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Recently, when I saw a friend around me, who looked blank, hunchbacked, and thin, I would like to ask him if he was encountering any kind of situation, but no matter how he asked, there seemed to be no answer, and he would just keep saying "I don't know", just like an egg without a shell, which cannot be beaten by any wind and rain.
But I know that this is a lack of love. People who lack love will have the following three personality traits:
1. People-pleasing personality.
There are usually some such people around, and they will get a sense of recognition from pleasing others through their own dedication and sacrifice. Such people are always others-centered, care too much about what others think, and often ignore themselves. In life, they often give people the feeling of "good people", even if they encounter things that they can't afford, they will wronged themselves to achieve impossible tasks.
In every family, often the most inconspicuous person, is most likely to have such conditions, because they have been neglected for a long time, and have received less attention and care, so when they grow up, they will try their best to fight, perform, and please, and attract everyone's attention in this way, but often many bad things will be swallowed by themselves.
2. The Savior.
Personality. People with a savior-type personality often think that others need their help and do their best to help others. The difference between him and the people-pleasing personality is that the rescuer does not have grievances and feels that he has a powerful force, but often this is just his own fantasy.
3. Inferiority complex.
A person with low self-esteem often feels empty, lonely, and cold. Because they always want to erect an invisible protective wall, to separate themselves from the outside world.
However, low self-esteem comes from this, and sometimes in order to hide their inferiority complex, they will show "great self-confidence and narcissism".
The other is the submissiveness of performance, without self, what others say is what it is, and there is no opinion on what to ask. Often, such people may be bullied at school.
The object at work is the feeling of being someone else's little brother.
How can people with these three personalities train themselves to become stronger?
First of all, we must make ourselves better, pursue beauty, satisfy our own desires, set up a person for ourselves who wants to be the most, don't hold back, do things immediately, and start by imitating.
But in fact, whether it is please, salvation, or inferiority, it is not your fault, most of these problems come from the original family.
It's not bad to have such a problem, but it's the biggest driving force that fuels your growth.
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Lack of love personality is the desire to have intimate relationships with others in daily life, but after really getting an intimate relationship, it is easy to suffer from gains and losses, afraid that the other party will leave you, and may even make very short moves. People who lack love personality must adjust their mentality in time and understand that they are worthy of love.
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The so-called typical lack of love personality means that his family growth environment has a lot to do with a person's growth background, if a person lives in a family that lacks love, he is insecure, but it is difficult to refuse the kindness of others to him, and he is more likely to be hurt.
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They are very eager to make friends and then want others to be nice to her.
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Endless compromises and concessions, only hoping that they can make a good impression in the hearts of others.
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Some girls feel that mavericks are cool and indifferent, but this is not the case, she should be the kind of girl who lacks love.
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Are you a "love-deficient" personality?
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What are the characteristics of a boy who lacks love is as follows:
1. Sensitive and delicate.
When a man lacks love and warmth from the outside world for a long time, he usually becomes extremely sensitive and delicate.
I don't know if you've ever had the same experience and feeling, but the more we lack something, the more we crave something deep down.
When a man lacks love for a long time, he will inevitably crave respect and love from the outside world. In order to gain the recognition and love of others, he will keenly capture the emotions of others, and even have a pleasing personality.
A man who lacks love will become anxious because of a little fluctuation in his life or relationship.
When a man grows up in a relatively healthy and loving family, he will not be overly sensitive when he becomes an adult, nor will he be too anxious and uneasy in his love life.
It is precisely because of his lack of love and companionship that he is as desperate as a plant that lacks water to nourish and irrigate love.
2. Too capricious.
Men who have been lacking love for a long time are usually more headstrong and selfish.
Because he doesn't know what it's like to love and be loved, he only thinks about his own interests in everything and doesn't know how to respect other people's opinions.
Although he is more sensitive and delicate, it is difficult for him to take the initiative to give love and warmth.
When a man lacks love and respect for a long time, he may behave like a child, who will keep asking for love and warmth from his partner in the relationship, but never know how to take the initiative to reciprocate the corresponding love and tenderness.
If he behaves too willfully and coldly in front of you, and is too selfish and stingy towards you, he may be a person who has been lacking love for a long time.
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People who lack love are dry inside, prone to mood swings, sensitive and changeable, difficult to deal with interpersonal relationships at work, and tense relationships between husband and wife in marriage.
Some people show low self-esteem, always feel that they are not good enough, lack the courage to live, and refuse to take the initiative to contact and interact with others; Some people manifest themselves as hysterical, forcing those around them to serve themselves in order to satisfy their vanity or interests, making rules according to their own ideas, and actively breaking them.
People who lack love do not know how to love themselves, and often lose themselves in order to please others.
A common example is to imitate other people's dress, imitate other people's joys and sorrows, or even change the tone of speech, change the way of life, etc., through a series of begging changes, hoping to gain the recognition and affirmation of others. When a person who lacks love meets someone he likes, he is not capable of loving.
The excessive pursuit of money is also a sign of lack of love, and some people are very afraid of losing their power, their desire to control others, and the various halos above their heads, and only money brings a temporary sense of security.
Life shows unscrupulous acquisition of money, greed and miserliness coexist pathological psychology. Fourth, some children in childhood due to the lack of parental care, the lack of family education, resulting in a weak sense of responsibility, no sense of belonging, social cognitive bias, low emotional intelligence, adulthood often show three wrong views, narrow-minded, extreme work.
