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What kind of person you are, be brave and be yourself, so that you will be more natural and happy!
If you can be happy, you can be happy with the people around you. There's a saying that doesn't say: go your own way and let others say go, right?
Since your character is the big principle, stick to it. Since they say that kindness shows weakness, then when you find that there is such a problem (which means that what they say is true), you can try to change it gradually and locally in that area.
A person is like a machine, the most natural factory state is the best, if there is a part that really needs to be changed, it is like changing parts, if the whole body is changed, of course, it can be imagined, it must be awkward to change, so you will not be happy.
Therefore, if you really want to change the parts, you have to replace them one by one, and you have to replace them one by one, and the screws are completely tightened before replacing the next one.
That is to say, if you really want to change, you have to come little by little, and any small change must be debugged until you feel that you are used to it, if the debugging period feels unsuitable, then use it back to the original!
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Kindness does not mean weakness. You should be humble and polite, and at the same time you should have your own principles of being a person, so that others can understand that you are a kind girl but not weak.
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The reason why you think you are weak is that kind and introverted people often don't compete with others for anything external. Kindness does not equal weakness.
Weakness is manifested in the lack of assertiveness, indecision, fear of tough people, and lack of courage to face difficulties and setbacks.
And kindness is loving, kind, and easy to be approached.
What kind of person do you say you are?
Why should you change yourself? Is purity bad?
People should not blindly follow, but should have their own opinions.
There are very few people who are very pure nowadays, and it should be enviable to have such a character. Don't think that's a burden.
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Kindness must have a ruler, and forbearance must be measured.
As the saying goes, people are good at being bullied, and horses are good at being ridden. If a person is always kind without a bottom line, he will naturally be pinched around as a "soft persimmon".
People live, don't always believe that patience is calm for a while, endure the calm in the end, unscrupulous but come, we can be roses, but we can't be without thorns.
The writer Sanmao once told his story in the book.
When Sanmao was young, her family instilled in her the idea of being kind. Under the influence of her father's education and mother's education, she has always believed that good people are not deceived by nature, and people are not bullied.
If it weren't for studying abroad, Sanmao would have always felt that his thoughts were right, all people were worthy of love and warmth, and everyone was worth forbearance.
Under the influence of this kind of thinking, Sanmao is kind to others everywhere, she helps her roommates fetch water, make beds, and clean up in the dormitory, and she thinks that her kindness will get the same feedback from others.
I never thought that my roommate would take her help for granted, or even treat her as a nanny who could be called at any time, not only that, but her roommates would use her things casually, without considering her feelings at all.
Finally, Sanmao couldn't help it, and in a dispute with her roommate, it broke out completely, and her actions surprised her roommate and made her respected.
Sanmao wrote in "West Wind Doesn't Know Faces":
If kindness is just blindly giving, then this kindness, I'd rather not. ”
The world is too hot and cold, and people's hearts are as ruthless as wolves. In this world, if you are kind without a bottom line, the world will gnaw you to the ground.
Living in this world, our biggest stupidity is to believe in the goodness of human nature without a bottom line, if our kindness and forbearance, in exchange for worsening the harm, it is the coolest to turn our faces directly.
To be a man, turn your face when you should turn your face.
I have seen such a sentence on the Internet: "Not showing mercy to the wicked is also a kind of cultivation." ”
Couldn't agree more! We can be kind, but we must bring a little edge, otherwise kindness will lose its meaning, and it will encourage the arrogance of the wicked.
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It should be a little sharp. It's not just a blind forbearance called kindness, your silence may make the other party feel that you are a bully, sometimes, people really need to be treated differently, please leave our enthusiasm to kind people!!
Before I quietly lost, I read an e-book, the title of the book is that your kindness must be a little sharp, I think I must have a bottom line, kindness is a conscience, a nature, it is based on morality. Once, stupidly thinking that the shedring is kind is all for the sake of others, you can be wronged and misunderstood, but in the end the other party will understand you and even be moved by you. And it's not as you think.
Kindness, tolerance, and concession without a bottom line are actually connivance, which will make the other party gain an inch, and finally force themselves into a corner.
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When one's kindness is not treated well, many people begin to question whether they should continue to be kind. However, as a morality and a value, goodness itself is worth pursuing. Staying kind is not only about caring for others, but also about improving yourself.
When you are in a situation where kindness is not being treated kindly, here are a few things you can try:
1.Reflection: Analyze why your kindness is not being treated kindly. Is it your inappropriate way, or are you expecting too much from the other person? Through reflection, you can learn how to better use your kindness.
2.Be patient: It takes time to change the perceptions and behaviors of others. Don't expect your kindness to be rewarded immediately. Give patiently, and time will bring you good results.
3.Seek support: Share your experience with friends and family and seek their advice and support. They may bring you new perspectives and help you see the essence of the problem.
4.Focus on yourself: While helping others, you should also pay attention to your own needs and feelings. Being kind doesn't mean sacrificing yourself. Ensuring your mental health and well-being are just as important.
5.Cultivate boundaries: Set your own boundaries and don't let others take advantage of your kindness without limits. When someone else's behavior is beyond your reach, learn to say no to protect your mental health.
6.Hold on to your beliefs: Although there may be setbacks at some point, believe that kindness is a valuable quality and stick to it.
Finally, remember that kindness is a choice. In the face of unfair treatment, we can choose to give up kindness, but we can also choose to continue to persevere. The key is to know why we want to be kind and how to persevere in difficult times.
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