Very anxious, urgent!! Need a funny version of the suicide note!!!

So I'm not in a very good mood today, I'm about to hang up, I almost left with that black shadow last night, here is a hello first, if I hang up, you don't have to do a big job, don't write any personal biography for me, don't send any wreaths, just scatter my ashes in the Taiwan Strait! The motherland has not yet been reunified, I am very anxious, so let me, an angry young man, become a fish that connects the two sides of the strait, and finally, after my death, the seven yuan, six cents and four cents on my passbook will trouble everyone to help me donate to the Hope Project, and also, help me pay the last month's party dues, the party has cultivated me to become a talent, I have failed the party's hopes, the party has given me a job and given me the opportunity to serve the society, the party has given me knowledge and given me the opportunity to commit crimes, the party has given me a wife and given me the opportunity to experience happiness, and has given me too much, But I didn't solve the Taiwan issue, I didn't have time to calm down the Iraq war, I didn't have a practical special drug for SARS, I didn't solve the problem of agriculture, agriculture and agriculture, and I couldn't lead everyone to succeed in the research as soon as possible. So the party fee so everyone must help me pay it, party, me!

Choked up, tears rained down) Thank you. ......Be sure to remember! ......Be sure to remember ......Be sure to .........Jianchun, I'll leave this matter to you, you still owe me thirty-five yuan and six cents the year before last, it was you and your girlfriend who went on a date, I poured out the money to help, my party fee is eight yuan, and the remaining money is twenty-seven yuan and six cents, you can keep it yourself, count me to invite you, twenty-seven yuan you give to Zhu Mei, I know that she recently bought a house, very short of money, anyway, money has no meaning to me, the right is regarded as poverty alleviation, remember to say that I gave it to her!

Be sure to say that! I'll call her in a while, tell her about it, I'm not worried about you, you won't misunderstand (Jianchun foams at the mouth). ...I think I've already arranged everything, and if I don't hang it anymore, I'm afraid everyone will be the same as Jianchun.

Okay, I'm gone, I'm gone, gone, gone, gone, ......Jianchun, you have to remember, I don't even calculate the interest on the money you owe, if you add the interest of two yuan and nine cents, it should be thirty-eight yuan and five, I have been brothers with you for so many years, I am not a person who cares, you know!

A suicide note from a male suicide victim: A few years ago, I married a widow who had a grown daughter. Later, my father married my wife's daughter.

My daughter became my stepmother, and my father became my son-in-law. Two years later, my wife gave birth to a son for me, who was my stepmother's half-brother, and the son called me dad and I called my son uncle. My daughter gave birth to another son for my father, who is my younger brother, but he has to call me grandpa.

At the same time, I am my wife's husband, and my wife's mother, my stepmother's mother, is my grandmother, so I am my own grandfather. So I thought about death.

Not long ago, I hung up because of violence, ** is my savage girlfriend's little sister. Listen to me slowly.

With the unanimous consent of your adults, I was forced to marry my little sister. She's the most savage hillbilly I've ever met. Not long ago, I bought a lot of big meat dumplings on skewers, and when my little sister saw it, she slapped me in the face and threw down a sentence:

Why not braised monkey meat dumplings on skewers? I said, "Because the big meat dumplings are cheaper than the braised monkey meat dumplings, that dime can buy the rope of the big meat dumplings."

The little sister fainted on the spot.

Your family's problems are indeed more complicated, but if you carefully sort out your thinking, you can still solve it in accordance with the law. I suggest that you find a professional lawyer for detailed consultation and entrust a lawyer to handle it, as it may not be easy for you to handle it yourself.

1.As for the house, if it is not registered in your father's name, then you must have other evidence to prove the fact that your father bought the house;

2.Your stepmother is divorced and is not your father's heir and has no right to claim ownership and inheritance.

3.Your grandfather, you, and your brother are heirs, and there is no stepmother;

4.Your father's estate needs to be verified, and it is difficult for you to do it yourself; Your father's personal debt needs to be verified, and you are liable for repayment within the scope of integration.

If there is a sales contract that must be retrieved, a certificate of transfer can be made. With you and your grandfather alive, he is the legal first heir. Two cars and savings have to be withdrawn, your father is divorced and the woman has no right to take anything.

The problem of arrears depends on your own ability, and it is difficult to say how much you can get back, because you are not the first heir, at most, you and your brother share the property equally to support your grandfather. It is recommended that you find a legal advisor for consultation, it will not cost much.

1. There are three heirs;

2. It will be determined when the creditor asks for repayment;

3. Before the contract is revoked, the house can be divided;

4. What belongs to your father may be divided;

5. The car and the deposit can be divided, and the deposit can go to the bank for inquiry.

In dispute, sue for inheritance analysis.

1. The heirs include your grandfather, you and your brother.

2. Your father's debt needs to be proved by the creditor, otherwise you have the right to refuse. For proven debts, it can be repaid by your father's estate.

3. The sales contract is established in accordance with the law, as long as the seller does not raise objections, the house belongs to the inheritance and has you inherited.

4. The old house belongs to your father's estate and can be inherited according to law.

5. If the woman transfers your father's estate without permission, you have the right to sue for the return of the property, first go to the bank and the DMV to find out the details of your father's property, and then sue the court to settle it.