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It's a family issue. How to reconcile the contradictions between the two generations. One is to think carefully about why this is the case.
Find out the cause and solve the problem in a targeted manner. You can understand the situation through your son's classmates, and you can go to your son's location to communicate with your son face-to-face and solve the problem practically. We can only talk on paper, and we have to figure out how to deal with the specific situation ourselves.
It shows that there is a lack of trust between you, and you both belong to the category of people who do not have high emotional intelligence. You have to think about it from the other side's point of view, and it may be better.
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That means your son doesn't have any feelings for you. He is also a child who does not pay attention to family affection and family values. You can ask him about his current life and work.
Let's talk about the changes in his psychology. That's it. You have to be like an egg turning into an egg.
Slowly let him know the existence and affection of the family.
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If you don't take the initiative to contact you, maybe you are new to the society and still trying to get familiar with the work stage, maybe it will be fine after a while. You can take the initiative to contact the other party and ask about the situation to support and help your child solve this problem.
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Children graduate and work in other places, it may be too busy and have no time to contact you, or it may be that the children or carelessly ignore the feelings of their parents, as parents, we should also be considerate of children, take the initiative to contact them, and often care about them.
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If your son doesn't take the initiative to contact you for a long time, you can take the initiative to contact your son, after all, it's your biological child, don't be too entangled, communicate more, and form a habit.
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Since he is his own son.
You can sit down and find a suitable opportunity for the two of you to have a good conversation.
See if there's any misunderstanding.
Blood is thicker than water, and you are his dearest.
I'm sure it's going to get better.
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There are several reasons for this, and it is likely that you are too busy at work. It may not be expressive, or it may be used to your initiative. You also have to connect with him in your own way. After all, he is your bloodline and the continuation of your life.
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Then only you take the initiative to contact him. Since I don't contact you, there must be a reason. Any contradictions between relatives can be resolved.
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Maybe he is very busy, you can take the initiative to contact him and ask him to call ** to report his safety from time to time, saying that you are very concerned about him at home.
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Is there any misunderstanding or contradiction between you? If there is, you can have a frank and in-depth exchange to resolve the contradictions, after all, they are their own children, and there are no contradictions that cannot be solved.
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Not all of them now! Basically, most children want to get away from their parents when they grow up, after all, they are also older, and they will have their own lives in the future, so you will take the initiative to contact him if you don't contact you
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Under normal circumstances, this situation does not occur, and it means that there is something wrong with your relationship, and you should find the reason and strengthen communication.
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This depends on how much you have always cared about it, find a time to take the initiative to ask him, his son, there is nothing that cannot be said.
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This seems to be a relatively common phenomenon.
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If that's the case, I think you should go to the place where he works and go and have a look. See how he is?
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Your son has graduated from college, and he should be twenty-one or twelve years old, and there are only two reasons why he doesn't want to go out to work at this age.
First, he has not learned to be independent since he was a child, and he has just entered the society from school, and this change of identity makes him even more overwhelmed, so he is like a snail, he just wants to retract into a safe shell, so he refuses to work, in this case, because the personality change is not something that can be completed in a day or two, so you must first learn to let go, encourage him to go out, you can first find a simple job that can cope with the transition, and slowly let him grow.
Second, he has his own ideas, maybe he is recuperating, or he is preparing for various qualification exams to increase the bargaining chips for finding a job, in this case, you can talk to him first to see what he thinks, learn to communicate with the child, if his ideas are mature, you might as well support him.
In the eyes of many adults, their children have finally graduated from college, and they should go out to break through, either employment or entrepreneurship, which is the normal path that should be integrated after graduation.
However, he finally looked forward to his child's graduation, but he stayed at home all day, although he didn't necessarily wear Anta, but he just didn't take the "ordinary road" and became an otaku, making adults worried, depressed, disappointed and even desperate.
