How do parents love their children so that they don t spoil their children too much?

It is important to care for your child and give it love, but it does not mean that you have to meet all your children's requirements. The result of this will inevitably be, as the French thinker Rousseau said, "Do you know what method is sure to make your child an unfortunate person?" This method is to follow 100 times.

In today's society, most families belong to the "2+2+1" family structure. This special family structure makes many grandparents or grandparents unconsciously revolve around the "little sun" - the child. The child is the treasure of the family, the child's every move, smile and smile affect the nerves of each family member, who dares to provoke the child to be unhappy, it is simply "the world's disapproval", quasi-to attract "dry fingers".

Because of this, the child is precious, so all kinds of requirements for the child, whether it is right or wrong, reasonable or not, are met. In the long run, the child has figured out the temper of his parents, and gradually formed a stable "want to give" motivation stereotype, "don't give", then a coquettish cry and three troubles, keep "hand to catch". Because children know that adults are most afraid of these three tricks.

In order to give children more true love, it is recommended that parents: the so-called true love of parents for children must meet the following principles: First of all, at any time, we must always care about the growth of children, care about children's health, emotions, and spirit.

Whether you are proud or disappointed, complacent or anxious, successful or unsuccessful, you must insist on loving your children. Let your child feel that you care about him. Support him, you are his solid backing, no matter what happens, you will not change your love for him, let alone abandon him.

Second, pay attention to the child's expression and behavior. Carefully and timely discover and answer children's confusion and problems, patiently listen to children's voices, encourage children to express their joys, sorrows, and sorrows, help them solve problems, and participate in sharing their happiness. Parents should try to avoid interfering with a cheerful child, and you should never take a sad child lightly, even if he is reluctant to talk for a while, talk to him when he calms down.

Sad children crave love the most. Again, true love is not unprincipled love. Although the education of children should be based on encouragement and praise, the places that should be criticized must be criticized, as long as you explain the reasons for criticism and grasp the size and weight of criticism, children will accept it.

Unconditional love regardless of principles is not true love, but only "doting", excessive care, excessive protection, all belong to this category.

While spoiling, the child is doing it wrong. It should also be pointed out and corrected. If it is repeated, it must be punished proportionately.

Many parents know that they should not spoil their children too much, which is not good for their development. However, many times, "I don't know the true face of Lushan, only because I am in this mountain." "Parents are already doting on their children, but they can't notice it.

In fact, just look at whether there are any of the following behaviors, and if there are any, it means that you are very doting on your child.

1. Favoritism towards children.

There are always some parents who unconsciously stand on their children's side when they have conflicts with others. They always feel that their children are perfect, that they cannot make mistakes, and that it is others who are wrong. Even if you sometimes know that your child is wrong, you will always say it lightly

The child is still young, nothing remarkable.

In fact, these parents don't know that their doting behavior will only make their children unscrupulous about making mistakes, and they will not restrain their behavior in the future, which may eventually lead to big mistakes and regret it later.

2. Don't let your child do things on their own.

According to statistics, more than 60% of primary school students in big cities do not know how to do housework. And many of them are not unwilling to do it, but their parents are unwilling to let them do it, because these parents feel that their children are focused on schoolwork, and doing housework or other things is a waste of time.

Under the guidance of this misconception, children will become industrious and indistinguishable. Many people are accustomed to their parents dressing, feeding, carrying school bags, and so on. When they grow up, they will become legendary high-scoring and incompetent children, and they have no ability to take care of themselves at all, so how can they gain a foothold in society?

3. Agree to all the child's requests.

Nowadays, many families are in the "421" model, that is, there are 4 elderly people in the family, 2 adults to 1 child. Therefore, other people are responsive to the child's requirements, and even rush to help him meet them.

It is conceivable that a child who comes out of such a family can easily feel that he is the center of the universe and that everyone around him must meet his requirements, but it is impossible to do so in society in the future. So when these children grow up, they will run into walls everywhere and be ruined by the doting behavior of their families when they were young.

4. Calling children too tired.

Not long ago, my colleague Zhang Wei called ** to his daughter who was in high school, and the first sentence at the beginning was: "Little baby, I miss you so much......."Immediately, the people around him had goosebumps, and at the same time, they were worried about his doting style.

