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There are too many such cases. In fact, it is not so important where you spend the Spring Festival. It is important that the family is able to be reunited. Don't get divorced because of that. Communicate well. The mother of the child is worried, and we can understand the mood of the elderly.
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You do this: Divorce is used as a threat to achieve your goal. This is not some "ulterior" purpose, but above board.
Needless to say? You say, you have parents and I have parents, why do you live in your house every year? If you don't respect my parents and don't listen to me as a husband, I don't think you can do your family obligations, and this family is better off.
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Bringing the two families together. Together.
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Don't make a fuss. If it's an only child, I really think that the elderly on both sides, to take care of, it's best to spend together, there is a bathroom advertising film is about the husband and wife because of the problem of going back to whose house for the New Year, it seems that this is really a family problem.
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This is really not an easy problem to solve, the main thing is that the two of them should tolerate each other, and the old people on both sides are old and have to accompany them.
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You can go to her house this year and yours next year. The two of them discussed coming.
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You don't come to the door, it's time to go back to the old for reunion and reunion during the Spring Festival, and women should go back with you. This is a Chinese tradition, I think your idea is fine, but if you have a family and children, you should discuss more and not be too impulsive.
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It is better to divorce by agreement. If you file a lawsuit, the man generally cannot file for divorce within one year after the woman gives birth, and you will have the right to sue the court after one year.
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Recently, a couple born in the 80s who had been married for only half a year in Changchun, Jilin Province, returned to their hometown for the New Year, quarreled with each other and parted ways.
This is, of course, an extreme case. However, for couples who live in different places, "whose house to return to during the Spring Festival" is a tricky question. Especially at a time when more and more only children are getting married, this "minefield" of the relationship between husband and wife reflects the troubles of the social transition period.
This is the trouble with the collision of tradition and reality.
It is an old principle to go back to your mother-in-law's house during the Chinese New Year. Otherwise, your father and I will lose face in front of our relatives. The woman's mother heard this and said to her daughter:
Ask your mother-in-law if she is a family planning cadre. Didn't she say when she promoted the national policy of family planning, 'The times are different, men and women are the same'? ”
This is the hidden concern of "empty nest families".
At present, about half of China's 100 million elderly people over the age of 60 live in "empty nests", suffering from the pain of "being afraid of empty when they are old". Therefore, it is particularly important to pay special attention to the Spring Festival of family reunions. However, there are more than 200 million only children in our country, and the number of "421" families has increased.
A young couple is visibly overwhelmed by the face of four elderly people. At present, the socialized pension system, which is mainly based on home-based care and supplemented by institutional care, is more about life care, lacks spiritual comfort, and there is no corresponding service to alleviate the regret of the elderly who have no children during the New Year.
This is also the trouble of couples "working without a license".
In the past, in the strong atmosphere of familialism, marriage played the role of parental service and clan inheritance. Today, China is in a period of transition and is undergoing a "nuclear family transformation", that is, a shift from the parent-child relationship to the relationship between husband and wife, and the relationship between husband and wife is increasingly valued by individuals. Unfortunately, in the face of the new situation, most couples have not undergone job training and lack guidance on modern marriage and family concepts and skills.
Love at first sight, get married. In a fit of rage, I left", and the phenomenon of flash marriage and divorce is becoming more and more prominent.
The picture of the Chinese New Year is a picture of joy and peace. If there is an unpleasant quarrel or even divorce because of "whose house to go back to during the Spring Festival", it will further weaken the realistic soil of traditional festivals. In this sense, "a family with a baby, whose home to return to during the New Year" is not only related to family harmony, but also related to social harmony, which is a proposition that needs to be solved urgently.
In this regard, the relevant departments should strengthen the capacity building of the old-age service dismantling, innovate the service mode, and enrich the service content, such as organizing the empty-nest elderly to travel for the New Year. Children should pay attention to the spiritual support and family nourishment of their parents. It's good to go home for the New Year, but it's more important to always care for and love your parents.
As an old man, we should be considerate of the difficulties of our children, empathize, and combine traditional concepts with modern consciousness.
