Why do you have to give birth to a son desperately, why do some parents have to give birth to a son

Although it has entered the 21st century, many people's thoughts are still at the level of agricultural thoughts, such as "more children and more blessings" and "inheritance of incense". Compared with women, in the agrarian era, male roles were the dominant labor force in terms of physical strength and tolerance, so the above idea had its rationality and inevitability at that time. In addition, due to the level of science and technology at that time, it was difficult for people to obtain information from the outside world, and the intensity and frequency of migration were not as high as now, so it was easier to produce large families.

The family is intimately bound to each of its members; In that era of class solidification, it was wise and necessary to rely on the joint efforts of all the clansmen from generation to generation, or even several generations, which also became the soil for the germination of the ideas of "more children, more blessings" and "passing on incense". Because women become relatives after marriage, they are not fully counted as their mother's family, so on the other hand, it has also caused a general contempt for women's roles.

In the 21st century, it is no longer the previous era of farming, and the ideological foundations of "more children and more blessings" and "passing on incense" no longer exist, such as: first, agricultural production is no longer the preferred job, and the proportion of the population will be less and less; Second, the trend of family miniaturization, fragmentation and declining birthrate is obvious; Men and women have equal citizenship rights. Why, then, does backward thinking continue to exist?

Human beings are moving forward in inheritance and development. While accepting the essence of tradition, it is bound to come into contact with the dregs of tradition. When people passively accept traditional ideas without discernment, they are likely to accept dross without knowing it.

Socrates said, "An unexamined life is not worth living." People do trivial things that are repeated and unchanging every day, and few people can jump out and think clearly about the meaning of doing these things, which is the inertia of human thinking, not habitual, but physiological.

A custom, to continue the incense and inherit the family business, everyone does not want to give their son-in-law the hard work of their life, even if it is a niece, the reason is very simple, they do not follow your surname.

Because of the preference for sons, they think that sooner or later girls will also belong to someone else's family. Boys are the main labor force in the family.

In fact, not only in China, this is a worldwide phenomenon: in all societies in the world, the status of women is inferior to that of men.

Despite the emergence of feminism and the gradual popularization of the so-called affirmative action, we have to admit that in the final analysis, this is still an unequal society. In some families, especially in rural areas, even once had only a son, this preference for sons has become the norm.

One. Differences in the advantages of men and women

Biologically, women's bodies are weaker and more constrained by the obligation to carry on their ancestors, while men's bodies are freer and stronger. Because of this characteristic, a woman's childbirth and breastfeeding have almost determined that the mother will be the one who will take care of the baby, so the social role is regarded as trivial tasks such as childcare and housework. Women's social activities are limited and less socially connected, while men have more rights and responsibilities to go out and about.

And the party that has the right to speak is often the main one in the economy, and from this point of view, men enjoy more advantages than women. This is also why so many families want sons, after all, no one wants their children to occupy a passive and weak party in married life in the future.

Two. The feudal concept of succession

From a traditional point of view, a girl is a daughter-in-law who spills out the water and marries someone else's family, and only a son is the key to raising children and preventing old age. Only by having children can the family's incense continue, which can ensure productivity and family expansion, so that it also has an advantage in competing with other families. In ancient times, the emperor was willing to have three palaces and six courts, the purpose of which was to spread the branches and spread the prestige of our country.

Only the son can pass on social relations and material relations in the family mode, and even only the son can solve this problem legally.

Three. The influence of historical factors

In ancient times, the living environment was harsh. Population scarcity, disease and lack of food seriously affect human reproduction. Hence the preference for sons over daughters and polygamy, in order to facilitate the transmission of genes.

And now the society is stable, and the resources are more abundant, so it gradually evolved into monogamy. However, the historical tradition that has lasted for many years cannot be changed overnight, especially in some backward areas, and having a son has become a traditional family custom.

