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1. Communicate more than parents, learn to combine feelings and reason; 2. Learn to be friends with parents and communicate more when you have questions; 3. Correctly handle interpersonal relationships and think about others in the face of conflicts; 4. Cultivate self-esteem, self-confidence and social responsibility.
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Every child will have a rebellious period, a rebellious period of adolescence. At this time, parents and teachers need to be patient to persuade and educate.
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What to do with the child's rebellious period? When the child is in the rebellious period, the easiest way is actually not to ask the child, not to reason with the child, and let the child make his own decisions.
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For example, the token system of Chiwa School, I think this simulation method is very good, which can not only exercise students' life skills, but also make students understand that money is not easy to come by, parents make money is very hard, and people who know how to be grateful will definitely become a pillar of talent in the future.
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1. Respect. Even the relationship between parents and children needs to be respected, and many children especially like to rebel against their parents during the rebellious period, because they do not get the respect they deserve from their parents. Children's growth also needs personal privacy, personal choice space, good education should start from respect, but also the beginning of the correct love of children.
2. Equality. The most comfortable parent-child relationship is often equal to each other, and children and parents can be on the same platform, rather than being condescendingly constrained by their parents. When parents can treat their children as an independent person and do not cut off the dialogue with their children on an equal footing, many problems can be truly solved and the parent-child relationship can be brought closer.
3. Communication. Here we pay more attention to benign communication, rather than unilateral preaching and accusation, children also need to have the right to express their parents, only communicate with each other to give back to parents in order to understand the specific situation of children. In addition, parents' love and support for their children also need to be expressed through communication, and do not let insincere language hurt each other's feelings.
4. Understanding. The core of understanding is that parents can learn to listen to and tolerate their children's ideas, maybe there is a generation gap between parents and children, maybe parents will not understand why children have this or that thought. However, this does not prevent us from learning to understand the child, to understand the child's thoughts and intentions, rather than to deny them altogether, so that the communication can continue and not end in an argument.
5. Majesty. Parents always need to play a role model in the process of their children's growth, and only by giving their children positive role models can children learn more good places. In front of their children, in addition to respect and equality, parents also need to retain a certain degree of majesty, and this comes from the personality charm of parents, so that children are more willing to accept our education.
6. Guidance. Many parents habitually force their children to follow their own ideas in their children's education, and often teach their children from the perspective of empiricism. "What I said is right, I am your father, you must listen to me", "If you don't listen to me, sooner or later you will regret it", but the more this kind of rhetoric, the more likely it is to cause children's rebellion, and the correct guidance and let children make the right choice is effective education.
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First, first of all, make it clear that the rebellious period will not be lifted, and the best way is to pass it smoothly. The process of human growth cannot be selective, and it cannot be "skipped" or "deleted" just because the age of 15 is the so-called "rebellious period".
Second, clarify what exactly is meant by "rebellion"? Rebellion is often what comes out of the mouths of our parents, that is, we stand under our knowledge background, and then the children's knowledge background is different from ours, and their understanding is even more different. Different understandings and different standards of judgment in two different knowledge backgrounds, and then we parents say that the child is wrong, you are not right, you are "rebellious", and this is the origin of rebellion.
Third, how to spend it? In fact, it is very simple, the meaning expressed by adolescent children is often just an external manifestation of emotion, and parents are usually unable to distinguish between events and emotions, and directly criticize people.
Doing a good job in parent-child relationship is the premise of solving the problem, the parent-child relationship is good, the child has any heartfelt words to communicate with the parents, the parents only give the right opinion (by no means with a directional compulsion), the choice is given to the child, and the children will make the best choice on their own, because people are divine. If a person has the ability to do things well, he will never deliberately do things badly, unless he is emotionally opposed to his parents.
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Summary. The changes in a girl's life are irreversible, and some things may cause damage for a lifetime on impulse, so self-love should be put in the first place, and you should not regret it in the future. At the same time, you yourself mentioned fear, and from another point of view, this fear also protects you from many insecurity factors.
From your statement, it can also be seen that you are very sensible, but there is also a little willfulness, there are many cognitions about adolescence on the Internet, sometimes I feel that what they say is exactly the same as their own experience, and you also need to look at it with a dialectical eye and do the right thing according to yourself.
What should I do when my rebellious period comes?
First of all, it's a misconception that you think you're in the rebellious period. The correct perception is that when you reach puberty, your physical development grows, and under the influence of various hormones, your emotions become delicate and sensitive, and you crave attention, recognition and love. And what you think of as rebellion is ignored by the people around you.
In any case, everyone has experienced the troubles of adolescence, but now that the Internet is developed, more information can be seen, but in terms of security, it is far less than the help given by parents, elders and teachers. Communicate more, communicate more, and stay away from risk factors.
I often quarrel with my parents and swear now, what should I do? I don't want to! I'm not good at expressing love, and I feel embarrassed by the love my parents gave me, what should I do?
To learn to be patient and control yourself, you don't need to express yourself, but you must control yourself.
But those words blurted out, my mother was very strict with me, saying that if I couldn't get into the top ten in the exam, I wouldn't be allowed to study, I was a teacher's child, and my mother said that people looked down on if they didn't take the exam, alas, what should I do? Sometimes, I really can't stand it, these so-called love makes me feel miserable,,, my mother also has a bad temper, she throws things when she gets angry, I'm scared, what to do!