Don't underestimate this kind of title, for children who are too tired and too sweet, it can only be appropriate when they are young, when they grow up, parents had better change their names to Wang Shankou, which is a recognition of respect and growth. After hearing this, the child will also acquiesce in his heart that he has grown up, and demand himself according to the rules of society and the words and deeds that should be done. Otherwise, it will make them feel that they have not grown up yet, and they can still be willful, which is not conducive to growth.

Therefore, in order to better educate children, parents must have a suitable title.

In short, when children are young, their parents' behavior has a very profound impact on them, and if you don't want to ruin your child's future because of doting, it's best not to have the above 4 behaviors.

1. Take care of your children. Many parents can't help their children to be wronged and bullied, so when their children have conflicts with others, no matter whether they are right or wrong, parents will always stand on their children's side to blame other people's children, and ignore their own children's mistakes. Many parents always use their children's small age as an excuse to find suitable reasons for their children's mistakes, which leads to their children being unscrupulous when they make mistakes.

This act of favoritism is typical of doting.

2. Take care of everything. A lot of children come to their mouths to eat, and all the parents are ready for their children. Children who grow up in this environment will only become arrogant and selfish, but they will not have the ability to adapt socially and hands-on.

This way of doting on children will ruin the child's future, and parents should be careful. Sakura is thick.

3. Be responsive. One of the most typical ways for parents to spoil their children is to agree to all the requests of their children. Children want toys, parents buy them unconditionally; Children want money, parents also take out their wallets and so on, this kind of responsive way will make children become lawless, resulting in children without any financial management concepts, and frustration is not strong.

It is good to love children, but spoiling children without principles will only ruin our children.

The above 3 ways are the most common ways for parents to spoil their children, so parents must be vigilant, do not spoil their children too much, and use scientific education methods to protect the healthy growth of children.

Parents take care of all the things for their children, do not let their children do housework, and decide their lives for their children, which is a manifestation of doting on their children. Spoiling is a shackle for children, and many parents don't know what doting is. But they always hang their love on their children.

Always give your child special treatment. Children can be easily satisfied, they put all the good things in front of the child, that is, let the child enjoy it alone, and tell the child that the parents don't like it. And such children will become particularly selfish, and the children will ask for what their parents give, develop a character that does not know how to cherish, and do not have the spirit of hardship and hard work when doing things.

Sometimes the family often focuses on the child, all the energy revolves around the child, and then the child is the center of their world. It's obviously a little thing that can be done, but under the behavior of these children, parents only think about their children in everything they do. Children must be allowed to eat and live normally, and children must have rules when playing, and do not let children develop a character that they can do whatever they want.

Because the child himself is not self-motivated, he is not self-disciplined when doing things. Parents must have a united front in the education of their children, rather than educating and protecting their children one by one. Don't coax your child to eat or sleep, let your child finish things in principle.

The process of educating children should be premised on education, not restricting children in the name of protection. Some parents do not let their children go out alone when educating their children, because they are afraid that their children will be harmed, but such behavior will lead to defects in the child's personality.

After many children fall and bump into each other, parents will be very worried, and they will also develop their children into that cowardly character. As soon as the child cries, the parents will accommodate the child in various ways, causing the child to become ruthless and willful. In fact, the child is born with a blank slate, and the family's education will give the child a different color.

It is necessary to let children grow up in a healthy family education, rather than becoming lawless under love.

There is no principle, no bottom line, will unconditionally compromise with the child, as long as the child has requirements, parents will be unconditionally satisfied, and there is no strengthening of the concept of right and wrong education, so the child does not have the ability to correctly distinguish right from wrong.

No matter what the child does in life, the parents will especially agree, and the child will especially agree with the child, even if the child does something wrong, the parent will not blame the child, which is spoiling.

After the child does something wrong, the parents do not criticize the child, but always tolerate the child's mistakes, and will also condone some of the child's impolite behavior.

Obey the child's words, blindly protect the child, overindulge the child, take care of all the child's things, regardless of whether the child is taught or not.