Why is it that the closer people are, the easier it is to hurt each other?

Because the relationship between two people is very good, so when you are particularly angry, you will vent your emotions to your friends, so the people who are particularly close to you will unscrupulously show your particularly bad side, so on the side of your own special anger, you will be particularly easy to hurt your closest people, I myself am also such a person, when I am particularly angry, it is easy to put my temper to the people closest to me, and it is also the easiest to hurt others.

Because the closer people are, the more they care about each other, they will care about each other all the time in their lives or feelings, and give others some advice when they make some decisions, but sometimes the degree of this advice is very bad, and they will want to impose all their thoughts on others, which will cause harm to others.

Because when you communicate with people who are close to you, then your tone will become more and more relaxed, and sometimes some words will blurt out without concealment, so you will inadvertently say something hurtful to the other person. The main reason is that because they have been together for a long time, two people are becoming more and more familiar, in fact, the more familiar they are, the more we should respect each other in our hearts.

Because most of the people in this world are kinder and know how not to infringe on the interests of others, there is no intersection between you and strangers and you will not hurt others. So when you have some daily intersections, you are close to the people around you, so any of your practices and some behavioral habits are dealing with the people close to you, and it will be easy to hurt them for so long, and it is also because you are close to him that he trusts you very much, once you deceive them or have a little practice, you feel that they are very unpleasant.

The closer the person cares about the other party, the more they care about the other party, the easier it is to find the other party's faults, and then hope that the other party will change the place they are not used to, but the easier it is to cause the other party's disgust, the other party will hide something from you, it will cause suspicion, and the more the suspicion cares, the worse it will be, and the result will be harmful.

Because generally the closer people will occasionally see our truest side, maybe we are very polite to the outside world or have a better personality in all aspects, but maybe for the outside world, we are like wearing a mask, so at this time when we return home, we often show our most polite side to others, but show our most impolite side to the people closest to us, and then cause harm.

Generally, the closer people are to you, the easier it is to understand what your own weaknesses are and how to make you unhappy, so the closer people are, they often feel very familiar, and they don't pay attention to many problems, such as chatting or some details of life, so they will hurt the people they are closer to.

Because generally the closer the people, for us to know us best, but also we know the best, so sometimes, our truest side is also, the most irrational side is often shown to them, so at this time, it is because we have some temper, we also found that it was given to them, at this time it is easy to say that it hurts them.

In fact, I think it may be because everyone has a bit of their own image baggage, where even if there are no idols to retaliate, but their image will be better to make friends in the eyes of outsiders. For outsiders, losing their temper will not hurt outsiders, because they will feel that this is not polite behavior, but for those close to them. All ugliness will be shown in front of people close to you, so you will vent some bad emotions, because only in front of people close to you can you release your psychology.

As two people become closer, expectations of each other become higher and higher. will think of each other very perfectly. Yue Qianyue's words, so the more he longs to be treated gently by the other party.

The two of you are too familiar, so the other party can easily poke your sensitive points, and we will subconsciously fight back.

Because the more you love someone, the more you want to give him the best, but the person you love doesn't think that what you give is suitable for him, not what he likes, he has always loved the most, and one is not needed, so there will be disagreements. As long as you can communicate openly and equally, there will be no harm.

In fact, the closer the person, the more the two sides will understand, in understanding each other's advantages, will also understand each other's shortcomings, understand some of each other's advantages, and will also understand some of each other's pains.

I think it may be that for people close to him, he will send all his temper to them, because in front of people close to him will always be an ugly image, but for outsiders, you need to pay attention to the image, so you won't lose your temper with outsiders at all, and for people close to him, he won't say that he has to consider whether he has a problem with this attitude, and for outsiders, he must maintain an image of himself.

In the process of interacting with people, we will find an interesting phenomenon, that is, the better our temper will be when we associate with people who are more distant, and the worse our temper will become when we associate with people who are closer to each other, and the reason why this is the case is because:

1. When interacting with unfamiliar people in the state, we dare not fully release our feelings and will be cautious. When we interact with people we don't know well, because we don't know each other, we don't dare to fully release our feelings in front of each other, but we will be cautious, for fear of making the other person angry and hurting ourselves because of our bad performance. We tend to have a good temper when we interact with strangers, and we don't have seizures even when we are unhappy.

2. In front of the closest people, our brother has no scruples and can fully reveal his true feelings. When you interact with the person closest to you, because the other party is your closest person and you know each other best, you will have no scruples and dare to fully reveal your feelings, and if you are unhappy, you will show it unreservedly, that is, you are not afraid of envy and rent making the other party unhappy. We are prone to tantrums when we associate with those closest to us.

3. When we are hurt, we tend to vent our frustrations in front of the people we know best. For the things that are unhappy about him, he doesn't dare to say or do anything in front of outsiders, so he can only hold his unhappiness in his heart. But when we are with the people closest to us, we can vent our dissatisfaction without scruples and release all the grievances we have suffered.

This kind of practice will bring harm to the people closest to you, which is the most fundamental reason why you will always give your bad temper to the people closest to you.

In daily life and at work, there is a strange phenomenon: the more unfamiliar people are, the more polite and gentle they are; For those who are closer, they are hot and cold, and their attitude is arrogant. That's it, the people closest to us (e.g., partner, family member, close friend, co-worker) are most likely to make us angry; We also often hurt those close to us either directly (e.g., physical or verbal aggression) or indirectly (e.g., spreading rumors, keeping quiet in response).

Analyzing the reasons, I think there are three:

The first reason is to have high expectations for you. It is often said that "hating iron does not make steel", so it shows a meanness that ordinary people can't understand, and of course it won't be the case with outsiders.

