If the parents have a broken relationship and want to divorce, how can they protect their children f

This is not possible, children nowadays are smarter.

Love children, continue to be the same as always, but some parents use their children as a tool to fight for each other's interests, or do not want to use the child as an excuse to blackmail each other not to leave, each other lives in hypocrisy, and the love for the child is also hypocritical, and it does not have a particularly good impact on the child, because the two people who do not love and leave the heart, the love for the child will not decrease, as long as both people are mentally healthy.

If you can think more about your children, you won't get divorced. Nowadays, people are used to being selfish, and they will think so much.

First of all, if the parents have really thought clearly about divorce, then they should talk about this matter euphemistically with the child, when the child is younger, the two people can be more humble to tell the child that the parents will often be separated from each other, and then they can take turns to see the child, no matter which party the child is awarded to, both people should give the child more love, because the child is not wrong, even if the parents want to divorce, they must also take into account the child's desire for family and the need for love, Let him feel that he still has a complete home.

Secondly, if the parents find their other half after the divorce, they should also let the child learn to adapt to the current life, and must explain the problems between the parents to him with a calm attitude and tone, so that the child can slowly learn to accept, and let him feel that he has two fathers and mothers, and can also feel proud and honored from the bottom of his heart, and will not become depressed or rebellious because of the improper education of his parents.

No matter how much protection is taken, the divorce of parents is bound to cause harm to the children. It's just that some parents do it relatively reasonably and will try their best to minimize the damage to their children.

Children are originally the crystallization of love and marriage, once the parents divorce, the child is like a crystal, deep in his heart, it must also be fragmented. Therefore, no child wants to see their parents divorce, even if the relationship between their parents is not good, they also want their parents to divorce. Because, home is their harbor, and everyone longs to have it.

Therefore, if the relationship between parents is really broken, if the child is already more sensible, you must have a long talk with the child calmly, so that the child understands the reason. At the same time, it is necessary to reassure the child that his parents still love him very much, but the marriage relationship is over and there are some changes in living habits.

If you want your child to be less harmed, you can't quarrel. After all, whether it is for the father or the mother, he is the closest person to the child, and he definitely does not want to be in a dilemma. Therefore, even if the relationship is broken, it is necessary to separate calmly so that the child is not so embarrassed and painful.

In addition, even after the divorce, it is necessary to care and pay attention to the learning and growth of the children, which is the most responsible attitude towards the children.

If it really comes to the point of divorce, then there is only a minimum to avoid harming the children.

Although the two are divorced, if they want to raise the children together, they should still participate in small family gatherings, and the child support should be borne by them, otherwise it is irresponsible for the children.

When holding a parent-teacher conference, try to go with two people, otherwise others will laugh at the child when they see it, and the child's self-esteem will also be hit, he doesn't want others to know that his parents are divorced and he is a single-parent family. So if you have time, try to go with both of you so that the child doesn't feel so unhappy.

No matter which side the child follows, if the child wants the other party, he must meet, so as not to hurt the child's heart, because in his heart, he hopes that his parents love each other and will always be together, but since it backfires, the child should still see each other when he thinks about his parents.

If you can try not to get divorced, don't let your children suffer any harm on the road to growth, because divorce is the most harmful to children.

Quickly cut through the mess, don't make noise, divorce quickly, try to divorce peacefully, negotiate the ownership of the children in the future and the custody of the children. It is impossible for parents to divorce and let their children not be harmed at all, what can be done is to reduce the harm to children.

Then the endless quarrels or the seemingly detached life after the relationship is broken down is the most harmful to the child, and this kind of family life is not to be done. Since the divorce is a foregone conclusion, it is the future life of the child, and it is best to maintain the child's original standard of living financially, and it is best for the husband and wife to resolve it peacefully, even if the child is raised by one party, the other party should cooperate with the other party to actively visit. <>

No matter who is right or wrong in the marriage, the child has the obligation to raise and the right to see the child.

