How to live in a child s home without the feeling of being under the fence

1. Rely on the feelings left by yourself.

It is precisely because Mrs. Wang did not teach her son correctly and treat her daughter well when she was young that there is a situation where "the son is unreliable, and the daughter dare not rely on" has emerged. It is said that it is better to rely on anyone in your later years than on yourself, but you don't know that the love you keep is the blessing of your old age.

If we are filial to the elderly by example when we are young, and treat our children well regardless of gender, children will gradually truly understand the meaning of filial piety from their parents. In this way, in old age, whether you have money or not, the children will not abandon you.

2. Rely on your own body.

There is no filial son in front of the bed for a long time, this sentence is not unreasonable, no matter how filial a child is, there will be times when he is overwhelmed in front of a long-term sick parent. Besides, if you give all your savings to the hospital in your old age because of your body, it is somewhat uneconomical.

Therefore, we should have regular work and rest in middle age, maintain good living habits, so that we can have a healthy body in our old age, do not drag down our children, it doesn't matter how much money you spend, and the happiest thing is to be able to live a flexible and high-quality retirement life.

3. Rely on your own savings.

If you don't have any living savings after retirement and only rely on your retirement salary, you may be a little nervous in your old age. Most people's retirement salary is basically only enough to meet their daily needs, and if they want to travel or encounter some serious illness and other large expenses, this income is far from enough.

Therefore, if you save a certain amount of savings for yourself and your other half when you are young, then you will be much more comfortable when you are old, and you will be able to live with more dignity and security in your old age when there is no open source and can only save resources.

From birth to death, parents and children are inseparable from an important relationship of "interdependence".

However, when we were young, we belonged to the party being taken care of, and we needed more care and help, which is called the obligation of "guardianship" and "support" in formal words.

Wait until: us.

After the age of 18, they are legal adults, with their own rights and the ability to take responsibility, but still rely on their parents.

Until: our career gradually succeeded, they gradually lost their ability to work, and the economic resources became less and less, then our responsibility became greater.

To take care of them more, to care for them more, that is called "support".

This is one of the reasons why we are superior to animals.

From generation to generation, multiply. The main thing is that in the family, everyone does not communicate very well, and there is a gap between each other, which leads you to think that you are dispensable in this family, and you have a feeling of being under the fence. It may be that the sense of existence is relatively low, or it may be that you are a little introverted, and you usually don't communicate with your family much, it may be that you don't feel fully integrated into this family, but your family must also love you very much, you can communicate with your family more and talk more.

Communicate more with your children, or if you don't communicate thoroughly enough, many times you feel that you can endure it and don't care about it, and then give people a wrong perception, because you don't know you, so many times you may take care of your habits and emotions or something. At this time, let go of the past, start over, think clearly about your own direction, and then actively communicate and express it appropriately, and the family atmosphere will naturally be stronger.

It is natural for your own children to raise you, and if you raise him when he is young, he should raise you old, why do you have the feeling of being under the fence, it is your own feeling, and children do not necessarily have that kind of thought.

This is just your personal thoughts and mentality, in fact, the children's home is also their own home, there is nothing to send people under the fence, you have to be a person, the mentality should be good, don't be out of place, you are good to them they will also be good to you, the old people don't like to meddle too much, don't be too stingy, think more about others, work more and talk less, children naturally like you.

Hello, if parents want to live happily in their children's homes, parents must do what they can to work, reflect their own value, talk less, and be less nosy, so that their children feel that their parents are at home, and when they come home from work, they are always warm, and they are not annoyed, they can also kill time, and feel that they are old and useful, what do you say? Hope it helps!

Personally, I feel that this has something to do with my own mentality, of course, if you want to completely get rid of this mentality, the best way is to have your own name on the children's house, or this house is half of the money you paid, so that you will feel better.

If you live in your daughter's and children's house and don't feel like you're under the fence, you have to mingle with your niece, communicate well with your children, and have a good relationship with Jiangsu. It is okay for children to be filial.

This shows that the children's home is not someone else's home, but the home of your closest person is also equivalent to your own home.

When people get old, they often need to be taken care of, so some people live with their children, but sometimes there is always a feeling, as if it is very unrighteous to live in other people's homes, in fact, this is some of the ideas of the elderly themselves, and there is also a situation that the elderly themselves have their own living habits, and they will be subject to some constraints when they arrive at their children's homes, so they also feel very unnatural, in fact, they will slowly change over time. Life is like this, everyone may have Lao Tzu living in their children's house one day. In that case, everyone needs to get along well, and some things need to be understood by each other.

After all, it is a relative, and it can also let you live, which means that the relationship is still okay. However, you feel that there is a kind of sorrow under the fence, which is actually caused by many factors.

1. Your character.

I think you can have this kind of thought, which shows that you are a delicate and sensitive person in your heart, and you often judge other people's words, deeds and faces, and when others say something serious or wrong, you will feel that others are talking about you and feel that they look down on you. As a result, you will feel unhappy, and you will feel a kind of sorrow under the fence.

2. The length of time.

If you only stay at a relative's house for one, two, or a few days, I don't think there's any problem, after all, the relationship with the relative is quite close. However, if you are going to stay for a few months, even the closest relatives will also complain about your free food and lodging.