The changes in a girl's life are irreversible, and some things may cause damage for a lifetime on impulse, so self-love should be put in the first place, and you should not regret it in the future. At the same time, you yourself mentioned fear, and from another point of view, this fear also protects you from many insecurity factors. From your statement, it can also be seen that you are very sensible, but there is also a little willfulness, there are many cognitions about adolescence on the Internet, sometimes I feel that what they say is exactly the same as their own experience, and you also need to look at it with a dialectical eye and do the right thing according to yourself.
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1. Be sure to communicate more, understand the child's growth and their own practical difficulties, especially when the child grows up, there will definitely be a lot of rebellious, hostile problems, and even a lot of challenges to the authority of the parents, at this time to be more tolerant.
2. Don't let your child be too anxious and nervous, that is, let your child have more positive emotional performance, when the child has rebellious, anxious, irritable problems, we must communicate and communicate more, and strive to alleviate negative emotions. You can also take your child out shopping, chat with good friends, watch movies together, etc., through activities to increase the intimacy between you and your child, and at the same time can transfer your child's attention.
3. We should also actively guide children to develop their own interests and hobbies, such as letting children learn to play ball, play the piano, paint, etc., only if children have enough things to do and set very good life goals, they can actively and actively work hard to reduce the impact of rebellion on themselves. Hobbies can make a child's life happy and happy, such as playing ball, swimming, and painting, which can make children full and independent, thereby reducing the appearance of rebellious behavior.
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We who have been rebellious in life will have a contradiction in our hearts after having a failure experience, that is, in the future life according to their own wishes or listen to the advice of their parents, after all, the once stubborn life according to their own ideas has failed, and those who live according to their parents' advice are now living a very comfortable life, and many people will wonder if they have chosen the wrong one.
In fact, no matter how we choose in life, we will envy what we don't get, which can include almost everyone, after all, we are not saints, it is impossible to achieve the degree of never being interested in external objects, and most of them will unconsciously exaggerate the success and happiness of others to compare their own failures, this is the psychology that many people will have, and it is this psychological reaction that makes us doubt ourselves at that time. envied the life that our parents painted for us.
According to normal life, no matter what kind of life will be unsatisfactory, after this unsatisfactory is also self-doubt, but people who listen to their parents will envy those who are disobedient and successful after encountering unsolvable things, but they will not envy those who are disobedient and fail, so the point of this matter is that we envy the successes, not the losers.
So no matter whether we are obedient or disobedient, the point is whether the person in the example is successful, and when our parents tell us what path we want to take, we are also talking about the benefits of success, and we will automatically block those who are unsuccessful, just like our parents, because all of us will take it for granted that we or our children will succeed.
When we encounter things, we can envy those who take a different path from ourselves, but we should not take for granted that what they get is what we will also have, and we will have successful and unsuccessful people who follow the same path as others, so such arguments or ideas can only stay on the surface in the end, and after a deep discussion, we will find that everything is only in theory.
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Children who are disobedient and rebellious should be guided in time, which can be improved from the aspects of observation and communication, staying calm, setting an example, and giving encouragement.
1.Observation and communication: Observe the way children communicate with themselves, in many cases, parents must go beyond their own roles, observe the problem of children's rebellion from the perspective of a third party, and empathize with each other and make limited accommodations.
3.Set an example: If you want to change your child's behavior, parents must first change themselves, educating your child is also a process of self-education, and you must be principled in doing things, especially any requirements for your child, which cannot be met unconditionally, if you do not meet your child's requirements discerningly, your child will become more and more presumptuous.
4.Give encouragement: Encourage your child more, don't yell when your child is disobedient, and communicate with them more. Parents of rebellious children should understand their children as much as possible and give them moral support.
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1. Don't be too democratic. Many parents seem to be very democratic and discuss everything with their children, shall we go to dinner? Shall we brush our teeth together?
Most children will not be good in this situation! Then you start to lose your temper or reason again, and your baby will be even more disobedient.
2. Let your child do multiple-choice questions. Before asking your child, give him two choices in a way that is acceptable to you! For example, do you want to eat rice or noodles?
Shall we go out now, or in five minutes? Of course, some children will give additional answers, so you can clearly tell them that this is not within the range of choices, and then repeat your proposition again very seriously. In fact, many times children don't want to give parents too much impact, usually at this time he will choose according to your range.
On the one hand, this can give your child a good guide, and on the other hand, make your child feel that you respect him very much and have a sense of ownership!
3. Don't always communicate in a commanding tone. For example: Don't throw toys around!
In fact, you just say: the baby should put the toys away! He was more than happy to accept it.
If the parent is rude, the child will learn from your rudeness, and then it will be endlessly countering violence with violence", so parents should change 1% first, and then the baby will change 99%.
4. Give your child time to prepare. Although the child is mainly playful, it is also his job", it is not that if you shout to stop rudely, he must stop immediately, you have to give him time to react. For example:
Don't grind! "Baby, in five minutes, we're going to eat!" ”
5. Let more people participate in the growth of children. The child is not the mother's alone, and the child who is brought up with one hand has long figured out the mother's temperament, so it is easy to win in the battle of wits and courage. If the father can communicate more with the child, he does not need to discipline or reason, just play with him and show him, he will naturally understand what the rules are and what are the rules!
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