Why parents always can t understand their children

The child is a blank sheet of paper, and the parents are the ink. If it is well written, the paper will have knowledge and value; If it's not well written, it's just a mess. If you want your child to understand your parents, you must first lower your identity and ask your child about their doubts and confusions, rather than blindly letting your child change when he knows his mistakes.

In the case that the child's definition of right and wrong is not yet fully clear, what parents should do is to let the child distinguish between right and wrong, instead of unreasonable struggle, fighting for life and death, so why give birth to an ignorant doll? Children are blessed, and if they don't know how to appreciate blessedness, then they will have more evil in their hearts. Conflict originates from disputes, and you must know how to cross children with a magnanimous heart.

In this way, the child's heart will be good, and the family will also add a steady stream of blessings. Speaking of which, I think that as a child I have realized the value of my own existence, however, I will not have children without being fully mature, because I don't want my children to have a pair of parents who do not know how to understand and forgive their children.

Understanding children requires parents to have a basic understanding of what their children are exposed to (they may not be proficient or even disliked, but they must have a minimum of common sense about the world of young people. For example, the examination is not very good, online shopping is very common, and it is difficult to find a job during the financial crisis, etc.), and it also requires a lot of time and energy to communicate. A small number of parents are unwilling to give, either selfishly and only want their children to obey them, and do not want to understand their children; Either lazy or impatient.

You don't understand the child in the future either" is nonsense. Understanding can be done, depending on whether you work hard. At least my parents did, and so did a lot of other parents I've met.

Times are different,,Sure...

I don't know about your parents, my father is absolutely insane.

When you become a parent, you may not be able to understand your child's paper.

Just as children can't understand their parents, parents should be more considerate of them when they are old.

Because the era is different, there is no generation gap, and the ideas are different.

Try to be considerate of your parents...

Why can't we ask the other way around, why can't children understand their parents?

Because parents and children are two separate individuals, with different perceptual systems, they both have their own real feelings, and there is no right or wrong.

Because parents have been through so much, they think they are experienced and think that their children do not understand society. They think that the child is right as long as they do what they say. Parents do not understand that their children are unable to put themselves in their children's shoes because of the problems they have experienced.

The way parents understand their children

1. Only if you don't aim to change can you change. Take time to talk to your child, let go of our adult utilitarianism and purpose, truly listen, understand, respect, appreciate, listen attentively, and truly pay attention to his heart.

2. Everything has a positive side. When the child reaches adolescence and quarrels with us, it shows that the child has an independent mind; On the other hand, it reminds us that the way of communication is inappropriate, and we need to adjust and learn to improve ourselves.

If the child has been holding back his emotions, it is also terrible to hold it to a certain extent. We should pay more attention to the positive inspiration and meaning brought by the quarrel between our children and us, and we should adjust, learn and improve in a timely manner.

3. The child's self-concept.

It usually comes from the evaluation of his parents and the evaluation of important people around him. Give your child a positive self-concept.

4. Pay attention to the positive side, even if it is a small positive side. A spark can also have the potential to ignite the prairie fire, and I believe that small changes can make a big difference.

As parents, although they love their children very much, most parents do things without thinking from their children's point of view. They only think from their own position and perspective, which also leads to a gap between parents and children, parents only consider their own position, but do not consider their children's position, which is why most parents do not understand their children.

Many parents do something to their children without considering their children's feelings and cannot understand their children's feelings. For example, when comparing children, they only think about motivating children, but they have never considered the child's feelings, nor have they considered the child's position, nor can they understand the child's mood at this moment, which is why parents cannot understand the child.

Impact: 1. Loss of children's trust.

Parents are the closest people in the world for children, and children will establish attachment relationships with their parents when they are children, and parents can be said to be the most trusted people for children. Children hope that their parents can understand them and empathize with them, but parents do not think about the problem from the perspective of their children, and do not understand their children, which is far more harmful than scolding their children, and their parents' incomprehension of their children will lose their children's trust.

2. Hurt the child's mind.

Most parents only look at the results, not the process, although the child has worked hard in order to get good grades, but parents will only look at the child's academic performance. When a child's test results are not satisfactory, they only care about their own feelings and ignore their children's feelings. They will stand on their own position to accuse the child, compare other people's excellent children with him, hit him, ridicule him, and the behavior of parents hurts the child's heart.

Parents are considerate and understand their children, so they have to mention one word: empathy. Some people are born with a strong ability to empathize, and the predicament of others can be easily discovered and "empathized".

Such people, after becoming parents, can easily see whether the child is sad and painful, or happy and joyful, through observation and empathy, parents can better understand the child.

But some people are born with a weak ability to empathize, and when others are in a difficult situation, it is difficult to understand, let alone understand. Such people, after becoming parents, often understand their children's behaviors and thoughts through their own feelings and situations, so it is easy to have conflicts and conflicts with children.

There is a core method of empathy, which is "empathy".

Empathy is when parents put themselves in the position of their children and think about how they will feel when they encounter such a situation. For example, if a child breaks a cup, parents can try to put themselves in their shoes when criticizing the child's frivolity. Parents can think about how they accidentally broke something when they were young, fearing that their mother would punish them, and feeling sorry for the broken things.

Parents also grow up from their children, and they are usually able to understand their children's feelings, and then educate their children through this feeling, so that parents will be able to communicate with their children more easily.

If the parents still can't feel it, then they can change to the current situation. Parents can think about it, if the computer is accidentally broken in the company, this kind of "worry", "scared", "complaining about the company's computer is not good" mood, parents try to understand, it will be easier to resonate with their children.

When a child is in pain or does something wrong, parents are more empathetic and can understand what the child needs at the moment, which will be more conducive to education and parent-child relationship.

