Why do more and more young people hate relatives during the Chinese New Year?

Nowadays, young people, the concept of relatives is not so strong, especially during the Chinese New Year, it can be said that they are very disgusted with these relatives, because these relatives will ask a lot of personal questions.

I think there are three main reasons, one is that the "relatives" do not have a higher education, but they still like to educate people, the second is that the young people are not the same values as them, and the third is that the quality of the "relatives" is really unpleasant.

Always pointing at you under the guise of being good for you, always showing off your own things and then belittling your family, always loving your own people and looking down on your family. Although only a small number of people do this to the extreme, most of them are more or less some, which will make young people feel helpless and disgusted.

Because many relatives now have a lot of people, it is obviously not their family's business, they still have to talk nonsense, and they have to show off how their own family is and belittle other people's families.

It is really boring for relatives to get together, and when they get together, they smoke, drink, play mahjong, play poker, and play until midnight, so that people can't sleep well.

the acceleration of the pace of society, and the excessive pursuit of economic gain. As a result, family affection is becoming more and more lacking, and traditional Chinese concepts are being challenged by new challenges. This is a by-product of a new era.

When I was a parent, I had a strong sense of family, but now young people are called the "rootless generation" and are becoming more and more estranged from their relatives.

This is a typical Chinese-style relative: with the seven aunts and eight aunts as the main force, they do not see outsiders, do not avoid suspicion, are not afraid of dry mouth, are not afraid of hardships, turn your affairs into my affairs, and do their best to drown you in saliva.

The reason why young people are increasingly disgusted with people like "relatives" is simple!

Now the relationship between young people and relatives is becoming more and more strange. Whenever there are relatives visiting the door, I always want to avoid them and don't want to have too much communication.

The times in which we live have changed so much, and the values of each other are different. And they often want to instill in you their own values. For example:

Take the civil service exam, have an iron job bowl, get married and have children early, and it is better to study and come out to work early. If you engage in some new profession (Internet or something), it will be like a crooked and evil way, and you will not do a proper job. What they think is far from what they think, and sometimes they are on both ends of the spectrum, and there is a feeling that they can't talk.

I like vain comparisons. At every turn, it's who is in my family, how good is my study, how great my work is, and who doesn't leave my house in three sentences, and brings you with me from time to time. Then I will start interrogating you: whether you are married, whether you have bought a house, and whether you will have any interest in the future.

These questions are actually quite private questions, it's embarrassing for you to answer, it's not good if you don't answer, in short, it's better than who mixes. There is a feeling of questioning, which makes you extremely embarrassed and unable to get off the stage. However, they think that it is because they care about you every year, and it is annoying.

I have different values, I like to compare, and I want to instill my own thoughts into you. On the one hand, they want you to follow their model and make you do what they think is right, and they think it's good, and it must be right in terms of their values.

Speaking of which, the reason why young people are getting more and more away from the group of "relatives" is because of the rapid development of science and technology.

Because thousands of years of agricultural society, are natural economy, farmland to cultivate or harvest, need to help, in the past society, relatives have blood relations to help each other has become an advantage, so in order to maintain the social relationship of this clan, the annual visit to relatives has become a traditional custom, and now slowly mechanized agriculture, so that the connection of such social relations is getting weaker and weaker, and the intersection between relatives is becoming less and less, making the emotional identity lower and lower.

Because of the different times, your relatives and elders are not from the same era as us. This "problem" may even "shrink" or disappear as social classes consolidate. But when the channel of class mobility was closed again, young people could only contact relatives in a direct circle, and it was not known whether it would be happy for young people of that era who did not need to be friendly with "hated relatives".

A typical relative is the seventh aunt and the eighth aunt, as soon as they rush through the door, they like to ask this and that, and there is no privacy at all.

I used to be the typical "young man who hated relatives". My father was a farmer's child, cutting wood in the mountains to keep his family, and in order to become a master of learning that traveled the world every year, he stepped forward to the big city. But his siblings were not so lucky, they opened a local shop, and most of them stayed in the mountains.

Since then, my relatives from childhood have not been very kind to me. As far back as I can remember, they came to our house every other day and spoke the language of my homeland that I couldn't understand. Whenever I come, I don't necessarily bring gifts, but they do come and ask for things.

Either help find a job, or eat at home for a long time to "go shopping".

Even during the Chinese New Year, when you visit your home, there will be a lot of relatives, many of whom you don't know, and when you talk to you, in addition to asking you what you do, it is to complain to you and let you go home often. What's worse is that it will also be rude to ask about your personal life. And you can often find melon shells in the living room...I was deeply confused.

Why are they able to rely on their relatives to naturally do all the things that are good for money? Why does the father have to accept as much as he can if he only wants something?

But in fact, not every relative is very annoying. What annoys young people is that they like to use their own values as a benchmark for judging your life and life to judge whether you have done something wrong. Life choices that are inconsistent with what they think are labeled as "unreasonable".

Dink, homosexuals, and lifeless people. There are entrepreneurs, freelancers, and people who give up high salaries to pursue their preferences. In fact, some of them may only care about you out of good intentions, but they don't know which topic to start with when they open their mouths, and sometimes they do need to understand each other.

In the 40 years of reform and opening up, with wisdom, sweat and opportunities, some people have "flown on the branches and become phoenixes", stood out in the changes of the times, and took root in the modern cities that have risen from the ground, and their descendants have also grown up in the glory of modern civilization. So there were two groups of people:

On the one hand, there are people who still retain the style of the agrarian era and hold the idea that "there is strength in numbers" and "blood is above all else" in a society of acquaintances, but they still maintain a kinship relationship with those who have achieved class ascension.

