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Why most babies will have attachment to the mother, this is actually caused by many factors, usually when the mother takes care of the baby, the baby will be too dependent. If you want to avoid these phenomena, of course, parents must have some awareness. The task of taking care of the mother is completely entrusted, and it can also be appropriately shared with the father and grandparents, so as to reduce the hard work of the mother.
Some children chase after their mothers, which means that people in the family rarely take care of the children, which will make the children become dependent, which will also have an impact on the children.
There are many babies in life, because the time with the mother is relatively long, resulting in the baby and the mother will be very close. No matter what you do, you always want to live with your mother, such as going to the toilet or eating, and your child doesn't like to be alone there, so she always wants to be with her mother. Through a lot of simple things, I do have a sense of it, and if I don't correct it in time, it will make the child form a mom boy.
Even if you do your own thing, you can't do it independently.
There are many children who rely on their mothers, mainly because they enjoy their mother's care, and even if they face many things in life, they are willing to be with their mothers and will always choose to stay by their mother's side. Because the mother's performance is very gentle, usually the father is more strict, so the child always likes to be with the mother, in this case, in fact, the family should give the child more care.
If you want to make a real change, it is actually very difficult to be attached to your mother, and there are many things that mothers can choose to let go appropriately, not to take care of their children, and to have their own time. The child's own affairs can be exercised by the child, and it is believed that after the attention is shifted, the child will be less attached to the mother. However, during this period, the mother will also feel a sense of loss, but after a long time, it will become natural.
This is the child's ability to form a self-reliant and independent character.
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When the baby is about two years old, it is necessary to let the baby leave the mother appropriately, so that there will be no attachment.
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Let other people in the family take care of the baby, the mother should have her own life circle, and don't put all her energy on the baby.
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In the process of children's growth, children should learn to be independent, so that children can have more changes, can also make children become more excellent, and will have more benefits to children's growth.
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The term "attachment" was coined in 1969 by the British psychiatrist Bowlby. In popular understanding, "attachment" refers to a very intimate emotional relationship between the child and the mother.
The mother is the first important person in the child's life, and plays a vital role in the critical period of the child's personality formation (0-3 years old).
At this stage, how the relationship between the child and the mother is established, what kind of relationship the child will establish with others when he grows up, and what kind of social life he will have.
Psychologists have divided attachment into different types. Children with different attachment styles will have different internal work cognitive patterns, which will profoundly affect their interpersonal patterns.
Let's take a common example of a child's sabotage to see how different ways of coping with mothers can affect their children differently.
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It's normal both emotionally and physically.
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It's normal, as long as that doesn't happen.
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It is normal for a mother to know her child 10 months earlier than anyone else, both physically and psychologically.
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Doing so can change the baby's attachment to the mother:1Try to have multiple family members in the family accompany the baby, so that you can distract yourself and rely less on the mother; 2.
Try not to let the baby and the mother be alone at home; 3.It is necessary to create opportunities for the baby to exercise independently, build the child's self-confidence and distract from the mother's dependence.
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Encourage children to be as strong as a little man, psychologically influence change, and gradually become independent. Knowing how to let go properly is also a form of love. Children who rely too much on their mothers tend to be weak and willful, while children who are accompanied by their fathers tend to be strong and decisive.
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Doing so may change the baby's perception of the mother. Try to have as many family members as possible to accompany the baby in the family, so that you may break up and pay attention to the strength and rely less on the mother; Try not to let the baby and the mother get along alone at home;
It is necessary for the baby to create the opportunity for his own independent tempering, and to establish the child's arrogance.
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No matter what problems are encountered, children should be allowed to solve them by themselves, and children should be allowed to face them by themselves, parents can guide their children, but they should be allowed to complete them by themselves. You can get rid of it slowly, and you need to form a habit.
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This is a very normal behavior, usually exercise the baby's independent ability, let him complete the task by himself, parents do not accompany him all the time, let the child play games by himself, you can change the attachment to the mother.
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In general, many children like to cling to their mothers. This phenomenon is normal, but it should also be divided into age-blind groups. The degree of dependence of the child on the mother is different at different times.
Children are overly dependent on their mothers, which is not conducive to the development of children's independence, so what should parents, especially fathers, do? To solve this problem, let me share my opinion. It is normal for a child to be dependent on his mother until he or she is 3 years old.
Parents of children over the age of 3 should guide them.
Children aged 0-3 years are a critical period for developing a parent-child relationship. At this time, the child was still young and unknown to the world. When they see their mother at birth, they consider their mother to be the closest and think that their mother is the same person as themselves.
At this time, the child will stick to the mother and spin around behind the mother all day long.
This phenomenon is normal. Parents don't worry. At this time, children need the company of their mothers, and many things need the guidance of their mothers.
After the age of 3, the child has a sense of independence. At this time, parents need proper guidance if they are still dependent on their mother. After the age of 3, the child is too dependent on the mother.
How parents should guide them.
1.Cultivate children's independent cognition.
