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My parents are the same, I have a method: you say to your mother, "Mom, you said too, they are relatives of Dad.
There is nothing wrong with Dad helping them, which also shows that Dad has a strong family concept and that he is a family person. People can't be perfect, and Dad never did anything to be sorry for us. 'A man is not a sage, but practice is infallible.
You can't be 100% perfect, don't be too demanding of your dad. Now our family is very happy.
Also, you told me to leave your business alone, which is impossible, because you are my parents, how can I leave you alone. Think about it from another perspective, if I quarrel with you or my father or any of our relatives, you can't just ignore it, it's impossible. So, can we keep the status quo?
If you quarrel, I'll be in a bad mood, and now our family of three wants a triangle, which is very strong, let's not destroy it.
You can also euphemistically say that if you don't know how to speak, you can write a letter to your mother. I don't know if you are a post-90s generation, if so, you have to write a letter, I am also a post-90s, and I understand the ideas of the post-90s generation more or less. Adults have experienced more than us, and they know more than us.
Sometimes they can be as headstrong as we are, but you need to help them sort things out. There will be friction in every family, and at this time, someone needs to be a conciliator, maybe the adults will say that we are children and are not sensible, but we have to prove to them that sometimes, we children are more sensible than adults.
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She talks to you, not to help you solve it, just to vent it, you should help her vent out, you have helped her a lot, you can't manage other things, it is better to manage yourself, this is also to reduce their worries about you, naturally also increase the harmony of the family.
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The parents' affairs are also for them to weigh on their own, it is normal for your father to be good to his relatives, is it only for the good of his own family, isn't it that the six relatives do not recognize it? What else is the family affection, so if your father is a loving person and is good to his brothers and sisters, it will also be good to your mother, so your mother should also be proud, why hate? Wouldn't it be too selfish?
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Personal advice can be left to parents to work out on their own.
Reasons why you want to help your parents solve their relationship problems:
Probably related to narcissism:
Usually at this stage, my narcissism may not develop very well, and sometimes when others have negative emotions or behaviors, we think that we are responsible for it, and it is related to us. Parents who are good enough will repeatedly tell their children: This is Mom and Dad's business, it has nothing to do with you, it is because we have not handled our emotions and relationships well, and we all love to be with you.
But many parents can't do this, and then "narcissism" will come out and tell us: they are all like this because of me, and I have to be responsible for them.
May be afraid that you are not safe:
Feelings may be painted with the color of culture and morality:
It may also be that we are still young and have not yet completely distinguished the boundaries between feelings and cultures and morals. Marriage and monogamy are laws and rules developed by social civilization and cultural morality, and have nothing to do with emotions.
Options for processing:
When you encounter such a thing, you will definitely feel uncomfortable, because we all want our parents to love us for a lifetime, but sometimes it is not as we wish. At this time, our mood may be more complicated, on the one hand, we want to solve, on the other hand, we have such and such concerns, we must be very tangled and anxious.
Therefore, it is more important than solving their problems to take care of your own emotions and feelings.
Express your inner feelings:
If you really want to do something, try to express your feelings and wishes to your parents, not how they are, but only how you are and how you want to be, so that your parents know how you feel and want, and maybe they can reconsider their decision.
Understand and accompany parents if you wish:
Either way, trust that your parents' love for you is unchanging. Believe that they can solve their own problems in an adult way.
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Emotional problems between parents are a common problem in families, and it may take some time and effort to address them, but here are some suggestions that may be helpful:
Listening: First, you need to listen carefully to your parents. Understand their positions and emotions as much as possible, and don't jump to conclusions or biases rashly. This can help you better understand their problems and needs.
Communicate: Communicate with your parents to let them know that you care about their issues and want to help them. Try to talk about issues in an open and honest way, but don't let the conversation turn into an argument or an attack.
Clear up misunderstandings: While resolving issues, there may be some misconceptions or incorrect information that may need to be clarified. Look for facts and evidence as much as possible to help solve the problem.
Respect: Although you may disagree with your parents' views or behavior, be respectful of them and try to understand their position. Instead of trying to change their thoughts or behaviors, try to work with them to find a solution to the problem.
Seek professional help: If you think you can't solve the problem, or if the problem has become serious enough to need professional help, consider seeking help from a marriage or family counselor. These professionals can provide guidance and support to help you and your family improve relationships and solve problems.
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1.For now, I don't know.
2.Do something to move parents.
3. Do a good job of yourself and reassure your parents.
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As a person who is used to communicating with my parents, I am willing to let my parents consult my feelings. This is because, first, parents with rich experience are more likely to find problems, second, parents are more pragmatic in considering problems, which is very meaningful to their love, and third, parents are most concerned about their children and will definitely give the most intimate advice.
The first reason is that parents have more experience and are more likely to discover the problems in their love. Love is warm and romantic, but if you only fall in love with such an attitude, it is easy to have problems. After all, the ultimate goal of love is to get married, so finding the person who is really suitable for you and can be with you for a lifetime is the foundation of love.
Parental advice is clearly more valuable. They have rich experience and are more likely to find problems in children's love, so it is necessary to find a parental counselor when they are in love.
The second reason is that parents are more pragmatic in their considerations, and their opinions and suggestions are more meaningful for their own love. For young people, the attitude towards love is extremely emotional, as long as two people are in love, they can fall in love. But from the parents' point of view, they are more pragmatic and will look at the relationship from a more realistic perspective, so the parents' opinions and suggestions are often more realistic.
Therefore, when you are in love, it is very important to consult your parents for the happiness of your love and even marriage.
The third reason is that parents are most concerned about their children and will definitely give the most intimate advice. Parents care and love their children the most, so they will definitely spare no effort to help their children.
It is conceivable that the opinions and suggestions given by parents must be the most intimate and beneficial to children when they fall in love. Therefore, when you fall in love yourself, ask your parents for advice.
Rely on feelings, if I were your girlfriend, I would have an opinion on you anyway, since your girlfriend has an opinion on you and is very sad, why bother to be together and torture each other, if you want to step on two boats, then you will definitely seriously injure a girl, since you feel that it is not suitable, let's separate, find your own real route, the person you really like, follow the feeling, it will show you the way!
When he was a student, he still focused on his studies, and since he was able to come back to you and said these things, he must have cared about you. There are many ways to express love, and feelings can make people mature. Maybe it's because time isn't enough, but I'll know more later.
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