The second reason is that you think you can delay things. Relying on a good relationship, they neglect etiquette. There is an old Chinese saying that "familiarity is not formal". It means that between familiar people, there is no need to stick to etiquette.

The third reason is that the cost of hurting those close to you is low. It is also easy to understand that after the words of ordinary colleagues or friends are hurt, a gap will be formed, and it is difficult to make up for it. Loved ones are not, a few words can make up for it.

We all seem to have gotten used to keeping a safe distance from strangers, or guarding ourselves everywhere to prevent trouble. In front of his relatives, he seems to be covered with thorns, always unscrupulously showing his teeth and claws, and never willing to wronged himself. Psychologists say that this may be because we always feel that the relationship with relatives and lovers is too close, so we subconsciously think that the other party can tolerate everything about themselves, and everything they do for themselves is taken for granted, especially between husband and wife, who understand each other almost thoroughly but can't always accept it calmly, complain to each other that they can't find similarities, and can tolerate the shortcomings of outsiders but always sharply find fault with the embarrassment of their closest people, and sometimes even say heartbreaking words to each other. It seems that any outsider can easily take the place of the other.

However, it seems that it is only when we really leave that we understand that what we miss most in our hearts may be those initial warmths. We can smile at a stranger, we can lend a helping hand to a passerby, but we can always hurt our nearest and dearest people mercilessly, show our most rebellious side to the people who love us the most, how many people will find a high-sounding excuse for hurting their loved ones, and make love and family affection the farthest distance in the world. It's just that the people closest to us are always unsuspectingly good to us, and we are the easiest to ignore it, take it for granted, and don't care about them.

And only the relatives who love us the most have witnessed almost all of our bad tempers and silently endured all our negative emotions. How many people are like this, it is especially easy to say "dear", "like you", "love you" to friends; It's hard to say to your family, "Thank you", "I'm sorry", "I love you", "I have a lot of love in my heart, but I can't say it." ”

One of the reasons why there can be quarrels and conflicts between people close to us is that we have higher expectations of their posture. We may expect someone close to us to understand and support us better, but we may feel disappointed, hurt, or angry when their behavior doesn't match our expectations.

In addition, people close to us are also more likely to reach our sensitive points and weaknesses. Because they know us and know what words or actions might stab us. In arguments or conflicts, people may use hurtful ways to express their emotions or gain an advantage.

In addition, there is also a dynamic of power and control in intimate relationships. Some people may abuse their intimacy with the other person in order to control, manipulate, or harm the other person.

However, it is important to realize that hurting others is not an effective way to solve problems or build healthy relationships. Establishing good communication, respecting the other person's feelings, and seeking compromise and understanding are better ways to deal with conflict in intimate relationships.

If you find frequent hurtful behavior in your intimate relationship, you may need to revisit whether the relationship is healthy and consider appropriate actions to protect your mental and emotional well-being.

The philosopher Schopenhauer once lamented that in nature, only human races choose to harm each other.

The relationship between people is actually very complex and volatile. Maybe one moment it's a friend, the next it's an opponent. Maybe one moment it's a lover, the next it's an enemy.

Why do we often say that "you can't have the heart to harm others, and you can't have the heart to prevent people"?

It's because we don't hurt others, and we don't necessarily mean that others don't harm us. Perhaps, we can maintain a certain amount of kindness towards others, but it is not known whether others can maintain kindness towards us.

I have seen such two brothers, they have a very good relationship, they have money to earn together, and they have hardships together. However, after their parents left, their relationship changed dramatically.

The two brothers, who were originally harmonious, are now calculating each other for property and fighting endlessly for a little profit. The two sides were like demons stunned, turning their faces and denying people.

Just imagine, my brothers will settle accounts, so how can we talk about outsiders who are not familiar with us?

The so-called "people do not hurt the tiger, and the tiger harms people's hearts". You don't have the intention of hurting the tiger, but the tiger still comes to hurt you. This is the most cruel place in the world.

Those who want to hurt you often have the following 4 characteristics, and no matter how good the relationship is, you should stay away.

Those who want to hurt you often take "profit" as particularly important.

These three questions have been raised.

In your eyes, is money more important, or is life more important?

In your eyes, is wealth important, or are friends important?

In your eyes, is it important to have interests or feelings?

For these three questions, in fact, everyone has their own answer. It's just that we're too embarrassed to say it.

In this world, at least 80 percent of the people will think that "interests" are particularly important. In their eyes, they can not believe in feelings, they can not believe in relatives and friends, but they cannot not believe in money.

Like this kind of person who doesn't even believe in feelings, then he will do whatever it takes for "profit", even if he does not hesitate to do things like "people die for money, birds die for food".

Don't think of people as too kind, don't think of people as too great. There is no cat in this world who does not steal, and there is no one who is not greedy for money. Suffice it to say, stay away from people who value interests too much, or they will hurt you.

People who always like to "compare with each other" tend to hurt you.

In human nature, there is such a characteristic, that is, they like to "compare". No matter how you are doing, whenever he has time, he will compare you to him.

The result of the comparison is actually very simple, it's just who is doing well and who is not doing well. It is also such a result that makes people have the psychology of "harming others".

If you are doing well, he will feel unhappy and wonder, why are you doing so well? But if you're not doing well, he will feel very satisfied, thinking that it's because you don't work hard.

For this mentality, the folk use this 6 words to summarize, that is, "hate people, laugh at people".

In your daily life, try to stay away from people who don't want you to live well and fall into the trap. You know, these people will harm you at every opportunity, and you can't prevent it at all.