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What should I do if my child doesn't listen to his parents? This problem should be dealt with from the child's three age stages, and the child's disobedience before the age of 3 can be solved by appropriate beating; 3-6 years old by ignoring him to solve, only disobedient, he does not agree to any request; It is important to listen to your child over the age of 6 and let your child experience obedience.
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Praise your child more; Talk as little as possible about the child; Be sure to pay attention to your tone when you speak; Let the child take the consequences. In home education, there is no one who loses or I win, only a lose-lose and a win-win situation. Our goal is for the child to behave in a behaving manner, to learn to behave in a way that is beneficial to both parties.
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Many parents think that their children are disobedient.
You can go directly to them. A psychological institution that focuses on the mental health of children and adolescents.
You can also ask questions on ** There will be professional long-term adolescent and child psychological counselors to help you.
They have a lot of learning activities every week, which you can refer to.
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You will find that such a family may be that the father is all right, or it may be that the mother is all right. No matter what they do, there is nothing wrong with them, they can point out countless shortcomings in their children, but they are never humble.
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Smart parents, talk to your children like this.
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1. It's not that you don't have psychological problems, but you don't know that you have psychological problems.
At that time, it was very good to be able to ensure good health, who would care if you had psychological problems? Moreover, psychological problems are often not easy to detect unless they are particularly severe. It is not like a physical problem that can be seen by the naked eye or an instrument, as long as it has no appearance, or the person himself does not admit it, it will not cause people to notice it at all.
In addition, people who are often beaten and scolded and treated roughly, it is very likely that they will also become perpetrators of violence. When he was weak, he was bullied, but once he had absolute power, he bullied others in the same way. So of course he doesn't feel that he has a problem, and the problem is someone else.
Refer to the case of Sun Xiaoguo).
This is true from generation to generation, but it does not mean that the previous education was correct or fine.
Second, it is true that there are no psychological problems, but this does not mean that there is no problem with rough beating and scolding education.
It is impossible to be bored and admit that each child's characteristics are different. There may indeed be children who are more solid, thick-skinned, and have bigger hearts. Often beaten and scolded and still alive, mentally healthy, positive.
However, this is only a part of the children, and it is possible that they have not been negatively affected by the scolding. This does not mean that scolding education will not have a negative impact on all children, and it does not mean that scolding education is correct. And even if this part of the healthy child only sees that he has been beaten and scolded, we do not see that he may have received other ways of education (such as gentle, encouraging) from the upbringing members in addition to the beating and scolding education.
For example, the care from grandparents and grandmothers, such as the influence and support from the external environment.
When such children grow up, they generally do not easily use beating and scolding education. Because his heart is positive, sunny, gentle and powerful. There are more ways and means for them to educate their children than just scolding.
3. I have suffered from psychological problems, but after self-regulation and good education, I reconciled with my past parents and successfully got out of my psychological problems.
This kind of person who has stepped out of the psychological shadow will definitely not implement beating and scolding education on the issue of children's education. Because they themselves know best how damaging it can be.
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If your child is disobedient, it is possible that what you say is not what you say, which means that the child has not absorbed your meaning or refuses to feel you.
Analyze the state of disobedience, reflect on your instructions, adjust yourself if you don't say something, and if you say something beyond your comprehension ability, you won't have correct feedback, which is normal.
Analyze the state of disobedience, what the child is doing, and whether you disturb the child's concentration.
To correct your child, or to let your child follow your guidance, you need to spend time and spend more time with your child, and your child can always interpret it himself.
In the end, don't be too stressed, how can there be a baby who listens to the stalls, it is someone else's, and you don't see it when someone else's disobedience, the angle is different, and the conclusion is different.
If you don't spend time coaxing the baby, it's strange that the baby listens to you! Line Wanghu.
There is no right one, only the right one! Slowly comprehend and grow together with the baby!
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Children are like a blank sheet of paper, parents are the first teachers of children, and parents are the first to put pen to paper on this blank paper.
In the process of children's growth, parents need to educate their children on morality, reading and learning, hobbies, independence and self-care, emotional management, etc., and the most important education is emotional stability.
Having emotionally stable parents can give their children a little warmth as they grow up. And those parents who do not know how to control their emotions not only hinder their children's physical and mental health, but also cause psychological trauma to their children.