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1. Lack of security.
A person who is not extremely pampered has a dry heart. Whether in childhood or marriage, the most typical thing for a person who lacks love is a lack of security. It is easy to be anxious, worried, panicked, and afraid, and such emotions can easily arise.
Then the insecurity behavior is different for everyone, some people will be very hysterical, some people will try very, very hard, and some people will be very depressed.
2. Low self-esteem. I always feel that I am not good enough, some people are already very good in the eyes of outsiders, but in the heart they always think that it is not enough, some people are not brave enough in many places in life because of low self-esteem, and even close their hearts and do not contact with the outside world, their hearts are not strong enough, and they always can't find a sense of strength in the depths of their hearts.
3. Don't know how to love yourself, but are willing to please others.
People who lack love can easily want to beg for love from others because they think they are not good enough, but deep down, everyone wants to be loved and approved by others. Often, they learn to please others and lose themselves.
4. Lack of trust in the people around you.
If parents only bring majesty and demands to their children, their young hearts will lack warmth and will only be more arbitrary and absolute in their pursuit of goals to win affirmation. Even if you can achieve admirable results in some aspects when you grow up, you will be full of loss and loneliness, which is manifested in a lack of trust in the people around you and difficulty in establishing intimate relationships with others.
5. Lack of expression of love.
There are many ways to express emotions between people, which can be the most direct verbal expression, or an intimate hug, a warm and firm look, or even a clenched fist.
If parents don't show their children love and care, they often won't be able to appreciate and express themselves. Or when they grow up, they will be hot and cold to others, it is difficult to distinguish the truth from the fake friendship of others, and the demand for friendship and affection is very low.
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Psychoanalysis:
If a person lacks the love of his parents since childhood, his growth in character and mind will not be satisfactory.
Because emotional development is stunted.
If you lack love when you grow up because your parents' original family is divorced, it means that the second development period of your emotions has not been fully nourished and accompanied.
If there is no emotional attachment and sustenance to the family, it is natural to put sustenance on the outside world and others.
People always need sustenance.
Advice: If you want to judge whether your future marriage partner lacks love and whether it leads to extreme personalities, the following suggestions are recommended.
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Due to everyone's different living environment and growth experience, there are also differences in the understanding and feeling of love, a person who grew up in a parental environment, the need and desire for love, feel so natural, and a person who grew up in a single-parent environment, the desire for love is relatively strong, to judge whether a person is lacking love, just start from the following points, you can see this matter clearly, and when dealing with others, you can consider these factors.
Restlessness – insecurity.
The first important manifestation of a person who lacks love is a lack of security, so when she talks about friends with others, she always asks her boyfriend to show him everything she has, to buy a house, to buy a car, and even, to arrange everything for the next few decades, he is willing to believe in others, which is the most direct manifestation of a person's insecurity.
Low self-esteem - not daring to compare with others.
People who lack love are more inferior in their hearts, dare not compare with others, dare not compete with others, always seem so weak, and when communicating with others, they are also full of passivity and passivity.
Otaku - afraid of contact with outsiders.
This situation is a little more serious, they are afraid of dealing with others, they always feel that this world is all bad people, they are all loveless people, so they would rather stay at home, than communicate with people more, more contacts, this situation will make themselves more and more lonely if this situation lasts for a long time.
Extreme – either introverted or domineering.
People who lack love often form two extremes, either they are very domineering to reflect their sense of existence, or they are very introverted and negative, and their lack of self-confidence is vividly reflected. Therefore, when we encounter people in these extreme situations, we must show our love, be more tolerant, and know what she thinks in her heart, which is enough, and we must be forgiving and forgiving, and don't care so seriously.
Sensitivity - taking bad things on yourself.
People who lack love are usually more sensitive, when you talk to others, he hears some words that are unfavorable to him, obviously you are not talking about him, he will also understand that you are talking about him, for his misunderstanding, everyone must have a tolerant heart to treat, you must understand in your heart, he is lacking love to do this, don't be so serious.
Suspicious – Lack of trust in others.
There is also a manifestation of a lack of love, that is, a very lack of trust in others, others are sincerely good for him, but he does not understand what others think, they are always full of doubts about people, full of doubts about the world, this mentality makes them feel very lonely.
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It is normal to crave the approval of others.
Being self-sufficient is a relatively mature state, but the recognition gained by the outside world will certainly greatly contribute to our growth.
Human beings are social, and they all depend on other individuals in the society, and they are mutually beneficial and interdependent with each other. It's a survival skill with justified justification.
Both our core and non-core self-confidence are influenced by our environment. The extreme example is that the employees of the "rich xx" company jumped off the building, the factory is under great pressure and the environment is difficult, and they will continue to wear down their confidence and hope.
In order to regain self-confidence, especially boys will want to prove themselves through some methods, such as Ke Jingteng in the movie "Those Years", who was frustrated in love, in order to prove himself and enhance his self-confidence, he made a boxing match, hoping to change Shen Jiayi's opinion.
It is true that Ke Jingteng longs for "love", but "lack of love" and wanting to get "love" are two concepts, everyone should be eager to be treated better in intimate relationships, and if they can't get it, they may take the initiative to get it through action.
Girls who lack love are more sensitive, and when you get along with such a girl, it is best to pay more attention to details, don't get too close, and it is easy to have contradictions when you get too close.
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How can a person who lacks love reap a happy marriage? First of all, we must learn to allow our ability to love to grow.
What are the manifestations of people who lack love?