Don't hold grudges against each other after two people are separated, and don't speak ill of each other in front of your children. Don't involve the children in the affairs between husband and wife, let alone say to the children that your mother doesn't want you anymore, it's your father's fault or something like that.

Divorce between husband and wife is the breakdown of the relationship between husband and wife, and the relationship between father and son is continuous, so in order to protect the child, the dissatisfaction with the other party should not be let the child know, which affects the child's worldview.

Depending on the child's age, different decisions should be made so that the child can grow up healthily.

If your child is in primary school to high school, at this time it is best for parents not to divorce, two people can live separately in a family, but do not let the child know that the two people have divorced, because the child does not have a complete family, this is a big blow to the child, the child at this stage of the psychology is still not mature enough, will make the child do not know how to face life at all.

Even if parents are completely emotionless, they should take out a fixed time every week to spend with their children, so that children can still feel the love from their parents, so that their hearts can not be hurt and feel the warmth of the family.

If your child has gone to college, or has already worked, the parents can tell the child about the divorce, because the child now has an independent personality and has his own life circle, that is, he can completely bear the divorce, and the child can understand it well at this age.

What kind of strong child does it take to see the divorce of his parents as lightly?

Unless the child doesn't love his family, he doesn't love his parents.

If parents want a divorce, don't say anything to protect their children from harm. If you really don't like your children to be hurt because of this, and you're really worried that your children will be affected, then you shouldn't get a divorce. Divorce itself is a sign of irresponsibility towards the children. <>

Although the parents are divorced, the father is still the father, and the mother is still the mother, but the family is not a complete home. When the child is with the father, he does not see the mother, and the child misses the father when he is with the mother. Saying that children should not be hurt is hypocrisy.

Of course, there are many reasons for divorce between husband and wife, and it may really be a last resort. But no matter what the reason is, as long as the parents divorce, it will cause harm to the children and leave a shadow in their hearts.

If you really want to get divorced, give your children more psychological counseling. If you are not in a hurry, it is best to choose divorce when the child's emotional intelligence has matured, and you can only try to minimize the damage.

Parents do this, in order to prevent divorce for their children, which is superficially protective for their children, but in fact it is even more harmful

I think it's a kind of protection for the child. Because the breakdown of feelings and families is the greatest harm to children.

Let's first sort out the problem, whether parents will protect or harm their children more if they do not divorce for their children.

The relationship between husband and wife has reached the step of divorce, indicating that the relationship between two people has reached the stage of rupture and irreparability, and children are one of the few bonds in all this.

But my personal opinion is that not divorcing for the sake of the children is to a large extent more harmful to the children, rather than protection? Why? Today, I will explain this issue in detail with my experience and case studies in emotional and psychological counseling.

1.The tense family atmosphere is not conducive to the growth of children.

If the husband and wife often quarrel or have a cold war, it will definitely affect the child, and most of the unhappy children of this kind of original family will have no sense of security, gain and loss, and even very inferiority. More serious cases can affect his interpersonal relationships, intimacy, and even subsequent marriages. Because they have the most contact with their parents in the process of growing up, and their parents' emotions will have a great impact on his growth, and he will also learn how his parents treat intimate relationships and how to deal with these daily trivial matters to a certain extent.

It can be said that parents play the role of a role model, and if there is an example that is not done well, the child will also learn crookedly?

2.The imminent marriage of parents will put great pressure on children.

The common saying is that so-and-so's mother said, I just don't divorce your father for you, this kind of words will make the child have a huge sense of guilt, and feel that the parents' marriage is mainly because of him, so there is huge pressure in the process of growing up. What's more, they will feel that they are a burden, which is the fuse in the marriage of their parents. And the growing child is originally alone, without much outside help, and he himself does not know what he wants, this long-term loneliness and helplessness will make him look for possible support.

This is why so many children are addicted to the Internet or online dating, or some subculture, or some more rugged romantic relationships, etc.

And once they find out that their children are in a similar situation, parents may pay more attention, either by over-controlling or over-plattering, which will not be acceptable to the child, and may even be counterproductive.

