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Of course, the mood is very sad, after all, it is hard work to bring up the child, so there is no reason not to be good to you, maybe the child just wants to communicate more with his father, not that it is not good for you.
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The feeling of loss, because it must be very sad to encounter this situation.
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I was very sad, because after all, the child I had worked so hard to raise was suddenly not reconciled with me.
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After the child is born, the mother must spend more time and thought on the child than the father. In life, many mothers will give up their rest time for the sake of their children, and even sacrifice their work, communication, and hobbies, and put all their efforts and energy on their children.
However, many children grow up and have their own opinions, but they no longer rely on their mothers, but stick to their fathers all day long, being their father's "little heels", and obeying their father's words. This makes some mothers feel very disappointed and think that their efforts are a bit worthless.
However, I am the opposite, my child likes his father, and I feel happy when he pesters him all day long.
The reason why children like to pester their fathers In fact, when children grow up, they prefer their fathers, and the reasons why they pester their fathers all day long are very simple:
1. He spends less time with his father
Because the child usually stays with his mother every day and spends much less time with his father, he will seize the opportunity to get along with his father. Because he knows that his mother will accompany him at any time, but his father is very busy and does not have much time to spend with him.
2. Children and dads are happier together
Some mothers may find that when their children get along with their father, even if they are often told by their father to do this and that, they are very happy; Sometimes when he is criticized by his father, he still has to pester his father. This is because the joy that occurs when a child plays with his father is something that he cannot experience when he is with his mother.
For example, when my son Kaka was a child, he was very clingy to his dad because his dad would take him to play football; When I go for a walk with him, I will let him sit on his father's shoulder, these things, as a mother, I can't do.
The child likes his father, and I will be very happy that my son Kaka, who has always been brought by me since he was born, but from the current point of view, his relationship with his father is also better than with mine. However, I don't feel disappointed, but happy. Usually, I would often encourage Kaka to go to his father when he had a problem, and let the father and son solve it together, so as to promote the relationship between the father and son.
Actually, I think that children like to pester their fathers, which is a great benefit for mothers. For example:
First, mom can take the opportunity to relax
People who have taken children know that in fact, it is very tiring to take children, in addition to feeding and cloning children, they also have to accompany children to play with toys, read picture books, do sports, and do all kinds of trivial housework, so mothers with children are basically overloaded every day.
Second, let the father know that it is not easy to take care of the child
3. The family will become more harmoniousTherefore, I usually support my children to get close to their dad and play with him. I will also ask and encourage my husband to spend more time with the children. That way, they're happy, and I'm even happier!
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In fact, the child does not belong to anyone, he is also an independent individual, and has his own thoughts. If he doesn't like you anymore, there will definitely be sadness, but the main thing is to review whether he is doing something wrong, and to find out the problem in time and correct it in time. Under normal circumstances, the child brought up by yourself will not be close to you for no reason, as long as you treat him sincerely, the child will still rely on you very much.
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I was in a particularly lost mood. I feel like all of a sudden I don't pay off. And I also feel particularly unfair.
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Sometimes the relationship is delicate, and you don't know why, but if you don't kiss yourself, you get uncomfortable, you don't feel happy, you don't even feel like you love your child so much.
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"The child who worked hard to bring up suddenly stopped kissing me, I am so lost." In the face of such a question as Bao Ma, what is the problem? Or is it that Bao's mother is too hypocritical?
Why does the child brought up by the mother suddenly become less pro-herself? As the child grows up, he is exposed to more people and things
I have to say that when children are young, they can't wait to stick to their mothers 24 hours a day, but as children grow up, especially after kindergarten, they have to face more people and things. And the child's time and energy are limited, when he spends his energy on other things, it is inevitable that he will become "alienated" from his mother, and it is normal to no longer cling to his mother all the time as he did when he was a child.
I have to say that sometimes it seems that the child is "alienated" from the mother, but in fact, it is not their original intention, but because the child has insufficient time and energy.
