Which jokes in ancient times were made because of lack of culture?

In the memory of the Chinese New Year, there were often people who posted couplets and made jokes, all of which were losses for eating without culture.

Introduce yourself at the beginning of the school year. A Chinese classmate: I'm from a certain city, which is a populationOnlyA small city of more than three million

All the German students in the audience were deeply shocked: It turns out that there are more than 3 million people in your Chinese city, can it only be regarded as a small city?

The happiest thing is that everything is big in the north, and when you eat in the cafeteria, you can eat a bowl of rice. The most unbearable thing is that the soup is filled with starch, and every time I drink the soup, it is thicker, and for a southerner, this soup feels a little thicker and can be eaten as a staple food. Every time I beat rice, I beat the amount of food for girls, and my aunt said directly, how can a young man eat so little, oops, it's embarrassing.

We southerners really just eat rice or something, unlike these northerners, who eat steamed buns, fritters, and meat buns all day long, which is really too rich.

I'm from the north, and when I was younger, I had a lot of embarrassment going to the south. The most important thing is the weather, once I went to Hainan, it snowed heavily in the north, and I went wearing leather clothes and leather boots. When I set off, I knew that Hainan was hot, but I didn't know how hot it was.

As a result, I was completely blinded when I got off the plane, and I felt like I was wearing a cotton jacket and a sauna.

I'm from the south, and now I'm studying in the north, and I'm new here, and the geographical gap makes it difficult for me to adapt. But after a while, I got used to it, and I only took a shower once a week here, and now I have a strong taste for food, and I can drink with my classmates.

I'm from Inner Mongolia, and I have a friend from the south who comes to my house to play, and we drink here, and each person is half a pound at a time, and there is no problem. My friend came to play and drank with us every day for a week, but then he couldn't stand it anymore and went back and had a few days of fluids, and we laughed to death. I used to hear them say that southerners drink a lot of alcohol, but now that I look at it, their alcohol consumption is really average.

It's only been a week, and I'm hospitalized, and next time we don't dare to let him drink more.

When I was in college, my classmates in the dormitory came from all over the world, and they spoke like chickens and ducks. One day, a boy from Northeast China and a boy from Gansu went to buy instant noodles, and the boy from Northeast China said to himself: "What does it taste like?"

Let's have green onion beef! The Gansu boy next to him asked curiously: "What is the whole thing?"

The Northeast boy replied: "Eat, that is, eat." "In the evening, the three of us went to the bathroom, and the toilet sewer was blocked, resulting in "**10,000 taels" inside.

When the Northeast boy saw it, he was furious and said, "What's the matter?" Before the words fell, the faces of the Gansu boys behind him were as earthy as earth.

Clearly sourced. ‍‍

Some of my classmates didn't know that the bottle could be ** when they first came, and they threw all the bottles in the trash after drinking. A week later, when he finally found out that each bottle could be exchanged for money, and the more than ten bottles he threw away last week could be exchanged for a full 4 euros in total, that heartache-like expression, tsk, it was really sad for the listener to cry.

A foreigner does not know the Chinese's "**! **！It's a self-effacing word.

Once when he attended the wedding of a young overseas Chinese, he politely praised the bride for being beautiful, and the groom said on behalf of the bride: "**! **！

Unexpectedly, this friend was shocked! I can't think of general praise, the Chinese are not addicted, and they need to give examples, so they use a very blunt Chinese dialect: "Hair, eyebrows, eyes, ears, nose, mouth are beautiful!"

As a result, the wedding scene burst into laughter.

When I first arrived in Ningbo, the first thing I felt was that the lifestyle was really very different, in addition to the language, the people around me like to eat rice cakes, go to the small shop to eat after work, my colleagues love to order fried rice cakes, because I haven't eaten them, so I also ordered one, but said that it is completely unacceptable, not that it is not delicious, but this kind of thing, chewing is a little difficult, and it is not digested in my stomach, I only tried it once and no longer eat it, but I love to eat dumplings.

The Italian supermarket put up a sign for Chinese customers: "Dear customers, please stop knocking on watermelons, they really won't respond!"

A classmate went to school in another place and was asked, "Do you all go to school on horseback?" The classmate replied: Oh, rich people ride horses. But my family is poor and rides on donkeys. In fact, if you go to school, the people of Inner Mongolia will go to school!

The story of Dong Shi Xiaofeng.

Xi Shi is the "Four Great Beauties" in Chinese history.

One of them is a Yue Guo in the Spring and Autumn Period, her every move is very attractive, but it is a pity that her health is not good and she has heartache.

Once, after washing clothes by the river and preparing to go home, on the way home, she suddenly had a pain in her chest, so she held her chest with her hand and frowned. Although she looked very uncomfortable, the villagers who met her praised her for being more beautiful than usual.

