Is it a disservice to oneself if people are too kind and understanding?

People who are too empathetic are a great psychological burden for themselves, because they have to think about others everywhere, often have to empathize, always have to take into account the emotions of others, pay attention to others, and ignore themselves, obviously very tired, but unconsciously only care about others, for fear that they are not good enough, not perfect enough.

Such a person would rather ignore himself and wronged himself than ignore others, or a group of people, because of himself, as if he has the responsibility to satisfy everyone and take care of everyone except himself.

Then no one knows or understands your own needs and feelings, but you are accustomed to putting others first, and the burden on your heart will only get heavier.

And for others, it can also be a burden, because some people don't have such high expectations of you, and you are not that important in their hearts at all, so it doesn't matter if you can understand it or not.

And those who care about you will not have such high requirements for you at all, you have to always think from their point of view, even if you don't consider them one day, you will not be blamed.

And if you are too empathetic, it will make them feel guilty, and they will feel that if they are a little alienated from you and ignore you, they are ashamed of you, and they feel that they need to compensate you or treat you carefully, for fear that they will fail your good intentions, and excessive empathy will make others feel pressured.

People who don't care about you, no matter how good you are to others, it's useless, and people who care about you don't need you to be so good to him, at least don't overunderstand what he means, and don't be too good to him.

Kindness is a good thing, after all, people are doing it, the sky is watching, the kinder the person, the heavier the blessing. It's just that things must be reversed, and people who are too kind can easily affect their own lives, after all, when you have no bottom line, it is easy to be "bullied." ”

In life, you often meet such a person: every time someone asks him for help, he agrees; Every time someone makes him angry, he forgives as soon as he apologizes; Every time I ask him for his opinion, he always says "whatever" and "okay". After a long time, in the eyes of others, that person has really become a person who is very good at talking, has no bottom line, and is obedient.

Everyone has their own life, you can change yourself for others, but when you retreat again and again, there will always be some people who do not cherish you, and in the end if you are let down, it is not that your kindness is wrong, but that you do not know how to protect yourself.

In life, if kindness is excessive, it is weakness. Kindness is precious, but kindness does not grow teeth, that is, weakness. And the consequence of weakness is that once one day, you can't hold on and will fall, those who are "used" by you will not only not lend a hand, but turn around and push you into the abyss.

In life, there are few people who owe anyone, and you don't have to be good to everyone, uphold your heart, you can't hurt others, protect your kindness, and prevent people's hearts. Being a man who is too kind is easy to harm others, and it is also harmful to himself.

This is the darkness of human nature and the indifference of the human heart. So, don't let your bottomless kindness raise a group of bloodthirsty white-eyed wolves. Blindly embracing the song will only make people think that you are a bully.

Mencius Youyun: "A gentleman has something to do, and he doesn't do something." Do it when you know what you can do, and don't do it when you know what you can't do. ”

Roses are only thorny so that they are not ravaged at will. The same is true of being a human being. Becoming a person with a prickly appearance is the most gentle law in the adult world.

Don't be too kind, those who like to bully you just think you are easy to bully, and you should properly protect your own interests, you should tell them that kindness is not cowardice, it is just a kind of persistence in your own heart.

The kinder the person, the more strength should be there, use these powers to protect themselves, and go all the way down the road of kindness. Therefore, being too kind will harm others and yourself.

You must know that there is nothing wrong with your kindness, but many times, your excessive kindness is not the most correct choice.

Empathetic is originally a compliment, people who know empathy are very popular, people like to get along with such people, they will feel very comfortable, but excessive empathy is not a good thing, not only will they have a great psychological burden, but also cause pressure on others, so that others have a sense of distance.

Sometimes your empathy is not only not understood, but will produce a lot of misunderstandings, will make yourself have a sense of loss, and even get hurt, excessive empathy, excessive consideration for others, will only make your body and mind more and more tired.

So you need to adjust yourself, learn to be kind to yourself, stop putting all your focus on others, you can be empathetic, but don't overdo it, don't burden yourself and others psychologically.

Some people don't need your empathy.

To be empathetic is to be good at understanding the meaning of others, and to be good at thinking from the perspective of others, but sometimes your understanding may not be right, because you are not someone else, you don't know what others think, and it is possible that what you understand is not what others want.

