What if you can t forget someone?

If you can't forget it, don't forget to put her {him} in the deepest part of your heart

What should I do if I miss the "right" person?

Dear Dr. Zhang:

I am 28 years old and a lawyer. More than a year ago, I left his city for the sake of my career, and he proposed to me to break up, and I agreed. But he regretted it at the time and kept trying to get back together with me.

But I was very angry, so I didn't agree. After half a year, I felt that I should give the relationship another chance, but he told me that he had a girlfriend.

He's free, but I'm not. Am I missing the right person? Or maybe he wasn't the right person in the first place? I'm struggling, how can I free myself?

Yanbo dear yanbo:

Have you missed the right man? Good question, only by untying this knot can you truly liberate yourself.

Let me share with you an experience of my own. When I was studying in the United States many years ago, I loved a pair of sunglasses that I believed would match the shape of my face. One day, I was chagrined to lose it, thinking that the best sunny view on my face would never be easy to find again.

Many years later, my caring husband helped me find the exact same glasses, but when I put them on, I found that although they still fit my face, they no longer match my current work and state of mind. Hehe, the perfect match that I can't forget in my heart is actually just a loss and regret, it's funny enough, right?!

You will find that in order to define whether people and things in life are "right" or "wrong", the judgment formula is very important.

To be honest, there is more than one person of the opposite sex in this world who is suitable for you and me (I still often find many men around me fascinating, ha!). ), and the "right partner" is often unique. The right man appears at the right time, and he is the "right partner" for you and me.

Those who appear too late to be loved, or who appear too early and are not ready to love, no matter how good they are, are not a perfect match for you in this life.

If you think about this, you will understand that you may have missed out on a good partner, but now that you are ready to love, you will have a better chance of meeting the right partner. Good luck!

Zhang Yiyun. This article is a column for "Love Credit Q&A" of ELLE magazine, September 2009.

If you can't forget it, just remember it

What kind of relationship are you talking about in this situation? Love or friendship? If you feel guilty about your current lover because of love, you don't have to.

If you can't forget it, why forget it, isn't it good to treat it as a good memory? Or, if your current lover is considerate enough of you, then be honest with her so that your guilt is gone. If it's a friend or a deceased person, if it hurts to remember it, then try not to remember it.

The principle of the method of not wanting to think is to try not to let yourself see things and think about people, and try to divert your attention when you think about it. Spend less time alone and go out with friends more and so on. Hope it helps.

It is a kind of happiness to meet the right person at the right time; It is a kind of sadness to meet the wrong person at the right time; Meeting the right person at the wrong time is a sigh; Meeting the wrong person at the wrong time is a kind of helplessness. Actually, I don't blame her, and now I have figured it out, we just met at the wrong time."

The more you try to forget a person, the more you may remember him in the end. The best way to forget the person you love is to fall in love with another person, but this method is too difficult, and it is already a very lucky thing to be able to truly fall in love with someone in this world ......

Find someone better than you.

Best. The quickest thing is to find someone else to replace her, but that takes determination.

If you can't forget it, keep it, and it's okay to think about it from time to time, and if you think about it too much, you will figure it out.

It's a painful thing for people to always live in their memories, and it's better to find something to do for yourself! Don't think about the unhappy things! There will always be more happiness than trouble, and there will be more friends than enemies! Wishing you a happy and happy day!

What should I do? You can only find someone to fall in love with, and you can forget about it.

When you can't have it, the only thing you can do is not to forget.

Try to make yourself think of another person.

First of all, you must not say that you have forgotten someone, you are not a machine, in fact you can't forget anyone at all (except for the random ones you look at when you walk on the street), this person has left you more or less, sad or happy memories, you should feel precious, because he has written a lot of experiences in your life, so don't forget someone, try how to accept him like a friend.

Secondly, you should be careful with the word "love", from the situation you described, you are in love with two people at the same time, note that it is like, not love. When you are truly in love with someone, you will understand that no matter what the other person does, and no matter what other person of the opposite sex is better to attract you, you will not be moved by it, and you will love your loved one even more. Of course, it will take time to test both of you.

Liking and loving are two different things, liking does not need to be responsible, we can like anyone, we know and those we don't know, we can say we like; Love is not, it needs you to be responsible, there is a heart in the traditional Chinese writing of love, which means that whether a person has love is to be measured with the heart.

You said that you are in love with two people at the same time, and from what I know about you now, you are not very old, you are not deeply involved in the world, and you are in a period of ignorance. Are you thinking about the future? Since you said that you fell in love with him "far away" first, may I ask, have you fulfilled your obligation to love someone, if you love him, you should believe in him, and let him believe in himself, he can do anything for the other party, even death!

Then you should have this sacred responsibility on your shoulders! A person who falls in love with two people at the same time is a person who has no sense of responsibility.

That's why I said that you don't fall in love with two people at the same time, but you like two people at the same time, and you are not wrong, you need to think calmly before falling in love with someone, it is a test for you, but there is no need to have too much pressure. Personally, I think that if you don't delay your studies, you can find a relative or friend you can trust to talk about this matter, or directly tell the two people you like, then you can make a choice from the statements of these two people, but it takes more courage.

When you can't forget someone, you will find that this person has slowly faded out of your memory.

