What have you learned from the marriages of your elders

What did you learn from your parents' marriage?

The influence of a family of origin on children is crucial, children who grow up in a harmonious and happy family are confident, know how to love and tolerate, and have a positive personality, so that children are more likely to be happy and loved in the future of life.

And born in a family atmosphere where scolding, quarreling and abusing a child will be affected in the early stage of character formation, causing him to become a selfish and narrow-minded, no self-blame and tolerant person, because he does not feel love, let alone give love, having this kind of character will inevitably have a great negative impact on his later life.

Of course, we can also learn some truths and experiences from our parents' marriages, which will help and benefit our own marriages!

Don't get married just because of love. It is really scary for two people who love each other but are not suitable to get married. The ugly face of the former male god and goddess has been revealed, and no matter how much you love, you will hate it. Love, hate, and force themselves to accept each other, and the process of accommodating and tolerating each other is too painful.

A marriage without love is a grave, because without love, two people don't know how to understand and feel sorry for each other, and a little thing can quarrel the sky, thanks to my parents, I realized early that I would rather live alone for the rest of my life, and I would not get married for the sake of getting married, so as to avoid my own tragedy in the future.

After getting married, it is not two people who are living, but two families, and the husband and wife usually have conflicts, so they must communicate more.

You can't get married before you are financially independent, you can't get married until you have a sound personality, the relationship between husband and wife comes first in marriage, everyone else has nothing to do, and children are not the maintainers of marriage, not the sustenance of parents' ideals.

Mom and Dad never quarrel, and even if there is a conflict, they never quarrel, because when one person loses his temper and complains, the other person always listens with his mouth closed, and then does something funny to coax the other party when he is angry. I remember when I was a child, my mother was wronged at home and complained and cried while scolding, counting down my dad's inaction, etc., that posture stunned me, and my dad sat next to me in a hurry, listening to my mom crying, and from time to time got up and poured a glass of water for my mom to drink, during which she also made a grimace at me, and when my mom cried almost enough and scolded enough, my dad said that he was hungry, and the two of them went to the kitchen to cook together. It was as if everything was calm again.

Sometimes I think that love is like this, you regard the other party as the person you care about the most, the person who deserves the most tolerance, instead of treating the other party as an opponent and an enemy to compete hard, fight for you to be right or wrong, fight for you to lose and I win. Maybe you won a battle of words, but you lost in the relationship. Mom and Dad understand that quarrels hurt the most feelings, and I hope we will understand too.

Husband and wife are the core of a family, don't mistake children as the center. I belong to the very independent kind, since high school began to live, all kinds of decisions are made by themselves, and then the end of the junior year out of the country, but I still feel that my parents are too centered on me, too spoiled, so that many things make way for me, but it causes some trouble to their relationship, now I am financially independent, far away from home, they find it difficult to take care of me as before, but the two of them are getting closer and closer to each other, interdependent, often **show affection and the like, which is rarely seen before, Of course, it has something to do with their age, but I think it also has something to do with the fact that they are shifting the focus of their family from me to themselves.

A man's ability to do housework is a powerful advantage that is underrated. Behind men's housework is often equivalent to knowing how to live and live, valuing the value of family life and housework, respecting the status and value of women, and taking care of and loving their families. Dad brought a lot of good things to our family, and Mom was a lucky and unaware woman.

I myself didn't have the luck of my mother to meet such a good man, but I was still very content to be my father's daughter.

From my parents' marriage,I've learned to sit down and discuss everything I do, and two people should face the difficulties in life together, and they must also tolerate each other.

The relationship between my parents is very good, and after twenty or thirty years of getting along, in fact, a model of getting along with bright oranges has been formed. The reason why many young people choose to divorce is because they tend to become more impulsive in the process of getting along with two people, and they don't know how to tolerate it.

