their sense of existence and gain control at the same time.
5. Educating younger generations can also be a manifestation of what adults think of as love. Education is a social activity that consciously cultivates people, among which family education and school education are basically the education of the older generation to the younger generation, whether it is parents to children or teachers to students, it is essentially a manifestation of love.
So don't always think that the nagging of the old man is an unbearable thing, sometimes empathize with it, although it does bring some kind of pressure, but at the same time, it is also necessary to realize that most of the content and circumstances in it are one of the key elements of human survival.
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Parents always love to nag because they care and love us. They want us to grow up healthy and happy, avoiding mistakes and hurts. Nagging is a way for them to show this care and love, and they hope that through constant reminders and education, we will develop good habits and moral character so that we can become successful and worthy people in the future.
Although our parents' nagging can sometimes make us feel irritated and impatient, we should learn to understand and respect their wishes. We can try to listen to their advice, think carefully about their words, and learn and grow from them. At the same time, we can also express our thoughts and opinions appropriately, communicate and communicate with our parents, and let them know what we think and feel.
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Elders like to preach to others, and they feel that what they say is right. Elders rely on their age and seniority, so they can casually preach and criticize others, because even if he says it, others dare not refute it, because he is an elder and he is old. So he slowly developed such a bad habit, and he himself felt that it was very good, but in the eyes of others, he had no choice but to endure it, and he couldn't disrespect his elders, just listen to it himself, and he wouldn't take it seriously.
Very to the elders think that they have experienced a lot of things, so some of the ways they say about some things are also correct, and they have to let those young people do things according to their own words, but young people have their own methods and plans, so they often contradict each other because of the disagreement of views, and in the end it is often the end of the young man who contradicts the elder who gives him experience, and often complains that the young man is disobedient, so the young man is very rare.
Some of the lessons given by the elders are not so useful now.
Many elders just like to give all kinds of advice to young people, saying that they should get married at twenty, and if they don't get married, no one should want them, the sooner they get married, the better, others don't listen to what they say, they will get angry and lose their temper, and finally they quarrel, many of the elders' experience is outdated, and they are not suitable for the current society at all, so we must listen to the opinions of the elders appropriately.
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When parents always love to nag in front of their children, this is not the fault of parents, because from childhood to adulthood, parents are educating their children bit by bit, these decades of education, they are used to seeing their children do something that is not in line with their wishes, they always love to nag, pointing out that ours is not, this is quite normal. When you become a parent one day, then you can also feel why your parents love to nag you so much. If you think about it from another angle, it's actually quite normal.
It's just that the position is different.
We sometimes get tired of our parents' nagging, because our parents' thoughts are not on the same level as our own thoughts, they are people from the past, and we are thinking about things before and after, and we are young, we have fighting spirit, and we will do it recklessly. Once there is a disagreement, there will be different degrees of disagreement. It is normal for younger generations to be educated by their elders.
We are young, and those things that experience society are often more trendy, and our parents are different, they are not as comprehensive as young people, so many things are not that we are doing wrong, but that their age is not acceptable, very simple example, you have 20 years old, how old would you like to accompany your children to watch cartoons all day long? Then you certainly won't. Different age stages, the things encountered will be different, and the concept of looking at things will be different.
So sometimes you do something, your parents can't accept it, and you love to nag, then the easiest way is to listen honestly, don't refute their no, even if you refute, they won't change their original intentions, or feel that it's your fault, when you want to do something, as long as it doesn't violate morality, you think you are worth doing, then do it, don't pay attention to your parents' nagging, because people find the truth in the failure or success of things, don't do it and never know why, Only by doing it can you unravel the mystery in your heart and truly recognize who is right and who is wrong.
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Dear, as children, we should understand and respect our parents as much as possible. Their nagging is because they care and love us, hoping that we can grow up healthy and avoid making mistakes. You can communicate with your parents and listen to their opinions, but also express your thoughts and opinions.
In the process of communication, we can try to stay calm and rational and avoid emotional reactions to achieve better communication results.
Love is love, that is, the deeper you love this, the deeper the pain in your heart, let him pass, don't think about the past, think about the current experience, if you don't think about experiencing love, it won't hurt so much.
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