What are the skills that can make children obedient without hitting or scolding?

I believe that many parents and friends have such an experience, that is, they always see how obedient other people's children are, and how their own children are really disobedient, and even the stick is still ineffective, in fact, this is the wrong way you usually educate your children, and the set of filial piety under the stick no longer works, so what should be done?

My family is like this, I made an agreement with my son, all kinds of good performance in ordinary life can be rewarded, bad to have punishment, but this reward is not directly given, for example, today my son took the initiative to ask to write homework, and completed very well, then reward a bar, help the mother do housework reward a bar, every time you save enough 10 bars, you can ask to buy a small toy, of course, the above also said, there must be a punishment for bad performance, so how to punish it, such as eating today did not eat well, So erase a bar on the blackboard, my child still works hard to save enough 10 bars for a toy.

Look at the other mother, who did something similar to me, but was smarter than me.

Mother: "Son, can you take this bag of garbage and throw it away?" ”

Baby: "Don't. ”

Mom: "You throw garbage in the trash can to keep the environment tidy, and Mom will give you 10 points." ”

Baby: "What can you do with points".

Mother: "You can use it to exchange for things you like, for example, if you come across a toy you like in the mall, you can use points to deduct it, save enough 100 points to exchange it for a car, and save enough 200 points to go to the playground, is that good?" ”

Baby: "Okay, I'll go take out the garbage now".

Baby: "Mommy, you feed me." ”

Mother: "Child, you are already a big child, you have to learn to eat by yourself, so let's do it, you can add 5 points to eating by yourself".

Mother: "Child, usually your mother tells you stories, today your mother is a little depressed, can you tell your mother a story, make your mother happy, your mother will add 20 points to you".

Baby: "You don't need to give me points for this, my mother usually makes me happy, so I want to make my mother happy too".

The cleverness of this mother lies in finding some small things that the child can do for the child to do, and every time she does something, she will reason with the child, plus a reward, so that the child understands that doing this thing can not only get a reward, but also other benefits, just like taking out the garbage, not only get 10 points, but also protect the environment, so that the child knows to protect the environment from an early age.

Another clever point is to let children tell stories, increase parent-child interaction, educate children not to blindly reward and punish, appropriate use of some skills is conducive to the development of a good parent-child relationship, emotion is the foundation of everything, to let children be a person with feelings, rather than a person who only knows the benefits of rewards and punishments, so that children can better survive in society when they grow up.

My trick to making my children obedient is to give them the choice and then reason with them. In fact, although the child does not have the ability to discern, we can guide him patiently, as long as the tone is gentle, the child is also happy to be guided by us.

Don't yell at him in ordinary life, control your emotions, set an example, and teach him patiently! Do it right, praise, do it wrong, criticize!

Don't beat or scold, you can reason with him, use words to persuade him, but don't repeat a sentence many times, that will make him bored.

1. When the child does something wrong, give him examples and demonstrations, and give him the right direction and guidance; Second, when the child is naughty, explain to the child the importance of danger and safety; Third, when the child cries and rebels, give the child careful guidance.

Deal with the relationship with the child calmly, and cry when the child wants something and doesn't buy it for her. You should let him calm down for a while, let his emotions vent, and then sort out things with the child and reason with them.

I think that you should treat your child as a friend, and respect your child from an early age, so that your child is willing to tell you everything, can communicate with you, and naturally listens to your opinion on everything.

Reward children, for example, if the child has done something very worthy of praise and praise, parents should give encouragement in time, so that the child has a sense of achievement.

It's good to use the reward method to guide your child. When a child does something right, they are rewarded accordingly, and when they do something wrong, there is no reward.

In the case of cultural education of many parents, the most counted way is to scold, and they feel that their children are ignorant if they are not hands-on. But is this kind of stick education really available? In fact, it can only make parents vent their anger, and it cannot have a good practical effect on children's cultural education.

After the child makes a mistake, he is very scared in his heart, and this kind of scolding can only make the child more and more afraid, more and more anxious, and finally give up on himself, which is extremely bad for his development.

If you want your child to understand that it is not correct, there are actually many ways Many children make mistakes, and they do not understand what they are wrong, and sometimes they love to be cute, thinking that some people in the family are spoiled, crying or sloppy, and the matter will pass, and they don't know what is wrong with their personal behavior.

Parents can use the method of sticking to the wall to make their children aware of their incorrectness. Standing against the wall, he can also straighten his body shape reasonably, for half an hour at a time, and then let him understand what he is wrong with, and then not happen again. When a child has an argument with another person, or has a quarrel with an adult, if the child makes a mistake, you can professionally set a place for them to sit and let him think.

Prepare a table and chair in advance, set an alarm clock, let the child calm down first, do nothing, is to sit on the chair and think, and when the alarm bell rings, then correctly guide the child to talk about his own thoughts, talk about his own reasons, and then the parents will guide him correctly to see where he is doing right and what is not right.

This kind of method is more restorative of his mind than the penalty station, and he has a lot of thoughts to think about. After many children make mistakes, parents will feel that the children are incorrect, and scold, so that the children cannot express their own thoughts. Therefore, parents should learn to communicate with their children, wait for him, understand the ins and outs of his affairs, let him express himself, and learn to apologize for his wrong behavior, instead of avoiding problems.

In this whole process, parents must be patient, the child's heart is very sensitive, threatening or stressful tone, will damage him.