A happy marriage is not a marriage without problems, but a marriage that is good at solving problems. Both husband and wife should have a sense of learning, know how to choose before marriage, and do not agree with each other's values. For example, machismo and feminism are seriously not elected; After marriage, if you resume this negotiation, have more understanding, and be more tolerant, you will have the wisdom of "unraveling a mess of hemp", and everything will go smoothly at home.
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1. Usually gather less and leave more, and the Spring Festival conflict broke out.
In the past, the husband and wife lived together for a long time, but now the economy is developing too fast, and the husband and wife often live separately. As we have said before, couples who live in two separate places will have less and less communication between them, and the decrease in communication will create a gap between them. Over time, the gap grows, and trust between the two parties grows.
During the Spring Festival, the two sides got together, because the long-term relationship has faded, both parties are not suitable for each other, because of a little thing The contradiction broke out, which eventually caused the relationship between the two parties to break down. Since both parties have time during the Spring Festival, they simply consider divorce.
2. The relationship has broken down, and there is just time for the Spring Festival.
Nowadays, the concept of couples has changed greatly, and many couples rarely consider divorce after marriage. Now that the economy is developing rapidly, people's perceptions are very different from those in the past. Because of the different concepts and different ways of life, the relationship between the two will also change.
Many times, the relationship between the two has been in danger, and neither of them wants to change it through hard work, but let it go.
The relationship between the two finally reached the point of no return, and the relationship finally broke down. Especially the two of them are usually busy, and they are reluctant to go home for the purpose of going through the formalities. Only during the Spring Festival, everyone has already had a holiday and needs to go home for the New Year, and it has become a natural thing to go through the divorce procedures at this time.
Therefore, many times when the relationship between husband and wife breaks down, they often choose to handle the divorce during the Spring Festival.
3. Various gatherings during the Spring Festival allow each other's feelings to be transferred.
During the Spring Festival, relatives and friends come back from all over the country to celebrate the New Year, and various gatherings are often inevitable. In the process of gathering, friends and classmates make various comparisons, and past feelings often take advantage of the atmosphere of the New Year to rekindle. So there is a popular saying in the circle of friends that class reunions are often a factor in the breakdown of the family.
Old love from the past can sometimes spark in this atmosphere and cast a shadow over your family.
There are also various comparisons in the party, and the person who looked inconspicuous when he was in school has now become a successful person. The school bully who used to be in school, the school bully in the eyes of his classmates and teachers, now receives a salary of several thousand yuan, which makes the mortgage and children's education overwhelming. Many women will feel that their current situation is because they have no choice and have a problem, and they point the unhappiness in their hearts to their husbands.
The conflict between the two will get bigger and bigger, and many end up in divorce.
Returning home for the Spring Festival and forming a peak period for divorce is not a normal phenomenon, but an abnormal phenomenon. Between husband and wife, if there is still affection, you need to manage it with your heart and not be troubled by the external environment. Let the Spring Festival go home for the New Year, and there will be fewer and fewer divorced people, so that the Spring Festival will become a festive event rather than a sad thing.
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There are several reasons for this:
First, there are now many only children and long-distance marriages. On weekdays, everyone lives away from their parents, except for overtime, they don't have time to go home to see their parents. After the Chinese New Year, I hope to go back to my home to see my parents.
If the two dry brothers are in the same area, or at least in the same direction, it will be easy to solve. If there is one south and one north, or one east and one west, there will be a dispute.
The second is that both of them feel sorry for their parents, and they both think that their parents are not easy. The older generation was thrifty, and of course they wanted to give their parents more money during the holidays. It's fine if you can treat everyone equally, but if it's thin and thick, the contradiction will naturally erupt.
The third is that young people have a lot of work pressure and want to rest and play during the holidays, and the elderly are not used to it, and there are conflicts with their families, and one party does not handle it properly.
Young people have conflicts, and no one will let anyone, so they will divorce immediately after the holiday.
