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1.Both parties should love themselves, and loving themselves is the premise of loving others. Only the rich can give, and those who give people happiness and happiness must also have their own lives full of happiness and happiness. It's hard to believe that someone who doesn't love themselves can be cute and love others.
2.A sense of proportion, knowing how to respect the rights and freedoms that the other party should have as an independent individual, understanding that there is a distance between people, and respecting the right of the other party to be alone.
3.Don't try to change the other person. At the extreme, hoping that the other person will change is hoping that the other person will meet some aspect of their needs and feel that their values are correct, which is actually a selfish and narcissistic behavior.
To put it bluntly, everyone is sitting in a well and watching the sky, but the size of the wellhead is different. In a relationship, trying to change the other person is contrary to the mystery of love. The right model is to lead by example and set an example through your own actions to inspire the other person's desire to be better.
4.Understand the relationship between 'giving and taking' in love. Love is not an exchange, it is not to go to the vegetable market to buy something, how much I have paid today, I expect the other party to pay the same thing.
Only when it is not true love will we consider it from the perspective of gain and loss.
5.Love one person, but also love the whole world. As mentioned in the previous article, love is a tendency that determines the relationship between man and lover, as well as the relationship between man and the world as a whole.
It is a terrible state to give up the whole world because you love one person and are indifferent to others. True love is the way to have a wider world because of loving someone.
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Hello landlord, if you say what kind of emotions are healthy when you get along, then two people when you get along, whether it is feelings or friendship. Then both parties are in a relatively comfortable state, unrestrained and not particularly depressed, it should be a very healthy emotion.
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I think it's the right time to get along, and a healthy emotional pattern is one that both of you don't hate each other, each other, and then you're willing to put something down for each other.
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When getting along, I think the relaxed love mode is the healthiest, because two people are very relaxed together, and this kind of relationship will be more comfortable and not tired.
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When getting along. The pattern is still healthy, and it is the emotion that flows through the long stream. There will be no contradictions and disputes and anything like that.
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When getting along, you should leave a certain amount of space and freedom for each other, so that the relationship model is healthy, and don't control the other party too tightly.
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Relaxed and happy, no pressure, the two talk and laugh together, lively and lively, and they will not hide it. This is a healthy way to get along.
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What kind of emotional patterns are healthy when getting along? A healthy emotional pattern is not occupied. Not Yanjuan understands and tolerates each other. Forget each other in the rivers and lakes, and support each other to walk slowly.
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When getting along, you have me, I have you, then this emotional pattern is relatively healthy.
After all, emotions are a matter of many people, not a matter of one person, so if you want to develop healthily, you must both work hard, and then you must pay for each other.
Then when you usually get along, you can work hard in the direction of mutual tolerance and mutual running-in, and strive to have a healthier emotion.
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I think it's just complete trust, don't guard the other person.
When one of the two people wants to guard the other person, they will worry that the other person will spark with other people, and worry that the other person will be attracted by other things, then this emotional mode of getting along is distorted.
Because people can't only have feelings, there are still other things, there will be entertainment and friendship, there will also be family affection, if you keep staring at each other, then in fact, it is like a guard in a prison, and you are also imprisoned.
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The emotional pattern of mutual respect, mutual understanding, mutual tolerance, and mutual help is very healthy when getting along.
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A healthy relationship is mainly about respecting each other, loving each other, caring for each other, thinking about each other at all times, encouraging and supporting.
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The healthiest and most fulfilling emotional model I can imagine (in a narrow sense, love) is probably to wake up to you at the bedside every morning when you are in a daze"Love you"Let's go to sleep satisfied. Two people are not for the past, not for tomorrow, not for the contract, for the promise, for the material to maintain this relationship. The only reason to be together is to love each other, and the only meaning of love is to be together.
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It is relatively healthy to respect each other and then have a sense of distance.
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When getting along, the health model is healthy, then two people can understand each other, tolerate and considerate, respect each other, trust and communicate well, be honest with each other, and get along well.
