Should a woman have children in a divorce? Who is generally awarded to divorced children?

Having children has a certain impact on remarriageLiu Xia, a national second-level psychological counselor: I personally think that from a realistic point of view, some of the concerns of some group members are reasonable, a woman is divorced, many are over 30 years old, if you live with children, many men will think, why should you help you raise children? Therefore, if the man's economic conditions are better than the woman's, and he also loves the child, and the woman considers it from the perspective of remarriage, she can let the child live with the man.

However, if the woman's financial conditions are better, she can also choose to take care of the children by herself, but financial independence is a necessary prerequisite. In fact, if the economic conditions of both parties are similar and the man also loves the child, I think it is better to hand over the child to the man to raise, and the child who grows up with the father is relatively more sunny. And if the woman remarries with children, in China, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

It is already a difficult problem to deal with, and together with the problem of children, it may exacerbate family conflicts.

Some people think that if a man loves a woman, he should also love that woman's children. However, it is ideal. When a man is pursuing a woman, he will definitely say sweet words, but once they really get along, some realistic factors will emerge.

And letting the child live with the man does not mean that the woman does not love her child, the woman can visit regularly to make the child feel that even if the parents are divorced, they still love him (her). Of course, the above is only a general phenomenon, not absolute. For example, some men's families have a patriarchal mentality, and the daughter follows the mother or better; There are also men who have bad behaviors such as domestic violence, and they should also be specifically considered.

The choice depends on individual factors

Hui Xin, a national second-level psychological counselor: Nothing is absolute, except for the bottom line of the law and the moral standards agreed by the society, the handling of things depends on each person. Each person's handling of specific problems is determined by the comprehensive result of his long-term outlook on life, values, character, and personality.

How each person deals with their children's problems depends on their attitude towards their children and towards themselves. Some people attach great importance to their remarriage, and in their understanding of marriage, they think that children are an obstacle to remarriage, so they give children to each other; Some people are reluctant to have children, so they first leave their children to watch, rest assured, and then consider remarriage on this basis; Some people think that dealing with problems should be based on the premise of benefiting the child, but what is the evaluation system that is beneficial to the child? Personally, I believe that the degree of perfection in handling a matter is related to the individual's personality, character, cultivation, and her actual situation.

Advocate respect for everyone, less accusation, more understanding.

Should a woman have children in a divorce?

I once asked some divorced women why they had to bring their children with them. If you were given another chance to choose, would you still be like that? I have also asked some single, unmarried girls, if one day your marriage has problems, would you be willing to take children?

Different people will give you different answers. Women, if you were divorced, would you bring children to live with? Why?

Wenwen Age: 27 years old Occupation: English teacher.

Opinion: Children are a responsibility.

I would definitely live with my children, and sometimes children are even more important to women than husbands. The comfort and happiness that a child brings to a mother is greater than anything else. For yourself, children are also a responsibility.

As for the economic pressure and remarriage in the future, like I was taken by my mother and lived a good life, I Ching has a saying that "if you are poor, you will regret it, and if you regret it, you will have no disaster". With a certain amount of pressure, you will be more motivated, although it is a little harder, but the ending is happy.

Mocha Age: 33 Occupation: Self-employed.

Opinion: Mother's love is greater than father's love, and I can't let my child have another failed childhood.

I will bring my child to live with me, and I will do my best to raise him and her well. As for the influence of children on remarriage, I personally feel that I will choose to live with my children. If no one wants to accept my child, as a woman, if a child is given life, she should be responsible for him, there are many reasons why two people cannot live together, but children are their own choice, the product of two people's relationship is sublimated.

Therefore, the last thing a woman should abandon when she is divorced is her children. And for children, mother's love is greater than father's love. Since my marriage failed, I can't let my children have another failed childhood.

Although it is incomplete, I will also fulfill the obligations of a mother. As for remarriage? I probably won't think about it anymore, I'm not married yet, and now it's easy to get a fear of marriage.

The "should not" have children for a woman in a divorce you proposed, this "should not" actually make people ambiguous: first, whether she should have children when she knows that she wants a divorce is usually commonly known as "whether she should have children"; Second, if the husband and wife have given birth to one or more children during the marriage, when the husband and wife divorce, whether one party has to assume the obligation of legal guardianship of the two children or one of the children, which can also be commonly known as "whether it should be wanted".

The so-called question of "whether to have children in divorce" is, legally, actually a question of who will take custody of the children after the divorce. It means that from the day the child is born, no matter whether the child's parents "should have" or "should not" when they divorce, the child will always be the child of the divorced party and can never be changed.

Knowing the above facts, then, that is to say, the question of whether a woman should become the guardian of the child after divorce. In general, when a husband and wife divorce, children under the age of two are in the custody of their mothers in principle; For children between two years and under ten years old, the court will decide who should be the guardian of the children according to the actual circumstances of the divorced man and woman, and from the perspective of being more conducive to raising the children; For children over the age of 10, the child must also be consulted. Of course, I'm talking about it from a judicial point of view.

From the perspective of daily life, whether it is a woman or a man, not becoming the guardian of the child is undoubtedly a little convenient for the man and woman to remarry in the future, that is, to start a new family. But as far as traditional "common sense" is concerned, if a woman does not even "want" the child she has born, she will also be accused by society of the lack of motherhood of the child's mother. One of the aspects that praise a mother as "great" is her selfless love for her children.

Think about it, how can a mother who doesn't even want children be called "great" and "selfless"? Of course, there are special exceptions to the situation where it is impossible to afford the support of the child.

If you understand the above, the answer to "should a woman have children after divorce" should be considered clear. What do you think?