There was a girl named Dong Shi in the same village, because she was not good-looking, she saw that the people in the village praised Xi Shi for her beautiful appearance with her hands, so she also learned from Xi Shi to hold her chest, frowned, and walked slowly in front of people, thinking that in this way someone would praise her. She was already ugly, and she deliberately imitated Xi Shi's movements and pretended to be weird, which made people even more disgusted. When someone saw it, they quickly closed the door; Some people hurriedly pulled their wives and children away from them, and they looked down on Dong Shi even more than before!

Translation: In the Spring and Autumn Period, there was a beautiful woman named Xi Shi in the Yue Kingdom, who was adorable in everything regardless of her gestures or her voice and smile. Xi Shi slightly used light makeup, dressed plainly, and walked to **, ** many people paid her "attention salute", and no one did not marvel at her beauty.

Shih Tzu suffers from heartache. One day, her illness happened again, and I saw her hands on her chest, her eyebrows furrowed, revealing a delicate and weak feminine beauty. As she walked through the countryside, the villagers watched with wide eyes.

There is an ugly woman in the countryside named Dong Shi, who is average in appearance and has no cultivation. She usually acts vulgarly and speaks loudly, but she dreams of being a beauty all day long. Wearing such clothes today and combing her hair like tomorrow, no one says she is beautiful.

On this day, she saw that Xi Shi covered her chest and frowned to win the favor of so many people, so after she went back, she also followed Xi Shi's example, covered her chest with her hands, frowned, and walked around the village. I don't know that this ugly girl's pretentiousness makes her look even more ugly. As a result, the rich man in the countryside saw the strange appearance of the ugly woman, and immediately closed the door tightly; When the poor man in the countryside saw the ugly girl coming, he immediately took his wife and children and ran away from him.

When people saw this strange woman who imitated Xi Shi and walked around the village, it was like seeing a plague god.

This ugly woman only knew that Xi Shi's frowning appearance was beautiful, but she didn't know why she was beautiful, and simply imitated her appearance, but was ridiculed. Everyone has to develop their strengths and avoid weaknesses according to their own characteristics, looking for an image that suits them, and it is stupid to blindly imitate the practices of others.

"The Collection of People from the Mountains" was born in the north and did not know the ling.

Those who don't know Ling in the north are in the south. The table eats the water chestnut and shells the entrance. Or say:

The food rhombus must be shelled. His people protected their shortcomings and said, "I don't know, and those who are in the shell want to get rid of the heat."

The questioner said, "Is there such a thing in the northern soil?" He replied

The front mountain and the back mountain, where is there not! "Fu Ling was born in water and said to be a native product, and he doesn't know how to know it.

There was a northerner who had never seen water chestnuts since he was born. As an official in the south, he ate water chestnuts at the banquet and put them in his mouth with the shell. Some people say:

Eat water chestnut to remove the shell. He wanted to cover up his mistake, so he said, "I don't know, I eat it with the shell to clear the heat!"

The one who asked asked, "Is there a water chestnut in the north too?" He said

On the front mountain, on the back mountain, **no? "The water chestnut obviously grows in water, but the northerner said that it grows in the soil, because he insists on saying that what he does not know is known.

The first coffee houses in Europe appeared in the mid-17th century. With the development of coffee**, the two ports of France - Le Duffle and Po.

Erdo has gradually become the center of imported coffee beans. For more than 300 years, coffee has left more than just a legacy in Bordeaux.

Coffee beans are green in color, so they are also called "green coffee". Green coffee is roasted to become a common brown coffee bean. The roasted coffee beans are crushed and then brewed or boiled in boiling water to become fragrant and delicious coffee.

Bordeaux has many coffee roasters, and although they are small, they are not defeated in competition with large companies. There is a roastery called Marshall that processes up to 125 tons of coffee beans a year. Marshall Gris, the owner of the Marshall shop, said that the green coffee is full of aroma, and the taste after roasting is even a little similar to wine, which is very attractive.

Another roastery, Sabri, supplies 200 tons of coffee a year to coffee houses, restaurants and restaurants, and in order to do better, they have to adapt to the needs of their customers. It's actually not an easy job. Henry Dyers, head of the Sabriel store, says that because the sources of coffee beans vary greatly, they must be blended together to ensure consistency to ensure the quality of the coffee.

There is also a roastery called Moggie, which is known for its unique Bordeaux taste. Christophe, the owner of the store, said that despite the increasing number of retail customers, their business has been struggling due to the economic downturn and the impact of large domestic and foreign companies.

French coffee culture has a long history, and it's not just about eating, drinking, and having fun. A cup of coffee with an afternoon of sunshine and time, this is a typical French coffee, the important thing is not the taste but the attitude and style that is scattered. French people drink coffee in particular about the environment and mood, reading, writing, talking, and killing time at the small coffee table on the side of the road.

Over the course of this century, the café has often become a centre of social activity, a club for intellectual debate, and a typical symbol of French society and culture.

There is a foreigner who is teaching the children.

The foreigner concluded: "Because the definition of something is abstract or concrete things, we are things. ”

The children laughed.

The foreigner wondered: "Aren't we things?" ”

The children laughed even harder.

My language is very cold, so I have to process it myself. ）