Collect as many jokes as you want, collect five jokes

Because it's a mother bunny. 2.One person asked

Do you know how to put an elephant in the freezer? Another replied, "It's very simple, first open the refrigerator door, then put the elephant in, and finally close the door."

3.Two people were walking on the road, and one of them suddenly fell, and the other asked, "Are you okay?"

The man who fell: "I'm fine, my knee just said hello to the ground." ”4.

One day, the teacher asked Xiao Ming, "What does your father do?" "Xiao Ming:

My dad was a firefighter. The teacher asked, "Does he often go to work?"

Xiao Ming: "Not often, I only go to work when there is a fire." ”5.

Once, a man went to an interview and the interviewer asked him, "Why do you want this job?" "This person:

Because I need money. The interviewer then asked, "Then why do you need money?"

This person: "Because I need to buy something." "I hope mine is helpful to you<>

topic - two joke stories and a riddle.

Teacher: Honestly, do you smoke? Boy A:

Do not suck. Teacher: Don't suck?

Well, eat the root fries. Boy A naturally stretched out two fingers and took the .........Scenario 2 Teacher: Do you smoke?

Boy B: Don't suck. Teacher:

Do not suck. Well, eat the root fries. Boy B heard A's situation, so he took the fries very carefully, and the teacher:

Don't get a touch of ketchup? B Yi accidentally got too much and immediately flicked it with two fingers Teacher: Don't suck ???

I'm very skilled at flicking cigarette ash. Ask parents to come and .........Scene 3 Teacher: Do you smoke?

Boy C: Don't suck. Teacher:

Do not suck. Okay, let's have a french fries. Boy C's sweat and finish the fries with the first two examples

Don't you bring roots back to your classmates? Boy C took the fries and put them on his ears .........Scene 4 Teacher: Do you smoke?

Boy Ding: Don't suck. Teacher:

Very good. Eat a french fries The boy Ding finished the fries in fright, and put the fries in his jacket pocket, and the teacher suddenly shouted: The principal is here.

The boy hurriedly took out the fries from his pocket and threw them on the ground, stomping on the ......... with his footScenario 5 Teacher: Do you smoke? Boys:

Do not suck. Teacher: Very good.

Eat a french fries The boy just took the fries, and the teacher said, "Don't you invite me to eat them?" The boy hurriedly passed the fries from both hands, then took out the lighter .........Scene 6 Teacher:

Do you smoke? Boy: No.

Teacher: Very good. Eat a french fries The boy ate the fries in horror and put the fries in his jacket pocket The teacher suddenly shouted

The headmaster is here. The boy bowed his head with sweaty palms and said, "Hello principal!"

Teacher: The principal will smell the taste in your mouth. The boy pulled the fries out of his pocket:

Ah, it's still here, the fire hasn't been lit yet...Scene 7 teacher: Do you smoke or not? Boys:

Promise God absolutely no sucking. Teacher: Really don't suck?

Okay, let's have a root fries. Boy: It's very natural to take the fries and eat them clean.

Teacher: What a good boy, what brand of fries do you usually like? Boys:

Get carried away] Wanbao Road... Scene N: Teacher:

Let's eat root fries! Boy: [shuddering] Thanks, no.

A woman got off the night shift, a man followed the plot, the woman was afraid, passed by the cemetery, and said to the grave: Dad, I'm back, open the door. The man was terrified, screaming and running.

The woman was at peace and was about to leave, when suddenly a gloomy voice came from the grave: "Girl, you forgot to bring the key again." The woman was frightened and ran away.

At this time, a tomb robber came out of the grave and said: Damn, delay my work, scare you to death! As soon as the words of tomb robbing fell, I found that an old man next to him was carving a tombstone with a chisel, curious, and asked, the old man said angrily, nnd, they carved my name wrong......The great fear of robbing the tomb, waw wow screaming and running.

The old man sneered: "Damn, dare to steal business with me, and be a little more ......tender."As he was talking, the chisel accidentally fell to the ground, and the old man was about to pick it up, when he bent down and found that the chisel was held in one hand in the grass, the old man was startled, and suddenly a voice said: "You are looking for death!"

Mess with my house number! ”。The old man is rolling down the hill!

At this moment, a scavenger crawled out of the grass, "Damn, it takes so much money to make a piece of iron."

[Pig 1 and Pig 2 are at the door, and Pig 3 is on the roof. Pig 1's name is "who".

Pig 2's name is "where".

Pig 3's name is "what". 】

And so there is a wonderful conversation.

Wolf): Who are you?

Pig 1): Right.

Wolf): What?

Pig) 1: "what" on the roof.

Wolf: I'm asking what's your name?

