What is low self esteem What is low self esteem and how can it be saved?

Is the question too broad?

In our daily life, we must have met people with "low self-esteem", and even ourselves are such people, they are used to hitting themselves, and they often have a very negative evaluation of themselves

Now I'm going to talk about low self-esteem:

1. What is low self-esteem

Low self-esteem is a negative self-belief in oneself. People with low self-esteem have a low opinion of themselves. They are accustomed to comparing themselves to others and then concluding that they are not as good as others.

2. Causes of low self-esteem

The causes of low self-esteem are influenced by a number of factors, and here are some factors that may play a role:

Genes:Some scientists believe that the formation of some low self-esteem is genetically determinedEveryone is born with a certain inclination, sensitivity, or vulnerability.

Family reasons:Childhood unhappiness or failure in family education, such as being often ignored, rarely encouraged, often compared to others, and repressive education, can make children feel that they are "not good enough". In addition, growing up in an overly spoiled and protective environment can also have negative consequences.

Survival Strategy:After experiencing many repressions, many people develop a survival strategy to protect themselves from failure and rejection, thus forming their own code of conduct and constantly reinforcing it in their daily lives.

3. How to save the oak and save low self-esteem

1. Know yourself and accept yourself

Each of us is a unique individual in the world, so we are slow to find out and recognize our complete selves, including our strengths and weaknesses. Second, accept all of yourself, both good and bad.

2.Express yourself boldly

People with low self-esteem tend to be accustomed to suppressing their true feelings. Always trying to be friendly and easy-going, but expecting others to guess what you really think. In fact, everyone in the world is paying attention to themselves, you don't express it, no one knows what you really think in your heart, boldly say what you think, maybe you will find that you are also respected and tolerated by the people around you.

3.Stop pleasing others

The so-called interpersonal relationships maintained through flattery are often not strong. In interpersonal communication, we must always maintain our own sense of boundaries, so as to fundamentally improve the stability of interpersonal relationships. Learn to say to what you don't want to ask"Nope".

4. Take the initiative to ask for help

When you need help and support, be bold and ask for help, but understand that some people may refuse, and once you get used to it, asking for help or even being rejected will not bring you a lot of feelings. In addition to family and friends, you can also seek help from professional organizations or associations.

Summary: Loving yourself is the beginning of all romance. The most important thing for people with low self-esteem is to learn to love themselves and understand that they are the most important thing, and this is not selfishness, but a sign of respect for themselves.

Low self-esteem: Low self-esteem is our negative self-belief and self-evaluation of ourselves. It is a kind of self-belief that self-evaluation is too negative, which will make you feel worthless or extremely low-value, and will over-amplify your shortcomings and ignore your strengths.

For example, I feel terrible and can't do anything. I am very concerned about what other people think, and I think that other people's attitudes and emotional changes are caused by my own shortcomings.

How to save low self-esteem? I think there are three rules of self-help:

Self-help rule 1: Focus on your strengths. Why, then, do we feel like waste in the face of failure?

In order to figure out this puzzle, the researchers did an interesting experiment on a whim. They divided the volunteers into high and low self-esteem, told them that they had failed on the test, and then asked them to describe their social skills. It was found that people with high self-esteem rated their social skills much better.

Focusing on their own strengths and coping with things that make them feel better have given them a higher sense of self-worth. When we encounter difficulties in the future, we might as well learn from those with high self-esteem, then be a "narcissistic" person: "I failed this time, so what, I have many, many other advantages!"

> self-help rule 2: focus on the areas we value In fact, the areas we value determine our self-esteem and self-worth, and it has a "high" professional name - "self-worth portfolio". In today's society, we are held hostage by consumerism, appearance anxiety, and so on, and the outside world tries to use anxiety to push us to do what they want us to do.

We need to learn to distract, to listen to ourselves, to do things that really make us feel worthy, to take our sense of self-worth into our own hands: "No, it's not important to me, it doesn't make me feel worthy." People don't have to be perfect everywhere to have a sense of worth.

Self-help rule 3: Abandon uncontrollable value evaluation criteria. A friend said that she felt that her combination of self-worth lies in others, and that the evaluation of others is where her sense of worth lies:

I feel like my sense of self-worth is sometimes on a roller coaster, with others praising me for being okay and criticizing me as if I'm in hell. Learning to eliminate uncontrollable factors can improve and stabilize our sense of self-worth: "This is an area that will ride a roller coaster of my sense of self-worth, and I should try to get rid of it."

Because whether it is the evaluation of others, whether it is success, or appearance, these are all things that we cannot control, because we cannot guarantee that we will always be accepted, maintain our beauty, or win in the competition.

A healthy state of self-esteem will motivate you to achieve your goals and be able to face the negativity of life. Even if life is not satisfactory, you can find surprises in small corners. When it comes to getting along with people, we can also set reasonable boundaries and maintain healthy intimacy.