I've seen some kids who are very clingy to their mothers. It's hard to bring such a child. You know, it's tiring to take care of kids all day. Therefore, at this time, parents should instill in their children the concept: "The baby is a big child, and you must learn to protect the mother".
At this time, the germination of the child's sense of independence will slowly break away from the mother's protection and make a difference.
2.The mother consciously distanced herself from the child and left the father with her.
Knowing that the child is clinging to the mother, at this time, the mother should consciously alienate the child, sharpen her hands to let the child know that she has encountered a problem, don't always think about the mother, learn to figure out her own way, and know that the consequences of making mistakes are borne by herself. As fathers, they can observe and help their children appropriately, so that the children gradually become independent and sensible. To sum up, the big key Lu family is welcome to express some personal thoughts and suggestions on this issue, and express different opinions below the comments.
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In order to avoid this kind of situation, mothers must be appropriately ruthless, not scum and compromise when the child cries and makes trouble, to ensure that the child is not in danger of being like an ant, can ignore the child's needs, and over time the child will become independent.
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If you want to avoid it, it should be the mother who should tell the baby to be brave at ordinary times, and then don't let the mother take the baby all the time, sometimes you can also send the baby to the grandmother's house or the grandmother's house, so that the baby is more familiar with the outside rental environment, so that the baby will not be very attached to the mother.
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This is also the parents too spoiled too much too much laughing socks baby child, must he slowly learn to be independent, learn to mature, not only physical maturity, thinking to be more mature, this kind of radical in order to make the child more manly.
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First of all, the mother must cultivate the child's independence, don't spoil the child too much, and must let the child do the things that he regrets by himself.
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The baby should be educated reasonably and not overly spoiled, so as to avoid such a situation.
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Fathers can also be involved in taking care of the baby, and sometimes when the mother goes out shopping, or when she goes to work, the father can take care of the baby, so that the baby will not be overly attached to the mother.
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If the baby is overly attached to the mother, the mother needs to deliberately cultivate the child's sense of independence, and let the father or family help take the child, share the child's attention, take the child out to participate in various activities, improve the child's wide interest, and reduce the child's dependence on the mother.
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Mothers should keep some distance from their children, let their children complete some things independently, and let their children learn to solve problems independently, and parents should not spoil their babies too much.
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Many babies are more attached to their mothers, how to make babies attached to their fathers?
1. The most practical emotional expression of the child.
Many children are 1-3 years old and are very dependent on their mothers, but not on their fathers. This situation is widespread and normal. , there are some obvious children, and even the father cries when he hugs him, which makes the father inevitably very sad.
But mom and dad don't have to be sad, because this is not static, it doesn't mean that children don't like their fathers very much.
2. Children need people they know more well.
The younger the child, the more he or she must be the most familiar with someone. For example, in the neonatal stage, the child has to get to know a person for a longer period of time and create a relationship of trust. Compared with parents, mothers who take care of their children more often are more reasonable than fathers.
Therefore, for children of one or two years old, the mother and child are the most trusted and dependent people.
3. Children like to be fixed and familiar in the environment.
For a child of this age, the world around is too big and unfamiliar. Many things can make a child feel insecure, so he looks forward to the natural environment around him, and the more he stays still, the better he understands. Therefore, when taking care of him, it is best to let the people of Dazhou he is familiar with actually operate, which will make him feel a sense of belonging.
How to change this.
1. Parents should have a clear division of labor and work together to take care of children.
If the child is determined not to be taken care of by the father, the father can take on some other household chores to relieve the pressure on the mother. Naturally, mom and dad don't have to worry too much, this unique phase is very brief and will pass quickly.
2. The mother should always praise the father in front of the baby's eyes.
Taking care of children and loving children is a mutual affair between the two. Mothers can often praise their fathers in front of their baby's eyes and help them build prestige and authority. Fathers also need to take care of their children with their mothers and play with them, and gradually the children will love their fathers.
3. Caring for children does not have to be arbitrary.
When it comes to caring for a baby, the mother doesn't have to be independent. Instead, she should take care of her father, and she shouldn't think that her father will help Zheng Xiao more and more, and give her a little time. Precautions: Love is two, home is two, and babies are two.
4. Create a space for dad and children to be alone.
Try to create some time for the father and the child to interact independently, for example, when the mother goes to cook, let the father play with the child, make some mobile games, and tell some short stories. When you come home from work every day, you can bring a small gift for your child. When you go out and go home, you can tell your children about the cultural customs outside, look at photos, etc.
All in all, find ways to get your child familiar with his dad as early as possible and create a trusting connection.
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When the child has a problem, the father should help the child solve it in a timely manner, and increase the time that the father and the child get along.
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Let the father play more parent-child games with the baby in normal times, and increase the familiarity of each other in the game, so that the baby will become dependent on the father.
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Because the child's mother brings a lot, so relying on the mother can let the father usually accompany her more, and naturally the father will also have attachment.
Generally, at the age of two or three, the attachment to the mother is the most obvious, because at this time the baby is already very affectionate to his mother, and he can't do without his mother at all.
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