Super funny sports sketch scripts, the less the merrier

It's time to eat at noon every day, and all kinds of queue cutting phenomena are endless. Now the girls' version of the queue b:"That's a lot of people!

a:'China's road traffic has really changed! " b:

Hey, I think of a question, do you know how Sima Qian died? " a:'I don't know!

b:"long, long ago, Sima Qian lined up to buy wontons, because there were too many people, so he began to write "Historical Records. >> when he finished writing, there was only one person left in front of him, but at this time, the aunt in the dining hall closed the food outlet, and Sima Qian had a heart attack and hung up.

a:"AhhThen we, will we be like Sima Qian?

b;"No, the boy in front of you is so stupid! Maybe you can play with him! " a：

Student A patted C) who was in a daze, "Classmate, you are so handsome!" Your hair is stylish! ” b：

Yes, (nodding desperately). And the eyebrows are very kawaii, and there is also, he looks like Chow Yun-fat, right! a:

No, no, because it should be like Wu Kequn. "B: "Yes, yes!

Am I blind? Why didn't you see it!? I'm really wooden!

C: (a little embarrassed, laughing there) A: "So in order to better see how handsome you are, can we stand in front of you?"

Very adoring) C:" (I was so carried away that I suddenly took out a mirror from my pocket, touched my face while looking at it, and said, "Ah!

Finally met Bole! These two have such good eyesight! I think there was a girl back then, and she was so excited that she trembled there when she saw me!

A brush of hair) can imagine how handsome I am! A and B (whispered, it must have been winter, and the girl was cold.) ”)a：

Fooled! B: "That's stupid!

Hurry up and finish the dinner and leave! (Then the two of them go backstage) C: (still narcissistic there) (Then the student council cadres appear, no need to dub) D, E:

Ambiguous expression) C, D, and E pointed to A, B, A, B at the same time (immediately froze there, the book in B's hand fell, and the paper in A's hand did not fall) At this time, C said, "Stop." (To be super shocking) Except for C, everyone was stunned backwards.

B took A's paper and said, "This is going to fall." Then put the paper on the ground. "Action" D and E grabbed A and B and said:

It's not right to cut in line, come with us! A and B were dragged away, and then B said to A, "Let's run!"

9 Then he ran in the opposite direction. D, E: "Don't Run" C was still looking in the mirror, and when he saw them gone, he shouted:

Wait for me. ”

One day, the teacher walked into the class, and the students stood up and shouted, "Good morning, teacher!" The teacher said indignantly

Just good morning? What about my afternoon? Isn't it bad?

Then the students shouted in unison: "Good afternoon, teacher!" The teacher said

Sit down! Today we're going to review antonyms, and we're going to practice like this, and I'm going to say, you say the antonyms out loud. Start now.

Teacher: "The weather is fine today. Student:

The weather is bad today. Teacher: "It's sunny everywhere."

Student: "It's cloudy everywhere. Teacher:

Young. Student: "Old."

Teacher: "Stand." Student:

Lie down". Teacher: "There was a young man standing on the road.

Student: "There's an old man lying down on the road. Teacher:

I picked up a dollar. Student: "I lost a dollar."

Teacher: "I picked up a dollar and gave it to the teacher." Student:

I lost a dollar and went to steal the teacher. Teacher: "Wrong, you can't say that!"

Student: "That's right, that's what you should say!" Teacher:

It's not okay, it's illegal! Student: "That's okay, it's legal!"

Teacher: "Listen to the teacher, what the teacher said is correct!" Student:

Listen to us, what the teacher says is wrong! Teacher: "You are stupid.

Student: "We're smart. Teacher:

Stop it! Student: "Go ahead!"

Teacher: "Stop now!" Stop it!

Student: "Let's move on now!" And more!

Teacher: "You stupid pigs, I said stop!" Student:

We're all geniuses, we say go ahead! Teacher: "Listen to the teacher!"

Student: "Teacher listens to us!" Teacher:

Students have to listen to the teacher! Student: "Teachers have to listen to students!"

Teacher: "Now stop practicing!" Student:

Now let's get back to the practice! Teacher: "Are you all over the place?"