I told my old colleague's son to go home for the Spring Festival. My colleague and husband both have coronary heart disease and have been coughing since Yangkang. The son hopes that the daughter-in-law will do more housework and be considerate of the elderly, and the daughter-in-law thinks that you take care of your parents and have nothing to do with me.
Colleagues are worried every day and try their best to meet the requirements of their daughter-in-law. Helplessly, the daughter-in-law is picky in every way, either the food is too salty, or the rice is too hard.
The son really didn't attack and couldn't look at it, and the two of them inevitably quarreled. Although the colleague criticized his son, he understood that such a daughter-in-law would be a loser if he stayed.
So on the first day of work, I went to the Civil Affairs Bureau.
Just like in the countryside in the past, red and white affairs were an opportunity for various contradictions to erupt in a concentrated manner. Now the Spring Festival has also become a window to expose contradictions and express human nature.
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People grow up in an environment, he has a certain dependence on this environment, that is, when he grows up and leaves this place, but when he misses it when he is a child, he will still think of this environment, because for him, this environment is the place where he grew up, and here is his other home. For many young people, when they fall in love, there is actually no reason for the two families, as long as the two people live their own happy life, they don't have to think so much, when they get married, there will be a lot of problems gradually appearing, especially about the question of whose house to go to for the New Year.
In fact, for young couples who have just gotten married, it is indeed a big problem to go to whose house to celebrate the New Year, because both of them have just gotten married, and of course everyone wants to go back to their own family for the New Year. Because if you go to the other party's house, you will actually feel a certain strangeness to a certain extent, after all, you have been spending the New Year in your own house since you were a child, and suddenly you need to go to the other half's house for the New Year, and you will definitely feel very uncomfortable. And for this young couple, in fact, more often should communicate with each other, after all, at this moment, it will become a relatively big problem to go home for the New Year, if you can communicate with each other and understand each other, to a certain extent to find a solution, then there will be no divorce, of course, there is naturally a person between the married couple to make concessions, looking for a good solution, to solve the troubles of both parties, is the most correct way, not to divorce.
For this young couple, they are too impulsive, after all, they must face a lot of problems after getting married, and they are divorced because of whose house they go to for the New Year, in fact, it is also incomprehensible, after all, marriage is a long-term process, and they will experience a lot of problems in this marriage, if two people choose to divorce on impulse, then how high the divorce rate is in this world.
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They are all elders, so there is no need to argue. You can go to your house for the New Year this year, and go to my house for the New Year next year, and when you get married, it is very important to understand each other.
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In fact, there is too little communication at ordinary times, as long as the two can cherish the relationship between husband and wife established in the past, improve the way of communication and exchange, the husband gives his wife more care, and the wife is more considerate, the relationship between husband and wife should be improved. And why don't you bring the old people on both sides together for the New Year?
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Regarding the divorce of the young couple for the New Year, I don't think there is anything to argue, because the New Year is to be happy, and they should not hurt each other's feelings in order to go to the New Year.
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I don't think it's necessary to make such a big deal about this kind of trivial matter, just take a step back and take turns every year.
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Marriage is a community of husband and wife relationships based on emotion, which can tolerate and understand each other. The starting point of returning home for the Chinese New Year is companionship and reunion. If the argument over whose house to return to becomes the fuse of the divorce, it will go against the original intention of the New Year.
In any case, the most important thing throughout the year is to return home safely for the New Year.
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I think it shouldn't be, and when I go home for the New Year, I go home to get a divorce, and I don't know what kind of situation the elders put in.
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I think that if the Chinese New Year is approaching, whether it is the in-laws and the mother-in-law's family, they should go back to take a look, the husband and wife should negotiate and have a unified idea, instead of quarreling to solve the problem, because of a trivial divorce, I feel that this marriage has no feelings at all.
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I think if you divorce because of such a trivial matter, then it means that the relationship between them, or that their three views are not together, so divorce as soon as possible may be a good choice for the other party.
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I think this incident shows that the husband and wife do not treat each other equally, discuss together, everyone's family should be respected, and everyone can rotate home for the New Year, so that conflicts can be avoided.
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