Children are their own, and many people have children, and they all entrust their lives to the growth of their children, but some people regard children as a burden, and will think that children are a heavy burden after divorce.

In fact, having children after a divorce is indeed a big burden, and if you want to remarry, then having children is a particularly troublesome thing, especially for boys. I have a female colleague who lives with her son after the divorce, and many people have pursued her, but she has never said anything.

I asked my colleague if I really didn't want to be looking? My colleague told me very frankly that when I divorced, my son was a family relationship that I couldn't give up, but if I remarried, who would treat my child as my own? I'm afraid that my child will be wronged in the future.

In this way, their mother and son have been living alone, knowing that the child went to college and got married, the female colleague found a partner.

Some people care a lot about whether the other party has children when they remarry, in fact, I think that most people with children are generally loving and conscientious people, no matter how handsome or beautiful a person is, but he is willing to give up his own children, and can let his children call others Mom and Dad, do you dare to ask for such a person?

See if you have the ability to create a good living environment for your child, if you have the ability, then you must take your child with you, if your own life is not guaranteed, then leave your child to the party with good conditions. Although it is painful to think about children, at least you will suffer yourself, and you don't have to involve your children to suffer with you. I'm like this, I don't have my own house, I don't have a fixed income, I can only leave the child to him, although I am very unwilling, but think about the child suffering with me, forget it.

Go and see her when you want to, and save some money to do something for your child's future.

But nothing compares to my children as a mother.

I can do nothing, but I have to have my children. Conversely, for the sake of my children, I can't do nothing.

Everyone's situation is different, the situation is different, and there is no wrong answer to this question.

However, if you are a mother and divorced, no matter how difficult it is, please bring your own children. When you are born, you have to be responsible for your child. It is better for a child to follow his mother than to be with his father.

When it comes to children, it varies from person to person.

I think you have to consider a lot of factors, and you have to weigh them in terms of your own economy and spirit.

First of all, the child follows you, giving you more financial pressure, since your ex-husband (let's put it this way) is unemployed, then he can say that he has no income and is not able to pay child support, and there is no legal reason to say that the child's mother is still alive and has the ability to work, but the child's grandmother will raise him. So theoretically, you can ask him to pay for the child's support, but firstly, this fee may not really give you a lot according to the local level, on the other hand, you have already felt the difficulties of practical operation.

And then, with this child, there will be friction between you and your boyfriend in the future, he also has a child, and you also have a child, this kind of reconstituted family is difficult to absolutely flatten, many families break up again for the sake of children, because children may also fight, if it is a friend or relative, or a brother or sister, then it may be a fight and forget it, and still have a happy play, but if it is a family without blood relationship, there will definitely be contradictions in the bumps. Of course, your boyfriend is a good person, and he said that he would be good to this child, and he was sincere, but many things in the future are not controlled by people's feelings, right? So in society, it is true that it is more difficult for women with children to remarry than women without children, and there is also this factor in it.

Also, you have to consider your own feelings, can you guarantee that you will not care about how hard and tired you are in the future? Can you guarantee that you won't regret it and won't be angry with your child? There are also similar mothers, because the pressure of life is too great, they feel that their ex-husbands or society are too unfair to them, and because their mentality cannot be adjusted well, they will be psychologically unbalanced, and such a state is not good for themselves and their children.

Especially your own character will sway from side to side, difficulties are in front of you, there are many people who tell you: don't take the child, then you really can't do it very firmly, after all, you only got a little money in 3 months, and you can't be angry and throw the child to him, so in the next 3 years or even 13 years and 23 years, you really won't regret it?

Decide for yourself, children.

There are clear rules on the issue of maintenance.

The Supreme People's Court issued the Notice on Several Specific Opinions on the Handling of Child Support Issues in Divorce Cases by People's Courts

When hearing divorce cases, people's courts shall follow articles 29 and 30 of the "Marriage Law of the People's Republic of China" and relevant legal provisions to properly resolve the issue of child support, proceeding from the interests of the children's physical and mental health, protecting the children's lawful rights and interests, and taking into account the specific circumstances of both parents, such as their ability to raise and their conditions for support. On the basis of the above principles, combined with trial practice, the following specific opinions are put forward:

1. Children under the age of two generally live with their mothers. If the mother has any of the following circumstances, she may live with the father:

1) Suffering from incurable infectious diseases or other serious diseases, and the children are not suitable to live with them;

2) There are conditions for raising children who do not fulfill their obligation to support them, and the father requires the child to live with him;

3) The child is unable to live with the mother due to other reasons.

2. Where both parents agree that a child under two weeks old will live with the father and there is no adverse impact on the healthy growth of the child, it may be permitted.

3. For children over the age of two years, both the father and the mother request to live with them, and one of the following circumstances may be given priority:

1) Have undergone sterilization or have lost their fertility due to other reasons;

2) The child has lived with the child for a long time, and the change of living environment is obviously detrimental to the healthy growth of the child;

3) There are no other children, and the other party has other children;

4) The child lives with him/her, which is beneficial to the child's growth, but the other party suffers from an infectious disease or other serious disease that cannot be cured for a long time, or has other circumstances that are not conducive to the child's physical and mental health, and it is not suitable to live with the child.

4. The conditions for the father and the mother to raise the child are basically the same, and both parties require the child to live with the child, but if the child has lived alone with the grandparents for many years, and the grandparents request and have the ability to help the child take care of the grandchild or grandchild, it may be considered as a priority condition for the child to live with the father or mother.

5. In the event of a dispute between the parents over the age of 10 over that a minor child over the age of 10 should live with his or her father, the child's opinion shall be taken into account.