So in the face of this situation, my suggestion is to communicate with the child, if there is a certain sense of self, he also understands many things, it is better to spread out and talk to him, talk to him. For example, Mom and Dad may not be together after due to problems in getting along and communication, but we still love you. Be as sincere and honest as possible, don't lie to your child, and your child is not stupid.

In this way, he will gradually accept these things as well.

Many parents want to divorce, but they are enduring it because of their children, and they don't know how to explain to their children that their parents want to divorce. And there are many people who give up their lives and don't divorce for the sake of their children, but it is more terrible for children to grow up in such a family environment, because parents often quarrel in front of their children.

Example: My mother often says that I don't divorce because of you, which hurts the child a lot.

It is said that an unhappy life needs a childhood, but some people do not have a happy childhood, so what should they do to be unhappy in the future? How to see if a person has a happy childhood, in fact, after a few interactions with this person, I gradually understand. Let's say, for example, my colleague Jiang Cheng.

Jiang Cheng seems to be a gentle and kind girl on the surface, but after getting along with her a few times, I realized that Jiang Cheng is very tangled in doing things, timid and afraid of things, and does not like to talk.

After getting acquainted with Jiang Cheng, I learned that Jiang Cheng's family problems. Sure enough, as I guessed, Jiang Cheng's original family brought very serious harm to Jiang Cheng. Jiang Cheng said that although she is not a single-parent family, she lives in dire straits, she doesn't want to go home at all, and her parents quarrel every time she comes home.

And the one thing he hates to hear the most is that his mother often says to her, I don't divorce for you. Jiang Cheng wanted to shout to his mother countless times in his heart, I really want you to divorce. Jiang Cheng's mother's approach seems to be for the good of her children, but this practice is not only irresponsible for her own marriage, but also hurts two other people, one is her husband and the other is his daughter.

Especially often telling my daughter that not divorcing is for her daughter, this sentence will bring a lot of harm to her heart. And it will also make her daughter feel that her family is unhappy and her parents quarrel because of her own reasons. No wonder Jiang Cheng grew up to be a timid and fearful person with no self-confidence, because Jiang Cheng did not grow up in a caring environment.

Divorce will have some impact on the child, we must educate more, but now the child is still young, whether it is raised by the father or the mother, there will be a lack of a part, both parties should carefully consider before making a decision to divorce, for the child after either party requests to visit should cooperate, can not because the feelings of both parties affect the feelings of the child. It is determined that after the divorce, the parties can negotiate the custody of the children, how the joint property will be divided, how to pay child support, and how to exercise visitation rights. If the negotiation fails, the court will make a judgment based on the actual situation of both parties and the child's situation, and the court will make a judgment in the most favorable situation for the child.

If the divorce of the parents is a foregone conclusion, then first consider who the children will live with, provided that the economic foundation and emotional needs can be double-protected; Then it is necessary to enlighten the child's emotions, maybe everyone's mood is not very good at this time, remember that the parents' emotional breakdown is not the child's fault; Then, divorce only means that the relationship between the husband and wife has broken down, but they are still the father and mother of the child, and they have the responsibility and obligation to raise and educate, and it is the same whether they are divorced or not, so that the impact can be minimized.

A discordant family has a worse impact on children than a separated happy father and mother, parents are also human beings, and they also have the right to pursue a happy marriage and life, and children also have the right to pursue a happy family.

After the divorce of the parents, they each took care of their own lives. Don't slander each other in front of your children, since you choose to separate, you will be fine, and take care of and accompany your children as much as possible. Know what your child thinks, communicate with your child more, and if you have the opportunity, occasionally three people get together to chat.

This is from the child's side, because either way, only the two of you are the child's parents. If they have a family, they should be more concerned about the feelings of their children. Because after each family has its own, it is easy to ignore the children.

It's really out of place for a child to be caught in the middle. I hope that parents can have a little more responsibility. Because the child is the most innocent one.