Student: "We have a beginning and an end!" Teacher:

Then you stop! Stupid pig! Student:

Then let's move on! Talented! ”.

After that, the teacher angrily walked out of the classroom with the book in his arms. After that, the teacher angrily walked out of the classroom with the book in his arms.

Zhu Bajie skydiving:

Actors: Tang Seng, Zhu Bajie, Sha Monk, Sun Wukong Narrator: One day, Tang Seng and his apprentices went on a trip, and suddenly the plane crashed, and they were about to parachute, but there were only three parachutes.

How many moons are there in the sky? "

a"Narrator: The Monkey King jumps.

How many suns are there in the sky? "

1 pc"Narrator: Zhu Bajie thought that such a simple question would not be difficult for him, and it must be Tang Seng La who does not have a parachute.

There are a few stars in the sky"

This one. "No way, Zhu Bajie jumped down.

Narrator: The second time, they traveled again and the plane crashed again. There are only three parachutes again.

Tang Seng asked Sun Wukong again"What is the largest country on Earth? "

USSR"Then ask Monk Sha"What is the richest country in the world? "

United States"Question Bajie: Please report all the countries in the world one by one.

Narrator: No way, Bajie jumped down again.

Narrator: The third time was the same as the first two.

Zhu Bajie: Forget it, I jumped off by myself.

Everyone shouted in unison: there are four parachutes this time.

Scene: Xiao Yang's house.

Xiaozhu walked up slowly with a dictionary, flipping through the dictionary as he walked, and there were words in his mouth...

Bamboo: Smooth sailing, two dragons playing with pearls, three stars Gaozhao, four generations in the same hall, five grains and abundant harvests, six or six Shun, seven steps of genius, eight immortals across the sea, ninety-nine returns.

First, perfect...

Yang: Xiaozhu, Xiaozhu, look at it.

Bamboo: What, my Chinese American classmates.

Yang: **, I went to Huangshan, Taishan, Laoshan, Tianshan, Wudang Mountain.

Zhu: Oh, is this really my best classmate who is tall and handsome, jade tree in the wind, clear-eyed, helpful, considerate, dignified, and witty? It's too general (Yang shook his head while listening, waved his hand and said:

Won the prize, passed the prize Yang: Ah, I thought I was praising me, I was so talented Zhu: No, no Yang:

When I say that you are very humble, I am praising you. Zhu: I see, there are so many Chinese characters, it is inevitable to make a mistake, and I will correct you a word.

Yang: Correct me one word. Bamboo:

What did you just say? Yang: Qian "Sun" (Sun) is it.

Zhu: Wrong, Yang: Wrong?

Zhu: There is also a "zhi" under this Sun character, pronounced "Xun". Yang:

No, I'm saying you're very good at making "paper" in literature, and that's what I mean. Bamboo: Well, I still have this craft, I went to the paper mill.

Yang: In terms of your comprehension ability, I am talking about your ability to make "paper" in literature

Yang: My mother is out of recruitment, find me a big immortal, guess what? Zhu: You're still reasonable.

Sun: Master, what about the people?

Don: He has long been asleep, so let's leave him alone.

Sun: Hey, master, what are those people doing?

In the distance) Liu Guanzhang (emotionally): I don't want to be born on the same day and month of the same year, but I want to die on the same day and month of the same year!

Don: Let's go ask them.

Don: What are you doing?

Kwan: Can't you see that? We are illiterate three righteousness!

Don: What? Liu: We are illiterate and righteous.

Don: What? Zhang: We are illiterate and three knots ---super long sound)!!

Don: What? Sun: Master, let the apprentice pluck your ears and throat.

After that, he took out the golden hoop stick and said: Look at my grandson's pocket gold hoop stick!

Don: Alas, it's much clearer now, and I haven't plucked my ears for 5 years as a teacher. What did you just say you were doing?

Sun: Master, they are illiterate and righteous!

Don: Why do you want to be illiterate?

Zhang: Because we want to-

Liu Guanzhang: Dominate the Three Kingdoms!!

Tang: Wukong, what is the Three Kingdoms, it won't be a new brand!

Sun: It seems so, but I advise you not to go shopping, seeing that people want to dominate the Three Kingdoms so much, and they are still born and die, it must be very expensive, and we don't have much silver anymore. We still have to stay in the hotel!

