How to communicate with high school students who are judging against students

We all know that children are in adolescence at the age of 12-18, and they are just in the busy time of middle and high school. So, as a parent and teacher, how should you deal with these rebellious behaviors of your children? And how do you communicate with a rebellious child in high school?

1. Patience

Children in this period have a strong sense of self, and they do not like to listen to the opinions and opinions of others, and they do not pay attention to them at all. At this time, if parents are as grumpy as their children and do not listen to their children's thoughts and opinions, they will have conflicts with their children, and in serious cases, they will even have a sense of distance from their children, so that their children will not be close to themselves in the future.

2. Understand your child's feelings

As a parent, we must be good at understanding the child's feelings, thinking about the problem from the child's point of view, fundamentally understanding the child, understanding the child's needs and giving feedback accordingly, so that getting along with the child will become much easier and more harmonious.

3. Find out the psychological reasons for resistance

Understanding the child does not mean not making rules, but when setting rules for the child, for those rules that he has always resisted, I no longer "enforce" them without saying anything, but find out the reasons for the child's resistance, and then find a way to solve it. Respond to the child's psychology and behavior, do not force the child but at the same time have their own principles, find a neutral point between the child's thoughts and their own principles, and strive for a balance.

Extended reading: What to do if your child is rebellious How to communicate when your child is rebellious a>

1. You can't blindly talk about adolescent parents, and the ** criterion is not to nag, talk less and do more. Because they have experienced more than ten years of indoctrination education, they will slowly develop a sense of fatigue. In adolescence, when the outlook on life and values are perfected, they will have their own ideas, hoping to express them urgently, and have a sense of independence, and they are very disgusted with the implantation of parents' values.

2. Two-way communication is a two-way communication, and children must have the opportunity to express their ideas. In adolescence, children will have a need for autonomy, and parents need to give their children enough face, so as to eliminate communication barriers and make communication smoother. Children should be given full autonomy in some relatively small choices, even if they mess things up, they are within the scope of acceptance.

Although some big things can not be decided by the child, but it cannot be completely vetoed, you should listen to the child's real thoughts and opinions first, not only give them the opportunity to express, but also close the relationship between parents and children, and understand the child's values.

3. Give children a certain amount of affirmation and encouragementEveryone wants to be affirmed and praised by others, and the same is true for children. Every time you communicate with your child, you should first affirm your child's strengths and then point out their weaknesses. Compliments require a certain amount of skill, and they should not be too flashy when expressing affirmation, so as not to make communication more difficult.

4. Do a good job of guiding the work of different times, parents' thoughts should also keep up with the pace of their children, do not take out their own young experience to educate children, their own experience is only a reference value, can not be forcibly instilled into their children, not only will make them disgusted, but will bring uncontrollable consequences. When your child is faced with a problem or choice, don't tell them what to do, let them make their own choices. False shouting.

1. Reflect on your words and deeds and be a qualified parent. When there is a communication barrier between parents and children, parents should first reflect on themselves and whether they have inappropriate language and manners in their lives that hinder further communication between children and you. Here you can refer to the "Ten Good Habits of Good Parents" proposed by Gu Xiaoming, the Zhonglu education instructor in the family, as a model for learning.

2. Guarantee the time for communication and provide equal communication space. Parents should not use busyness as an excuse to neglect communication with their children. Most of the parents of high school students have entered the development period or peak period of their careers, and they are the backbone or leaders of the unit.

They are busy with work and socializing after work, and have no more time to spend on their children, especially some parents think that they can no longer tutor their children academically, so they leave all the responsibility for educating their children to schools and teachers.

3. Master the methods of communication and broaden the topics of communication. Communicating with children is a science, and it is necessary for parents to master certain communication methods. Parents should carefully observe and study their children, children have different psychological development characteristics at different ages, and family education must be carried out according to the characteristics of children's psychosomatic development.

Change "I speak" to "I listen" and listen carefully to the children's voices. When listening, you should maintain a high degree of concentration, let the child feel your attention and respect, and affirm the child's reasonable words through language, gaze or posture, do not rush to correct the child's wrong views, do not interrupt the child's speech, and understand the prejudice or misunderstanding that may arise due to the child's limited age and expression ability, and the inability to accurately express the inner thoughts of the child.

The premise of educating your child is that you have a good relationship and give him advice like a friend, not a command.