Children of different ages have different feelings of dependence on their fathers and mothers
When the child is young, he is more clingy to his mother, but as the child grows up, many mothers say that they will start to become close to their father, and as long as their father is at home, the child will pester his father. At this time, the mother who has been clinging to her child may be "jealous". In fact, this is related to the age of the child, and some studies have proved that children of different ages have different degrees of dependence on their parents.
Coupled with the different personalities of fathers or mothers, when children grow up, they will also make a simple choice according to their "preferences", which is normal. So mothers don't have to be too disappointed, let alone suspect that the child doesn't love you if he doesn't kiss you, maybe the child just feels sorry for his mother too hard, so he wants to play with his father, so he can let his mother rest for a while.
The child suddenly stopped kissing his mother, and the mother wanted to clarify a few thingsUnderstand the reasons behind it
If the changes in the children are due to their growth and age, then the mothers should relax. On the contrary, if it is because the mothers are too strong and discipline the children too much, causing the children to be unwilling to be close to themselves, then the mothers have to reflect.
Moms adjust their mentality
If the child is not so close to the mother because of normal growth and age, then what the mother needs to do is to adjust her mentality. After all, when children grow up, they will have their own lives, and it is only a matter of time before they become farther and farther away from their parents. And being a father and a mother means seeing the children leave again and again, so that they can explore the broader world.
Learn to let go
Children are not so clingy to themselves, which actually means that they are slowly learning to be independent. As a mother, what you need to do is to choose to let go when it is time to let go, give your children a chance to grow better, and at the same time give yourself a chance, it's time to return to the state before giving birth, think more about yourself, and pursue the ideals and goals that you have given up for your children. After all, it is impossible for mothers to revolve around their children all their lives, so learning to let go is also a kind of fulfillment, not only to fulfill the child, but also to fulfill themselves.
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If I encounter this situation, it is actually quite understandable, because the mother takes the child every day, and the child makes a mistake, the mother will scold, but the father is generally at work, so the child is more comforted and accompanied, so the child will like the father more.
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It's just that I feel quite lost, but it doesn't matter if I think about it carefully, children need to have a growth process, which may be a growth process, so we have to learn to accept it.
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As a mother, it is true that her heart has been extremely devastated, because she has paid the most, but she has not been liked by the baby, which makes me very sad.
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I am very sad that the children I have worked so hard to take care of will not like me in a blink of an eye, and I will be very disappointed and feel like a failure.
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Bao's mother brought up the child by herself, and suddenly she didn't get along with herself, she only liked her father, and at this time, she felt as if she had carefully raised a pot of flowers and was stolen, and she felt very lost and uncomfortable.
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If the child I worked so hard to bring up suddenly didn't get along with me, but only liked my father, I think I would be very sad and aggrieved at that time, because I gave a lot to this child, and also gave him a lot of love and attention.
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The mood is particularly bad, I feel very lost, and the children I have worked so hard to bring up are not close to me, and there will be a sense of loss in my heart, and there will be indescribable pain in my heart.
Because the child follows the surname of his grandfather, there is a bloodline. When the child was a child, he was brought up by his grandparents, and the children at that time did not have much memory.
It is easy for the elderly to do their own thing, and if they do not take care of the children, it is easy for the children to be in danger. Secondly, Lao Tzu's education method is not good, and the elderly may spoil their children too much, so that children develop bad habits of self-centeredness. The elderly are unable to tutor their children's homework, and the children may not have good grades and cannot keep up with the class teaching.
This way of companionship is really the right one. And when mom and dad accompany their children, they must communicate more with their children and do some parent-child games.
Children's logical thinking can be cultivated by reading storybooks in the early days, and when encountering problems, I think good parents should guide their children to think and educate their children more about the direction of thinking.
First reduce the number of feedings every day, then reduce the time that the mother has contact with the child, do not sleep with the child at night, and hide when the child cries, and it should be okay to insist on three or four days.