How do you communicate with a child who is particularly extreme during puberty?

Parents' love for their children should not only be "giving" and not "taking", in this environment, parents' love will gradually depreciate in the minds of children, children should be made to understand their parents, you can try to "spoil" to your children, so that children know how to love their parents.

This kind of problem is best combined with the child's age, gender and other factors specific problem analysis, recommended to you a psychological expert open class, last time I listened, you can ask the expert questions online, so that the expert answer is more targeted, this Friday's topic is just parent-child communication, you can try, you can search.

It's free to attend, and I hope you find it helpful.

I think the first thing is to understand why children are so extreme, whether it is caused by insufficient communication with children. If this is the case, then you must first find out your own reasons, when the child is emotionally unstable and particularly extreme, do not confront him with the needle, you can show weakness in front of him and remain silent; After he is emotionally stable, start with other aspects, chat with him, and then inadvertently talk to the problem that you think he is particularly extreme, only by chatting often and making friends with him, can you communicate with the child slowly, and after this period of time, it will be much better. In addition, don't say that your child is not in front of outsiders, don't attribute all the wrong to your child, and see more of your child's strengths.

You can also learn about your child's thoughts through other people (such as your child's friends and most trusted relatives), find your own reasons first, and slowly understand your child's needs. I think that the usual communication is the most important, my child is now facing the college entrance examination, but his adolescent rebellion is not very obvious, he is a little dissatisfied, I will not speak, until he is emotionally stable, and then communicate with him, so he is basically stable.

This has always been a difficult problem for most people, because every family is different. You need to understand what kind of state you are in, whether you have time to communicate with your children, remember that it is communication, not parental education. Your image and status in your child's mind, and whether your child is willing to communicate with you.

Another is the way of communication, learn to listen, you can search the Internet for how to listen. The other must be kept secret, otherwise there will be no next communication. Extreme emotions can be caused by parents who have not communicated or have poor communication, coupled with the influence of society or other classmates, or hostile emotions.

And many, many more.

Let's first understand what state the child is currently in, what relationship you are in, and then look at the problem! The other is that he also needs to admit that he is already an adult and has equal power and influence with his parents!

1.Listen to their voices: What rebellious children in adolescence need most is to be recognized and understood, and they expect to be treated as adults and respected by their parents.

Therefore, parents should try to listen to their voices and make them feel that their opinions are also valued. 2.Respect them:

Parents should respect their child's decision, try not to use violence or threats, and make the child feel supported and understood. 3.Find a time to talk:

Parents should find the right time to communicate with their children, do not arrange communication when the child is watching TV or doing other things, but try to treat communication as a normal thing at the specified time. 4.Don't blame and scold :

Parents should try not to blame and scold their children, let alone use violence and threats to communicate. You should use an equal attitude, respect your child's ideas, strengthen communication, and try to avoid misunderstandings. 5.

Pay attention to children: Parents should pay attention to their children's learning and life, find out the problems of their children in time, and solve them in time. Give children a certain amount of freedom, but also have boundaries, so that they know how to distinguish right from wrong and know how to guide correctly.

Here's how to communicate with a rebellious adolescent:

The first point is to think carefully about your child's request and respond carefully. Rushing to a child's request and then rejecting it can make the rebellious child very annoyed and make it harder to trust the parent.

Some parents habitually deny and then negotiate with their children, so that the children are opposed to their parents from the beginning. The right thing to do is to tell your child that I need to think about it carefully and then respond in a way that is acceptable to my child.

The second point: look closely at the interruption of the conversation. When there is a problem in communication between parents and children, children often remain silent or retort violently, interrupting the established conversation.

In turn, parents can avoid communication interruptions by observing the interruptions and reflecting on which expressions provoke their children's disgust.

For example, if a child is very angry when he hears his parents say that he has not done well and has not worked hard enough, it is likely that he has tried hard, but the results are not good, and he is also frustrated, and the parents' statements make him more disgusted and less interested in learning.

The third point: reacquaint yourself with the child and understand his world. Parents often pay too much attention to and urge their children to learn, and this kind of single communication cannot make their children open their hearts.

If you want your child to accept it, you should talk to your child about his life and what he is interested in. Even if the child is reluctant to share, parents should support the child to do what interests him, so as to truly understand his life situation.

Fourth: change the original way of communication. Exchange opinions with your child on an equal footing, learn which communication styles are dissatisfying your child, and give feedback on ways that make parents feel upset, and explore new communication methods together.

