Why do you always treat children as adults?

In the process of educating children's financial quotient, there is a very important ability to cultivate, that is, the ability to delay gratification. In fact, not only in financial education, but also in the overall education of children, the ability to delay satisfaction needs to be paid attention to by parents.

However, on the other hand, most parents are extremely lacking in the ability to delay gratification in the process of getting along with their children. For a long time, this has been a common problem of Chinese parents, who are usually too anxious in the process of education, trying to save as quickly as possible, and mostly pulling out seedlings to help them grow, leaving no room for their children.

For example, when a child sees someone, he keeps urging him to say hello, and when he does something wrong, he keeps urging him to apologize, and parents will keep asking his child, have you called someone, have you apologized; As soon as the child shows a little unhappiness and a little grievance, he keeps asking the child what happened; All kinds of training and talents are hurried to take the certification and examination as soon as possible; Ask your child to correct his mistake immediately but not give him time; When you have a conflict with your child, you will immediately have to divide the winner and lose, and you will not accept the common ground while reserving differences; If the child's love partner is not satisfied, he asks them to break up immediately; Children don't fall in love, they are anxious, and they are in a hurry, and they have to start a family ...... immediately

It seems that from childhood to adulthood, parents do not give children time to change their emotions and attitudes, for example, when the child wants to express his wishes, you may completely ignore his expression, or even express rejection with a resolute attitude.

There is one of the most classic scenes, the child sees the toy he wants in the mall, and expresses his wishes to the parents, at this time, what do the vast majority of parents do? They don't set aside a little bit of time for the child to be like "you are thinking about it" and "you think about it again", but directly ask the child to give up, and start dragging the child away like a great enemy, what will happen at this time? I think you must have seen it in the shopping mall, where children kept crying and even playing tricks on the ground, and parents angrily scolded and even forcibly took them away.

Why can't even parents accept their children's negative emotions, why can't they cry for a while when their children are sad and sad because they feel rejected? Not to mention children, adults still need to immerse themselves in negative emotions for a while when they encounter something bad, not to mention children, when they are sad, sad, angry or even depressed, why do you ask them to immediately transform their emotions and always be a positive little sun?

Just like Lu Xun's way of getting along with his younger brother described in "Kite", in the face of the dispute with his younger brother, Lu Xun said, "In terms of growth and strength, he is no match for me, of course I got a complete victory, so I walked out proudly, leaving him to stand in the hut in despair." What happened to him, I don't know, and I didn't pay attention. "I don't know and don't pay attention to this gesture, how many parents don't care about their children when they face them?

Maybe we have been adults for too long and have long forgotten what children look like, but as Rousseau said, a bad way of education always treats children as adults, does not consider children's problems, but forces them to accept what only adults should know.

The big ones should be given to the small ones, "Is there a scientific basis?" These three points need to be known first.

This is very common in the family with two or even three children, grabbing a toy, who eats snacks first, etc., and it is inevitable that quarrels will occur. It is common to say to the older child, "You are older, let him go, he is not sensible, are you still ignorant", similar words. They often don't know what the truth is.

2.Yes, the big ones should let the small ones, this is because the orange letter is because the child is older and knows more. Although the older ones are more likely to obey what the parents say, the parents are better at disciplining their children.

But such an approach will leave the seeds of injustice in the hearts of older children. It will also make the little children more and more willful, and the more brutal their personalities, they feel nothing when they are young, and the older they are, the more they regret it.

3.The big ones must give way to the small ones, and this is also true in some cases. Just like a small child has a docile personality, and a big child has a more domineering and willful personality, at this time the older child is right to let the child.

Let the child have in this kind of thinking respectively what are the harms.

1.When a child has this kind of thought, he will become selfish and domineering, and everything good should be his, and he can snatch things from his brother and sister unreasonably, even if his brother and sister tell his father and mother, they will want to look at me, because I am young, and I have "privileges". This is unfair to older children, and it will even leave a shadow on the child's heart.

2.If the older child has this kind of thought, then he will become inferior and rebellious, and some children will even think "am I biological", if I am biological, why do my parents dislike me, only my younger siblings. thus becoming more and more inferior; Other children will also become rebellious, do not listen to their parents, and act against their parents.

Treat children as children, but also as adults.

The former means that children should be given reasonable expectations at all ages, especially in terms of skills and knowledge.