There are many reasons behind this problem in modern society, which has slowly evolved from a small probability event to a high probability event, but to find out the solution, only by finding out the reasons behind it can we prescribe the right medicine and solve it.
First of all, it is necessary to distinguish the type of house, whether it is a positive or negative house. If you want to take a break after graduating from college, make adjustments and plans for your life, and then prepare to do a big job, this belongs to a positive house; If you deny yourself all day long, you are at a loss, you can only passively escape, and you can anesthetize yourself with sleep, games, smoking, alcohol and even drugs, then it must belong to a negative house. What we need to solve is the negative house.
Secondly, there are many reasons for negative homesickness, such as: emotional frustration, employment frustration, laziness, social fear, and self-esteem injury. Find out the specific cause and prescribe the right medicine.
Finally, adults should put themselves in the child's position to think, have the ability to help the child counsel, or with the help of a psychologist to help the child counsel, so that he understands that no matter how big the difficulty is only temporary, it is a small episode in many difficulties in life.
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Answer: It is normal for children to be in adolescence, rebellious, and not want to work according to common sense. Parents should have more exchanges of ideas with their children to understand the specific reasons why their children do not want to look for jobs, and then prescribe the right medicine. Don't put too much pressure on your child, be nagging, motivate, worry less, and bless more!
Ways to change your child's mind:
1. Respect and understand children. Every child is a genius, in addition to some common things between children, there are certain differences, differences are personality, but also different, so can not generalize, simply compare others with their own children, because there is no comparison, not to mention that the child itself is very disgusted with this, so parents should learn to respect the child's personality, ideas and feelings, this is the minimum;
2. Be good at understanding children. Replace rigid preaching with encouragement and care, continue to learn effective communication techniques, try to enter the child's psychological channel, understand the child's real feelings and psychological development characteristics, learn to trust and support the child, and be a caring person for the child;
3. Evaluate children correctly. Conform to the law of children's growth, protect children's emotions and feelings, and empathize with them, because the negative and pessimistic emotions and behaviors shown by children do not mean that children are bad, and it does not mean that children will achieve nothing in the future, it is just a temporary phenomenon, a kind of wandering and struggling in confusion, every child has to go through this stage on the road to growth, as parents have no choice but to face and accept;
Fourth, divert attention. Children can only change if parents change.
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If your son has been reluctant to look for a job after college, it is also very good for parents to give their son the right guidance, ask for their son's opinions, or persuade their son to learn a skill.
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First find the cause and prescribe the right medicine. There are many reasons why children stay at home, if they are positive, how to support them, such as, during the child's study, they are under pressure, they want to rest and adjust for a few days, or they want to make a clear plan for their life and career. If it is a negative reason, such as addiction to games, smoking and drinking, it is necessary for parents to come forward to adjust, it is really not possible, ask relatives and friends to come forward, move with affection, know with reason, as a college student, I believe he will soon make a difference.
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Don't provide your son with the usual living expenses, let the child know that if he doesn't work, he won't have living expenses, and you can urge him to go out and find a job.
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What is the reason why you don't want to look for a job, and only by knowing the reason can you prescribe the right medicine. It may be because of some social phobia and fear of socializing; It is also possible that it has not yet transitioned from the role of a student.
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Explain that your son may not be well adapted to society. You should guide your children out and find work. Let your child believe in his or her own abilities.
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He has been reluctant to go out and look for a job, so you have to ask him if he is unhappy with his job or if he is waiting for a job offer. Don't be suspicious of each other, communicate more.
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You should communicate with your son and tell him that it is time for him to go out on his own and be self-reliant and solve his own financial problems with his own hands.
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Then it should directly cut off his economic **, let him take on the responsibility that a man should bear, no one is responsible for raising him for a lifetime.
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My son hasn't been out to work for five years and can't communicate, what should I do?
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As parents, we all hope that our children can grow up independently and become an excellent person, but some children are addicted to games, unwilling to work, and afraid to sleep, which is a manifestation of evasion and withdrawalAs a parent, don't use scolding to hit your child in this matter, you should use scientific education to guide it.
