The importance of cultivating children to do their own things

Appropriately inspire more interactions and collaborate to solve problems

1.There is a repetition of ability

Montessori, a well-known educational psychologist, pointed out that children have repetition before the age of 3.

This means that even though a child has mastered a certain skill, it is also possible that his or her behavior will regress and become incapable again.

Because children at this stage are still mentally immature, their learning ability is still developing and unstable, and it is normal for them to have behavioral regression, not because there is a problem in development.

For example, sometimes the baby will repeat one thing for a period of time, such as opening the door, closing the door and opening the door again, closing the door, repeating it several times, it seems that he has been very proficient in this skill, but after a period of time he is anxious because he can't open the door, shouting at his mother and even crying.

2.Attract attention

The big thing of getting the mother's comfort in a way that attracts attention is something that the baby will do at birth.

It's just that babies in infancy attract attention by crying, and when they are older, they may be disobedient and destructive.

For example, if a child deliberately throws a toy on the ground and calls his mother to pick it up, and the mother asks him to pick it up by himself, he will get upset and even kick the toy.

At this time, if the mother is angry, it will make the baby feel that he has successfully received the mother's attention, so that he will be even worse next time.

3.The normal need for parent-child interaction

Psychologists have found that parent-child interaction is crucial to children's growth, and children can not only gain a sense of security but also improve their sense of well-being in parent-child interaction.

In many cases, children complete parent-child interactions by asking their parents to help.

Obviously I learned to walk, I still need my mother to hug me, I can eat, and I want my mother to feed me.

By doing this, the child can gain the mother's love, and can also be sure that the mother loves himself, and the process itself is a parent-child interaction.

In order to let their children do their own things as soon as possible, many parents unconsciously bring emotions to their children's conversations, or reject their children with righteous words.

The more times I refuse, the more my child feels: Mommy doesn't want to help me. , and even think: Mom doesn't love me Weisen.

This is not only not conducive to the establishment of autonomy, but also greatly destroys the child's sense of security, and is not conducive to the formation of the child's personality.

Therefore, we should be moderate when guiding our children to do their own things.

At the very least, we must ensure that our request does not cause disgust and negative emotions in the child.

Don't always force your child to do this and that, it will develop bad habits after a long time, and without your urging and persecution, he will not take the initiative. To guide the child to do things with interest, he will be more active, guide the child to ask more questions, he has a question to ask you, you will answer, don't talk too much at once, let him explore by himself.

Then parents should cultivate their hands-on ability and accompany them to do things.

Parents should also let their children help them do more things at home, and encourage their children to do their own things.