For two people, they should communicate more in life, no matter how important things they encounter in life, they should sit down and discuss together, only in this way can they face the direction of life together, and also make the feelings between two people become deeper and deeper. <>

It is actually very important to be less impulsive, and if you are more impulsive in life, you will not succeed in doing anything. In particular, the relationship between two people will also face a very big risk, because it is very easy to divorce in an impulsive situation. <>

I think this is very necessary, because everyone will have some problems in one or less, and for some less serious problems, you just need to endure them. In the case that you can't stand the other person, you should actually reflect on some of your shortcomings. Learning to tolerate can make the relationship between two people better and better, and it can also make two people not have too much conflict.

For husband and wife, if they can tolerate each other everywhere in life, then the probability of quarrels between two people will be reduced, and the relationship between two people can also be maintained. At present, the divorce rate in this society has become higher and higher, and for young people, they must learn to tolerate in life.

The parents' dusty marriage is also very harmonious, and you can learn a lot from them to survive or get along, that is, to learn how to get along with husband and wife, and how to live their own lives.

Learning or regretting to the point that in marriage, it is two people who are working together to maintain this marriage, although at the beginning, there is no emotion, but in the later stage, it can still be cultivated.

For the marriage of parents, I learned how to maintain my marriage luck and ruin my marriage, and I also learned to respect and understand and support each other. And two people must bend to each other, so that they can maintain their marriage.

I learned to be tolerant from my parents' marriage, because I think that in order to run a good marriage, everyone needs to be tolerant of each other. In this way, the wedding sedan chair can be more durable.

I learned to love and be faithful because my parents' marriage made me feel particularly envious, and I also learned how to love someone in their marriage.

I learned to be serious and loyal, because the love of my parents is very loyal, and the love between them is also a lifelong relationship.

I learned to be tolerant and trusting from my parents' marriage. I also learned to use humor to solve problems in the family.

What I learned from my parents is that I always have a little reservation about feelings and marriage. Reservations for self, reservations for bottom lines and dignity, and reservations for emotional giving. But you must maintain a determination to fight to the end for marriage!

A good marriage must be tolerant and understanding, and there must be a common goal. If in a marriage, you will always be the one who accommodates the other party, then over time, this mentality will be unbalanced, and in the long run, you will feel wronged and unwilling and finally turn into resentment. And in a marriage, it is difficult for two people to last long without a common goal.

Because when you want to be motivated, but the other person has been content with the status quo, then the difference in thinking will also cause quarrels. And in a relationship, when you are much stronger than the other person, the other party will be pressured and you will be disgusted.

Don't instill in your children from an early age that the family conditions are poor, the parents are incompetent, you must learn to save money, we can't give you anything and other negative information, point to the end, because what you have caused your children is a lifetime of restraint, lack of self-confidence, and even low self-esteem. If the conditions are not good, work hard to create, just eat and dress warmly. No matter how successful the parents are, they must let their children know that they can afford it when the sky falls.

Money is not saved, but slowly accumulated through the improvement of value creation.

Parents are ordinary people, there is no opportunity to go to school to read, they use hard work to support the whole family, seriously maintain the marriage and raise children, in their lives, our experience is both hard and warm, slowly my experience is to cherish the family, friendly to others, simple life is happiness.

My parents' failed marriage served as a warning to my future spouse choice. After thinking about it, what did you learn? A few items are listed, which count as a summary:

1. Love his person, not who he is.

The most important reason why my mother married my father was the so-called "soldier brother fever" in the 80s, and under the propaganda form at that time, many people's biggest dream was to marry a soldier. However, the military is only a professional identity, and it is not directly related to his own personality and preferences, nor is it related to his married life.

Nowadays, many people want to marry teachers, civil servants, and big bosses, so they need to think twice. Most of the marriages that go to the identity of the other party do not end well.

2. There must be a bottom line in doing things.

Mother was a kind person, a little too kind, so weak that she was very weak. She cares too much about what others think of her, and always thinks about "take a step back, open the sea and the sky", but she doesn't know that she has boosted her father's arrogance of disrespecting herself. Therefore, the bottom line is very important, and it is necessary to make it clear that the other party knows what is okay and what is not, and should never blindly back down.

