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When the parents are still alive, the brothers and sisters will often get together during the New Year's holidays, so that although everyone is very busy, they will often go home to see them for the sake of their parents. Therefore, siblings will still see each other often, and parents are like a bond that maintains the relationship between siblings. And once the parents are gone.
The brothers and sisters have also returned to their respective homes, and their lives are relatively busy, so the contact is gradually decreasing, and the relationship is slowly fading.
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Parents are partial when they are alive, if a pair of parents have a lot of children, then they have the favorite one, and they will have more preference for him, and other children will look at it, although they don't say anything clearly, but there is always some discomfort in their hearts. And after the death of his parents, he didn't have too many scruples, he could say whatever he wanted, and he could do whatever he wanted, and his feelings would gradually fade.
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There is no need for parents to maintain relationships. During the Chinese New Year, we always visit relatives and friends, but the most important thing is to go to our parents' house to be with them, and at this time brothers and sisters will also come, which is a rare gathering between brothers and sisters in adulthood. But if the parents pass away, then there is less of a platform to maintain the relationship, and the number of times they meet will be reduced, and the relationship will not be as good as before.
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Parents are a bond, this bond firmly binds the relationship between siblings, with their parents, they feel that they will have a desire to go home every year, and they have a desire to reunite with their homes, and their parents are gone, this inner desire has also faded, and they themselves have families, so gradually the relationship has become estranged, and gradually become non-existent.
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As the old saying goes, the eldest brother is like a father, and the eldest sister-in-law is a mother. When both parents have passed away, some families are more responsible, responsible, and behaving properly because of the eldest brother and sister-in-law, so the siblings are still close, and the relationship can be maintained. And if the eldest brother and sister-in-law, or the eldest sister do not play a good leading role, then the natural relationship is getting worse.
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The five fingers have long and short, and between brothers and sisters, there are definitely good and bad developments. When they don't have a family, they may not think so, but when they all start a family, the gap will be obvious. Those with good conditions may not look down on those with poor conditions.
And those with poor conditions may be reluctant to talk to those with good conditions, but no one pays attention to anyone's psychology, and their feelings are estranged.
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The development of brothers and sisters is different, there are always a few more promising people in the family, and a few are more ordinary. And more ordinary people can only stay in the small countryside, and their horizons are relatively low. Over time, there will be differences in values, and it is difficult to communicate with different values, and it is inevitable that they will not be close.
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Parents' eccentricity leads to the imbalance of the child's heart, no parents are perfect, there will always be children who like more, the parents' behavior may be unintentional, but in the hearts of other children is left a pimple, this pimple will make them often contradictory, after the death of the parents, there is also a big sense of old and dead do not get along, I have to say, the world is warm and cold, in a family like this can be seen, it makes people feel heartbroken.
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Because of family property disputes, disputes between several brothers or between several siblings have been continuous. Those who have a small share of property think that their parents are partial. Now the parents are gone. Who to reason with, I believe that no one can explain it except for parents.
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The eldest brother and sister did not play the responsibility of maintaining the relationship, as the only person who had the decisive right to speak after the death of their parents, the eldest brothers and sisters chose to take the lead in distancing the relationship, what can those younger brothers and sisters do? Even if you have that heart, you don't want to take that head, so you can only slowly stay away from the original big family.
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Brothers and sisters will get closer to each other the more they go. After the death of my parents, there was less contact between siblings. In addition to the factor of infrequent contact, there are also some factors that can lead to emotional estrangement.
1. Estate issues: After the death of a parent, the distribution of the estate between siblings may become a point of contention, especially when the parents did not leave a will. If one of the siblings gets more property or the property is not distributed fairly, this can lead to resentment or resentment towards him or her by the other siblings, which can alienate each other.
2. Different geographical locations: Siblings may live in different places, and even though they were once close, this distance may cause them to drift apart. Lack of communication and contact with each other can cause them to feel alienated or separated.
3. Family Responsibilities: After the death of a parent, siblings may be responsible for handling the estate, caring for a disabled sibling, or completing other necessary family matters. These responsibilities can put more stress and burden on them, causing them to connect less with other siblings.
4. Personal life and path: Siblings may gradually become estranged due to changes in their personal lives and careers. They may move to another city, get married, have children, work, and so on, so they don't have enough time and opportunities to connect in their daily lives.
However, not all siblings will be estranged.
In many cases, the relationship between siblings may become stronger because of the death of a parent, as they will rely on each other for support and comfort. In this case, siblings can get through this together by paying attention to and supporting each other.
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Many parents have passed away, and there are fewer siblings in the future, and the relationship gradually fades and becomes more and more estranged, I think there are mainly the following reasons.
1. Parents are the root of their children, and parents have to come back to see their parents when they are brothers and sisters, so they will always get together, and if they can meet, they will communicate. And if one day the parents are gone, the connection may be estranged because of this. Parents are there, home is there, parents are not there, home is scattered, this is a very true portrayal.
2. On the day when the parents were gone, the children also got married, and some of them also hugged their grandchildren, because they had to take care of their children's small families, many of them lived with their children, so it was not easy for their generation to get together.
3. Due to geographical reasons, brothers and sisters are distributed in different regions, although the traffic is very convenient now, but as they get older, many legs and feet are not very convenient, and it is not easy to go out of a long way. Usually there are red and white happy events in the family to meet!
4. It is not excluded that some families once had some hidden contradictions, and their parents could help mediate when they were alive, but one day this bond was broken, and the conflict would break out, such as when it came to the distribution of property, it was easy to have disagreements.
