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In most family concepts, parents are dominantAge status is higher than that of children. Many parents think they are right, and even if they make mistakes, they are not willing to bow their heads and apologize first.
The relationship between parents and children should be equal. As parents, they should respect their children's opinions, refrain from adopting compulsory educational methods, and form a good atmosphere of communication with their children. Only in this way can children grow.
In the process of educating children,If parents do make mistakes, they should have the courage to admit them to their children in order to gain their understanding. Only then will they be able to communicate with their children.
There are three kinds of education that a person should receive in their life, namely, family education, school education, and social education。As the earliest and most influential basic form of education, family education plays a very important role in the growth of the younger generation and is irreplaceable for school education.
As a parent, you should look at yourself and reflect on yourself, not just thinking about your child's faults. After all, they are all adults, and they should clearly think about the contradictions with their children.
Think about why children think that way, do that, and think from the child's point of view. Check if your thoughts are too self-centered and idealistic.
Think about the tone in which you are speaking to your child at that timeWhether it is too harsh and whether the child can accept it.
Look for opportunities to express your ideas with your childStart by expressing your understanding of your child, and then say what you think so that he understands you.
Parents can try to communicate more with their children and become their friends. The relationship between parents and children should not be a rigid superior-subordinate relationship with class consciousness, but should be gentle and harmonious.
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Because the child is immature in thought. After the quarrel, I didn't want to make my parents sad, so I apologized directly.
At present, the generation gap is the most intractable problem between parents and children, especially between parents and only children. The so-called generation gap refers to the reflection of the different worldviews and outlooks on life of the two generations on certain issues, which will affect the normal emotional communication between the two generations.
One. Physically: Parents are older than their children, so they are more mature than their children, both physically and psychologically.
Parents also have more experience and experience than us, and their work is more careful and thoughtful than ours. So they have the ability to take appropriate steps to communicate with their children. If parents
If they don't, creating a generation gap between themselves and their children, the main responsibility lies with the parents.
Two. Build self-confidence for children.
Inventor Edison, he had a strong thirst for knowledge since he was a child, and he liked to get to the bottom of it. He asked the teacher "why 2 equals 4", so he created a catastrophe. Just three months into school, he was ordered to drop out.
His mother, very sad and indignant, was determined to educate her son herself, build his self-confidence, teach him literature, physics and chemistry, and cultivate in him a love of learning and science.
Edison's thirst for knowledge was further stimulated. The sprout of a "genius" grew imperceptibly and eventually became a world-famous inventor. So, success comes from self-confidence, builds trust, and comes from the common sense of the people around us.
Fathers do not appreciate their children. Where does their faith come from? Edison Our mother did not appreciate her son, so there is no inventor Edison today.
Three. From the point of view of family status: parents are the masters of the family, and they hold economic power.
As a role model for children to learn, they can't put down the shelves all the timeFace to face, so you can't communicate with your child on an equal footing. In order to maintain the prestige and dignity of their parents, they are reluctant to accept all kinds of suggestions from their children and always like their children's obedience. Parental primacy can lead to a generation gap between parents and children.
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Children and their parents live in different eras, have different life experiences, and have different ways of thinking. Children belong to the weaning period in the life period, and the rebellious psychology is more frequent.
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The junior high school stage is the stage when children "turn over the hurdles", due to various reasons, the academic performance has declined, and the parents are more anxious and impetuous. When there is antagonism between the child and the parent, the parent should calm down.
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Marriage, house and other issues, and some have to retire or evaluate job titles and other work matters. As a child, we should help mothers realize that birth, old age, sickness and death are the laws of natural development.
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There is only one contradiction between parents and children, and that is the difference in ideology!
1. There is a big deviation between parents' concept of things and that of their children, such as the two huge boos in the process of running for three years after graduation: work and object. Parents have been instilling in their children the truth of life, rather than letting them experience and grow up on their own in this era.
2. Parents don't know about their children. At the student stage, I only think about my studies and look at my grades, and if my grades are not good, I will make up for them, and if my grades are good, I will be free-range. When the children graduate and enter the society, they encounter difficulties and choices, only to find that they do not understand the real thoughts of the children.
In the past, they only thought about adding clothes when they were cold, making food when they were hungry, buying things and giving money, and giving their children everything they thought was good, but they didn't know what their children really wanted and needed.
