How to politely refuse to borrow personal belongings?

If a good friend borrows something from me, I basically won't say no. If someone I don't know well borrows personal belongings, I'll say that my friend took them and used them. Be natural when you speak and make it look like that's really what it's like to make people look like that.

Since it's a tact, I don't want to destroy the emotions between roommates, my personal opinion is, for example, he borrows some small things and consumables, such as toilet paper, pens and the like, in this case, I usually come in reverse, you ask me to borrow once, I also ask you to borrow once, you can be more diligent than him haha, over time, it may not be eradicated, but it should be comfortable in the heart, and it will not always feel like a loss, but if he doesn't borrow you, you can rest assured that he will definitely be embarrassed to ask you to borrow next time.

In the past, I often encountered the situation of living with others, there will always be someone to borrow something from me, if the other party is with himself, then nothing is okay for him, if the other party is a treacherous villain, directly refuse. Of course, if it is a woman who borrows something, regardless of beauty or ugliness, it will be treated equally, and if you don't borrow it, women will be the most annoying to borrow things.

On this issue, I personally think that in fact, it is natural for you not to lend things to others, but if you refuse too seriously, you will have a bad impression in the future, you can reply in a polite tone, I'm really sorry, I'm still using this item, so it's not very convenient to lend it to you, don't explain too much.

In fact, whether it is a current roommate, or a future colleague or friend, often borrowing things from you can only show one point, that is, this person does not treat you as a friend, but is greedy for cheapness, and even gets an inch. Since he doesn't take you seriously, then why should you be embarrassed to reject people like him directly, this situation should be rejected directly.

My biggest shortcoming is that I won't refuse people, this is the most painful, I think this should be how to refuse on different occasions, for example: this is what I cherish the most, I love it very much, it is necessary to make it clear in advance not to borrow, and then other things can be borrowed but must be placed in the place I specify, otherwise I will not borrow.

I don't think it matters if she borrows occasionally, but if she borrows every day, almost a habit, then I will never lend to her, and I will make it clear to her that borrowing is not what I should be.

When someone borrows something from me, I will give it to him if I have it, and if I don't, I will talk to him, and say bluntly that others can understand you

The person who has been borrowing things is not lacking this thing at all, but he is psychologically greedy for convenience and likes to trouble others, and the more you help him, the more he will take it for granted.

Tell the other party that you may still use it later, so it is not convenient to lend it to him.

My former college roommate was very fond of using other people's personal belongings, and when we found out, she said directly in the dorm that she didn't like people touching my things, and then the other people in the dorm would echo her, and she herself would know that she would no longer use your things.

You can tell him that it is better to use personal items for yourself, and if everyone uses them, there will be bacteria.

I think if it were me, I'd say I'm going to use it too, and it's going to take a long time.

If you really don't want to lend him something, you can use a very polite tone to refuse tactfully, for example, in a joking tone, don't he have such a thing? Or if you tell him not to take it as an example, he will never look for you again after this time, which can solve this problem very well. When someone borrows something from you and you don't want to borrow it, you can smile and politely decline.

And told him that I would use something like this in a while. You can also tell him that these things are not mine, but I have lent them to others. It's all something that can be done, or it's a matter of telling him to borrow something from someone else.

Hello dear, I have found three small methods for you, as follows: 1. Postponement When a friend borrows something from you, you can pretend to be in a hurry (it's best to pick up a ** or something), and then euphemistically say to a friend: "I don't have time now, I'm in a hurry to do a very important thing, and when I have time, I'll talk about it."

After speaking, leave in a hurry, and be sure not to wait for your friends to say anything more before leaving, so that it will seem that you are really in a hurry. 2. Recommend others When a friend borrows something from you, you can say: "This thing of mine is not very easy to use, I don't use it much myself, I remember that so-and-so seems to have a very good one, you can ask him".

After you say this, your friend will probably understand that you don't want to lend him something, and they won't be pestering you about anything. 3. Pretend to look for the methodWhen a friend borrows something from you, you can pretend that you can't find this thing, and then look for it in one place over and over again. When you look for it, you can also say to yourself:

I remember putting it in this place, but why can't I find it? When your friends see that you have been looking for you, whether they believe it or not, they will say, "Don't look for it yet, I'll ask the others."

In this way, he politely refused his friend's request to borrow something. You can make an excuse that she has lent this thing to someone else, and if she keeps borrowing this thing from you, you can ask her if she wants to buy it and push the link to her.

Tip 1: Cost swapping.

In life, it is inevitable to encounter times when friends borrow money and colleagues ask for help. If you refuse directly, you will appear to be impersonal, and you will make enemies for yourself.

However, helping each other unconditionally without a bottom line is also easy to let yourself fall into passivity and become a "bad good person".

If you want not to offend the other party without suffering losses, you must let the other party know the cost you need to help him, and then exchange the value.

For example, colleague Xiao Li: "You can help me see what else needs to be revised in my report." ”

You can: "Wait for me for half an hour, I'll deal with the work at hand first, Mr. Wang is in a hurry." ”

The half-hour he waits here can be seen as the interchange cost you need to help him read the report. If he can afford to wait, you can help him, and if he can't afford to wait, you save time, and he won't blame you.

Skill 2: Lift others to the detriment of yourself.

Some people always speak from their own point of view, resulting in extreme discomfort for those around them as soon as they are spoken.

The speaker has no intention, but the listener has the intention. If you can politely refuse, don't get results by slandering others.

However, sometimes we tend to say things without choosing our words, and it is difficult to control our emotions after opening our eyes, which leads to saying the wrong thing. At this time, we have to find a way to remedy it.

The best way to do this is psychological compensation. Alleviate embarrassment by elevating the other person and belittling self-preservation. Of course, devaluing oneself is only to take care of the feelings of others, not to deny oneself in a real way.

Tip 3: Good reason.

When you want to reject someone, you must find a good reason, rather than directly coming up to refuse and quarrel early.

For example, if a friend asks you to borrow money, and you directly say that you will not borrow, it indicates that your relationship will come to an end.

But you rationalize rejection and tell him:"I'm sorry, I just bought a house recently, and I'm repaying the loan, and after paying off the loan and living expenses, I don't have any money, if you're in a hurry, I'll help you borrow it." ”