Time can fade everything)

It's usually hard to forget that people are of the opposite sex, and I don't know if you're in the same situation?

If it is, it is difficult to forget it actively, find someone to replace it, transfer your energy, and it will naturally forget, don't get into the horns of everything.

1. Keep hinting at yourself. There is a method in psychology that is very effective to fight against what you are afraid of and what you don't want to do, and that is to suggest, so you should also hint at yourself, and you must keep hinting at yourself, you must forget that person, and do not bring pain to your life.

2. Leave the circle with TA. We have heard a saying, the so-called: out of sight and out of mind, so if your conditions are okay, or your emotions have reached the point where you can't control them, stay away from the circle or environment with him!

It would be better to withdraw from the carrier of this memory.

3. Devote yourself to busy work. Or the way you use it when you are alone is to devote yourself to your busy work, and you go to work wholeheartedly, and when you are so tired that you don't want to talk or move, you won't think about it. So get busy!

4. Make new friends. If you can't forget someone, maybe it's because you have too many memories about him around you, such as mutual friends, common environment, etc., so go make new friends! The world is so big, everyone is different and interesting, so try to reach out to others.

5. Change the environment. The best way to forget a person is to change the environment, completely get away from all the memories related to this person, go to a new environment, face different environments, we will meet different people and things, so we will also meet it with tension and relaxation!

6. Cultivate hobbies. If it is an interesting person, I believe that this person will think of many ways to forget about this person, such as constantly developing his own interests and hobbies, having a hobby, can take a break from the irritable and tired life and run his own small world.

If you can't forget someone, you don't have to deliberately want to forget, you can enrich yourself first, do something that can make you excellent, distract yourself, and then let time slowly dilute everything, even if this time may be a little long, you have to believe that nothing can't survive, no matter how deep the love is, no matter how beautiful the memories are, but the end is the end. Be realistic.

It can take a long time to forget someone, but if you use it in the right way, it will be less painful. If you want to forget a person, there is actually a way, since it is already in the past tense, then try to accept the reality and persuade yourself to let go, instead of continuing to entangle, which will only make two people embarrassed. Don't blame yourself too much, thinking that everything is your own fault, and it is your own not good enough that it will lead to such a result.

Since they have separated, let's be decent, leave a good impression on ourselves, instead of resenting each other, and get together and disperse, which is the respect for each other. The best way to forget a person is actually like this. 2 good to get together and disperse, is the respect for each other, the so-called fate is destined, not that you want to be together can be together, since you are destined to be separated, then don't let yourself continue to entangle, say goodbye to each other, and from then on, the end of the world is strange, each living its own life.

Some people are too entangled, feel that they can't just forget it, and want to go back to the past, but the more they demand, the more they can't get what they want, and finally find that everything is just too persistent. Since such a result has been doomed, it is better to get together and disperse, say cherish each other, and live their respective lives well, which is also respect for each other. Don't resent each other, or even turn against each other, there is no need, after all, having loved each other, it is better to end it with dignity.

Accept the reality, don't blame yourself too much, there are still some people, they always can't accept the reality, they are obviously separated, but she feels that the other party is still by her side, and she will contact him as before and ask him to meet. The other party may be embarrassed and will reply to her message, but after a long time, she doesn't want to be perfunctory, and then she understands that everything is a foregone conclusion and everything cannot be changed. Now that you are separated, accept the reality and allow yourself to adapt to life without him as soon as possible, instead of dwelling on the past and not being able to extricate yourself.

Don't blame yourself too much, think that everything is your fault, if you don't do well enough, he won't leave you, in fact, it's not like this, if a person wants to leave, even if you do well, he will still leave you. It has nothing to do with whether you do well or not, it only has to do with whether he loves you or not, and if you understand this, you don't have to blame yourself too much. Let go of the past in order to move forward better.

No matter how beautiful the past is, it is also a thing of the past, we must learn to let go, let go of the past, let go of obsessions, and let ourselves be reborn, only in this way can you move forward and you can live a good life in the future. Now that you are separated, let yourself accept the reality and accept the days without him by your side, only in this way can you slowly let go; Even if you can't be together, let each other get together and disperse, this is a respect for the past feelings, and it is also an explanation to each other, which is better than turning against each other;

More importantly, learn to let go of the past, let go of obsessions, let yourself look forward, stride forward, and when you do, you can slowly forget the past and regain your life.

When you want to forget someone, the clearer the brain will make you remember that person, which may be what we usually say, the more you want to forget, the harder it is. To really be able to forget the other person, you need to downplay the influence that this person brings to you, don't force yourself to think about it every day, forget it, forget it, it's best to go with the flow. At the same time, time is the best antidote, when the time is long enough and you have more meaningful things to do, he will give you less and less influence, the sense of presence will be lower and lower, and you will not think about the other person.

The hardest part is often at the beginning, after this nerve-wracking time, sticking to not thinking deliberately, diverting one's attention, it will get better and better.

Hello, dear, this just shows that you are very fond of it: it may be at the age when the love sinus is beginning to tremble, and you like a person from Eggplant Town, which leads to the situation of always thinking about this person. In this regard, it is recommended to chat with friends more, do more things that you are interested in, and divert attention, which is a very good behavior.