Why do people who lack parental love in childhood have two completely different personalities when t

The main reason is that they can't express their feelings like ordinary people when they grow up, which leads to their more extreme personalities.

Because their experience is different, because some people's experience is not particularly good, they will be very disgusted, especially irritable, which has a certain relationship with the individual.

This happens because parents are very important to children, and children also need their parents to accompany them, and parents are the first teachers of children.

If the family in which the child grew up is full of quarrels, full of caring for other members of the family, they do not care about each other, and the child grows up in a family that lacks love, the child will become very indifferent, the love for the family will become distrustful, and there will be great defects in the sexual defense.

No matter what the reason is for the lack of love for children, children must not feel love with their relatives in the family, and the relationship between parents and siblings may not be very good, so when children grow up, they will be very distant from their parents, siblings. Because children feel that there is nothing worth remembering at home, and they feel that their parents and siblings do not love them enough, they will slowly become estranged. The child's personality will also become very withdrawn, not only with relatives, but also with friends around him will be very estranged, after a long time, it will affect the child's personal communication ability, and the child is likely to affect the child's career development after entering the society with the forest model.

Love can be divided into many kinds, can be divided into love for the family and love for the partner, if the child grew up in a lack of care in the family, it is difficult to find their other half when they grow up, because the child will feel that his parents are not true love for himself, so he will not expect strangers to have love for him when he grows up, and the child's future love and marriage will be subject to great resistance, and the resistance is because the child's heart is very withdrawn, unwilling to believe in others, resulting in the child will miss a lot of love.

Children who grow up in a family that releases love are especially afraid of failure when they grow up, have no assertiveness when doing things, are very timid, and procrastinate and are not decisive in doing things. And when such children usually get along with others, they are actually very easy to lose control, not confident enough, often self-indulgent, and feel that they are not worthy of love, so it is difficult to make sincere friends with others, and it is superficial and never dares to make friends.

When the child grows up, he will become very tricky, he will become very selfish, he will become without any sympathy, and he will become very aggrieved.

Children may become inferior, do not want to deal with people, and children who grow up without a caring family have some character shortcomings.

Children may be very rebellious, there will also be psychological problems, and there will be temper tantrums, and children will always encounter various problems when they grow up.

Since childhood, there has been a lack of family care and love.

What will become of the human growth conference?

There is one thing in common, and that is "low self-esteem".

1.Afraid of bothering others.

When encountering things, I want to solve all things alone;

2.Have a slight social phobia, care about the eyes and opinions of people around you, for fear of saying the wrong thing in front of many people;

3.Don't dare to accept the other party's goodness, once you accept, you will want to give back to the other party with your best things;

4.It is easy to form dependence on a person, but there is a fear of losing and forcing yourself to become independent;

5.attaches great importance to privacy, often suffers from gains and losses, but is very sensitive;

6.When it is difficult to solve difficulties, the first reaction is to choose to escape;

7.Every once in a while, I feel that life is meaningless and my emotions are very depressed;

8.I am very unconfident, and if someone confesses to you, I will think that I am joking.

Hemingway said that if you want to make a man a writer, the best thing to do is to give him an unhappy childhood.

In fact, many of our problems and the root of our suffering can often be answered in our childhood, and what kind of person we become is determined in our childhood, but we never realize it.

In the child's growth experience, many parents usually meet the child's survival needs, but ignore the child's safety and social needs. This may be due to the fact that parents, in their childhood, were still in an era of material scarcity and could not meet their survival needs, and they did not receive a sense of security and love from their parents from an early age, so they also ignored their children's needs for security and love.

The first is to be independent, and to rely on yourself for everything. The second is withdrawn and emotionally conservative. The third is paranoia, and the behavioral ideas are a bit offbeat. Fourth, the desire for warmth, the desire to be loved.

The environment in which a person grew up in childhood has a great influence on him.

Relatively withdrawn and does not like to talk.

In a childhood without maternal love, children will grow up to develop an extreme personality and be easily angry。Because he didn't have his own mother's love at a very young age, then he would become very isolated, and many people would bully him, and then he would develop an extreme character, but whenever someone bullied him, he would be very angry and easily angry.

Childhood without maternal love, when you grow up, you are generally more introverted and don't like to communicate with other people

If it's a boy, there may be a bit of a mother-love plot and you need to find a girl to take care of it. If it is a girl, it will be more sensitive, will deny herself, and feel that she is not worthy of love.

Personally, I think that a childhood without mother's love will grow up with a more withdrawn personality, and even if it is serious, there may be autism.

When you grow up, you will be a very loveless character, and if someone treats you well, you will die for him.

It will be very withdrawn, it is difficult to get along with, and people will become very selfish, which should be this kind of character.

1. Lack of security.

An insecure person will always imagine herself in a dangerous area, and she will not easily trust the people around her. She will suffer from gains and losses, and she will not dare to have it, because she is afraid that she will always lose. I don't dare to invest in a relationship easily, and when I am not together, I will think about what to do after a breakup, and I am extremely insecure.

I don't dare to open my heart to others easily, it's too difficult to get into their hearts, they always love to recall the bits and pieces of the past, and they can't extricate themselves from their own emotional world.

Second, it is easy to have an inferiority complex.

When they like someone, they often don't take the initiative to confess, and even prefer to miss it. If the other party is an excellent person, then they often feel that they are not worthy of him in their hearts, and they feel that they are not good enough and have an inferiority complex. Many times they will also silently compare themselves with their peers around them, and many times they will feel that they are inferior to others in every way.

3. Observe words and looks.

If this kind of person is used on the right path, I think it will be beneficial to his work and life. However, the profit drive makes many people end up not very good. My neighbor has two children, the older one is more sensible, but the younger one is not good, and everything is only for his own sake.