When a woman is faced with feelings, she will always be very emotional, and if she really loves someone, she will give everything for the other person.

Knowing that the other party may not love her enough, or in this love, she has always been the more active party, she changes herself for him, and wrongs herself for him, which are all manifestations of "low self-esteem".

To put it bluntly, low self-esteem is to give up on yourself because you love someone, you only have him in your heart, as long as he asks you to do something, even if you are embarrassed, you will answer as before, even if you don't like things again, you will accompany him to complete it.

You think that if you change yourself, you will make him love you more, but is that actually the case? Maybe he has changed himself, and he will say to you, "I still like you as I was." ”

Even if a woman loves someone again, she must understand a truth: it is a very stupid thing for the scum to change for him, and he will not love you more because of it.

Love is mutual, only one-sided giving will be very tiring, after a long time, it is inevitable that there will be emotions, it is inevitable that there will be complaints.

If in a love, you have always been humble and flattering, no matter what you do, you have done it well, and then tell him, and he has always enjoyed it, and never thought about your feelings, what kind of love is this!

This is like Zhang Ailing's words: "When she saw him, she became very low, low to the dust, but her heart was happy, and flowers bloomed from the dust." ”

I used to like this sentence very much, and I thought that this kind of love was too great, but now I don't recognize this kind of love, love is so humble, and even to the point of pleasing each other, is it really great? Maybe it just touched yourself, but the other party was indifferent!

Unilateral humble flattery is never love, it's just your wishful thinking, when the other party has time to pay attention to you, they will play with you, and they don't want to pay attention to you, maybe they will leave without even saying hello.

Third: give everything for him.

In the face of love, women often behave impulsively, and if they like someone, they will feel that they have to give everything for it, and you will not like the second one except him.

Such a vigorous love is certainly touching, but it has to happen to someone who also loves you, if you love more than him, then, even if you give everything, it does not necessarily make him cherish you more.

Therefore, no matter how much you love someone, you must also consider repentance clearly, no matter how much you love someone, don't have "low self-esteem" love, remember!

People with low self-esteem are usually not confident enough in themselves, or feel that they can't meet a better love, so they will change themselves for the other party, humble and please, and will give everything for him.

But even if you do a good job, he won't be grateful to you, he will only think that it's normal for you to do this, and you should cater to him, and this kind of love is suffocating to think about.

The most feared thing in love is not that no one loves you, but that you don't know how to love someone. And later I also realized that there is no need to be ashamed of those cheapness in love, it can not only prove your ability to love others, but also make you understand that your bottom line can be so low, although it will make people temporarily lose their self-esteem, but it will also make you understand yourself better. Love, either know each other better, or know yourself better, these are all obtained.

Some people, it's not that they don't understand love, but.

Low self-esteem is a sign of a reluctance to test their inferences about themselves and a lack of belief in their own self-worth. Overly sensitive to interpersonal relationships and society.

Self-esteem strongly influences people's expectations, actions, and evaluation of themselves and others. People with high self-esteem are willing to test the validity of their inferences about themselves. People with high self-esteem have a high level of self-identification (affirming their overall worth), they tend to be receptive to other people, even those with whom they disagree, and generally have satisfying relationships.

Presenting characteristics of low self-esteem

People with high self-esteem expect to do things well, they will try hard, and they are likely to succeed in their studies, careers. They tend to attribute success to their own abilities. Therefore, people with high self-esteem have strong self-confidence and have a very realistic evaluation of their strengths and weaknesses.

They often think about the worst.

And it takes less effort, especially when the task is challenging and strenuous. As a result, they are less successful in their studies and careers. Often people with low self-esteem often isolate themselves by constantly criticizing others to outperform others.

At the same time, people with low self-esteem often focus too much on these disapprovals and rejections, which further weakens their self-esteem and creates a vicious circle. People with low self-esteem are resistant to change because people with low self-esteem can't accept positive feedback from others.

They lack self-confidence and have a defeatist attitude. They are often defensive and lonely. When friends help them through praise and constructive criticism.

Low self-esteem is manifested in self-deprecation, a strong sense of self-boundaries, excessive concern for the eyes of others, etc.

People with low self-esteem also care too much about other people's eyes, and they may not notice you at all, but you feel that others are mocking you, and your every move is being watched. It is difficult for people with few friends and low self-esteem in a small circle to open their hearts to others, except for a few close friends within their own safety range, they don't even have the courage to make friends for other general friends. In addition to the necessary communication, they are by no means willing to take the initiative for the sake of getting closer.

Self-deprecation is self-deprecation that says, the mantra is, I'm really useless, I can't, I hate myself so much, I really can't do self-deprecation and so on.

The reason why they have a strong sense of self-boundary is not that they really need freedom, but that they always feel that others hate them. They are afraid that their presence will be a little troublesome for others, and in order to avoid this, they prefer to be polite and distant.