Parents always think that they have experienced a lot, and the children of our era have to listen to the words of their time, and evaluate us with their core values, which is very funny, they gave birth to us, and when they are a little angry, they say that they should not give birth to us, why did they give birth to us, and some parents may also say that their children's behavior is not human, immoral or anything.

When we are told (scolded) by our parents, we are not = angry; We = quibble. A lot of times, they don't give us a chance.

Reason with their parents, say a word, they can reply dozens of sentences, and tell them that the current society is different from the past, and 80% of them will say that the current society is worse than before.

As a post-00s, I'm really tired.

Not only did they not receive the comfort and encouragement of their parents; Instead, they were refuted, scolded, and beaten.

If it were me, I would say to my future child: "You can fall in love, as long as you can listen to some things that should be heard, I will not take my own experience as your future experience, I am not qualified to choose life for you, if someone says you, scold you, bully you, tell me and your dad, we will help you." ”

I hope the post-00s and post-10s can be happy.

Parents' lack of understanding of their children is a common problem, which can lead to difficulties in communication and getting along with their parents, which in turn affects the child's psychological and behavioral development. In this case, the child can take the following steps to cope:

Try to have in-depth communication with your parents Communication is the best way to solve problems. Children can try to communicate deeply with their parents to let them know what they are thinking and feeling, especially when the child's thoughts are not at the same level as those of the parents. Children can try to illustrate their views with more objective examples, so that parents can understand themselves better.

Seek outside help If communication between the child and the parent has not improved, the child may consider seeking outside help. For example, a child can find a trusted teacher or counselor to help with the problem, or a professional counselor to help him or her deal with the problem. These professionals can provide better advice and guidance to children to help them get along better with their parents.

Try to understand what the parents are thinking While parents may not understand their children, children should also try to understand their parents' thoughts. Children can think about why their parents think the way they do, or whether their behavior causes concern to their parents. By understanding their parents' thoughts, children can better manage their relationship with their parents and ease conflicts between them.

Seek support from peers Children can also seek support from their peers. With peers, children can find like-minded friends and exchange their feelings and thoughts, which can lead to emotional support and comfort. In addition, children can learn more life lessons from their peers and better deal with problems with their parents.

Maintain a positive and optimistic attitude In the face of parents who do not understand their situation, children should try to maintain a positive and optimistic attitude. Children can think about their strengths and strengths and strive to build on them. At the same time, the child should also believe in his own abilities and believe that he can solve problems, and despite the difficulties he will encounter, he should believe that he is capable of overcoming these difficulties.

In conclusion, parents do not understand that children are a common problem, but children can cope with the situation in a positive way. Children can try to communicate deeply with their parents, seek external help, understand their parents' thoughts, seek support from their peers, maintain a positive and optimistic attitude, etc. The most important thing is that the child should believe that he is capable of overcoming these difficulties and that he can find solutions to problems in order to better develop his own psychology and behavior.

At the same time, parents should also understand and respect their children as much as possible, establish better communication and getting along with their children, and promote family harmony and the healthy growth of children.

Because children are still too young to understand the hard work of their parents, they will only consider the problem from their own point of view, and naturally there is no way to understand what their parents have done for themselves.

Because children's minds are always immature, they always look at problems from their own point of view, and in this way, they have never been parents, so they naturally do not understand.

It's not that children will never be able to understand their parents, if it is something that happened recently, but also to see if the child is in a rebellious period, when the child is more stubborn, some will even be a little extreme, and now parents need to communicate with them well. There may also be reasons why parents don't use it in the right way and don't really understand what their children think.

Because parents and children have different thoughts, and children are taken care of and raised and have not experienced many things, they cannot understand their parents.

Because there is no real empathy. Moreover, parents and children stand from different angles, so they must not understand each other.

Because two people are on different standpoints, they can't understand each other, and many parents feel that what they are doing is right and their children are wrong.

It may be because children will never be able to judge problems from their parents' point of view, nor will they be able to experience what their parents have experienced.

I don't think they have experienced it personally, only after they have experienced it they know the hardships of others, they never think about problems from the standpoint of their parents, they only think that they are children, and their parents should be good to them.

Because the environment in which children grow up is different from the environment in which parents grow. As a result, there are many issues where the two sides do not agree on the same views.

Summary. It is because the way of thinking of adults and children is different, children's thinking is in a single state, and they can only understand one thing according to what they think, so that there will be the so-called "child's words" phenomenon, and in the eyes of adults, some of the children's ideas, practices and words are nonsense or strong words, this is a kind of poor thinking, so there will be this kind of problem Communicate more, listen carefully to children's opinions and ideas, and convey the ideas of adults, so that it will be much better

Hello dear, because my parents were not understood when they were children, so they have no sensibility and no empathy. That is, the parents passed it on, the education method of the original family. Parents have their parents' experiences and ideas, and they will naturally think that they have experience and that what they say is right.

Because of the lack of Tongqing's understanding, they will naturally not look at the problem from the perspective of the child's answer.

Why do parents always wronged their children.

It is because adults and children have different ways of thinking, children's thinking is in a single state of caution, and they can only understand one thing according to what they think, so that there will be the so-called "child's words" phenomenon, and in the eyes of adults, some of the ideas, practices and words of children are nonsense or strong words, which is a kind of poor thinking, so there will be this kind of problem Communicate more, listen carefully to children's opinions and ideas, and convey adults' ideas, It's a lot better that way

Why do parents always let us do what they think is right, but in the end they ruin their children's future?

Because parents don't trust their children to take care of themselves, this is also because parents don't trust their children, so they over-nurture their children. Parents think that the over-parenting of their children is for their own good, and this kind of parenting can make him fly higher and his life can be smoother, but this is not the case.