Huang Xingzhen said: "Raising children is a practice, and it is the emotional wisdom of parents that is cultivated. Parents who shout and shout will always miss the opportunity to teach their children how to manage their emotions. ”
On the road to education, as parents, we still have a long, long way to go. If parents do not pay attention to emotional management, it will harm their children's lives for a long time.
For example, when the child is young, many parents will always yell at their child. For example, when a child makes a mistake: "How many times have I said it, next time I make a mistake, don't blame me for being angry"; When the child is doing homework:
If you can't do such a simple question, if you can't do it, don't sleep"; When the child is disobedient: "Put the phone down for me, play with the phone again, and I'll drop it!" ”…
You see, as soon as you yell, the child seems to obediently obey, so yelling becomes your daily routine, so you take yelling as a magic weapon to "educate" the child. You're even thinking, "If you can't control him when you're a kid, you won't be able to control him when you grow up."
But you forgot the saying: "How rough you were with your children when you were a child, how rebellious your children will be when they grow up in the future!" ”
Parents often only care about their own feelings when yelling, but ignore their children's feelings. Many parents always use the authority of their parents in the name of so-called love, hoping that their children will obey their words. And once the child makes a mistake, he will never listen to the child's heart, but threaten and yell.
And this kind of education with emotions is actually the most ineffective.
Jenny Arim said: "It's not terrible for children to have shortcomings, it's terrible for parents to lack the right educational philosophy." ”
Parents manage their emotions well to give their children the best education, and at the same time, they are the best role models for their children. This is conducive to the child's self-management, self-discipline and mental health adjustment. Controlling parents' emotions is the first step to the success of their child's education.
John Gottman said, "The ability to perceive and control emotions is even more important than IQ, and these abilities determine a person's achievement and happiness in all areas of society, as well as the happiness of the family." ”
Therefore, the emotional stability of parents is the greatest blessing in a child's life, and it is also based on the best education in a child's life. Parenting is equivalent to nurturing oneself, and accompanying children on the road to growth is also the path of parental practice.
I want to make my child's future smoother, and from now on, be an emotionally stable parent. There is no such thing as a perfect education, and there are no perfect parents. However, we can work together and do our best to be a good parent.
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If the child is disobedient, the following methods should be used to adjust the symptoms:
1. Actively analyze why the child is not obedient in the middle of the stream, such as whether it is the instruction issued by the parents, the behavior itself is wrong, or the words are insincere, and do not set a good example for the child, or the child is rebellious, enters adolescence, and has an independent consciousness.
2. Parents and children can be friends, but the premise is to respect each other and communicate actively, express their feelings to each other, express their thoughts about each other, parents have ideal child performance in their hearts, and children also have ideal parent images in their minds. For disobedient children, it is necessary to analyze the reasons that cause the child to be disobedient, such as whether the instructions issued by the parents and the behavior itself are wrong, or the parents have not set a good example for the child, or the child has entered adolescence and rebellious period, and has begun to have his own sense of independence. If the above problems occur, it is necessary to carry out targeted **, no matter whose problem it is, it should be corrected in time, actively communicate with the child, be friends with the child, do not always put yourself at the height of the parents, respect the child, let the child express his psychology, express his own ideas, let the child and the parents become good friends, not opposites, so as to better complete the purpose of the parents, but also to make the child more obedient.
If the child is disobedient, you can try the following methods: 1. Be more tolerant and patient, and never scold and scold the child. Scold and scold your child's behavior, otherwise it is easier to cause your child's rebellious psychology, tolerate your child, and accompany your child more.
2. Communicate more, communicate more, communicate more with children when encountering things, understand the reasons, and solve problems patiently. 3. Lead by example, parents are role models for children, parents should pay attention to their words and deeds, do not quarrel in front of their children, and create a good family atmosphere.
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Children are disobedient in class in daily life, and parents must first find problems from their own aspects. Usually in daily life, parents do not have good living habits and behaviors in front of their children, which can easily lead to children being willful and disobedient in class. Do something wrong to make the child take some responsibility:
Nowadays, we often find that our children are doing wrong things, and many parents always say, "It's still a child, don't worry too much." "In daily life, parents must accompany their children more, communicate with their children more, play games, teach children positive energy, teach children to learn polite language, and learn to respect, so as to improve the phenomenon of disobedience in class.