And others may not need you to understand him so well, they may not need your kindness, maybe sometimes you feel that he needs it, and he himself doesn't care at all.

For example, the wife always wants to save money for her husband, she is not willing to spend anything, she is not willing to buy anything, and everything she does is for her husband and children, but her husband does not care about it at all, he does not need you to save so much for him, even if you occasionally buy yourself a few beautiful clothes, he will not blame you, but you yourself feel that he needs you to do this for him, in fact, it is not necessary at all.

Another example is because the wife is too understanding, she is reluctant to find her husband to solve the problem when she encounters anything, and she is afraid that she will disturb her husband who is very busy with work, so she always carries everything down by herself, but in fact, the husband is not afraid of being disturbed, he wants you to talk to him if you have anything, and I hope that you can think of him as soon as you have something.

Sometimes you think you are empathetic, but in fact it is not what the other person meant, you feel that you are thinking about others everywhere, always helping others, but others don't need it at all.

So a lot of the time, you think you're empathetic, not only are you very aggrieved and tired, but the other party doesn't know why, you just think too much and think too much.

As the old saying goes: people are good at being bullied, and horses are good at being ridden. Kindness is a virtue, just divide things, in the face of malignant events, kindness is a defect, and empathy is an emotional spirit, but also a manifestation of people's love, these will inadvertently hurt themselves, so, to the matter, people or a little more kind, a little more empathetic, don't be indecisive, indecisive, to respect the old and love the young, more care about others, will become strong.

If you are too kind and understanding, you will really hurt yourself inadvertently.

Kiss hello, clearly say, yes, there is a good saying, "kindness is free, but not cheap", when others regard your kindness as cheap, at this time remember to "break the break", "stop loss in time", not that you don't want to be kind, but that you have to know how to be flexible in your way of communicating, otherwise you will always be tormented by this in the future, because of the entanglement and incomprehension and pain. This is not to say that you are not kind when you do this, but that when the other party ignores the value of your kindness, your kindness is indeed meaningless, on the contrary, this kindness will in turn cause harm to yourself.

Of course, in the future, you still have to continue to be kind and maintain kindness to the next person, even if it is the next stranger. Hope it helps, oh, I wish you a happy life

There is an idiom called "too much". That's what he meant. Things are overdone.

It's like not reaching it. are all inappropriate. It's like we cook.

It must be just the right time. The heat is not enough, and the dish is half-cooked. The heat is over, and it's scorched.

We want to be a kind person. Kindness is also measured. The most famous example. It's the fable, "The Tale of the Farmer and the Serpent." ”

I'm sure you've heard a lot of stories about modern "beggars". Some modern "beggars" take advantage of people's kindness and make money every day.

Therefore, being charitable is indeed a human virtue. But when we are doing good. We need to do everything just right.

In the midst of passing and not falling short, the right degree and quantity should be appropriately selected. Poverty alleviation work carried out in the past. "The direction is unwavering, and the method is adapted to local conditions.

That's why we can get rid of poverty in an all-round way.

Usually, for the common people. We also have sayings such as "emergency but not poverty".

So. If people are too kind. It is likely to bring harm to yourself. If you don't know how to refuse, you have no principles, you often accept other people's requests, and you agree with a good heart, and only grieve yourself for perfection. Think about it in hindsight. Isn't that a disservice to yourself?

Kindness is good, of course, but this question should be looked at differently, being kind to good people is good, and being kind to people with malicious intentions will cause you to be harmed.

It is natural and normal for most people to be kind, and the reason why we say that this person is kind is determined by looking at his views and ways of dealing with some things or things.

Good people in general are always vulnerable.

And it's always the most giving.

It may seem silly.

But with the passage of time.

People will find out slowly.

In fact, what they miss most are those kind people.

Therefore, good people seem to have lost a lot on the surface.

In fact, I don't know that I don't feel that there is much more than I lose.

Human life is both short and long.

It doesn't matter if you're rich or poor.

In the end, all that can be taken away is happiness and sorrow.

Then live your life on your own terms.

Don't change yourself for the sake of other people's eyes, the Diamond Sutra says, "With no self, no one, no sentient beings, and no longevity, cultivate all the good dharmas, that is, attain the three bodhisattvas of Anuttara!" This shows how important this good word is.

