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First of all, the ancients also had a blind date, and everyone believed that the marriage of the ancients was based on the life of the parents and the words of the matchmaker. In fact, of course, the wise ancients also understood that blind marriage and dumb marriage will not be happy. Every parent wants their children to have a happy marriage.
A happy marriage is not only about being the right person, but also about having a certain emotional foundation. In order to let them find a wishful husband or a virtuous and gentle wife, in the pre-Qin period, the state would hold a blind date meeting in February every year. All unmarried men at the age of 30 and unmarried women at the age of 20 can participate.
At the blind date, if you meet someone you like, you will send peony flowers to each other to express your love. Isn't it romantic? In modern times, the practice of giving roses on blind dates may be based on the ancients.
This approach is both subtle and romantic. And it won't be embarrassing. I have to admire the wisdom of the ancients.
In this way, people can find the object they like, and they choose it themselves, avoiding blind marriage. It will make the married life happier and more satisfying. In general, it can also make society more harmonious and stable.
In addition, there are three festivals in the Tang and Song dynasties that are used for blind dates, namely the Lantern Festival, the Shangsi Festival and the General Assembly of the same year. On the day of the Lantern Festival, unmarried men and women will go out to see the lanterns and guess the lantern riddles. By the way, let's see if you can meet someone who is destined.
Every year on March 3, the Shangsi Festival, young men and ladies who don't usually go out much will go out. If you like it, you will give it away. In the same year, the conference "is the annual list day of the new science and technology scholars, and the young ladies of the official eunuch family will go to the Qujiang River to peek at the drinking party of the jinshi, and when they meet someone they like, they will go home and tell their parents and let them arrange to propose marriage.
In addition to the above methods, there was also a blind date in the Ming and Qing dynasties. That is, the matchmaker takes the man to the woman's home as a guest, and the woman will peek at the man's appearance and behavior in the boudoir, and if she is satisfied, she will come out to pour tea for the man, and if she is not satisfied, she will not come out. It means that this family business can't be done.
It can be seen that the ancients also had a lot of blind dates, and they were not as feudal and closed as we modern people imagined. They can also choose the person they like just like us, and they attach the same importance to the quality of their marriage.
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In ancient times, there was no blind date festival, and the ancients were not allowed to go on a blind date, paying attention to the order of the parents, the words of the matchmaker, and it was not until the time of marriage that we could know what kind of person the other party was.
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The seventh day of the seventh month, also known as the Qixi Festival, is the ancient blind date festival. The ancients generally went on a blind date through a matchmaker to talk about matchmaking, as long as you fancy a woman, you can call a matchmaker to talk about matchmaking.
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In ancient times, there was no blind date festival, and the ancients achieved the purpose of blind date through various garden parties and banquets.
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Ancient blind dates are like what we see on TV, competitions to recruit relatives, throwing hydrangeas, etc., and some directly if the door is right, the parents will be in charge, and the bride price will be sent directly.
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When people went on a blind date in ancient times, it was the matchmaker who said goodbye, and the two parties were not allowed to meet at that time. After the blind date is successful, the bride and groom can only be seen after the wedding chapel. In ancient times, people would throw hydrangeas on blind dates, compete to recruit relatives, or the man would go to the woman's house to say matchmaking.
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The "blind date festival" of the Tang and Song dynasties has become very mature in the Tang Dynasty, not only the matchmaker was written into the law, but also there were three fixed blind date days, and they have been used, these three are, March 3, the Lantern Festival, and the same year conference at that time. The most traditional Valentine's Day in ancient times, that is, the third day of March every year, the legend is the day when the Queen Mother opened the peach conference, the young guys and the women hiding in the boudoir have gone out to go out, the women are playing on the riverside, arranging flowers and enjoying the willows, and the men are also sitting on both sides of the river, ** beautiful scenery, if there is a pair of eyes to fold the willows to send each other, in order to express their hearts.
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Martial arts competitions, hydrangea throwing, blind marriages and dumb marriages, arranged marriages, and some blind dates during the Lantern Festival, etc., ancient people still attached great importance to it when they got married.
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The matchmaker will take the man to the woman's house, the woman will not come out beforehand, they hide in the house to observe the man's actions, if she likes it, the woman will come out to add tea to the man, if not, the girl will not come out.
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In everyone's eyes, the ancients were married according to the instructions of their parents, and there were very few cases of free love, and blind dates were the most commonAnd the ancient blind date and the modern blind date are still different, let's take a good look at it. Blind dates first appeared in the Xia and Shang periods, when the population was not very large, for everyone, it is very necessary to increase the population, not only to enhance the power, but also to provide labor, which also leads to people's open-mindedness. Blind dates were very fun at that time, and in February, there was a blind date event.
not married".Single dogs"They can all participate, not only the boys are very active, but the girls will also express their feelings in their own way, they will give their sweetheart peony flowers.
Such a move is fresh and refined, and it makes people feel a strong sense of love. At that time, the blind date didn't care much about the right match, and having children was the most important thing. Sui and Tang dynasties.
The way of blind date has changed, and people were more open-minded at that time, and in that atmosphere, people were very concerned about getting married, so they specially found two festivals to hold blind date activities, as long as people who were not married could come to participate.