3. There is no way to communicate effectively between parents and children, I mean the period when there is a disagreement before it is a serious contradiction, many parents have traditional thinking, as if parents say that children should obey and do what they say, once their children put forward opposite ideas or things they cannot understand, they will have an angry mood: increase the decibel of speech.
Speak with anger. Or make very negative accusations: you just do what you do every day......What are you going to do if you go on like this......Or talk about the difficulty of your parents, talk about their expectations, and hope you can be sensible.
Children are based on communication to solve problems and alleviate conflicts, but the result of parents' communication is either quarrels or cold wars, the contradictions continue to intensify, children are unwilling to communicate anymore, mental pressure and pain, into a vicious circle.
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Summary. Dear, glad to answer for you. Common contradictions between parents and children:
1. Cognitive bias between parents and childrenCognitive bias between parents and children will lead to parents making unreasonable demands on their children and exercising unreasonable control. "You were born to me, you have to listen to me", the mother's unreasonable demands and control lead the child to rebel. After being treated unreasonably, children either rebel against their parents or self-denial, with a low sense of self-worth and a lack of security.
Common conflicts between parents and children.
Dear, glad to answer for you. Common conflicts between parents and children: 1. There is a cognitive bias between parents and childrenThe cognitive bias between parents and children will lead to parents making unreasonable demands on their children and exercising unreasonable control.
"You were born to me, you have to listen to me", the mother's unreasonable demands and control lead the child to rebel. After being treated unreasonably, children either rebel against their parents or self-denial, with a low sense of self-worth and a lack of security.
Two. The personality of the parents and the child is not soundThe personality of the parent will directly affect the parent-child relationship, in this case, the child is hit and hurt, and does not dare to make choices for his life. Parents are the first teachers of children, and their words and deeds will affect their children.
If the parent's personality is not sound, then the child has no role model. 3. Improper handling of interpersonal relationships between parents and children This refers to the constant touching of interpersonal boundaries in the parent-child relationship, which is very common in single-parent families. It is mainly manifested in the absence of a father or mother, and in order to take care of the emotions of adults, the child takes on family responsibilities prematurely.
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At the moment when I go home from work for many years and have a reunion dinner, I feel that the more I grow up, the more family affection is rare and valuable.
We must learn to value and cherish family affection, learn to understand the difficulties of our parents, and get along with them happily and friendly, so that life will become better and sunnier, so we usually try to improve ourselves, make ourselves better and get along with our parents will be more harmonious, and the ways to improve ourselves are as follows:
1.Pay more attention to reading in your daily life.
Books are wise**, the more books you read, the more wise you will become, people who read often have breadth and depth when thinking about problems, it is easier to solve problems appropriately in a wise way, and often read books when thinking and dealing with problems, more independent and rational, can expand our horizons and increase our knowledge.
2.Have the courage to admit your shortcomings.
It is not terrible to have shortcomings, what is terrible is not to face up to and correct it, shortcomings and advantages can be transformed into each other, the premise is to correctly understand and correct the deficiencies in a down-to-earth manner, everyone has their own shortcomings, but the focus is to understand and recognize and value them, with their own actions and positive attitudes to make changes, so that they become more and more credible.
3.Do things with the power of action.
Reflect your initiative and positive attitude with action, prove your ability and level, and be full of positive and independent actions can effectively improve your ability, continue to learn in action, explore suitable methods for yourself, accumulate and summarize experience, so as to make yourself more and more excellent.
4.Learn from people you admire.
The reason why you admire that person is because they have a certain good quality that we don't have, and this good quality is the direction we need to learn, so learn from the people you admire, so that you can continue to effectively improve your knowledge level and ability, so that you can become a better talent.
5.Learn to summarize yourself.
Let yourself be completely quiet, think about whether there is anything wrong with dealing with people that day, carefully reflect on whether there are deficiencies in your communication style, and know how to introspect and summarize, in order to accurately find your own shortcomings, and then you can better improve and improve yourself.
In fact, parents and children should be friends, communicate and exchange well, and explain any problems face to face. In this way, it is beneficial to the growth of children.
You should take the initiative to reconcile with your roommates and propose the best of both worlds for the problem. Of course, if your roommate is unreasonable, then it is recommended to change to another roommate.
The essence of family education is to give priority to educating people, emphasizing self-discipline, self-study, and self-reliance. >>>More
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Parents should first be emotionally calm.
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