The three magic weapons of parent child communication are after reading

Methods and skills of parent-child communicationImpressionsAs follows:

Last night, I learned Teacher XX's "Methods and Skills of Parent-Child Communication", and I was deeply touched.

The teacher said a lot of ways, and I was impressed by the following:

1. Discuss more, do not order. That's actually what I need to learn the most. I often give orders to my children, and I always tell them in a commanding tone.

Before she was in elementary school, she usually listened, but then she didn't listen more and more, and she quarreled with me, always thinking that the child was disobedient, but now I know that I am talking in the wrong way.

Every time I asked her to do her homework, I would say, "Hurry up, only the sedan car hurry up and do the homework." "Hurry up, get rid of the trash.

The teacher said that he would say, "Isn't it time for you to do your homework now?" "Can you help me get rid of the trash?"

Because mom is busy. ”

2. Negotiate on an equal footing to deal with parent-child conflicts. Since the first point is not done well, there is no equal consultation on the second point. In the future, I will speak in a more consultative and consultative tone.

Since I often speak in a commanding tone, Xiaoting has also learned a commanding tone. Xiaoting would say, "Mom, hurry up and bring my dictionary."

Sometimes I don't do it at once, and the two of us will quarrel.

3. Empathy to increase children's sense of responsibility.

That's what I appreciate the most, and I'm going to make sure I use it next. The teacher gave an example, saying that once when he went on a trip, the tour guide said to the children: "Children, when you arrive at the scenic spot, you must take care of your adults, hold the hands of adults, and don't let your adults get lost."

The children immediately had a sense of responsibility and held the hands of the adults tightly, for fear that the adults would get lost. This tour guide really understands the hearts of children.

4. The child's affairs must be negotiated with the child. Sometimes I consult with my children and sometimes I make decisions for them. Buy clothes, pants and other daily necessities.

I will negotiate with my child to buy a mountain quietly, I have also discussed with Xiaoting about the interest class, I really want Xiaoting to learn English during the summer vacation, but Xiaoting does not want me to force me, so far, Xiaoting has only learned a guzheng.

Whether the parent-child relationship between parents and children is good, parent-child communication skills play a key role. Good parent-child communication can make the family atmosphere more harmonious and make parenting easier.

However, there are still many parents who lament that it is difficult to communicate with their children, or have tried their best to "communicate" with their children, but the parent-child relationship is still not harmonious.

In fact, children and adults have different communication styles, and only when parents learn by heart can they master good communication skills and build effective communication bridges.

1. Concerned eyes

When talking to children, parents must look at their children with concerned eyes, pay attention to their children's expressions and behaviors at any time, and give timely guidance and assistance, which can also make children feel more valued.

2. Use more short sentences

When talking to your child, make sure that he understands if he or she wants to attract his or her attention. Therefore, it is better to use short sentences and repeat what you say until your child understands.

3. There is a change in intonation

Without affecting others, the intonation of the speech can be higher, or there are some ups and downs, intonation and frustration, which can attract children to pay attention to listening.

4. The content should be specific

The content of the speech should be specific and talk about the current situation, otherwise the child will not be interested enough to communicate.

5. Be gentle in tone

Don't always use a reproachful tone, use a gentle, suggestive tone, such as "No, you can talk about it......"Mommy really wants to hear what you think", so that the atmosphere of communication will be better, and the child will be more willing to say what is on his mind.

6. Be smiling

When your child is willing to speak his or her mind, please smile and listen, so that your child feels that his parents care about him and value him. Don't listen to your child while doing anything else, as your child may not be willing to communicate with his or her parents in the future.

7. Be able to find advantages

Parents should take the initiative to discover their children's strengths and give them timely encouragement. You know, rewards are often more effective than punishments, and the parent-child relationship is not too strained.

8. Be empathetic

To compare hearts to hearts, parents should consider things from the child's point of view, which helps to enter the child's inner world and get closer to each other.

The book lists three principles of communication: openness, purposefulness, and constructiveness. The principle of openness is reflected at the beginning of the book: "Thank you for opening this book and allowing me to serve you." Welcome.

Just such a simple sentence, preconceived, began to communicate with readers, very cordial and down-to-earth, and suddenly shortened the distance with readers. The "openness" of the three principles of communication is used here, so that the author and the reader become "we", establish a community relationship, and guide the reader to understand the meaning of communication with her: that is, through continuous communication, strive to eliminate the blind spots of both sides.

Reach a consensus so that the reader will feel receptive to it.

At the beginning of the article, I used my personal experience to bring out the book, but in fact, this sentence is also an introduction to the "sense of purpose" in the three principles of communication. Tuo Buhua describes her sense of purpose as follows: "It's because she has encountered a critical moment.

A noble person who can give a few tricks, teach a few tricks, and teach the method of communication, and you can also develop everyone you need into your nobleman, and you can also seek help from the noble person at every critical moment, depending on whether you have mastered the method of communication."

