Why is there a taboo of not accepting and not giving away when you get married?

There are some such sayings in traditional Chinese culture, the taboo of not taking it and not sending it. Auntie not picking up means that the aunt cannot take away the newlyweds, and sister-in-law not sending it means that the sister-in-law cannot send the newlyweds away. This argument stems from a traditional Chinese belief that aunts and sisters-in-law are "unmarried" in marriage and bring bad luck.

Specifically, there are several possible explanations for this statement:

1.The traditional belief is that aunts and sisters-in-law are "unmarried" in marriage, which will bring bad luck. Aunts and sisters-in-law play an important role in traditional marriages, and they may bring some disadvantages in the marriage, such as destroying family relationships, leading to discord between husband and wife, and so on.

Therefore, to avoid these bad lucks, newlyweds should avoid contact with their aunts and sisters-in-law.

2.The traditional belief is that aunts and sisters-in-law are "unmarried" in marriage, which will bring bad luck. However, this statement is not entirely accurate.

In fact, aunts and sisters-in-law play an important role in marriage, and they may have some positive effects in the marriage, such as helping newlyweds adjust to their new home environment, providing advice and support, and so on. Therefore, to avoid these positive effects, newlyweds should avoid contact with their aunts and sisters-in-law.

3.Conventional wisdom holds that aunts and sisters-in-law play an important role in marriage, and that they may bring some disadvantages to the marriage, such as destroying family relationships, leading to discord between husband and wife, and so on. However, this statement is not entirely accurate.

In fact, aunts and sisters-in-law play an important role in marriage, and they may have some positive effects in the marriage, such as helping newlyweds adjust to their new home environment, providing advice and support, and so on. Therefore, to avoid these positive effects, newlyweds should avoid contact with their aunts and sisters-in-law.

In short, there is a taboo of not accepting and not giving away when getting married, mainly because the traditional belief that aunts and sisters-in-law play an important role in marriage and may bring bad luck. However, this statement is not entirely accurate, and newlyweds should avoid contact with aunts and sisters-in-law to avoid these positive effects.

It's a very traditional phrase. It is said among the people that if her aunt comes to pick her up, then she will have no status in her mother's family, because she is going to get married, and in that case she is undoubtedly driving herself out. And if the sister-in-law goes to send it, it will give people a truth, as if she is driving her sister-in-law out.

Therefore, there is a taboo among the people that the aunt does not accept and the sister-in-law does not send.

In fact, this saying is very easy to understand, aunts and aunts are married peopleAlthough the man's aunt said that the relationship was very cordial, but after all, she was married, so she could not greet the newlyweds on behalf of her mother's family, so the groom could not let her aunt pick up when she greeted the bride, because the aunt represented someone else's family, and she must have relatives in her own family to pick up her relatives, and the second aunt is also a very important person for the woman, but she is also a person who marries. It is also necessary to use the relatives of the family to send relatives, in fact, this sentence is mainly inherited from ancient times to the present, and there is still a certain truth.

I think this proverb is mainly to say that the daughter who marries out is the water that is spilled, and she is already a member of someone else's family, and for the bride, you should also keep in mind that since you have married someone else, then you must put the interests of the man's family in the first place, and I want to put all my attention on the mother's family again, this proverb has been inherited from ancient times to the present, in fact, it is more of an unfairness to the woman, although the woman has been married, but it is still very close to her relatives in her own family, It is not possible to deprive the woman of some rights just because she marries out and writes indiscriminatelyIn ancient times, because of the preference for sons, the interests of men would be put first.

There are a lot of customs to be aware of when getting marriedAs this proverb says, it is very important not to pick up the aunt or not to send it, whether it is a man or a woman, you need to consider the problem of pick-up and drop-off candidates, for fear that if you choose badly, your marriage will have problems, in addition to this problem, there are many things that need to be avoided when getting married, which have been inherited from ancient times to the present.

This proverb should be very familiar to people everywhere, because they will avoid this issue when they get married, and it may be that the customs and habits inherited from ancient times to the present are not very easy to change.