In the final analysis, this society is still a patriarchal society, just look at the surname of the child born. Originally, men and women could work and have their own different talents to exploit resources, but men in patriarchal societies wanted to control women and become their appendages, denying women more power. In this globalized environment, patriarchy has become a structural problem, and we still have a long way to go to truly break this imbalance.

It's not very important, in the current era, there is no patriarchal preference, it's useless if you give birth to a son and don't provide for your old age, sometimes girls will be more intimate than boys.

People's traditional thinking is that it is important to have a son, but now it is the same for both sons and daughters.

It's not so important to have a son in the current era. The old ideology, the inheritance of seeds and generations makes people want to have sons, resulting in the fact that there are now more men and fewer women, and the phenomenon of imbalance is very serious. Therefore, the ratio of men and women must be coordinated and discovered, and the ideological education of both boys and girls is the same, and daughters are also passed on to future generations, and the ideological education should be further strengthened, rather than taking a formality.

It may be very important for the family to have property to inherit, otherwise it is better to have a daughter.

This is true for people who have outdated ideas.

It doesn't matter, there is no royal succession in the family.

Filial piety is more important, and girls think they take care of their families more.

In the traditional Chinese concept, many people still want to have a son, and feel that having a son can be passed on to the next generation, especially the point of view of our older generation, like our grandparents at that time paid special attention to having a son, and felt that no son could not raise his head, if he could not give birth to a child, he would go to cut off his own family without inheritance, to our parents' generation, has begun to slowly implement the one-child policy, we have received a lot of education and publicity, Slowly realize that cultivating an excellent child is more important, so their consciousness has slowly let go, and in our generation, in fact, few people pay attention to the issue of having a boy or a girl.

But all things are not absolute, in some more backward places or require a son, like we have seen a lot of this situation on the Internet, some people have given birth to five or six, six or seven, that is, because they did not give birth to a son, so they will give birth to one child at a time, although the family is very poor, many children can not go to school, but they insist on having a son, and feel that if they can't give birth to a son, they will be laughed at by others and can't hold their heads up.

So the most important thing is the child's parents' own thoughts, just like I only have one daughter, but I don't want to have a second child, because I think I can give all my love to my daughter, and I can provide her with better living conditions and educational conditions, so that he can have more opportunities to try in the future, to strive for the life he wants, I personally feel that this is better than several but can not give him good living conditions, can only be born and can not be raised well to be more responsible.

So I personally think that it doesn't matter if you have a son or a daughter, as long as the child can grow up healthy, happy and safe, you can choose the life you want in the future, and live happily for a lifetime, whether it is a son or a daughter, although we give them life, but what kind of life they want in the future, they should have their own choice.

Maybe his family really has a throne to inherit. Having a son is very important to his family, and the concept of this family is very important, and the serious patriarchal thinking is terrible!

I used to want a son when I was pregnant, but now that my daughter is older, I feel that my son and daughter are the same, and it is not so important, and what my son can do for my parents can do the same as my daughter, I feel that my son and daughter are the same.

I don't think it's that important to have a son, because now children are equal. Whether it is a son or a daughter, it can be your own intimate little padded jacket.

Personally, I don't think it's particularly important, now men and women are equal, boys and girls are the same, and many times girls are more well-behaved and obedient than boys.

In the concept of preference for sons, it is indeed very important to have a son, because the son can pass on the bloodline to himself.

I think there are very few patriarchal phenomena now, so it's not that important to have a son.

In the past, the son represented the continuation of the incense. But with the progress of people's thinking, whether it is a boy or a girl, as long as the child is obedient and sensible, it is the treasure in the hearts of parents.

Of course, it is very important, because having a son can really pass on the lineage, while giving birth to a daughter can't do it.

I don't think so, but we don't think it's anything for young people, but in my hometown, we pay special attention to having boys and girls.

I don't think it's important to have a son or not now, the main thing is to nurture your own child into a talent.