If the child feels that the father always speaks with a straight face, he will be impatient when facing the father. The father will perceive the child as rude and act more serious, and the conversation will escalate into conflict. However, if both parties understand each other's feelings and change the way they communicate, conflicts can be avoided.

Point 5: Discuss with your child how to resolve the conflict. If it is difficult for parents to find a way to reach a consensus with their child, try to discuss with your child what to do.

For example, if a child wants to go to a distant place with his classmates, parents are prone to reflexively refuse. If you raise your worries about safety, health and other issues, and let your child think about countermeasures to reassure his parents, he will also know how to think about himself over time.

If the child is not willing to communicate, you should not be in a hurry and do not start another quarrel. If your relationship with your child is strained, then it is also a sign that you are not fulfilling your responsibilities as a parent.

Set a bottom line for yourself: I won't ...... no matter whatSuggest to yourself often that this "self-communication" method is very effective. Even if you have another argument with your child, don't feel guilty afterwards and continue to improve your behavior, and the results will get better and better.

1. Don't scold your child

Don't accuse and abuse your child, don't suppress it forcefully, you should care more about life, communicate more calmly, let him say his thoughts, and parents guide them purposefully.

2. Let go of prejudice

Let go of the arrogant prejudices of adult self-righteousness and speak to children in a didactic tone.

3. Tell a story

Tell inspirational stories with children, mainly rebellious stories, and the cases of people around you can be, so that children can clearly know what the final result of these rebellious children is, and it will be better to focus on persuasion and education for children's rebellion.

4. Trust your child

Build relationships with your children with trust and respect, so that you can continue to interact with them, learn from each other, and grow together.

5. Empathy

Understand and respect the child's thoughts, think about this problem from his point of view, sometimes the child may be right, but if the idea is wrong, communicate with the child on an equal footing, do not force, the more pressure, the more **.

6. Refuse to be verbose

Parents should not be too verbose, it is easy to quarrel if you talk too much, if the child is obsessed with doing a wrong thing, it is better to let him try, obey him, if he is angry with you, then he may not do it, if not, then let him suffer a little, long memory.

7. Appropriate weakness

Children, especially adolescent children, are more sensitive, and parents should train their awareness skills in communication.

When you feel the tension in the relationship, you should restrain and find a way to repair it, and when the adolescent child has an emotional outburst, you can't force it, and parents can show weakness moderately and reassure it, and then continue to discuss controversial topics when the child's emotions have eased.

8. Give him personal space

Children who are over-disciplined will lose the opportunity to self-adjust, and they will often be very wooden, and parents should give their children more freedom.

9. Relax your mind

Children's growth is a slow process, everyone should accept this point of view, relax a little bit, lower the requirements, we will find that children are actually very cute. Children who are rebellious are needed to live and teach them to grow.

9 typical traits of a rebellious boy:

1. I don't like to do what others say.

2. It is believed that the vast majority of regulations are unreasonable and should be abolished.

3. If his parents tell him the same thing over and over again, it will make him feel bored.

4. Praise those students who work against the teacher.

5. They think that there are loopholes in the words of adults, and the criticism of adults often causes them to be disgusted and angry.

6. Once you decide to do something, you won't change your mind no matter how dissuaded you are.

7. The more he is not allowed to do it, the more he must do it.

8. Often "go far from each other" with parents and behave differently.

9. Bad habits have caused some behaviors to become inertial.

1. Lead by example and set an example.

Children in the rebellious period don't like big truths, they always say big truths and they understand them, but they don't do it like that. Parents should learn to set an example for their children in terms of details, so that children can learn from themselves as much as possible.

2. Be a good listener.

When children reach a certain age, they will have their own ideas. However, if parents are not good at listening at this time, it may cause children to resist, which may lead to children who may not be willing to express their thoughts in the future, forming a vicious circle.

3. Try to communicate.

Communication with children is also an art, parents should actively learn and master the method of communication with children, communicate with their children in a timely manner, and grasp some of the growth of children. When a child is disobedient, parents cannot be more rude. You can try to communicate with your child, understand his thoughts, and then guide him on how to deal with his bad temper.

4. Don't criticize or scold roughly.

When children have unreasonable requirements and practices, the first thing parents should do is to explain the reason to their children, tell them the unreasonableness, and let the children realize that their behavior is wrong, and why it is wrong. For children who don't like to listen to the big truth, parents can tell some relevant stories to let them understand the truth, explain to their children kindly, and never educate their children in a threatening tone and in a rough way, this is a long-term process, and it will be effective if you insist on a certain amount of time.