Don: That's right, we sold all our silver to the pig's head, alas!

Sun: Master, it seems that there are not many silver taels for these three people. See, there is no wine on this table, only their saliva.

Don: Eh, Wukong, bring me the Rémy Martin who is the teacher.

Sun: Master, are you willing?

Tang (rolls his eyes): Of course I can't bear to, I just want to sift it in front of them, and I'll take a small sip!

Liu: Have you had enough? We also want to be illiterate!

Tang: Eh, young man, don't blame the poor monk for being wordy. You have to think about the long term, I think I was just like you back then, with surging blood, but even if you dominate the Three Kingdoms, the Buddha will not agree, that old miser.

If it weren't for his unwillingness to give me a piece of territory, why would I need to come to the West to learn from it, he would forget it, and put the news to hype that my meat can live forever after eating, you think, if it's true, wouldn't I be able to live longer by biting myself?

Kwan: If you come to the Buddha? You didn't take any medicine when you went out, did you? Too much mythology, right?

Tang: Eh, young man, you don't even know the Buddha, how can you get mixed up in this world? If he knew, you might have gone. Huh! In front of him, not only can he not talk about suffering, but he also has to pat his ass!

Sun: Yes, my grandson too, scolded him in front of him for being a dead fat man, and he suppressed my grandson at the foot of Wuzhi Mountain, fortunately, my old grandson was blessed with a big life, otherwise...

Don: Wukong---

Sun: Master---

Tang Sun: Woo woo...

Zhang: Wait, don't sensationalize just yet. Honestly, are you insane?

Don: Ah! For the first time since I was born, Tang Seng was scolded for being neurotic! My life is so miserable. Ahh(squatting on the ground and crying) Wukong, let's go!

Sun: Yes, master.

Because of the vivid teachings of Tang Seng and Sun Wukong, Liu Guanzhang has changed his ideals.

Liu Guanzhang: I don't want to die on the same day and month of the same year, but I want to be born on the same day and month of the same year!!

"Fighting Wisdom".

Location: School classrooms.

Characters: Teacher, Student 1, Student 2

Background: Classroom, conversation and Q&A between students and teachers during class.

Plot: The person who pretends to be a teacher on:

Today we are going to review the famous sayings and names in ancient poems, and I am going to start by asking questions from the teacher.

The students said in unison: Yes!

Teacher: Since ancient times, no one has died.

Student: Since ancient times, who has no, and who has no paper for poop.

Teacher: (angry) It's that student, say such immoral things, stand up for me!

Student: (stands up) It's me.

Teacher: (very angry) You're making such a mess, you stand up for me in this class. We must complete this task, or we will never try to pass it!

Teacher: Since ancient times, no one has died.

Student: Since ancient times, who has no, and who has no paper for poop. If you don't use toilet paper, unless you use your thumb.

Indeed, I will not punish you.

At this time, the teacher looked out the window, thought about it, and remembered that it would snow in winter, so he asked a question).

Teacher: It snowed on the ground and didn't rain, but the snow turned into rain on the ground. When it rains, it's troublesome, why didn't it rain in the first place?

Xiao Ming: The teacher doesn't eat when he eats, and the rice turns into in the stomach. How troublesome it is when it becomes, why didn't you eat in the first place.

In this way, the teacher wanted to punish Xiao Ming on the spot! His hands were shaking, and his face was still pretending to laugh, and he wanted to be ashamed of Xiao Ming.

Teacher: The river is flowing to **?

Xiao Ming: The river flows eastward!

Teacher: How many stars are there in the sky?

Xiao Ming: The stars in the sky are in the Beidou!

Teacher: Get out of here!

Xiao Ming: Let's go!

The teacher was helpless.

Teacher: Are you sick?

Xiao Ming: You have me, I have everything!

Teacher: Try singing again!

Student: The road is uneven and roars all your life!

Teacher: Do you believe that I want to flatten you?

Student: Shoot when it's time to shoot!

The teacher really couldn't bear it anymore and had nothing to say.

Teacher: I'll let you quit school!

Student: Storming Jiuzhou!

Ha ha. The whole class was in a stir, and the teacher walked out of the classroom.