In the eyes of others, we are always happy?

Today, I just want to take this to vent, mainly because there are a lot of things in this strange city I don't know who to talk to, so...

Speaking of the city of Nanchang, it is actually not unfamiliar, I have been living in this city for 6 years, but it has changed from strange to familiar to unfamiliar to unfamiliar <>

Here I met my husband, and gradually I had no friends, only to chat with colleagues at work, but colleagues and friends are different, and many things are unwilling to be told to colleagues. Then it's time to go home. I've known my husband for 4 years, but if I think about it, I always ask for peace when I quarrel or lose my temper.

After we quarreled, we basically didn't talk about the cold war, I didn't say anything about him, he could ignore me for a few days, and in the end I went first, and so far I can say that I have never said a word of sorry to me, but I am used to it. I'm a little older than him, but I'm only a few days older, and I wash and cook the clothes at home, and it's nothing. But when I find a husband, I definitely hope that he loves me and cares about me, but I never feel it, I only say I loudly when I cry, and never care about me and comfort me, maybe it's just a hug, but no, it should be said that you haven't taken the initiative to give me a hug since I met you.

Sometimes, I ask, do you really love me? (I know I can't ask), you are: love.

I said that you don't care about me or don't love me, you said that your personality is like this, you can't say some sweet words, you don't know how to care. Is that really the case, in fact, I don't believe it from the bottom of my heart. Actually, there are a lot more, but I don't want to talk about it anymore, and I feel that my endurance is really good, okay, let's stop here.

But despite this, in the eyes of others, we are always happy. The affairs of two people, only they know. Some people may think that I am hypocritical, I just want to say it, and it is really sad to hold it in my heart.

Rabindranath Tagore said, "A bird wants to be a cloud, and a cloud wants to be a bird." "We will find one thing, in the eyes of others, we will always be happy.

When we were children, adults envied our carefreeness. When we are bachelors, others envy our freedom alone. When we got married, others were jealous of the pressure of not having children.

After the birth of a child, others envy us for not having a child's schooling. After the children are studying, others begin to be jealous again, and we don't have to think about the children's marriage for the time being......We are far happier in the eyes of others than we actually are.

Some of them are intentional to us. For example, many couples will have a quarrel, two people have a cold war, but they still have to attend a friend's party or someone else's wedding. At this time, I had to let go of the dispute between the two people, pretend to be very affectionate in front of others, and give them the best wishes.

Especially sensible couples know that in front of their elders, they must report good news or bad news, no matter how big a conflict occurs between two people at home, but in order not to worry the elders, the two people pretend to be fine. Although this is an "illusion", in front of the elders, we will tell us to live a happy life.

The standard of happiness in our minds is different from others, and the natural conclusion is not the same. If you are a billionaire, your happiness may be to find someone who truly loves you, not someone who values your money. In the eyes of ordinary people, billionaires are already winners in life, what else can't be satisfied?

But the more assets you have, the narrower your choice of mates will be, and the more you will be afraid of others coming for your money, not because of love. This is a paradox.

In the end, I think the root of our happiness in the eyes of others is that they only see the bright spots in our lives and do not see the pain we go through. Naturally, they always feel that our lives will be happier than real life. They can't go through the troubles of family chores for us, and they won't see the hard work behind us.

In the eyes of others, the success of every successful person is nothing more than an accident. In the hearts of successful people, they fully understand how much they have paid to achieve today's achievements. This process is unknown.

No, my happiness comes first and foremost from comparison.

Only with the right comparator can we feel real happiness.

As ordinary people, of course, we can only compare ourselves with ordinary people, with people we know, with people we know, with people we know, with people nearby, with our colleagues, friends, neighbors and relatives. As long as you live a little better than them, then you will feel happy; As long as your children are a little more prosperous than others, you will feel happy.

As a man, he was able to support his family and get home from work with a hot meal. The wife is gentle and virtuous, the children are motivated and sensible, and in their spare time, they do what they like, play games and see**. If you have money, of course, you can also travel, which is a man's happiness.

As a woman, it is a woman's happiness to have a stable job of her own, so that she has the confidence not to reach out for money, her husband is considerate to her family, her children are filial, her family is harmonious, she is young and beautiful; Every type of person has their own sense of happiness, and I think this sense of happiness is not the same, just like Mr. Lu Xun said: The joys and sorrows of human beings are not connected, I only think they are noisy. Nowadays, people like to stand on the moral high ground to evaluate others.

However, it is impossible for human individuals to empathize with these four words in the emotional hunger spring, because this sentence itself is understood in the current society, and it will be explained as follows: 1. Most of the time we don't care about the feelings of strangers' limb nuclei at all, because this society makes everyone feel tired, and even if they want to care, they may be misunderstood as caring with other colors; 2. When we care about others, we don't actually understand the development of things, but we just try to understand from our own perspective, so we are undoubtedly creating a fake intimate relationship and trying to pull in the relationship with each other in this way; 3. If you connect everything with yourself, the weight you feel in your heart is indescribable.

Hello, no, because everyone's understanding of happiness is different.

In real life, many people often attribute their happiness to the material level, thinking that if they reach a certain age, do not have their own house, and do not have a relatively decent car, they will have an inferiority complex in their hearts, thinking that they have a sense of frustration. In fact, I don't agree with this kind of thinking, although the material aspect is very important to us, but whether a person's heart is truly happy, in fact, is **in their own heart, **in their own mentality to maintain and adjust.

When other people around us are more successful in their careers, have their own luxury cars, and have their own spacious and bright houses, these will naturally make us envious, which is human nature, but we should also be aware of the people around us, the reason why these people can succeed is also due to their own efforts, from their own innate advantages or a certain amount of luck, and for these, we should not be too entangled and caring, many times, As long as we work hard enough, we will not be able to achieve the same living conditions as the other person, and we should not blame ourselves and be too annoyed.

In fact, like our parents' life, at our age, there is no car and house at all, and even household appliances are luxuries for them, but they live very happily, the real sense of happiness, in fact, is still ** in their own hearts, many times, when we can look at ourselves objectively, look at some of their own advantages and their own achievements, then we will no longer be annoyed by too much anxiety because of life, when we envy others, In fact, those who have a house and a car may also envy us in some way, so in many cases we need to change ourselves, this too utilitarian mentality, in order to let ourselves truly find the true meaning of happiness and joy in life.

I wish you a happy life.