So, what exactly should we do?
Every child is a genius, in addition to some common things between children, there are certain differences, differences are personality, that is, the place where they are different, so we can't generalize, we shouldn't simply compare our children with others, because there is no comparison at all, so we as parents must learn to respect children.
Business is still the law of growth, protect the child's emotions and feelings, and empathize with it, because the child shows negativity and pessimism, emotions and behaviors do not mean that the child is not good, and it does not mean that the child will achieve nothing in the future, it is only a temporary phenomenon, struggling in a kind of busyness and row, every child has to go through this stage on the road to growth.
We should tell our children that entering social work is a stage of life that everyone must go through, and it is a sign of responsibility for themselvesIn order to be able to survive better in society, work is a must
Finally, I think parents should lead by exampleThe parents themselves are working, and work is an inescapable obligation and the foundation of future survival, so it should not be escaped, but should be faced positively.
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1. Respect and understand children. Every child is a genius, in addition to some common things between children, there are certain differences, differences are personality, but also different, so can not generalize, simply compare others with their own children, because there is no comparison, not to mention that the child itself is very disgusted with this, so parents should learn to respect the child's personality, ideas and feelings, this is the minimum;
2. Be good at understanding children. Replace rigid preaching with encouragement and care, continue to learn effective communication techniques, try to enter the child's psychological channel, understand the child's real feelings and psychological development characteristics, learn to trust and support the child, and be a caring person for the child;
3. Evaluate children correctly. Conform to the law of children's growth, protect children's emotions and feelings, and empathize with them, because the negative and pessimistic emotions and behaviors shown by children do not mean that children are bad, and it does not mean that children will achieve nothing in the future, it is just a temporary phenomenon, a kind of wandering and struggling in confusion, every child has to go through this stage on the road to growth, as parents have no choice but to face and accept;
Fourth, divert attention. Children can only change if parents change.
5. Tell children that entering social work is a stage that everyone must go through, which is also a manifestation of responsibility for their own lives, and that work is necessary in order to better survive in society.
6. Parents lead by example and teach by example. Parents themselves are working, and the inescapable obligation of the studio is also the foundation of future survival, so it should not be escaped, and should be faced bravely and positively.
In the face of a more severe employment environment this year, college students cannot wait. Waiting for policies, waiting for exams, and waiting for opportunities are all the next policy. If you graduate this year, you fail to find a job, start a business does not work, and you don't know where to go, you might as well put down your face, bravely face the eyes of the world, the society is twisted into a rope, and there will be more and more self-reliant college students.
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Children go to college, find a job, and get married, these three things are very concerned for parents. Some children are reluctant to go out to work after graduating from college, if there is such a child at home, then it is necessary for parents to have a good talk with their children, parents want to change their children's minds as soon as possible, you can use the following methods to try.
1. See if the child is frustrated because the child is in school all the year round, and does not understand what is going on in society, so the idea is often very naïve, there may be children who are too simple in their thinking and cannot accept the complexity of society, resulting in them not wanting to go out to work, such children parents should first have a good talk with their children, encourage them to face difficulties bravely, and society is not all places are complicated, you can let children change a simple work environment. Let him adapt a little bit from simple to complex, and the effect will be much better.
2. See if it's because the family spoils the child too much, and some children may be because they are too ambitious and want to have a good job in one step, and such children simply don't work because they have been hitting a wall in the process of finding a good job. In fact, this has a lot to do with family education, at this time the child's parents should persuade the child to be down-to-earth and start from little by little. If this is the case, parents should adjust their attitude towards their children, force them to get out of their comfort zone, to find their own value, and find psychological counselors for psychological counseling, so that children realize that it is wrong not to go out to work, and parents are unable to take care of their children for a lifetime, so that they can realize the mistakes in their own thoughts, and create life with their own hands.
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