3. It is difficult for people to be changed, especially relatives. I won't go into this one, it's too difficult to change a person.

4. Equal communication is too important, and machismo is unacceptable.

Although I am a boy, I still have to remind all girls: if your boyfriend shows excessive machismo tendencies during the dating stage, such as listening to him in everything, and you have no right to speak, please be cautious.

5. Poor couples mourn everything, and they must have an economic foundation to get married again.

Whether it's yourself, or the other person. Marriage must be cautious and choose a loving and suitable person. "Love" and "suitability" are equally important, and neither is missing. Even if you can't have it both ways, suitability is more important than love.

Appropriate consumption concepts, lifestyles, values, and interests can still make each other friends or family members. But with love alone, this volatile feeling as the foundation, the days cannot last ten Chinese New Year's Eve and fifty years.

If you can't be a parent, don't be a parent. Always be prepared for everything you need to live happily even if you get divorced.

As a man, you must be tolerant of your wife. The father also has the machismo peculiar to northern men, so when they occasionally quarrel, both of them must feel that they are more reasonable. Mother is easy to erupt, whenever this happens, the father will always bow his head and go out, walk around outside, and come back like no one, ask the east and west, ask the mother this in**that in**, the mother complained a few words, and the anger was calmed!

Men still have to be diligent once in a while. Although his father's unique machismo tendency is obvious, he still occasionally cooks it in the family, and the food cooked by his father is particularly delicious, especially the steamed buns he makes, so in my memory, when my mother is unwell or busy, my father cooks, and whenever this happens, my mother will also show a gratifying smile on her face! It is very important that the two people respect each other, the marriage of their parents is not vigorous, some are just plain, firewood, rice, oil and salt are small days, but they support each other to this day, and they are also very happy!

The reason why parents don't quarrel much is because they like to sit together and discuss how to solve problems when they encounter problems, so that until now, the happiest time in our family is the holiday time, when siblings and parents sit together, and everyone expresses their opinions, which is very happy! Therefore, communication is a very important part of an intimate relationship.

Poor couples mourn! If you quarrel all day long about firewood, rice, oil, salt, sauce, vinegar and tea, no matter how strong the love is, it will be smoothed out! It's not that you have to cry in a BMW! The key is to cry on the bike! Conclude that you must be self-reliant, and it is better to rely on yourself than on anyone!

What can you learn from marriage? I think it should be: if one person between husband and wife is willing to tolerate it, then fighting can be a lifetime, but this must not be my future marriage.

First, I learned that between husband and wife, both parties should respect each other.

In my opinion, my parents are very enlightened people, because they are highly educated, so when we are at home, our family atmosphere is relatively harmonious. Although the two of them work differently or even diametrically opposed, they rarely quarrel. Whether it is some big or small things in the family, they can sit together calmly and discuss.

My father doesn't have machismo and doesn't make decisions on his own, and my mother is not very weak, but she is talking to my father about how to do it. So in their marriage, I learned that husband and wife must respect each other's opinions, and not be able to go their own way.

Second, I learned that husbands and wives need to understand each other.

Although my father came back from work very late every day, and my mother rarely had time off, the two of them never complained about each other when they were together. Sometimes when I complain that my father is late from work, when I am dissatisfied that my mother does not have time to play with me, one of the two of them always comforts me: Mom and Dad are all for this family.

Even as husband and wife, they may not see each other for a few days, but when I talk to my mother about it, she always has a happy smile and she never blames my father for being too late from work. So in the process of getting along with the two of them, I gradually understood the meaning of understanding.

Third, give the other person some proper personal space.

Although my parents and the two of them have been married for more than ten years, there are still some little secrets between them that they have not told each other. For example, I knew that my father's private money was hidden in **, but he didn't tell my mother; For example, I know that my mother went to an idol's concert without telling my father the plane ticket she bought. Even though there are some little secrets between them, the relationship between the two of them is still the same.

So I learned that it is not necessary for a husband and wife to tell all the secrets, and sometimes it is important to keep a small space in your heart.