Once, the family bought apples and asked them to take apples for their father to eat, and the eldest took a big one for himself and a small one for his father, and was told by his mother. The younger brother took the big one and handed it over, and was praised by his mother. If more and more people will observe words and colors, it is also a sign of lack of love.

People who lack family care since childhood will actually be relatively withdrawn in their hearts and often have little interest in people and things. And relatively cold in character. He also does not want to communicate with people.

The first is to be independent, and to rely on yourself for everything. The second is withdrawn and emotionally conservative. The third is paranoia, and the behavioral ideas are a bit offbeat. Fourth, the desire for warmth, the desire to be loved.

The main manifestations are:

1. Insecurity.

A person who lacks love in childhood is insecure in adulthood, so he (she) will be sensitive and suspicious, because in his (her) subconscious there is a hidden initial inner relationship pattern, and there is a lack of response and love in that model.

So in the various relationships after adulthood, he (she) will not experience happiness, for ordinary interpersonal relationships, he (she) feels difficult to deal with, can not handle well, let alone intimate relationships, because of this psychological insecurity, so that he (she) always "pushes others" away, his (her) sensitivity and suspicion are constantly destroying the existing relationships, at the same time he also experiences loneliness all the time.

2. Low self-esteem. People are born weak and unconfident, a newborn baby he (she) is alive and conscious, so he (she) has to look for a certainty, he (she) has to believe that he (she) will not be threatened, he (she) has to confirm that he (she) is a valuable being, and the external reaction to all this is "love", love from parents and other people around him is the manifestation of the above existence, if there is no love, lack of love, he (she) will become inferior, even withdrawn, no longer believe in himself.

In adulthood, we are bound by various moral and rational planes, such as what we should do, what we want to do, but what is the result? We always experience inferiority complex deep in our hearts, because of the influence of inferiority complex, our work, life, and study become painful, our rationality is always entangled and fighting with our sensibility, and finally we have to experience pain and live a life of inferiority.

3. Nervousness and anxiety.

As we said earlier, we are born weak, we have to get the initial soil for our survival from our parents, we have to learn and establish the initial model of the relationship, then in the lack of love in this growth environment, we will become nervous and anxious, a person who lacks love in childhood, he (she) will feel that life is full of uncertainty, and even hidden "danger", the most obvious feature of this psychological manifestation is tension and anxiety.

In addition to being born weak, people are always looking for a certainty, for children who are cared for and cared for by their parents in the process of growing up, he (she) because of the determination of the love of their parents, knowing that their parents have always been by their side, no matter what happens, their parents are guarding him (her), so he (she) is not easy to experience tension and anxiety, on the contrary, those who often do not get the response of their parents and lack of parental care are easy to become nervous and anxious.

People who lack family care since childhood will grow up to be very inferior and selfish, and they don't know how to care about others, and live in their own world, but they will also change if they study and live normally, you may be afraid of failure, rejection, loneliness, not good enough, abandonment, unloved, out of control, and many unknown factors. Our fears can either solidify us or motivate us to develop maladaptive behaviors, such as maladaptive perfectionism and pleasing compulsions in order to gain a sense of control. If interventions are not implemented properly, there is a high probability that adults will experience the same symptoms as they were left over from childhood.

This will be followed by several other coping mechanisms that may have developed from childhood and into adulthood (or developed during adulthood). We are not trying to provide an exhaustive list of all situations, but there are several general ones: Negative Perceptions of Self and OthersAs discussed in previous sections, insecure attachment individuals are able to develop negative perceptions of themselves and others.

Negative perceptions of others are characterized by low trust and fear of irrational beliefs, i.e., the belief that everyone else is insecure. Negative perceptions of oneself are characterized by:

Low self-esteem, low self-esteem, low self-worth, high self-hatred, and high self-criticism under irrational beliefs, i.e., negative perceptions of being bad, worthless, dirty, and other similar. Forced self-reliance is a pattern commonly found in avoidant attachment individuals who have a strong need for control. This trait is often rooted in a low level of trust in others.

The ability to delegate poorly can likewise inhibit the formation of intimate and peer relationships, because the internalized thinking of this type of individual is that I can do it on my own. Individuals in the forced self-reliance pattern often place themselves in self-induced isolation situations, because for the forced self-reliance individual, others are irrelevant, only the self (the self) is relevant. Again, this comes down to being disappointed in others.

If someone who lacks love since childhood is given a little good by others, he will be willing to pay. As the saying goes, the greater you give, the more you hurt, so people who have lacked love since childhood are very fragile in their hearts. This is an important point.

In the case of unladylike people, people who have lacked love since childhood will not resist if they are bullied by others in life, and will only blindly tolerate it, resulting in irreparable consequences. So the heart is very fragile.

As the divorce rate continues to rise, it has become an indisputable fact that more and more children are growing up in single-parent families. I just hope that if you really can't get over it and embark on the road of divorce, please try to minimize the harm to your children, children are innocent, and imperfect marriages between adults should not be carried by children for the rest of their lives.

Not to mention those children who were brought up by their grandparents when they were young, including many couples who divorced, and the children were handed over to the elderly, and some were left-behind families, and their parents were away from home for a long time, so they had no choice but to live with the elderly. No matter how thoughtful the grandparents are, they can't replace their fathers and mothers. All in all, the lack of love from either parent will cause a hollow of love in the child's heart.

The individual's sense of security is generated in this way: parents (especially mothers) are important objects in the child's growth, and if the child can be given enough love at a young age, continuous, stable, persistent, consistent, and reasonable love, the child will experience a sense of security, and extend trust in others and the world, and feel self-esteem, self-confidence, and a sense of certainty and control over the reality and the future."