There are a lot of particularities in rural marriage customs, among which there is a saying that "aunt does not accept, aunt does not send", so what is the importance of this? In fact, this is a kind of Chinese culture, let me give you a specific explanation:

1. Not accepting it is actually a traditional perception of women who marry out:

My aunt is one of the closest relatives in China, but why can't my aunt take her relatives? This is because this person has a saying, that is: the girl who marries out the water that is set aside.

This is a traditional concept of ancient China, modern people may not understand very well, let me explain to you, in ancient times, the family had a lot of regulations, after a woman got married, she must go home with the permission of her parents-in-law, that is to say, as a wife, you can't have your own ideas, and you can't rely on the previous family, so the family will not pay too much attention to the girl who marries.

Second, the aunt does not send, in fact, it is also a family concept:

Although the aunt is a very close person, because the aunt is a girl who is married, and the aunt sends it, it has a very bad meaning: that is, the daughter-in-law can't take it back! In fact, this is a very superstitious statement, but in ancient times, people were more superstitious, absolutely married women, and if you want to give it away, it is obviously very unlucky, and it seems that you can't go home.

Therefore, the aunt was not able to send her relatives, and this custom has continued to this day.

Based on the above ending, you can see that the aunt and aunt are actually married women, so they can't do some things in marriage, in additionMy aunt and aunt are close relatives, so I can help with household chores at home and help with some of the things I need to prepare for marriageTherefore, basically aunts and aunts will not be idle.

I don't pick it up:

The aunt is the aunt on the man's side, when the southern family picks up the bride, they are all men and women in the village or the people in the village are married to the village, they are all persuasive, and can also make some decisions on behalf of the man, some of the stewards are even greater than the man's parents, and the steward will be responsible for everything on the day of marriage, and the aunt can help although she is an elder, but it is not allowed to pick up relatives, and the aunts are all people who marry out, and the relationship with the village is becoming more and more estranged. This is the matter of the village, of course, outsiders will not interfere, and the implication is not good, the homonym of the aunt is "lonely" in the rural marriage customs of a lot of things to avoid, and this is also one of the aspects, the day of the big day can not mean that their nephew will be alone, so it is generally picked up by the aunt, sister-in-law or aunt in the clan.

Aunt does not send: this aunt is not a woman or a man, is an outsider, only the right to drink wine, help will be ridiculed, in the countryside to send relatives are generally the elders and brothers in the woman's family and the aunt in the clan, sister-in-law, aunt can be, although the niece can come when the niece gets married as an aunt, but can not follow the team of sending relatives, and the woman's sister or sister can not be accompanied, there is something to say, they are now or will be people with foreign surnames, Especially this aunt, itself is not good in the meaning, and the harmony "doubt" has the meaning of doubt, rural marriage is a lot of things that children can not be sloppy, so many people pay more attention, people will give them the best blessings and meanings, and there may be any bad meaning of people or things when they get married.

Aunt doesn't pick up: It stands to reason that my aunt is a person who is very close by blood, why can't someone so close take it? This is because, in the past, people believed that although the aunt was a very close person, after all, it was a person who was married, and after marrying out before, she belonged to a "person with a foreign surname", so the big thing of receiving relatives still had to be done by her own family, so her aunt couldn't pick it up.

Aunt does not send: Giving marriage is to send the bride with the man's welcoming team, and the saying that the aunt can't send it is the same as the aunt can't pick it up, and it is also because the marriage belongs to the "foreign surname".

In fact, there is another interpretation of this sentence, everyone knows that the aunt and nephew themselves are not only very close people, but they are also a family with the same surname. The parents of the aunt and the groom are of the same generation, and the aunt is also called the aunt, which indicates that the aunt is the same as the parents. The parents-in-law don't accept the kiss, so the aunt of the same status naturally can't get married, otherwise the price will drop.

Then it is very understandable that the aunt does not send it, and the aunt is a truth, the aunt is the aunt of the bride, and the bride's mother is a sister, also known as the aunt, and the mother is the same status, and the daughter's parents will never send it when they get married, otherwise it is also very cheap, and it seems that the mother's family has no identity.