This requires parents to make a lot of efforts, to cultivate from an early age, to cultivate children from an early age to have a good character, willing to listen to parents, parents to communicate with their children more, know what children are thinking, understand and respect children's preferences, and play with children, so that children are very willing to listen to parents.

The first is to educate the child well at a young age, so that the child is obedient, and the second is that there is something to discuss with the parents, and the parents should not be particularly arbitrary, and must take into account the child's feelings.

First of all, when the child is young, cultivate good self-care habits, good reading habits and good hygiene habits, and secondly, be friends with the child, do not impose your own ideas on the child, talk to the child more, cultivate a sense of trust between you, and also strengthen the parent-child relationship between you, so that when the parents give advice, the child will usually follow.

It is to communicate well with the children when they make mistakes, to let them know what is there and what is wrong, and to carry out some reward and punishment systems.

As a parent, you must find the right way, and when educating your children, you must teach them according to their aptitude, and you should also choose the method of educating your children according to your child's character, and you should also respect your child, and you should also establish your authority, but you must not use the way of beating and scolding to educate your child, you must tell your child some truth, and establish a correct three views.

One, face the wall and think about it.

Instead of being locked in a small dark room and waiting for reflection, let the child quietly recall the wrong thing he just did in the corner. You can be punished for standing or sitting, and the key is to make the child seriously alone.

Second, the child spends no time with him.

Children like to make a fuss and cry after making a mistake. Don't be soft-hearted at this time. Once the child knows that this trick has worked, he will use this method to win sympathy for every mistake he makes in the future.

Third, give a warning in advance.

Giving a warning in advance can help your child understand the consequences of his or her actions, and may be able to stop your child's wrong behavior. It would certainly be best if it could not be punished.

Fourth, don't tell your child too much truth.

After all, the child is still young, and as soon as your temper comes up, you will shout at him, and the child will not be willing to listen. Parental anger not only doesn't solve the problem, but it also makes it more and more difficult for the child to manage.

Fifth, the time should not be too long.

Generally speaking, a few minutes between a few years of age. Too long or too short is not good, and it is easy for children to lose patience.

Sixth, the beginning and the end should be done by one person.

If the mother and the child are angry, the mother should communicate with the child after the time is over. Don't change to dad or grandma because you are angry, others can't know what happened and can't solve the problem well. It will also make the child think, "Is it that my mother is wrong but she doesn't dare to face me?" ”

This is certainly inappropriate, and education must not be excessive. 1. Be friends with your children and don't take drastic behaviors.

To educate your child correctly is to let go of your posture and take the initiative to be friends with your child, rather than acting high all the time. Parents should often have in-depth and intimate conversations with their children to convey their love for their children.

In addition, when children make mistakes, parents should first grasp the promotion to calm their emotions, and avoid taking aggressive behaviors against their children.

Treating children roughly will not only fail to make them realize their mistakes and correct them, but will also leave a shadow in their hearts and their personalities will become extreme.

2. Give your child more company.

No one can replace the love and companionship of parents, only under the careful teaching and companionship of parents can children receive better education and develop good habits.

But in real life, many parents are forced by the pressure of life to let their grandparents and grandparents come over to help watch the children or leave the children directly in their hometown.

In this case, parents are unable to provide enough time for their children, which will have a negative impact on his development.

Therefore, parents should treat their children more attentively, communicate with them more often, communicate more, make more calls, and keep abreast of their life and learning, so that they can feel that even if their parents are not around, they are still caring and loving themselves.

1. Parents should calm down their disobedient children first. Then communicate calmly with your child and take appropriate measures. But don't look too angry, and don't talk about your child and tell you all about the mistakes your child has made before.

Parents should remember that when talking to their children, they should remember that they are right and not right, and that they should not make too many associations, and do not casually label their children as "disobedient" and "unobedient". After all, children are growing up, and sometimes parents' language can have a big impact on them. Parents should also remember to choose the right time when reasoning with their children, and if they are both emotionally out of control, they should not talk at this time.

When both parties calm down, reasoning can be effective and allow children to grow up healthily.

2. Parents should avoid loud voices, which can usually be seen at home, when children do not stop talking, the tone of the parents' ridge will become higher and higher, and the voice will become louder and louder. And after the parents lost their temper, the child also cried and played a tantrum. And in the end, it is the parents who pull down their faces and lower their heads to persuade their children.

In fact, in this case, not only will the temper of both parents and children become bad, but also the best opportunity to educate children will be lost.

3. Be patient and accept and find the reason from the child's point of view. Is it because the child is uncomfortable, or is his true desire not understood? There are good and bad emotions, don't refuse to ignore the bad emotions, to face the child's bad emotions, please be patient and accept, give the child the right to speak, and let the child express his demands and reasons first.

4. Teach children to recognize emotions and express them. Parents need to help their children learn to describe their feelings and say what they really need. For example, when a child is angry, guide the child to express his feelings, and some children will say that I feel very uncomfortable and want to hit someone; Some children will say that I want to smash everything I see.

When your child is able to describe positively in words, you are already starting to have the ability to manage your emotions. To help children understand emotions, parent-child reading is a better way. With the help of books, children can learn about emotional language.

Stories are often a microcosm of the real world, where children can identify different emotions and understand how people deal with different emotions such as anger, fear, happiness and sadness.

5. Parents should self-examine to see how their children grow up. A child's temper is closely related to his parents. A parent who loves to lose his temper often ends up educating his children to become tantrums.