Is there any joke, I m depressed right now

One day Xiao Ming dressed up carefully, drove a sports car, and was very excited to participate in the friendship, he thought, the conditions are so good, it must be the favorite object of many hot girls, but unexpectedly three dinosaur girls were assigned to sit in his car, Xiao Ming was so angry that he didn't want to say a word, and drove with a bitter face, but the dinosaur girls opened their mouths Handsome guy, you are in a bad mood! Why don't you speak? Xiao Ming is cold: Have you ever seen a garbage truck driver talking to garbage?

Young man, you think you are sad, in fact you are not sleeping, you think you are irritable, in fact you are not full, you think you are missing, in fact you are too idle. Ah, young man.

I don't care, I can't have a chemical plant near my house, but I want chemical products, I can't have a base station, but I want a signal, I can't build, but I want a map tunnel viaduct, you can't kill small animals, but I want to eat game, I don't care, you go get it for me, you must cure me when I'm sick, otherwise I'll smash the hospital.

I went to buy watermelons with my daughter-in-law, and I didn't give cheap to sell watermelons. Me: It's the same watermelon, everyone sells one piece, why do you sell it for five? He: The same daughter-in-law, how can everyone else's 100 catties be 15 for you? Me: You wait for me to calm down for a while.

1. Lunch at the office. After eating, everyone chatted, the director took out a match, and his colleague Xiao Sun immediately took out his lighter and handed it over.

The director frowned and said, "Do you want me to pick my teeth with a lighter?" ”

2. The director of the bureau brought a few tables and asked the director of the office to make suggestions on the working environment in the bureau.

The director of the office asked the female secretary Xiao Zhang to help him write it, and after writing it, he handed it over to the director without reading it.

A few days later, the director called the director to his office and said to him, "Your suggestion, but how do you know so clearly about the women's bathroom?" ”

3. There is a bonsai jujube tree in the boss's office, and there are a lot of jujubes on it.

Outcome... The boss called me and told me to go to his office.

As soon as I entered the door, the boss asked me with a calm face, "Did you pick a date?" ”

I was shocked: "How do you know?" ”

The boss said: "This tree bears a few dates, I count the days, and today I found that there is one missing!" ”

I had no choice but to admit it, and hurriedly said, "Boss, I can compensate you as much as I want." ”

The boss was even more angry: "Compensation? Can you afford it? Don't underestimate this date, you have the ability to grow it on a tree for me! ”

The fox was walking down the street and ran into the old wolf. The old wolf stretched out his hand and gave him a big mouth: "Let you not wear a hat."

The fox went home depressed and got a hat to put on.

The next day, I ran into the old wolf again, and I was slapped again: "Let you wear a hat." ”

If so, I was beaten several times. The fox thought, it's not a problem to be beaten so much, no, I have to complain to the tiger.

As soon as I arrived at the door of the tiger's house, I heard the tiger talking in the house: "You can't always be so unreasonable and beat the fox, and the fox will complain to me when I turn around, and I won't be able to cover you." Let's get by on the face.

I'll teach you a trick, and the next time you see the fox, tell him, "Get me some laundry." He brought you soap, and you beat him up, saying I want laundry detergent, who told you to take soap.

He brought laundry detergent, you can also fight, saying I want soap, who told you to take laundry detergent. Or you tell him, 'Go, find me a woman.'" He finds you a fat one, and you beat him up and says I want to be thin; Find you a thin one, and you will also beat it up, saying that I want to be fat.

If you don't end it like this, you can beat him, and I can talk about it in my face. ”

When the fox heard this, he said, let's stop complaining and go home.

The next day, the fox ran into the old wolf again in the street. The old wolf shouted, "Go, find me some laundry."

The fox was not in a hurry: "Do you want laundry detergent, do you want soap?" ”

The old wolf listened, huh? There's a hand. And he said, "Go, find me a woman." ”

The fox was still unhurried: "Do you want to be fat or thin?" ”

The wolf was stunned, and there was no reason to hit it. But the wolf only hesitated for a moment and beat the fox again, and said as he beat back, "Let you not wear a hat!" ”

It's not interesting to read jokes, and you can't stand reading words when you're depressed.

Watch some comedy, or listen to Guo Degang's cross talk. Guo Degang's stand-up is also good.

When I was depressed before, I watched a lot of Guo Degang's TV series "Zhixian Ye Guangming", "The Great Detective", "Qing Guan's Clever Decision on Housework", "Chasing Happiness and Running", and I just laughed at it, and my mood was naturally good.

A group of fearful husbands were gathering together to discuss how to revive their manly spirit, and suddenly they heard that their wives were coming, and everyone fled in all directions, but only one of them did not run, why? The answer was stunning.

The next "lazy man's book" is a software that has what you want.

1. There are too many unsatisfactory things in life, I have deeply felt it in the past two years, and I am also very depressed and depressed, so sad that I want to cry!

2. I am a person who is easily upset because of others, whether it is an acquaintance or a stranger, such a character, I am really tired, I know that there is no need to be angry, but the mood will always be very depressed.

3. Depressed, how can there be such a person with such a head in the water! I don't have money, I still procrastinate there to move, and this is the worst decision I made in this life!

4. What is happiness? For me, sometimes the little details will be happy, and I don't know what the future will be, and I will keep moving forward. I found that I was very inexplicable, depressed because of small things, and I really shouldn't have it, and I always told myself to be open, so that I wouldn't be very tired to live.

Hopefully it can change.