During the Lantern Festival, you can look at the lanterns together and enjoy the beautiful sceneryShangsi FestivalWhen you can go on a spring outing。Not only can you see beautiful scenery, but you can also see beautiful people who are pleasing to the eye. If in the process of enjoying the scenery, there is a favorite object, the man can give the willow branch to the other party, and the girl can give the other party a sachet if she is tempted.
In the Tang and Song dynasties, people paid more attention to marriage, and the three mediators and six hires became a specific form, which was added to the law, matchmaking.
It was also at this time that they appeared, and they played a key role in the blind date.
At this time, not only is there a matchmaker saying that he is married, but there is also a way to marry by referring to the abdomen, if the relationship between the two elders is good, may set a marriage event for the child. This form is also relatively reliable. This way is more common, land travel.
and Tang Wan is a typical example, but this blind date also has drawbacks, Tang Wan is Lu You's cousin, and the two are considered close relatives to get married. In the Ming and Qing dynasties, the blind date method was somewhat similar to now, and matchmakers played a great role at this time, they would lead men to women's homes.
A woman doesn't need to see a man, she can watch his every move in the bedroom, and if the other person doesn't suit her heart, she doesn't need to meet him. If you think the other person is not bad, you can make tea for the other person. We can see the wisdom of the ancients in this way, and the man was not directly rejected, but tactfully resolved the embarrassment.
In this way, girls also have more opportunities to choose. Whether it is in modern times or in ancient times, whether the blind date can be successful or not also depends on luck, and only the two can be happy for a long time. Blind dates are not as complicated as before, but the wisdom of the ancients in blind dates is still worth learning from.
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It already existed in the Xia Shang period, and when they went on a blind date, their parents matched them, and then they met quietly in private.
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It started in ancient times. They will have a matchmaker come to the door to say goodbye, and after saying that the two sides will exchange birthdays, and then send them to some places to see if they are matched.
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In ancient times, it was the order of the parents, the words of the matchmaker, two people will not meet when they go on a blind date, and it is okay for the parents of two people to meet.
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In ancient times, matchmaking was a matchmaker who introduced young people from both sides. In this way, the two families get married.
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When was "blind date" born? The Tang Dynasty was born. How did the ancients "go on a blind date"?
In the season of long grass and yellow orioles flying, the official "**" in charge of the marriage of young men and women will organize several "large blind date parties", that is, unmarried young men and women will be summoned to a place to sing love songs, express love for the opposite sex, freely choose a partner, and those who are happy with each other can legally be together. Is a group blind date crazy? The most exaggerated thing is that on this day the formed couple is allowed to elope!
In the Book of Songs, there are many beautiful poems about men and women singing love songs. For example, in the national style, "There is a plum in the basket!" "To the effect:
The plum is ripe and has fallen to the ground, so pick it up with a dustpan. Like me, young people who want to chase me. Don't be shy, get it out there!
Although it is primitive, it feels simple and romantic.
<> in ancient times, men and women themselves had no right to talk about their marriages. They obey "the orders of their parents and the words of matchmakers." Marriage depends entirely on the parents.
If "without waiting for the orders of their parents and the words of matchmakers, they drill holes to peep at each other and follow outside the walls, then their parents' people are cheap" (Mencius Tengwen Gong).
In marriage, there is no blind date. Men and women are not allowed to meet in front of a new house. Before the Song Dynasty, according to ancient etiquette, marriage and marriage had to go through the process of accepting gifts (giving gifts and proposing), asking for names (asking for a woman's name and birthday), najib (giving gifts and betrothed-to-women to a woman's home), receiving certificates (men sending bridal gifts to women, request period (engagement period), and personal welcome (marriage)).
In the Song Dynasty, according to Zhu Zi's family rites, these six rituals have been reduced to three rituals, namely accepting gifts, receiving coins, and welcoming relatives, as mentioned above. However, no matter how complicated or simple the wedding is, they don't pay attention to meeting and dating. If a man and a woman communicated for a while and then got married, as it is now, it was a shocking thing in ancient times.
It's called "Tokyo Dream Record: Marrying a Woman". If the wife is a wife, that is, a man's relative or a woman looks at the woman's house, that is, she inserts a hairpin in the crown, which is called "hairpin" In ancient times, it was impossible for men and women to go on a blind date face-to-face, but before marriage in the Song Dynasty, there was a daughter-in-law, also called hairpin engagement, which should be regarded as a blind date.
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In ancient times, there were no blind dates, only men asked matchmakers to go to women's homes to propose marriage. Generally speaking, as long as the men's conditions are not too bad, the women's families will agree.
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The man first told his parents, and then went to the matchmaker, and the matchmaker went to tell the woman's parents, and after the woman's parents agreed, they got married.
Another is that the parents go to the matchmaker, the matchmaker introduces, and the parents of both parties agree to get married.
In ancient times, most couples met with candles in the cave room, and they only met when the red hijab was lifted.
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Introduced by the matchmaker, the man went to visit the woman's home, as long as the parents of both parties agreed, it was done, it was very cruel. There is no selectivity at all.
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If you don't have a blind date, you will not fail if you go directly to the door.
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