The old people in the family always indulge the children, how close are the next generation?

In fact, it is a very common thing in this day and ageYou must know that for the elderly, it is difficult for them to be as strict as their own children when they treat the children of their grandchildrenMaybe it has something to do with age, when you get older, you want to spoil your children more, so when educating your grandchildren, most of them will choose to obey their children. <>

Although I can understand that the elders have feelings for their grandchildren, I can't always spoil them when educating themAfter all, the children are still relatively young, and their understanding of many things is not very comprehensive, and they need someone to give them the right guidance at this time, only in this way will they not take a detour. <>

The growth of a child is like the growth of a small tree, from a very small sapling slowly grows into a towering tree, when the sapling is still small, it needs someone to constantly take care of and care, constantly water, weed, repair branches, only in this way can the tree grow tall and big. The same is true for raising children, in the process of children's growth, it is necessary for people to constantly guide, and when it is found that children have a tendency to grow crooked, they must be stopped in time, If you connive at the wanton growth of children because you are reluctant, one day you will grow crooked, and by that time it will be too late for the elders to regret it. <>

Therefore, it is okay for the elderly to love their children, but should they grasp that measure?At the same time, don't forget to educate and teach the child, once you find that the child has done something wrong, you must be ruthless to educate the child, and you must let him correct this wrong problem, otherwise he will think that he is doing the right thing, and he can only intensify it in the futureTherefore, for the sake of the child's future, you must be strict when you see that the child has a problem. Anyway, you have to be serious when you should be serious, but you also need to be loved when you should love.

Our family situation is very ordinary, I went to college in other places, I usually don't drink much, I always drink plain water. My parents didn't buy me much food. But as soon as I returned to my grandparents, my favorite steamed buns, dumplings, must be prepared in advance, followed by various soups, drinks, and fruit snacks.

It is that the child will give whatever he wants, he will eat all the chubby, and give whatever he wants, and even sometimes the teacher will pull the old man at home to say that the child is not good, and he will immediately refute that the child is working hard or something, and this parent is the same as his own child.

The next generation is spoiled, no matter what the child does wrong, it will be maintained, and it will also let the child develop a willful character

People always bring their sons, cats always eat sons, there are many fathers whose children have not kissed much, but the grandson is different, that is a thief, the old man protects his grandson, there are at least 90 of a hundred people to protect his grandson, people are staring at the old, retired and busy, have spare time, deal with their grandson every day, raise a cat and dog every day, not to mention people, not to mention that blood is thicker than water.

There can only be one person in a family who sings blackface, and this person is usually either a father or a mother. Others should be pampered. Otherwise, home doesn't feel like home.

I think the cute little monster 17 classmate said it very well.

In families with elderly people, there will always be intergenerational relatives, mainly because the elderly are old, and they do not pay as much attention to the education of their children as they did when they were young.

And the old man's expectations for his children are also very plain, and he hopes that his grandchildren are healthy and healthy, so the old people will not be so serious about the education of their children.

02.The dependence of the elderly on their children.

From the spiritual level, children can alleviate the loneliness and helplessness in the lives of the elderly, so there will be the phenomenon of intergenerational parenting.

In a sense, children can awaken the childlike innocence of the elderly, so the elderly will have intergenerational relatives with children, and on another level, that is, children can satisfy the attachment relationship of the elderly.

03.Two extremes.

The child is the youngest person in the family and the oldest in the family. The two types of family members are the same in a sense, so they are more likely to have emotional sustenance. And the two principles complement each other, although the two are inverted and complementary, but the elderly are more inclined to attach to their children.

Because their children have to enter the society when they grow up, they are very busy with work, so the elderly put their emotional sustenance on the youngest member of the family, so the elderly are very easy to have the phenomenon of intergenerational parenting with their children.

Most intergenerational relatives are quite normal, right? Many of them are the elders in the parents' family or their parents are more intimate with the child and prefer to be a child, so they care about her very much and take care of her. You haven't seen many exaggerated intergenerational parents.

When the old man gets older, he hopes that his grandson can get a better education and better love to grow up, so many old people will be very good to their grandson, because this compensation is reflected on the grandson. And most of the old people prefer children, because children are more innocent, which is a refreshing comfort for the old people who are used to seeing the world.

The elderly will feel very lonely after retiring, often alone at home, and they can't take good care of them, so there is a mutual need between the elderly and children, and both parties can give each other a good company, so that life is no longer so lonely and boring, so that the relationship between the two parties will be more intimate.

The children are all related to the older generation, which cannot be separated or denied.

When the next generation was born, the old man couldn't help but want to do all the things he didn't understand when he was young, and all the things that he didn't regret and had a way to do to the next generation. So it's more normal to say that the next generation is a parent!

After having children in the family, most grandparents will love their children more than the children's parents, which is the legendary "intergenerational parent". "Intergenerational parenting" is a common phenomenon in life, and it is also a normal psychological phenomenon, why is this? Let's take a look.

