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I don't want you to use your family's money is to want to know that you work hard
I don't need the money for your part-time job because I feel sorry for you
Also, she has a stronger personality
It's not unfamiliar.、You have a good communication with her.
Will find out.
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She is a thoughtful and independent person, on the one hand, she feels sorry for you, and on the other hand, she doesn't want to "owe you anything". You should understand that an independent woman is financially independent . That means you haven't fully captured her heart.
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I also like the AA system, where everyone is an individual, and if he spends your money, you are not equal financially. To put it another way, why don't you spend her money? This is not simply a matter of gender.
In addition, congratulations, this girl really loves you, as long as you are a female compatriot, you should be able to see it.
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She loves you, but she has her own ideas, so she thinks that the AA system will be better for this kind of life test, and you should respect her opinion... So you don't have to think too much about it.
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Maybe your girlfriend doesn't love her as much as you love her. If all the hard-earned money from her part-time job is used by her, she will feel psychologically stressed in case she breaks up in the future.
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Compared to women who have to pay men for everything, your girlfriend is already very good.
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And that's a good thing, because your girlfriend knows how to get along with each other, and more importantly, she hasn't been in a relationship or hasn't been in a relationship a few times, so she's very malleable.
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You need to communicate, and that's how girls start out. She's afraid she owes you something.
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Stupid spend her money and slowly accept your money I've been in a similar situation with you, hehe. Such a girl is actually the best, don't be stupid, haha.
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Girls may feel uncomfortable, but I think it is important to understand it properly. Nowadays, the AA system of getting along with couples has become the choice of most young people. The AA system between couples means that men and women will share their common consumption equally in order to achieve a relatively equal economic relationship.
First, although material things are the basis of love, the amount of money spent by boys is a manifestation of love to a certain extent. But if you get it in a way, the boy will be under a lot of pressure, and the relationship will be cracked because of the material.
From the perspective of girls, boys should not "slap a swollen face and become fat", they should do what they can according to their own economic situation. In love, girls should restrain themselves and don't create too much financial pressure on boys, "taking the initiative to pay is something that they can have the ability to do on special festivals, boys can take the initiative, and girls should also ask less." ”
Second, from the principle of reciprocity in interpersonal communication, relative AA is necessary.
Love is mutual, the soul is connected, the economy is independent of each other, some couples have not yet adopted AA consumption for the sake of face, in response to this psychology, girls need to think from the perspective of boys, try to take the initiative to transfer money to boys before payment, let the other party pay. Boys also need to take care of girls' feelings and accept the other party's kind offers as much as possible.
Third, we must learn to take a correct view of AA consumption.
Couples who propose AA are not stingy, but take into account the financial pressure and ideological burden that the other partner may bear. In my opinion, the AA system is not only a kind of respect, but also a kind of equality. The need for an AA system also depends on the values of both parties.
Different values or motivations for choosing a mate will lead to different attitudes towards this issue. Therefore, couples should strengthen communication with each other, communicate and negotiate with each other, understand each other's economic concepts, reach a consensus, seek common ground while reserving differences, and constantly run in the living habits and consumption habits of both parties, so as to better promote the growth of love. ”
Fourth, finally, if both parties agree, you can also try to build a relationship together**.
Build a small treasury for two people and invest the same amount of money into it on a regular basis. With this approach, you can better understand the consumption habits of both parties in the love stage and better manage the love together.
Conclusion: To sum up, the reality of the AA system between couples is a manifestation of social progress, women's economic independence reflects the improvement of their social status to a certain extent, and the issue of equality between men and women has been greatly improved from the old social concept. Choosing the AA system helps both parties in a relationship to maintain a complete and independent personality, so as to shape a more mature and excellent self.
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Personally, I think that in love, the girl thinks that the boy who is willing to spend money for her may not be the one who loves her, but the person who is not even willing to spend money for her will not be happy together in the future.
Your AA system requirements seem to be very reasonable, in fact, if you ask, the male friends around you will know, the man must pay more money than the woman, and even the woman has not paid at all, so everyone says that it is a luxury for boys to fall in love, because if you can get married, then the money is everyone's, and it is good to say: there is also a situation that when it comes to the final division, the money spent is wasted. But now you find a girl who she pays for when you go to dinner with, and it's almost extinct So, resign yourself to your fate.
Your girlfriend's idea is quite reasonable, at least I think so, if you want to change her concept, it's difficult, because it can be seen from your words that the female friends around your girlfriend also enjoy the benefits paid by their boyfriends, and there will inevitably be a gap in comparison, so instead of paying him AA system, it is better to solve the problem from the root cause and improve your income.