They think that it is natural for the family to be rich first and then rich, so whenever there is a little blood involved, they will come to find you, using kinship as a bargaining chip, following you seems unreasonable, but in fact, the rules have been implemented in the Chinese countryside for thousands of years, they seem to be short-sighted, and they are still thinking about reality, asking why you don't take the civil service exam, don't get married and have children quickly.

On the other hand, there is a new generation of young people who have long been immersed in urban civilization and believe in "the supremacy of rules" and "affection is better than blood", and they are often the beneficiaries of class mobility.

They value their friends more than their relatives, and believe that no matter what the relationship is, it should be based on mutual respect. They affirm multiculturalism and seek a group identity that shares the same values, and they don't understand why they should be kind to relatives who are not only related by blood, but also cause endless trouble.

To be honest, to this day, I still don't like my relatives, and I'm sure many of you will too. No matter how easy it is, no matter how thoroughly the problem is thought through, what is still unavoidable is the embarrassment of returning to my hometown for the Chinese New Year every year, and the unbearable disturbance every time a relative rings the doorbell.

Today's young people hate relatives, bear children, and don't want to go back to their hometowns, in fact, in the final analysis, they are the result of social tears caused by too rapid economic development.

Most young people who dislike their relatives tend to have the following characteristics: their hometown is in the countryside or in small fourth- and fifth-tier cities; Most of the year lives in the first, second and third tier cities of Kino City or abroad; Highly educated.

In less developed areas, relatives are not only related to each other, but more importantly, to form a "community of interests" that is not very close. In these places, when there is a large quarrel between people, the side that does not have the backing of relatives (or has less power than relatives) is more likely to lose. Even in normal times, if you can have a few relatives who are very influential in the local area, you will be more confident to go out and do things.

Young people who have left their homeland do not need the help of their relatives, which is the basis for their resentment of their relatives and their desire to distance themselves from them.

Another obvious factor is the deepening conceptual gap between the two generations, and in the few time they meet, the various greetings from the elders are more likely to make the young people feel embarrassed and chagrined, rather than the warmth of being cared for. Difficulty communicating is a direct cause of young people's aversion to their relatives.

If there is one more point, it is that relatives are not always friendly, and once it comes to the issue of interests, that little bit of fragile blood ties will be immediately broken, and they can do things worse than strangers, and it is strange that people who have been hurt in this way do not resent relatives.

In fact, kinship culture is a product of the poor era. It's like the clan organization in ancient societies in the past. In the era of material scarcity, people's ability to resist disasters and accidents is very weak, and they can only hold together in order to survive, and blood relatives are naturally the first choice for grouping, so in the eyes of the elders at home, I am the elder of your family, and it is an obligation for me to care about you.

However, the development of human society has always been forward, and the more abundant the material conditions, the clearer the boundaries between people and the farther the distance. In the past, the northern countryside could happily eat big pot rice, because no one had two more buns than anyone else, but in Shanghai's tube buildings, even the wires and water pipes had to be pulled separately, and no one needed to take advantage of anyone, and no one else wanted to take advantage of me.

Therefore, the post-80s and post-90s generations who are highly educated and whose material conditions are vastly different from those of the previous generation are at a loss in the face of the ancient traditions of their relatives and culture.

Then let's discuss why the group of "relatives" is becoming more and more disgusted?

Today's young people are very privacy-conscious and have many unique hobbies.

You can do well in your own field with a passion, but some relatives who don't understand reality and have no sense of proportion want to express their "knowledge" and "opinions", and then criticize you for not doing your job.

There are also bear children who go in and out of private spaces and break things, but the parents don't care about them, which makes young people hate relatives even more.

Even my neighbor's uncle would go straight into the teenage girl's room while he slept.

Visiting the door, chatting, and expressing concern are all normal interactions, but in the processGrasp a reasonable sense of proportion and boundariesIt is the way of life for adults, and it is also the courtesy that relatives should have.

Young people often stay with young people, and even if there is a mistake, it is just a joke reminder, and they will not go on the platform to criticize and blame. Therefore, when I go home and meet the guidance of relatives, I get even more bored.

Every young person is a talent who plays well in his own field, but he is nothing in the mouth of his relatives.

They can always find fault with you and educate you self-righteously in the name of being good for you.

It's not that young people don't listen to admonitions, but they don't like those who don't understand to criticize and teach like elders.

On the road to becoming adults, we are more inclined to communicate with each other in respect.

We treat ourselves as adultsHave their own choices and responsibilities

Especially in the open-minded and respectful attitude of your parents, a group of unfamiliar relatives may point fingers at your choices, parents may be uncomfortable, and it is impossible for young people not to be disgusted.

The gossip ability of relatives is also known to everyone, and there is nothing they don't know about the seven aunts and eight aunts.

Faster than reporters, faster than ** rumors.

However, they can only come to gossip and never understand each other's pain. sighs and comforts in person, and uses you as a laughing stock behind your back.

Empathy is hard, but it is a lack of virtue to treat other people's troubles and difficulties as an after-dinner joke

Before I understood my own life, I was anxious to see other people's jokes.

There is also a snobbery, with the shrewdness and scrutiny of a philistine.

I think you're poor and I'm afraid you're rich.

These relatives with low emotional intelligence and low morals are the relatives of the young people, and they cannot cover all relatives and friends. There are still many relatives who are really helping you, anxious about people's difficulties, and sincerely wish you to become better.

I hope that we young people don't live like the kind of people we hate the most.