Pig 1): My name is "who", "what" on the roof!

The wolf asked Pig 2): Who are you?

Pig 2): I'm not "who", he's "who". [Pointing to Pig 1] (Wolf): Do you know him?

Pig 2): Hmm!

Wolf): Who is he?

Pig 2): Yes.

Wolf): What?

Pig 2): "What" on the roof!

Wolf: Where?

Pig 2): "Where" is me.

Wolf): Who? Pig 2): He is "who". [Pointing to pig 1 again].

Wolf: How do I know.

Pig 2): Who are you looking for?

Wolf): What?

Pig 2): He's on the roof?

Wolf: Where?

Pig 2): It's me.

Wolf): Who? Pig 2): I'm not "who", he's "who".

Wolf: Oh my God!

Piggy 1.2): "Oh my God" is our dad.

Wolf: What's your dad?

Pig 2): No!

The wolf couldn't stand it anymore, and looked up to the sky and sighed: Why?

Piggy 1.2.3): Do you know our grandfather?

Wolf): What?

Pig 1): No, our grandfather is "why".

Wolf): Why?

Pig 1): Yes!

Wolf: What is it?

Pig 1): Not "why".

Wolf): Who? Pig 1): I am "who".

Wolf): Who are you?

Pig 1): Yes, I'm "who".

Wolf): What?

Pig Pig 1.2): "What" on the roof. The wolf cried out, oh my God!

I'm crazy! So he jumped into the pot and cried and said: 3 big pigs. You eat me, I have no attachment to life!

The Mandarin teacher, who has a strong local accent, read aloud an ancient poem by Lu You entitled "Lying Spring" for the students, and asked the students to dictate it.

The Mandarin teacher reads aloud as follows.

One student dictated the following.

Wo Chun" I'm stupid".

Dark plum whispers flowers, I have no culture, lying on the branch and hating the bottom, my IQ is very low, I am lying like water in the distance, I want to ask who I am, easy to penetrate the spring green.

A big stupid donkey.

The shore is green, I am a donkey, the shore is green, I am a donkey, the shore is green.

I'm a stupid donkey.

Write! Dean: "To whom!"

Patient: "Write to myself!" "Dean:

What is written! Patient: "You pig, I haven't received it, how do you know what is written?"

Joke 2: A new car with a "Don't kiss me" sign was hit by a car behind it, and the driver asked for 600 yuan. The perpetrator said: It costs 600 yuan to hit it, it's too ruthless! The driver said: You are the first kiss, of course the cost is high!

Joke 3: The turtle laughed at the weasel and said, "If you look at your thief's eyebrows, you will do things like stealing chickens and touching dogs." The weasel said, "You'd better mind yourself!" Wearing a cuckold all day long and laughing at others. ”

Joke 4: I remember one time, I didn't do well in the exam, and then when I went home, my father beat me with a broom, and I suddenly remembered that the teacher said that I should be considerate of my parents, so I said while being beaten: Dad, didn't you eat today?

Joke 5: I advised my mother: If you don't need things at home, you might as well throw them away and put them at home to occupy space! My mother: Then you don't want to leave this house unconsciously!

Xiao Ming did not pass the exam, so he sent a telegram to his younger brother and asked his father to prepare his thoughts. Soon the younger brother called back: "Father is ready, now please be mentally prepared."

2. During the summer vacation, dormitory student A went online, met classmate B (mobile phone QQ), and asked what he was doing at home during the summer vacation.

B: Have fun on the farm.

A: You play such a stupid game.

B: Damn, Lao Tzu is playing the live-action version.

3. During the Warring States Period, Duke Qi Heng was placed under house arrest by King Zhao. In the middle of the night, Qi Henggong and his entourage prepared to escape. When I arrived at the city gate, I found that it was still dark and the city gate was not opened, but the pursuers would soon come.

At this time, Qi Henggong's entourage learned a few rooster crows, and they learned very similarly, and the roosters in the city crowed. The soldiers, thinking that it was dawn, opened the gates of the city, and they fled. After escaping from the city, Qi Henggong sighed:

It's good to learn one more foreign language! ”

4. Yesterday I heard a girl in the corridor slapping **: "At first, you treated me as oxygen, then as air, then as carbon dioxide, and now you treat me as carbon monoxide, what do you mean!" ”

5. Son: Dad, why did God create men first and then women? Father: Maybe he didn't want a woman to be nagging in his ear while he was making a man!

If you feel cold in your heart, please call my **! Please press 1 to talk about feelings, press 2 to talk about work, press 3 to talk about life, press 5 to introduce me to the object, please talk straight to dinner, and please hang up if you want me to borrow money.