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First of all, the boyfriend's act of making a budget table is commendable in itself. This shows that he is very responsible and planned, and is willing to plan and talk about life with his girlfriend, which can reduce the pressure and friction of life and increase the comfort of life. Of course, the AA system is also a very common family living model, which is conducive to both parties to bear the living expenses together and avoid the financial burden of one of the parties.
However, there are two possible reasons why you feel uncomfortable:
1.The budget table is not fairly distributed.
Even in the case of the AA system, the budget table should be based on the actual needs and financial resources of both parties, rather than simply splitting the expenses equally. If one of the spouses has a higher income or needs to bear more household expenses, then a reasonable budget allocation is a must. Therefore, if you feel that the travel fraud budget table is not adjusted for your actual needs and financial situation, you need to communicate with your boyfriend to discuss how to make a reasonable budget.
2.Relationship problems.
A live-in relationship requires mutual support and trust from both partners, and if your boyfriend doesn't take your feelings and needs into account when allocating the budget, it can hurt your feelings. Therefore, you need to communicate openly and honestly with your boyfriend and let him know what you think and feel. Through communication, we can increase mutual understanding, trust and love, and build a good family relationship together.
Overall, you don't feel overly selfish, but you need to think deeply about AA and family life together. Through communication and a reasonable budget allocation, you can enhance your relationship with your boyfriend and improve the happiness of family life.
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When a girlfriend proposes an AA system, there are a few steps you can take to deal with the problem:
Communication: Communicate openly and honestly with your girlfriend about your feelings and opinions. Express your thoughts on the AA system and your thoughts on contributing and sharing financial responsibility. Try to be calm and rational in order to have an open conversation.
Understand the other person's position: Try to understand why your girlfriend is proposing the AA system. It can be due to various reasons such as personal values, financial situation, principle of equality, etc. Respect each other's opinions and positions and seek a mutually acceptable solution.
Find compromises: Discuss and explore other ways to share economic responsibility. Consider developing a fair and workable budget plan that shares the costs according to the financial capabilities and needs of both parties. It can also be paid in a rotational manner or flexibly apportioned according to the specific situation.
Mutual negotiation: On the basis of communication and consultation, find a mutually acceptable solution. It is important to ensure that the views and interests of both parties are balanced and respected.
Re-evaluate your relationship: If you have a big disagreement about how to dress up economically, you need to re-evaluate whether your relationship and values align. Economic values are one of the important values that need to be balanced in a relationship that is acceptable to both parties.
The most important thing is to establish an open and respectful line of communication where each other's perspectives and needs can be heard and understood. Find solutions that work for both parties to build a healthy and balanced relationship.
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The way in which costs are shared in a common-law relationship is a common issue, and everyone may have different views and preferences regarding financial arrangements and how to share them. If you feel uncomfortable, there must be your reasons, there are many reasons for a girl, such as how much he loves you, or you treat him as your future husband, or you just don't want to pay this money, etc., as an outsider, I can't judge whether you are selfish, but I think people are mutual.
Communication and understanding: Try to communicate openly and honestly with your girlfriend. Get to know her concerns and perspectives on this cost-sharing approach, while sharing your own thoughts and reasons. By understanding the other side's position, it is better to find a solution that is acceptable to both parties.
Fairness and Balance: The cost-sharing approach should be fair and balanced, taking into account the financial capacity and financial situation of both parties. A reasonable apportionment scheme can be discussed and developed to ensure that both parties feel fair and comfortable.
Negotiate a compromise: If your girlfriend insists that you go all-in, try to negotiate a compromise. For example, you can agree to share a portion of the overhead while you are responsible for the rest.
Or you can create a specific budget plan that takes into account the financial situation and affordability of both parties.
Respect for personal values: Everyone's financial perceptions and values may be different. Respect each other's perspectives and values, and try to find a balance that meets the needs of both parties while respecting each other's wishes.
The most important thing is to find a solution that is acceptable to both parties through open communication and compromise. This requires understanding and tolerance on both sides to establish a healthy and stable financial arrangement and maintain balance and harmony in the relationship.
You should have a showdown with him, make it clear, if she wants to hang Kaizi, you don't need to keep her, if you are sincere, you won't spend your money like this, if you don't tell her, she thinks you're a big money, don't hold on to the hat that doesn't match it.
You should ask yourself, do you like her, if you like it, you have to take the initiative, you have to fight for yourself, in fact, it's not that she doesn't have you in her heart, and it's a problem of girls' face (girls are very thin-skinned, if you are too active, you will think that boys think she has a problem, so active, is there any past, has you talked about a lot of friends.........Wait, too many scruples). >>>More
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Since you love her, what is there to treat and not treat, and it is not her chasing you. Such a girl is really temperamental!! >>>More