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When you are with your partner, you must have a healthy emotional pattern, which means that you must know how to understand each other and learn to empathize.
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Hello. The most important thing for the sexes to get along is to maintain good and effective communication is the healthiest, after all, many relationships end up breaking up because of communication problems.
Of course, only through effective communication can two people make progress and make life better.
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The emotional pattern of mutual appreciation when getting along is the healthiest. Only by appreciating each other can we take into account each other's feelings and dislikes, respect each other's lifestyles, and be tolerant.
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One of the best emotions when getting along is that two people have a particularly comfortable mode of getting along in the process of getting along, or maybe they have a particularly comfortable kind of emotion.
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When getting along, the emotional pattern of mutual respect and mutual understanding is healthy. Anything where one side is too strong and the other side is too accommodating is not healthy.
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Hello, when friends get along, wood is healthy, it must be that both parties trust each other, understand each other, tolerate each other, and do not interfere with each other's voice information and privacy are very fake.
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Feelings are the same as life, there are ups and downs, there are periods of troughs, and there are times of ups and downs. A relationship must be vigorous at first, then gradually become dull, and may eventually fall apart.
But there is also another ending, that is, in the end, it "resurrects" and returns to the previous situation. And what kind of ending of a relationship is actually up to you.
Some people are dead in their hearts and don't want to do useless struggles anymore; And some people are still deeply in love with each other, but in the wrong way. Every relationship is hard-won, and a person who has been with you for many years is not so easy to let go.
When the relationship fades and there is a problem, in fact, as long as you use the right method, you can also get back together. But the premise is that you have to know the reason for the weakening of the relationship.
Whether it's a disagreement or a disagreement, or if you don't love it, in the final analysis, it's because the novelty is gone. Freshness is the preservative of a relationship, and if the freshness is there, then the warmth and enthusiasm of the relationship will still be there.
What is the "seven-year itch" and "divorce of old age", in fact, it is because the novelty is no longer there. So, whether you are a man or a woman, you have to know that when feelings fade, smart people turn the situation around in three ways and make the other party enthusiastic:
Change the way you get along.
If the relationship has faded, then try to change the way you get along. The mode of getting along is the key to affecting the relationship between two people, some are quiet, some are peaceful, and some are slapstick.
Just like Yang Zi and Huang Shengyi in a recent variety show "Mother-in-law", the mode of getting along between them is ridiculous, loving and killing each other.
If your partner has begun to ignore you when getting along with you, then your original way of getting along with you is outdated.
At this time, you have to change the mode of getting along, if you used to be a slapstick type, then now you have to change to a quiet type, learn to understand each other more, communicate and communicate with each other more, instead of just playing as before.
When the way you get along with each other changes, the novelty comes, and the other person gets different feelings. It will make you look at each other anew.
Give yourself a change of style.
"Aesthetic fatigue" I believe everyone knows, and empathy is one of the reasons for the weakening of feelings. Some people empathize with each other because they are aesthetically tired of their other half, for example, he has the same hairstyle and the same dressing style for many years, and even many people will no longer control their weight.
Therefore, when the relationship fades, you have to learn to change your style and make yourself different.
You can go and change the popular hairstyle, hair color; You can learn how to dress online; You can start working out and keep your body shape ......
If you're a woman, you can also try changing your makeup. All in all, what makes you look more beautiful and handsome, then what you are going to make.
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1. Healthy emotional patterns.
In general, a healthy relationship requires both people to take the initiative to see themselves as partners in the relationship who need to learn and improve, and start acting from giving up complaining and changing themselves, rather than always seeing themselves as the only victim (after all, this does not help the relationship to develop in any way).
Manifestation of a healthy emotional model: two people love each other based on a basic attachment relationship, establish a unique emotional bond and connection, in such a relationship, people will unconsciously produce a wonderful feeling of belonging, will depend on each other, also want to be relied on by each other, and are willing to pay for each other.