There are also some parents who were partial when they were young, although they will not be on the bright side, but the unfavored children may have a pimple in their hearts, and the relationship with their relatives has become more and more cold after the death of their parents, and some even do not get along with each other in old age.
In the end, I remembered that I liked a sentence very much, Chang accompanied his grandson, which was a little sad, that is, my parents are here, and there is still a way to go in life; When your parents go, there is only one way back in life. Parents are a lifelong favor, and brothers and sisters are in love for a lifetime.
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After the death of a parent in the family, the relationship between siblings may change. Here are a few factors that can contribute to the occurrence of this phenomenon:1
Property distribution issuesAfter the death of a parent, the distribution of property often becomes the focus of disputes between siblings. Some siblings may have disputes or grievances over the division of property, which can lead to estrangement in their relationship. 2.
Emotional ConflictIn some cases, there may be emotional problems or conflicts between family members, which may be exacerbated after the death of a parent. For example, if siblings have problems such as comparison or jealousy, this may become more pronounced after the death of their parents, leading to a distant. 3.
Geographical distanceSometimes, the geographical distance between family members can make it more difficult to maintain contact between them. When a parent dies, some siblings may move to other cities or countries, which can also lead to estrangement in their relationship. 4.
Different life stages between different family members can also lead to estrangement in their relationships. For example, if one of the siblings is married and has children, and the other sibling is still single, differences in lifestyle, values, etc., may cause them to be estranged. This estrangement may become even more pronounced when a parent dies.
In general, the relationship between family members may change after the death of a parent, but not all siblings will be estranged from each other, and many families will still be able to stay close to each other.
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First, the reason behind the "breakup" of parents when they are not siblings is very heart-wrenching.
1. When the parents are there, the family affection comes from the heart.
Parents' feelings for their children will affect the relationship between their children, and parents love their children, and naturally their children will naturally feel closer to each other.
And once the parents are gone, this kind of family affection in the heart will fade with the passage of time, and slowly manifest itself in the estrangement between people.
2. When there is a conflict between siblings, there is no one to reconcile.
In addition to being lively in families with many children, there will also be conflicts from time to time, and parents will often persuade them to reconcile the relationship between siblings.
But once the parents are gone, this "conciliator" is gone, and once a conflict occurs, it will naturally linger in the heart, and over time, it is logical not to get along.
3. Distance cuts off family affection.
In order to develop, people will naturally go to the big cities, which undoubtedly increases the distance between them.
Distance is not beautiful, but emotional, geographical distance is far, the back and forth will naturally be less closed, and family affection will naturally be dull.
Although there will be ** greetings and meetings during the New Year's holidays, there is still no intimate feeling at all.
4. Comparison psychology.
The development of each brother and sister is different, and there will naturally be a gap between the rich and the poor. When parents are around, they tend to "resource allocation" so that the distance between their children is shortened. Therefore, at this time, brothers and sisters often do not compare with each other, but help each other.
And when the old man is gone, there is an imbalance in resources again, and no one is deployed, at this time, both sides consider the problem from their own point of view, less for the sake of each other, and the comparison comes, and the natural feelings will fade.
This is why siblings with similar conditions have a more harmonious relationship, while those with a large gap rarely move around, or even cut off contact.
In fact, sometimes there is no harmony between siblings, which is often related to the previous inaction of parents, and parents have an unshirkable responsibility.
2. How do parents establish a harmonious sibling relationship?
1.Give plenty of love.
No matter how the child behaves, parents can give enough love and always love him unconditionally, the attitude and way of each child is the same, and the standard of education is the same.
2.No preference.
Do not discriminate because of gender differences, and treat them equally whether they are obedient or not, and whether their grades are good or bad, so that the children's psychology is naturally balanced, and they will not be jealous of each other and full of malice in their hearts.
3.Create opportunities to build sibling intimacy.
Parents can create more opportunities to build the relationship between siblings, such as assigning some parent-child tasks, so that children can work together, and in the process of cooperation, children will feel the value of brotherhood.
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Family is the most important basic unit in people's lives, and the emotional ties between family members are also very close. However, when a parent dies, some siblings begin to drift apart, a phenomenon that occurs in many families. So, why is this happening?
First of all, after the death of a parent, the backbone of the family relationship no longer exists. Parents play an important role in the family, they are the core of the family and are responsible for maintaining the stability and harmony of the family. When parents are away, family relationships change, and the interaction and getting along between siblings is also affected, and some people may feel overwhelmed and lack a sense of purpose and direction.
Second, after the death of a parent, there may be differences in values between siblings. Everyone has their own way of life, values, and life experiences, and they may have different views and ideas, as well as different attitudes towards things. These differences can lead to conflicts and disagreements between siblings, and may even lead to quarrels and conflicts.
Third, after the death of a parent, there is less time for interaction between siblings. Siblings often get together to take care of their parents while their parents are still alive, but once the parents die, they have less time to interact. In this way, the communication opportunities between siblings become limited, and gradually their relationship becomes estranged.
Finally, it may be because of property inheritance issues that lead to estrangement between siblings. In some cases, siblings may have conflicts with each other over the division of their parents' property, leading to estrangement in the relationship. If this contradiction is not resolved, it will become more difficult for siblings to interact and get along.
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He Qifang (1912 2 5-1977 7 24), formerly known as He Yongfang, was a native of Wanxian County, Sichuan. In 1929, he was admitted to the Chinese Public School in Shanghai, and published new poems. In 1931, he entered the Department of Philosophy of Peking University and began to publish his works in journals such as Modern Times and Literary Quarterly in Beijing and Shanghai. >>>More