What is the third principle, "constructive"? "Dismantle the 18 most basic communication scenarios in daily work and life one by one, and analyze the corresponding methods, so that you can learn in a targeted manner in the face of practical challenges, form your own style of play, and you have to take your own tasks and form your own abilities."

Let the reader come with the task of "I want", and learn to change the essence of the method to "I come" to solve the problem. It can be said that at the beginning of the book, the "Instruction Manual" of "Take-off Flowers" properly applies the three principles of communication, which is impressive. The rest of the reading becomes targeted, as Tuo Buhua said:

Don't "read" this book, but "look" it up, because the 18 communication scenes in this book are all "stories of beating through life and finally winning the battle", which can be used at any time. So I studied Chapter 8, "Compliments: How to Improve Your Interpersonal Friendliness," and Chapter 23, "Debriefing:."

How to get your plan taken seriously".

Chapter 1 Pay attention to parent-child emotional communication and build a good foundation for communication.

Family is a child's first school, parents are a child's first teacher In recent years, more and more people realize the importance of family education for children, and good family education is not only conducive to children's intellectual and physical growth. Moreover, it is of great benefit to the formation of its world outlook, values, outlook on life, the development of moral character, and the cultivation of healthy psychological quality. So how can we make home education go smoothly and complete?

Some experts believe that good emotional communication between parents and children is the guarantee for children to have a sense of security, value and happiness, and it is also the premise for the implementation of family education. The emotional communication between parents and children should be based on equality, harmony, mutual respect and trust. Equal dialogue between parents and children is the premise of parent-child communication and family education, and it is also an important means and method for both.

In fact, the communication between parents and children is like the two sides playing a game of throwing and catching the ball, and in the process of the game, the identities of some of the two sides of the ball thrower and the receiver are constantly changing. That is to say, the two sides are equal and cooperative, and both parties are subjects. Moreover, both parties must take it seriously and form a tacit understanding, so that the game can go on smoothly, and the people who play the game can get exercise and happiness from it!!

American psychologist William Gold-Farb said: "The most important thing in educating children is to treat them as equal to their own personality and give them infinite love." "There was a mother who was telling a story to her child when she was interrupted by the child: "Mom, you are wrong.

The story told is "Flowers and Butterflies", and just when the mother talks about the butterfly's wings being wet by the rain, her daughter interrupts her. So, she said angrily to her daughter: "It's so late, I'm still telling you stories after a day's work, and you still blame me for telling the wrong story?"

Because in the popular science encyclopedia mentioned earlier, it is said: "The wings of butterflies contain fat, like a natural raincoat, and will not get wet." Therefore, it is not that the children do not listen carefully to the content of our speech, but because of the conflict between the knowledge they have received before and the knowledge they are now exposed to, they will feel that they will be reminded that "Mom, you have made a mistake and come out of the car."

At this time, the mother knew that she was wrong, but for the sake of the so-called "face", she did not explain the situation to the child, and let the child sleep with grievances. Speaking is important, and being able to speak is even more important!

Zhou Guoping, a famous contemporary scholar and writer, said: "In my opinion, being a friend of your child, and your child will definitely regard you as his friend, is the highest state and the greatest success of being a parent." "If a family has a democratic, equal atmosphere, children will have a good psychological state, with a sense of self-esteem, self-confidence, what ideas, but also friendly grinding is willing to communicate with parents Parents and children intimate communication, in fact, parents and children of the collision of the soul Every parent, should learn to use the "parents + friends + teachers" way of thinking to treat children equally, become a good teacher and friend of children.

The inspiration of parent-child communication is to understand children, pay attention to parent-child education, communicate equally, get along with each other equally, and so on.

1. Understanding. It is a kind of unconditional love and respect for the emotion, he needs your selflessness and love, you should know that if parents can not understand them, children will look out to understand them, on the contrary, if parents can understand them, they will feel the warmth and security of the family, willing to communicate with their parents, only to understand and then be able to guide correctly.

2. Pay attention to parent-child education.

Children care very much about whether their parents are fully committed to their growth, although some parents have been with their children for many years, but not necessarily communicate often, most parents are busy as a reason to ignore parent-child education, parents' parent-child education should be in front of children's physiological and psychological development, so parents should devote themselves to their children's education, continue to learn, improve the ability to teach children, in order to win the respect and love of children.

3. Communicate on an equal footing and get along with each other on an equal footing.

Communication between parents and children is very important, but communication is not only to tell children what to do and what not to do, but also not to throw them a general concept of good children and bad children.

Companionship is the most affectionate confession

In the face of parent-child tension, you can try to accompany your child on a parent-child trip on a regular basis, what children need before they are minors is the company of their parents, regular parent-child travel can effectively enhance communication, close the parent-child relationship, alleviate parent-child relationship tension and other difficult questions, and also broaden children's horizons.

There are many parents who neglect their children due to their busy work and have little time with their children. The child's heart will inevitably lack love and be lonely, so if you love him, you will accompany him more.