People's happiness is closely related to this good word. As we all know, kind people are popular, which makes people feel like a spring breeze, everyone likes to be with kind people, and being with kind people makes people feel at ease, and they don't have to worry about him harming themselves.

Kindness can make one's heart pure, reduce desires, can give birth to concentration, and then give birth to wisdom, and if you have concentration and wisdom, you can do Mount Tai collapse in front without changing your face. Kindness brings peace and tranquility to your heart. Kindness can make people get immeasurable merit and merit!

Kindness can allow oneself to sow a wide range of good causes, and one's own blessings can increase day by day, benefiting others and oneself, and only when oneself is blessed can one live a happy life. The happiness of doing good deeds, I think many people have experienced, for example, you have helped someone, and you meet a beggar on the road to give some money, although it is a small kindness, but that kind of happiness is really good, every time you do a good deed, your mentality will be better, and the quality of your mentality determines the quality of life, I don't need to say more.

Kindness is something that we have in our nature, so kindness is the duty of each of us sentient beings, and it is our responsibility to be kind to others and help others. Too many people don't know good and evil, don't believe in cause and effect, keep doing evil, let the evil block the goodness in their hearts, and constantly abandon their conscience, just to satisfy the endless seven emotions and six desires in their hearts, do boundless bad karma, and hurt boundless people, if you don't completely turn back these people, abandon evil and promote good, and repent well, although I am a mortal, I have seen your end, and none of you can escape, and how can you let you escape, wicked people. Karma, no one can escape.

To put it bluntly, I hate the face of the evil person very much, if the evil person does not receive the punishment he deserves, I am really depressed in my heart, fortunately God punishes the evil and promotes the good, and there is karma. My heart rejoices when I know that those who do evil will get the consequences they deserve! Get along with kind people more, make more friends with kind people, and stay with kind people for a long time, you will naturally get some kind character, close to Zhu is red!

Usually you should always watch your heart and not let it be indulged. Mortal people are like galloping wild horses, difficult to tame, and the slightest indulgence will lead to delusional thoughts, so it is important to watch your own heart.

All good should be done, and all evil should not be done. Good deeds cultivate good intentions the most, and good intentions can make good deeds, which is the most virtuous virtuous circle.

The ancient Greek philosopher Heraclitus said, "It is impossible for a man to step into the same river twice" is justified. This means that people cannot make the same mistakes, and if a person betrays you out of malice, then you cannot forgive him, otherwise he will repeat the mistake again and again.

What's worse is that he sees your kindness as weak, even crushed, and will cause you more damage. Sometimes, people who are too honest can be taken advantage of by others. Being too honest is stupid, and being too kind can be considered a bully.

After all, in this competitive era, many times you are tolerant and humble. He didn't seem to have any opinions, and he didn't know how to refuse, so he was at the mercy of others. So, when necessary, you have to be individual and bold.

There are often things like this in life. When you kindly forgive the person who betrayed you, the first time you forgive him, he will cry gratefully and be nice to you, but the second time, he will only faintly say thank you. After many times, he will not hesitate to think that you should forgive him, otherwise he will think that you are too stingy.

This is the so-called grievance and grievance, such a person cannot forgive him in the first place, let alone give him a chance to hurt you again. You should wipe him out of your circle and stop talking to him. There are people who are close to you, not because they respect you or see you as a friend, they just treat you as a step, step on your head when necessary, and betray you at any time.

Some people have softer hearts. When others beg him, he thinks about others and makes some unrealistic fantasies, even thinking that the other party will be lost, know that he is wrong, and never do it again. This psychology belongs to the likable character.

Over time, your kindness may not be exchanged for the sincerity of others, but it may be exchanged for the contempt of others. Your forgiveness may not be reciprocated, but it may hurt. Your kindness ends up hurting yourself, but your tolerance turns into indulgence.

So, once you don't think the other person deserves to be forgiven, then you can express your feelings directly. Some people just like to bully people, and when you learn to retaliate, they will respect you and even fear you. **The more I experience, the more I believe this sentence, and there is nothing wrong with being ruthless.

As the saying goes, no one shall offend me, I shall not offend anyone, and I shall not tolerate anyone who offends me.