For example, the child is more than three years old, but because he can't ride a balance bike, parents feel a pity, and they have to work hard to cultivate, even at the expense of enrolling in classes to study; The child is more than four years old, but because the child can't write, the parents feel anxious, and they have to send it to a calligraphy class for special practice; The child just started primary school at the age of seven, but because the pinyin was just learned and mastered too slowly, the parents collapsed, and they had to be sent to the extracurricular auxiliary spring guidance class for special study.

However, if you can ride a balance bike at the age of three and at the age of five, will it have a big impact on your child?

A mother in her thirties complains that her five-year-old child's handwriting is not good-looking, but she has written for more than 30 years, and it is not ugly.

When tutoring homework, "You're so stupid, you can't do it that simple?" How many times have I taught? "Actually, I only taught it 20 times, and I only taught it for a few days.

How many times did we teach children to speak, walk, and eat by themselves, and how many days did it last?

At that time, the child was treated as a child, but when it came to learning skills and knowledge, why did he forget that he was a child?

It's not that children have become stupid, it's that we've become too anxious, too easy to look at this matter from an adult's perspective.

The latter means that no matter how old the child is, he is an independent person who deserves our respect, rather than being perfunctory, deceiving, and fooling.

For example, if you promise your child something, you casually agree, but when the child asks for it, you say, "Oh, I'll do it next time"; When your child shares something with you, you interrupt at will, regardless of whether it is thirty-seven or twenty-one, and you do not respect his feelings at all; In the face of a thing, the child cannot have his own thoughts, and your sentence "Listen to me, you have no choice" deprives him of the right to make his own choice.

But isn't keeping our word the truth about what we adults do? Why is it okay to disobey a child just because he is a child?

Isn't it etiquette to not interrupt others at will, and if it is inconvenient, to refuse rationally as adults? Why don't we have to worry so much about a child, just because he is a child?

Isn't it a basic way of getting along with people, having their own choice, and giving him respect, within reason? Why do children have to listen to us and obey us in everything, instead of having their own ideas?

Treating children as children can we have less delusions, less unrealistic expectations, and more appreciative eyes to accompany children to grow up.

By treating children as adults, we can be less open-mouthed, less casual and perfunctory, and more respectful to treat children's problems.

Hello! Isn't that normal?

It's like respecting the old and loving the young.

It's a virtue.

You've grown up, so naturally Chahuai Qi can't worry about children with a clear belt.

Because children are not sensible yet, adults need to educate children in the right way.

Because I think the child is not sensible.

The advantage of treating your child as a "little adult": when parents can treat their children with innocence, babies can have many opportunities to rely on their parents. Because parents can experience the child's psychological state and feel the child's emotions in the link of accompanying the child, this can actually have more beneficial elements for the child, and can also arouse the child's nature.

This can encourage the child's noble character, especially when you can be in the same link with the child, the baby can have more communication with us, and you can also feel that everyone educates the child, at this moment the baby can accept everyone's education for the child, and we can make the child have a stronger character in the process.

Specific methods: Many parents and their children disagree is a lot of failure, how can this happen if there is a dispute for no reason, that is, everyone thinks about the problem from their own perspective, parents think that the child is not doing it right, and the baby feels that the parents do not understand themselves at all. At a very young age, parents may try to help your child learn new knowledge and skills.

They enroll their children in many training institutions and tutoring institutions. The goal is to let your child learn new knowledge and skills. That may lead to better children in the future.

Therefore, every parent attaches great importance to their children's education. It is also common to see that some parents are very proactive and proactive in their children. Reported to many training institutions and tutoring institutions.

Because parents want their children to learn a lot that way. This will enable the child to excel in the future.

But most parents teach their children to be indoctrinated by adults, because parents are older than children. And most parents think that their children must listen to their parents. Especially on the hot issue of education.

Most of the parents choose indoctrination for their children's education, what they ask their children to learn and as a child must learn and train, and the child is unwilling to learn well.

In this way, children can be friends with their parents, can understand their inner thoughts of bright spine socks, and can make children become independent and mature early; In our lives, we should consult with the adversaries and seek their opinions in everything we do, and we should not blindly act arbitrarily.

Such children will be very respectful of others, and will make the missing children responsible and responsible earlier; It can cultivate children's self-care ability and sense of independence, and often encourage children to praise children who are in trouble.

Ask your child to pay attention to safety and explain some safety precautions, such as using fire, electricity, anti-theft, anti-fraud, etc. Only by ensuring that it is safe for children to be alone at home, can we leave children at home alone, otherwise we can let children be left alone at home.