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Sometimes boys curse, but it's actually a sign of patience with their partners. What is the sign of impatience? That is to put aside all the criteria for judging right and wrong, all moral or ethical benchmarks, and all objective environmental factors that need to be considered, and end the dispute between you in the simplest and most convenient way.
Whether he believes that you are sane and have brains, one thing is certain, and that is that when you "squat", many people are already perfunctory to you. It's like cheating on exams, focusing only on the results and giving up the nourishment of knowledge. This kind of "coaxing" is sometimes worse than cheating.
After all, you don't need **, deception is necessary.
Most men will put up with the person they love, but when he saves to a certain extent, it is like a bottle of water that will overflow, and that will be a storm, and you don't understand why so many of your boyfriends have endured and caressed before, and today they left and left. The essence of love is three points of view that support each other, not the madness of the other, and the best is the best. Like my youngest daughter, I started with the facts.
Later, I started to think that the little girl also felt that it was not a problem, so we would analyze the reasons and solve them together after each quarrel. This is the right solution. When you're in a good mood, you feel comfortable, but the problem is already there, can't you solve it with a hammer?
I begged these girls not to believe the poisonous chicken soup on Weibo. What kind of boyfriend should be jealous of you, and what kind of boyfriend should be unconditionally humble.
If, after a busy day, we only have time to quarrel, or let him guess my mind and let him marry me, it will be unfair to him or our feelings
I tried to speak directly about my thoughts, emphasizing what I wanted in his heart, that he would understand, that there are always many contradictions in different places, and that communication is the most important。Many times, I am glad that we can guide me positively, and when we have a conflict, he will first tell me why he is doing it, and then ask me to make a change and do what he is going to do, and my hurried tone seems to find some relief in his step-by-step comforting guidance. This kind of communication is the most effective.
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Maybe your boyfriend doesn't know what the reason for your anger is, and just wants you to know the reason, be sensible, and the matter will be solved.
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You have to know that there is a kind of boy in this world who is called a straight man, and they are more willing to appease you by reasoning.
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Such a boyfriend is too straight, he belongs to a very rational kind, and he doesn't have to worry about it.
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He may be a straight man, and he thinks it's right, so I'll reason with you.
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Your boyfriend knows that you are angry and doesn't coax you to reason because:
1. He knows that you are angry, but he thinks the most reasonable way is to be reasonable.
This is the inertia of thinking that is commonly used in our land.
I used to be, and it was serious, it took many years for me to have an epiphany.
I suffered a lot of losses and studied a lot of psychology courses.
Your boyfriend is like this, it's really annoying, everyone is so angry, and he doesn't coax people, he's really a straight man, it's unbearable, it's so annoying.
If he really loves you and is just used to reasoning, it's okay to tell him and then guide him and teach him how to do it.
Because most of his original family, his parents usually use reason to deal with problems.
and his life experience, all of which he encountered that could be solved with reason, or he didn't find anything wrong with this.
But that doesn't prove that this is all right, it's very different.
Because you don't have any other detailed description, I don't know if you are students, or if you have been working, how long you have been working, what occupation, your family situation with him, basic personal experience, or not much experience, etc., I don't know, so I can only say as much as I can.
Because between couples, the first thing to communicate is emotions and emotions, which is obviously that he can't pay attention to your emotions, which must be infuriating.
But now that you know, he can't know your emotions and ask him, so he still can't realize it, so I repeat that if you love him and want the relationship to go on better, tell him in as clear language or words as possible.
For example, I am angry now, because of what I am angry about, what do I need him to do, is to come and comfort me, if he can't comfort, what can I do, if not, I can push my land to him, let him see.
If he loves you too, he will do it.
If you are not willing to change, this is not called change, it is called growth, and if he is not willing to grow, he just doesn't love you.
2. It's just that you think that he knows that you are angry, but in fact he does not know that you are angry.
This seems to be a bit winding, because it is like this, your way of expression, such as the error of the state of the bulging, the difference in life experience between you and him, the level of his receptivity, and so on, will produce errors in the transmission and acceptance of information between you. That's why communication, intimacy needs to be communicated. No matter how happy "Family with Children" is, there are many such conflicts.
3. He knows that you are angry and knows that he can care about your emotions, but he still deliberately reasoned with you.
This is deliberately foolishness, even if you want to be reasonable, you have to calm your emotions first, and then have the opportunity to be reasonable. It's not called reasoning, it's about communicating with you. Once again, I emphasize the importance of communication, as the name suggests, let's take a look at what is said in the text
Communication": Communication, there is a chasm, only need to be dredged. The ditch, on the left is water, which means that you need to pay "three waters":
saliva, sweat, and even tears to "communicate"; The right side is still "hook", the heart knot is still there, and the knot is unsolved.
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When the boyfriend knows that he is angry, he does not coax himself, he is reasoning with himself, because the boy is also very angry in this situation, such a boy is more upright, his emotional intelligence is not high enough, in the process of love, girls are not allowed to play a small temper. Only by respecting and caring for each other can two people achieve long-term development and make love better.
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The reason is simple: because in a relationship, the value of both parties must be roughly the same, and if you demand emotional value too much, then you are bound to accommodate the actual value of the other person. To put it simply, if you adhere to the values of "no matter who is right and who is wrong, as long as the girl is angry and the man must admit his mistake", then your appeal is to find a licking dog that caters to you unconditionally
1.The other party doesn't plan to establish a long-term and healthy relationship with you at all, just for short-term sex, so everything you say is right, right, right, good, and good, anyway, you don't plan to invest in the long term, and change places with a shot.