Even if others don't say it, you yourself will feel inappropriate and dislike yourself. Therefore, if you live in someone else's house, you should pay attention to the time you live, preferably not more than a week.

3. Unable to fit in.

Seeing them get along so well, I feel like an outsider, unable to integrate into their lives, unable to run around and talk as I want, and may also break other people's living habits and lifestyles. Therefore, as an outsider, I feel that I am under the fence and unhappy.

Don't go to other people's homes when they have a lot of things to do, not only can't take care of you, but also can't integrate into their lives and master the rhythm of life.

Anyway, no matter what the reason, living in a relative's house, most people will be cautious, feel very depressed, and even have friction, and will be unhappy in their hearts. Therefore, it is best not to stay at a relative's house for a long time until the last resort, otherwise it may also affect the relationship and affection between relatives.

It means that you have grown up, you don't want to be bound by your family, and you want to live independently, but your parents' home will always be your home, and once you leave, you will feel the warmth of the family, so you should cherish the present.

It may be that your other half is too strong, resulting in your status at home, so you have to listen to each other for everything, and over time there will be this feeling of being under the fence, so that your self-confidence will be completely lost, the best way is to build self-confidence, with self-confidence, this feeling will naturally disappear.

The feeling of being under the fence is because you don't fit into the home and always think of yourself as an outsider. Home is a warm harbor, parents are the ones who give you life, and any conflicts and misunderstandings should be resolved as soon as possible.

It may be that the sense of presence is relatively low, or it may be that you are a little introverted, and you usually don't communicate with your family much, it may be that you don't feel fully integrated into this family, but your parents and family must also love you very much, you can communicate more with your family and talk more.

Maybe it's because you didn't fit into the family well that led you to have such an idea, and there was a gap between family members, and it was a bit of a parasitic feeling.

There should be a reason, otherwise you won't feel this way, just find out the problem, solve the problem, it's mainly a psychological problem, you can also consult a psychologist.

You're about to grow up, and you don't have good food at home, and you don't have a warm bed in the house. Eat an open-mouthed meal. Maybe friends from afar will give you strength. The big scale divides the gold, and the big bowl eats meat.

It may be that you are not good enough, and then your parents have high expectations of you.

That's your own feeling, your family won't treat you as an outsider, it's because you're too sensitive.

If you live in your own home and have this feeling of being under the fence, it can only mean that your family is not harmonious, there is a problem, not to mention that there is a big contradiction, the problem is absolute.

The head of your family, your father and your mother, and your relationship with you must not be harmonious, at least you have opinions about your parents, because every parent, including your parents, of course, hopes that their sons will become dragons and their daughters will become phoenixes. They expect too much from you, and they hate you for you.

So, what you say, or do, makes you very uncomfortable to listen to, or makes you feel very uncomfortable.

So, you don't have a cold heart for your parents, and you always feel that your parents criticize you and blame you all day long, as if you are not their children.

Actually, it's you who worry too much, it's you who think too much.

Every parent loves their children and will pay for their children's future without regrets.

Therefore, you are not sending people under the fence, but your mentality is wrong, as long as you put your mentality right, reflect on your own problems, and integrate yourself into the family well.

aqui te amo。

What are the personality influences of children who have been living with relatives for a long time in childhood or adolescence? 1. Be cautious Since you are living in someone else's house, you can't be as comfortable and comfortable as in your own home, so it is inevitable that you will feel under the fence. If I live in my grandmother's house, it is better to say, if I live in my uncle's house or someone else's family, and everyone is happy, big and small, I will inevitably seem redundant and lonely, and I will naturally fall into a situation under the fence.

This will cause the child to become cautious, look at people's faces, and not feel safe at all. Second, if we have been in a familiar environment for a long time, we will inevitably have a sense of ownership, but if we live in an unfamiliar place for a long time, we need to slowly integrate and understand, not every request will be agreed to by others, but even a refusal will make us feel a sense of distance in the hall. At least in this process, we tend to lose our sense of self and cater to the behavior and lifestyle of the original owner.

Therefore, most of the children who have been living in other people's homes for a long time are people who are not very good at expressing their emotions, and they are good at disguising and suppressing their own demands and personalities. It's more about catering to the needs of others. 3. The extreme lack of love, I believe that when I expressed my experience of sojourn, the reader already experienced it, right?

The child is still young, and no matter how close the person is, it cannot replace the full love and warmth given to the child by the child's parents. Those who have lived with their parents since childhood will believe in the power of love no matter what difficulties they encounter when growing up. And those children who have been away from their parents since childhood and live in other people's homes have a difficult time having a happy love life and experience.

Because it is difficult for them to enter the hearts of others, and they do not believe that they are worthy of what others have. Even if you meet someone you love, you will watch from afar, always in a passive role. Fourth, catering to others Because they are accustomed to looking at other people's faces, people who live in adulthood for a long time are not good at expressing themselves, and are more likely to cater to the preferences of others.

Although, as I grow up and mature, I understand the difficulties of my parents, and naturally I will not go back to blame them, but the passive personality that has been formed, and the "clown" form that is loved by others has become a habit that is easy to change, affecting my mental health every minute. In short, family education is very important for a child, when parents must fully pay attention to the elderly, children's childhood with your company and participation, in order to grow up physically and mentally healthy, the future is worthy of a happy life.