Here are a few examples:
1) In a healthy emotional mode, although two people are attached to each other, they will also have a certain amount of self-space, rather than being overly insecure about their feelings, which will shrink the emotional space of two people more and more, and eventually lead to two people being unable to adjust their posture in the relationship and hindering each other;
2) People who are independent and self-loving are more likely to build healthy emotional relationships. Independence is not the same as "self-isolation", emotionally "self-isolated" people do not know how to engage, they will unconsciously not rely on others, so as to avoid injury. People with independent personalities can become attached to each other and enjoy personal freedom;
3) Establish a relatively equal partnership, understand the other half's desire to be loved and the fear of being hurt by the lover, in a healthy emotional relationship, two people must recognize each other's equal status in the relationship, regardless of their education and ability, and no one is more noble or inferior.
2. Improve emotional patterns.
Many people in a relationship will have two kinds of worries: worrying that they are not good enough, and the other half will not really be with them; The other is that the other person is not good enough and is not worthy of investing too much and loving with all his heart. Both of these concerns place too much emphasis on the status of the individual in the relationship, rather than putting "our" happiness first, and this kind of love is ultimately just about loving oneself.
In an intimate relationship, only mutual understanding and mutual love are the foundation of a healthy relationship model.
How to improve intimacy in practice: improve the communication model, look at the problems of two people from the perspective of emotional relationship, instead of staying in the trivial details of life, establish a positive and effective communication relationship, do not use self-justification as an excuse to prevaricate and suppress the other party, and usually justification does not bring about positive changes in the relationship between two people; Establishing a comfortable emotional space with the other half, balancing the degree of freedom and constraints of both partners, so that the partner can be attached to each other without suppressing personal needs, this is also based on the establishment of good communication between both parties.
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"Emotion" is not limited to love. The love of parents, friends, and lovers are all emotions, and the essence of emotions is the way we interact with the world and with others. And "mode", in other words, means that whether it is for parents, friends, or lovers, the way of interaction has its own similar logic and internal consistency.
There are three main types of patterns. The first is a secure attachment person, who can both rely on the lover and trust the lover. When they think of their lover, they will have a heart full of warmth and sweetness, but they also maintain a certain degree of independence, and they can also let their lover explore their own world and develop an independent space.
This is the healthiest emotional pattern, and the second is that people with avoidant attachment are unable to establish a normal attachment relationship with their lover. The lover in their eyes is just such an existence in life. When talking about the relationship with their lovers, they will only say, that's it, make do.
When the lovers leave one day, they won't be too sad. In fact, they are faint, and some even expect their lovers to leave, so they dare not invest too much emotion. The third is the people who are ambivalently attached, that is, those lovers who often quarrel.
They are overly possessive of each other and hope that the other person will not have any room for themselves except themselves. They depend on each other, but often hurt each other. The metaphor of the hedgehog who warms the group is talking about this emotional attachment.
It's a bitter love. When the relationship ends, one party may show extreme pain, and even give birth to many love terrorists who cry, make trouble, and hang themselves. Of the three affective patterns, only secure attachment is a healthy affective pattern.
How to change the latter two emotional patterns? If you are in an avoidant emotional mode, it is advisable to try to trust others and give a part of yourself to others. The essence of trust is sharing.
You can share the things you can share: time, money, things, thoughts, future life plans, according to the degree of privacy, from the easiest to the hardest, and gradually share them with your lover. And the other half of the avoidant lover is also very particular, you must be careful to accept him, make him feel that you are worthy of his trust, and the slightest complaint will make him sensitive.
Because in the end, love is two people living their lives, and complete self-sufficiency is not worth advocating, if you are an ambivalent emotional model, it is very important to learn to control your desire to control and give each other independent space. If the lover is not around for a while, it does not mean that he will empathize and say goodbye. Sometimes when he takes his eyes off you, it doesn't mean that he doesn't love you anymore.
At the same time, learn to create your own living space and develop your hobbies outside of this relationship. Remember, good love can only happen between two independent and free people. If the bundle is too tight, it's not love, it's zongzi.
Finally, there are thousands of emotions in the world, and any kind of generalization will be suspected of being missed. It just provides a framework for analyzing emotions. Roughly so.
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