First of all, why is this a normal psychological phenomenon? Because when they are young, even if they have children, in order to earn money and live, they are tired of work, and they must not have the energy and time to take care of their children, so they will have a certain sense of guilt for their children. When the children grow up and start a family, the "burden" on their bodies is lighter, they are getting older with more time, and the children already have their own small families, and they no longer need the care and care of their parents.

Therefore, they will transfer all the debts owed to their children to compensate their grandchildren, and they will try their best to meet the needs of their little grandchildren, and they will feel happy when their grandchildren are happy. For example, a recent touching short film about an old man who stayed in the mountains, when the Spring Festival was approaching, looking forward to reuniting with his son's family, holding an old mobile phone to his grandson **, asking his grandson what kind of New Year's gift he wanted, and the grandson said casually: Page, let the old man embark on a journey to find "Page".

Because the place where the left-behind old man lived was backward, he didn't know what his grandson's mouth was Peppa, so he asked "what is Peppa", and later someone told him that Peppa was a pig, red, he looked at the domestic pigs, there were white and black flowers, but they were not red, and he wanted to paint the pig red with red paint, of course, it didn't work. Eventually, he created a "Peppa" and brought it to his grandson as a gift. I feel the deepest touching is the bitterness of grandpa looking for "Peppa" for his grandson, I have read such a sentence, I don't know anything about what you like, but because you like it, I will give it to you all over the world.

This is a typical interpretation of "intergenerational parenting".

I believe that everyone will also find at home that the intergenerational relationship is indeed very obvious. Personally, I have also experienced intergenerational parenting, that is, my grandmother loves herself very much. No matter what kind of excessive demands she makes, grandma will often agree, and many people feel very incomprehensible to such a question.

Especially uncles, they will feel that blindly spoiling will only make them feel pampered and proud. From my personal point of view, I do feel very happy. Because my grandmother spoils herself very much, then I will feel very happy, as if I have done something and been recognized, and I will have a great sense of achievement.

Grandma loves herself very much.

Children who are loved will always be very confident, and the confidence in their hearts is also very sufficient, this sentence is really very true. And when it happens to you, you will feel that if someone really loves you, then no matter what you do, you will feel that there is a force behind you. If a person is always insecure, or no one makes them feel cared for, then it is very likely that they will feel very inferior when doing things, and at this time, it will also affect some of their actions.

I feel very happy.

So this kind of love, although it is said to be doting, can indeed push us forward. And the intergenerational relatives are indeed much more loving than the parents, because the intergenerational relatives usually respond to their needs. For parents, they will definitely want their children to grow up to be physically and mentally healthy, and for some unscientific or unreasonable requests of their children, parents will refuse at once.

But for the relatives of the next generation, they will not. No matter what kind of request they make, they will do their best to meet it, because they will feel that they are a generation apart, and it is indeed very kind.

Speaking of the problem of "intergenerational parents", many people have something to say: This is really the situation at home, once parents beat themselves, but they never felt distressed, but now they haven't yelled at their children, and the old man ran out to stop them. The person who dared to beat himself at the beginning is not the same person who is protecting his grandson now?

It seems that the "intergenerational parent" is really unreasonable.

He is very frugal, but he is very generous to his grandson

The older generation has come from a hard life, so they have always developed a relatively frugal habit, and they are reluctant to buy anything, even if they have sufficient pensions, they are never willing to spend money. However, since the old man has grandchildren, it is different, he never stingy with buying things for his grandchildren, he wants to give the best things to his grandchildren, and the old man feels that it is worth it when he sees the children happy.

My cousin's parents-in-law are also thrifty people, and they are very frugal when they eat and buy Shenshi vegetables every day. However, after the birth of his cousin's son, it is different for the old man to buy things for his grandson, he always chooses the freshest fruit when he buys it, even if the imported ** is more expensive, he never feels sorry for the money. Every time my cousin comes home and sees a label similar to a cherry box in the trash can, she complains in her heart:

The old man really felt sorry for his grandson, so he bought such expensive fruits for his children.

It's okay to beat your own children, but it's not okay for your children to beat your grandchildren

Of course, the old man's "intergenerational relatives" are also manifested in the "calf protection". For later, there were still a few people who had not been beaten when they were children. I think that when our parents were educating us, they emphasized that "if you don't fight, you can't make a weapon", but after our children were born, those who were upgraded to grandparents evolved into "grandson protectors", and they couldn't bear to let their grandchildren suffer a little grievance.

For example, a classmate had such an experience: when he was a child, because he was beaten by his father, his grandfather chased his father with a stick for most of the village; And now, he beat the baby, and the baby's grandfather didn't talk to him for a month. It seems that the talk of "intergenerational relatives" is the same at all times!

The reason why the elderly are "intergenerational" has a lot to do with the fact that they are older and have become softer in the face of children's education; At the same time, his guilt for his children was used on his grandchildren, and he became more and more fond of his grandchildren.