These two explanations are more inclined to the second one, in fact, these are the old principles of the past, with the progress of society, although many folk customs are still retained, but they are still changing, and now many people are not so particular, aunts will pick up, aunts will also send. And there are often both parents to pick up and drop, now many weddings will hold ceremonies, and some are married to other places, at this time the wine will be divided into two times, in the man's side of the banquet, will also be held on the woman's side once, at this time usually both parents will be on both sides of the banquet.

Hehe, there is nothing to say, this is actually a kind of cash for patriarchy, because the water spilled by the married daughter will be someone else's family, and the bride's family and the groom's family are all outsiders, so they are not used to pick them up.

In the old era, rules and customs were used to flaunt the differences between men and women, so that classes could bind women.

Marriage customs should still be paid attention to, not only for the happiness of marriage, but the key is to avoid unnecessary trouble. In any case, many of the customs that have been passed down are still good to listen to the old man and implement them. The wedding road is festive, and it doesn't affect the overall situation.

It's just that the aunt can't go out to pick up, and the aunt can't say goodbye.

I think it's just that my aunt doesn't accept it, and my aunt must be particular about it, because my aunt's family is definitely not good, because I can't marry or there is something bad about my family.

Superstitious sayings, nothing to pay attention to.

The custom of "aunt does not pick up and aunt does not send" is found in many places, especially in the north, which means that when marrying, the man's aunt cannot follow the wedding team to pick up the bride, and after receiving the bride, the woman's aunt will send the bride over with the wedding team. In addition, in some areas, there is a saying that "aunts don't pick up, aunts don't send, and aunts don't need it".

Why don't you pick up your aunt and don't send it? There are two ways to say this thing. One of the explanations is that "Gu does not accept the aunt and does not send" is a false rumor that "Gu does not accept doubts and does not send".

"Gu does not accept doubts and does not send" is a marriage clause agreed by both parties in the previous marriage letter. "Gu Bu Accept" means: Although the marriage contract is signed, if the woman is found to have violated morality and ethics after the marriage (Gu Bu), the man has the right to regret the marriage.

"Suspicion" means that even if a marriage contract is signed, if it is later discovered that the man has made a major concealment (suspicion), the woman can also break the contract. Because people in the past were not literate, after oral transmission, it slowly became "aunt don't take it, aunt don't send it".

Another explanation is that the groom's aunt is mostly the daughter of a marriage, and the married daughter can only represent the husband's family and not the mother's family. When getting married, the family must pick up the relatives in person, and cannot be picked up by outsiders, so as to avoid misunderstanding. The aunt is also a married person, and she is also a foreign surname, and marrying a daughter is a major event, and it should be sent by the family in person.

I feel that there is some truth in these two statements, which correspond to the tradition of ancient times.

In addition, the married sister cannot and cannot represent the mother's family to receive and send relatives. There is truth to both claims.

So who is the right person to pick up and drop off when it comes to getting married? Unmarried siblings are naturally the best, and under the leadership of the elderly, they can first familiarize themselves with the procedures of welcoming relatives by picking up and sending off relatives. The elders who pick up and drop off the newlyweds are responsible for educating the newlyweds, and the content of the education is mainly to instruct the bride that from today onwards you are a member of the in-laws' clan, listen to your parents at home, obey your husband after marriage, honor your in-laws, and so on.

Therefore, the elders who pick up and drop off their relatives are generally selected from the returning daughters. The daughter who returned refers to a woman who originally had a foreign surname and married into her husband's family and converted to her husband's surname, such as an aunt, aunt, or aunt. Modern people have a much wider social communication, and the bride and groom have more classmates, comrades-in-arms, colleagues, and friends in addition to their relatives, so it is not impossible for these people to pick them up.

However, the tradition of not accepting the aunt and not sending it has been preserved, and it has shown respect for the other party. You should also choose to pick up and drop off your relatives, and you can't find people who don't abide by women's morals, nor can you find divorced people, but seek good luck.