The mentality of this part of the population is: the son is the sky, and no son means that he has not given birth to a child in this life, and he feels ashamed of his ancestors, and his pension will be insecure.

The topic of having children has been hotly discussed, but with the change of people's traditional concepts, more young people still do not have such a strong demand for boys or girls. However, a ** that has been circulating on the Internet recently once again rushed related topics to the hot search.

Ms. Li, who uploaded **, said: "My hometown is in Puning,When I returned home for the Chinese New Year, I found that my neighbor had given birth to seven daughters and one son, the eldest daughter was 12 years old and the youngest son was 3 years old。I am a post-90s generation, and I feel that there are too many children born by my neighbors.

In this regard, some netizens commented: "Whether sons and daughters are filial piety or not is filial piety on the one hand, and on the other hand, the ability to be filial. Some netizens quipped: "Those who are willing to have more children can be regarded as contributing to the Social News Chi Dou Association."

We don't know whether Ms. Li's neighbors are able to feed these children, so we don't comment. But I still want to share my own opinion on this mentality, and I think Ms. Li's neighbor will do this basically based on the following three factors:

First, the concept of raising children and preventing old age

It is undeniable that China's pension institutions and pension policies are not perfect at present. For those with pensions, they can go to nursing homes, but for ordinary farmers, they can only rely on their children for their old age. As the saying goes, "the daughter who marries out spills the water", although this sentence is a bit excessive, but in reality, it is not unreasonable, and you have to rely more on your own son to support the elderly.

Second, traditional thinking is deeply rooted

In some backward rural areas, giving birth to sons has always been regarded as the task of passing on the family lineage. Having a son can strengthen the family and increase the population, but sooner or later, having a daughter is someone else's person, and you have to raise a daughter-in-law for others. And they think that if there is no man in the family, it will be looked down upon and even bullied.

3. The actual situation in some rural areas

At present, in some rural areas, a large amount of farmland is still being cultivated. Boys are born with much greater strength than girls, fighting the fields and fighting the valleys, operating machinery, these are all strength work, and it is obvious that boys have more advantages than girls. Moreover, in the countryside, the family discusses things and makes ideas, and the lack of men at home seems to mean that the family lacks the backbone and will be despised.

Maybe one day everyone will be able to be more friendly to the matter of having a boy and a girl, but it is still difficult to do it at the moment, especially in backward areas. After allThe different responsibilities and obligations assigned will inevitably lead to an asymmetry in the end, and I have always believed that there is no such thing as perfect equality.

If you don't need children to help you take care of yourself, what is the point of having children? When I saw this question, I wondered, could it be that the child has become a tool and not a living person? Is the purpose of his existence to provide for his parents?

For this question, I think that raising children is not just about preventing old age. Having children by yourself, first, you can accompany yourself when you are lonely, and you can feel the joy of being a mother. When some people get married, they don't want to have a child in the future, but want to have a crystallization of love with their husbands, we often say that a family of three is complete, the child is a fusion of the genes of Mom and Dad, is the baby of Mom and Dad's love, and the family with children is always lively and warm.

At the same time, mothers can also enjoy the fun of teasing their children, can experience the hard work of their mothers, and can experience the joy of being parents. In addition, if your husband is not at home, the child will become your only companion, which can be your intimate little padded jacket, or Jian Jiwei can be a solid backing for you, which can protect you and warm you.

Secondly, cruelly speaking, some people just want to leave a child for the family, the so-called inheritance also exists in modern society, and having children is also to meet the needs of their own family, but also for the continuation of life.

Finally, I would like to say that the process of having a baby is painful, but why do so many mothers insist on giving birth to him? Is it just to raise children to prevent old age, so why not go to an orphanage and adopt one? Because the child is the crystallization of marriage, participating in the child's life, listening to his babbling words, watching him walk crookedly, listening to his first father and mother, you can't help but feel that the pain of giving birth to a child is nothing, and the happiness brought by the child cannot be exchanged for anything.