2.The other party's conditions are much lower than yours, and in order to keep this relationship, you can only unconditionally obey your unequal treaty. In other words, if you enjoy a high status, you have to accept that his appearance is lower than yours, his family background is worse than yours, and his potential cannot be high.
Because once his future potential is realized (the value increases), and you are old (the value is reduced), it will be time for you to return it.
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When your boyfriend knows that you are angry, he doesn't coax you and reason, which shows that you are angry and is wrong, so that your boyfriend feels incomprehensible, and makes you understand by reasoning, instead of blindly letting your boyfriend coax you and let you, which will make your boyfriend feel very tired and not conducive to your relationship development.
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Your boyfriend wants to keep you from being angry by reasoning. Only if you figure it out for yourself will you not be angry. I am more in favour of this approach. Everything needs to be reasonable.
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Why doesn't he coax you even though he knows you're angry? And I'll tell you the truth. Maybe he doesn't know how to coax you when you're angry, maybe he doesn't care about you in his heart, maybe he caused it by carelessness, so you have to look forward to seeing what the reason is.
There is an adult mind, soberly realize that red can not solve the fundamental problem, it is better to explain the truth clearly, so that you naturally understand the root of the problem, he believes in the problem between you. It can be solved with reason.
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The main thing is that he doesn't want to coax you, and there are two possibilities in this case: first, he doesn't want to care about you.
Second, you violated his principles this time, and he was really angry.
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I think some men are more careless, maybe he doesn't know how to coax you when you're angry, maybe he doesn't care about you in his heart, maybe he is careless, so you have to look forward to seeing what the reason is.
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Because the boyfriend thinks that only by explaining things clearly can there be room for resolution, but such a boyfriend is not reliable at all, and when he is angry, he must coax the girl first, and then reason.
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Such a boyfriend is the right one, and if the boyfriend keeps coaxing himself in this situation, then it means that the boyfriend is not a responsible person. You have to understand some of the truths yourself.
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Your boyfriend may be a very direct person, so he will only reason with you when you are angry, and he may think that he will be good for you if he reasones.
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Because boys are like this, and one of their favorite things is to be reasonable, and when they think you're wrong, they won't coax you, but reason.
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You must know that the person who reasoned with you, he just didn't love you, if he loved you, he wouldn't reason with you, but came to coax you, which shows that he doesn't love you so much.
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Because this matter is not the boyfriend's fault, he feels that his girlfriend should not be used to it all the time, and should reason with his girlfriend and let his girlfriend become a reasonable person.
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Because he didn't know how to make girls happy, he used the form of reasoning to make himself understand the mistake in the middle.
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It shows that your boyfriend is a very principled person and a straight man, so he doesn't know how to coax you.
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Because the boyfriend is very persistent in dealing with things, the boyfriend thinks that it is right and not the right person, so he cares about it.
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Because these simple men think that we don't understand the reason to get angry, but in fact, they don't understand what we are because of.
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Because the boyfriend felt that at this time, he must first explain the reason for the whole thing, and analyze the cause and effect of the whole incident.
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He is for your good, there must be something wrong with you, a person is willing to pay for you like this, which shows that he really loves you.
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Why does my boyfriend reason without coaxing me when he knows I'm angry? If my boyfriend first calms my excitement, apologizes to me, and says to me:
This time it's me who is wrong. In order to make me happy, you prepared tickets for the concert early in the morning, but I disappointed you. I am willing to accept the punishment, Xinsun, you can punish me for anything. ”
The fire in my heart may not burn so easily, at least not so much. Then, after I have calmed down, I will slowly discuss the follow-up solutions, such as finding another friend to accompany me to the concert, I may be more likely to accept the fight, and I will not give away the ticket on impulse, which will exacerbate the conflict.
But the reality was that he only cared about Cutan expressing his views and reasoning with me, and ignored my feelings. I had nowhere to release my emotions, and in my last breath, I gave away the ticket, which caused the conflict to escalate.
So, why doesn't my boyfriend want to "coax" me, but just want to be reasonable?
There is actually a psychological concept involved here, called antecedent variables.
Antecedent variables are factors or conditions that cause a change in the outcome variable.
Many of my boyfriend's predictions may be antecedents, and these antecedents cause him to not want to "coax" me, but only want to be reasonable.
For example, if he coaxes me to apologize to me, it will appear that he has done something wrong, and he will be more aggrieved.
For example, he thinks that he is a big man, how can he coax a woman.
For example, if he comes to coax me, he may still be counted out by me in the end.
So many predictions made my boyfriend feel tired and useless to coax me, so he was too lazy to coax me, so it was better to find the easiest way to be reasonable.
For him, reasoning can be said as soon as he opens his mouth, and it doesn't take much effort to deal with all situations, which is much easier than coaxing me, and over time, he will not want to coax me when he encounters a quarrel.
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Because your boyfriend wants to reason with you with his mind, he doesn't understand that sometimes you are just in a bad mood. Rather than wanting a standard answer.
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If a man does this, it means that he doesn't love you anymore, so it's better to give up and find someone who truly loves you to be happy.
Normal. I do that a lot.
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