Parents are the best teachers for their children in daily life, and when their children are disobedient in class, the first thing parents think of is to solve it by force, don't worry. It must be contraindicated to use force to solve the problem, because impulsively hitting the child will create a shadow on the child, and it will not end well. At this time, you can let your child say what he thinks, let him know that you are angry and dissatisfied with his approach, and tell his parents that he is angry, so that he can calm his emotions.
It's not that the child is at fault, it's not the mother's fault, it's that the focus of our concern is wrong, and the way we communicate is wrong. In fact, all of a child's actions are a reflection of their true emotions and needs, even though many times, their actions may seem like vexatiousness.
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First, we might as well analyze and analyze what parents want: first go to a prestigious university, then find a good job, and find a good partner again, all three of which are the high-quality life planning maps that people look forward to! Essentially, yes, it's all very true!
That's what the parents' generation hoped, but the ideal is beautiful, but the reality is skinny - they themselves did not achieve their wishes. At this time, more than half of my life, I really don't have the ability to achieve it anymore, what should I do? Comrades, we can only hope that the children can do as they wish!
Second, parents are also unaware of what they are imposing. We're all for the good of the kids, and we've eaten more salt than you've ever eaten! That's how your life should go, yes!
Third, you gave birth to the child, so you have to listen to me, will I still harm you? In fact, parents think that their child's growth should be controlled by themselves, at least until he gets married and starts a family. As a result, parents hope to realize their unfulfilled wishes in their children, so that children can gradually realize their wishes according to their own ideas and paths, however, it often backfires, and children do not play cards according to your routine at all.
You don't see, the parents of tutoring homework are angry; You don't see, the child was not admitted to a good university, and the parents beat their chests; You don't see, the child talked about an object, and the parents disagreed with ......
All in all, it's not easy for parents! Say it, a handful of bitter tears! In fact, the deep-seated question of this question is how parents should guide their children to a successful life - that is a grand system project.
Chinese parents hope that their children can realize their wishes that cannot be realized by themselves, so they will pin their wishes and hopes on their children.
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Educating disobedient children should use multiple methods:
First of all, we must be more tolerant and patient, because disobedient children need more tolerance, more need the care of their parents, because children are too smart, may be less concentrated, more action, playful, etc., only more patience, more companionship of their children, can make children grow up happily.
Secondly, you must not scold and scold the child at will, because the child is disobedient, there may be rebellious behavior, and you can't beat and scold the child at will because the child is against you, and push the child to the opposite side, so that the interpersonal relationship is more and more tense and there are more and more contradictions.
Finally, we should actively encourage children to communicate more, communicate more, express their inner thoughts, not disobedient to deny the child's growth, but also to see the child become mature, become independent and other progressive side, and let the child continue to work hard to express their ideas, in order to solve the problem of disobedience.
Why are children disobedient and parents angry.
Matcha, I advise you to be a cat after this education.
You can try to play with them first, feel that they like you, they will listen to what you say, the main thing is to make them like you, and the children are not in a hurry to let them learn, give them a happy childhood.
PomeranianIt is easy to get injured and cannot fight. >>>More
In the past, it was either spoiled or no one cared about it, in this case, you might as well try to be hard, if you scold him, he will definitely quarrel with you, if you beat him, he will definitely run away from home, 15-year-old children are like making him sensible, it is very difficult, but you must not get used to it, now if you don't correct it, you must grow up, you must spend some effort to understand him, know why he is like this, prescribe the right medicine, for example, he wants a mobile phone, a computer, don't buy him a mobile phone, because you go to school, he can't play in class, and the mobile phone level can't be supervised by the computer, before buying, you say yes, if you want a computer, you can't ask for a mobile phone, and first about the three chapters of the law How long can you only play every day, the grades are low, the network cable is off (the requirements for the grades can't be excessive, you can do it if you want him to work hard), etc., you are his parents, there is a way to clean him up, but remember not to be too strict, if the child is too rigid, it will wear off his temper, and it will make him suffer in the society in the future The most important thing is to create a good learning environment and family environment for the child (should be mainly affected by two environments) The school is best to be a second-class school, the key school is under great pressure, and the school is easy to learn badly There should be a happy and warm atmosphere at home Don't let the child grow up in complaints and quarrels These will have an impact on his outlook on life and future behavior Summary: Children should be in charge of and should be soft enough to be moved. >>>More