Is the comparison between classmates good?

Researcher Sun Yunxiao, deputy director of the China Youth Research Center and an expert in the study of youth issues, believes that first of all, adults must realize that the comparison between children is normal and natural. For children who have been in a "backward" and "catch-up" position in the process of comparison, this kind of comparison behavior will definitely constitute psychological pressure, if there is no adult, mainly the guidance of teachers and parents, the outbreak of this pressure under the long-term accumulation is likely to produce excesses similar to Xiaoliang's behavior.

For immigrant cities like Shenzhen, foreign children may face a greater psychological gap. This requires parents and the local education system to provide some adaptive education for their children in a targeted manner. Parents should let their children have a correct understanding of the environment they will face in the future before they arrive in a new environment that is very different.

This includes awareness, acceptance, and control over one's own family's actual situation.

Sun Yunxiao suggested that schools should inculcate more "difference" consciousness in ordinary education. This year, the core value of "Education for Sustainable Development" formulated by the United Nations is "respect". As educational institutions, schools should tell students that the difference between the rich and the poor is a reality in the current society, and that the rich and the poor themselves do not determine the high or low of people.

Respecting the differences and diversity of society and respecting every individual living in this world of differences and diversity should be the focus of young people's values education.

In addition, learn to be grateful, understand the hardships of parents' lives, and tell children that in addition to money, spiritual wealth such as love and personality are equally or even more precious, and should be imperceptibly instilled in them in their daily contact with them.

Poor children cannot look down on themselves.

Wang Jian, deputy director of the Mental Health Education Guidance Center for Primary and Secondary Schools in Shenzhen and professor of the Shenzhen Institute of Educational Sciences, believes that from a psychological point of view, poor children and rich children are likely to have a natural sense of "zoning" when they interact. For this estrangement, "inspirational" education should be emphasized for poor children, so that they know that they have equal opportunities with rich children on the future development platform. For rich children, it is not feasible to adopt a one-sided way of forced personalized consumption, allowing children to show their desire to individuality, but luxury and waste should be strictly eliminated.

He said that more than half of the children from migrants in Shenzhen are currently in school, and the current education department has also strengthened teachers' concern for material differences in teacher training. For example, teachers are consciously required to treat the children of temporary residents equally in their attitudes. At the same time, guide children to shift their attention to personal interests and the cultivation of personal abilities.

In terms of correcting the child's comparison mentality, the school can complete the harmonious coexistence of poor children and rich children by adding more extracurricular psychological counseling courses. For example, the school allows poor children and rich children to sit together, provides them with an opportunity to sit down and exchange their ideas, and arranges for professional psychological counselors to guide them. Parents and teachers can guide their children first and provide professional counseling in the school's psychological counseling institutions, and professional teachers can give further advice according to the actual situation.

Of course it's not good.

It's going to form bad habits.

1. First of all, you must admit that you are always inferior to others in some aspects, which is a virtual promotion of facts, don't always have a glass heart, think that others are targeting you everywhere, and your mentality will be calm.

2. Comparison is also a reasonable and normal phenomenon, in the unit, the society is widespread, and even parents often talk about other people's children?

3. Correctly deal with the comparison between peers, and try to maintain longitudinal comparison and reduce horizontal comparison.

Longitudinal comparison is to compare yourself with the past, encourage yourself with a progressive attitude, and build your confidence. Horizontal comparison, on the other hand, is a mistake of self-doubt in the era of fierce competition.

In addition, these negative comparisons are often caused by strength and circumstances that are not as expected. To completely overcome negative comparisons and negative emotions, it is still necessary to consolidate strength, to put it bluntly, it is to make up for the sense of loss with actions.

4. Listen calmly to the inquiries or discussions of relatives, of course, if relatives are too extreme and snobbish, it is okay to fight back appropriately.

5. Learn to enhance your psychological endurance through autosuggestion.

For example, when you see that others are better than you in a certain aspect, you can silently recite phrases such as "Actually, I'm also good" in your heart, and find your own advantages from your own poor elders, and over time, the habit of blind comparison will improve.

6. Make yourself strong, keep what you are good about, and work hard if you are lacking, isn't there a saying, anything that can't defeat you will only make you stronger.

Human physiology should be more sincere, less comparison is less harmful, stay away from comparison, and deal with comparison tactfully.

A: In such a situation, we may feel that our self-esteem and self-confidence have taken a hit. Therefore, we need to take some measures to deal with this situation of comparison and blowing:

First of all, be aware of the negative emotions of **. Comparisons and blows often stem from a person's dissatisfaction, anxiety and stress. Sometimes, comparisons and blows are a sign that this person uses to hide his inner turmoil.

At this time, we need to try to understand them, give them support and comfort. But at the same time, we must also be careful not to let our emotions and psychology be affected.

Second, we need to adjust our mindset. We tend to feel uncomfortable when we are beaten by comparisons and blows, and this situation requires us to build a psychological defense for ourselves. We should affirm ourselves and understand our own value and potential, so as not to cause long-term negative effects on ourselves by comparing and attacking.

Third, we need to communicate directly with these friends. We should clearly tell them about the negative effects of this behavior and try to establish good communication and interaction. If they can listen, understand, and commit to change, then we should help them further.

If it doesn't solve the problem, we need to think about keeping the situation out of our lives.

Finally, we need to look for people who truly understand and support us. These people should be the ones we encourage each other rather than belittle each other, and with their help, we are better able to cope with negative emotions while living a more positive and sunny life.

Summary: In life, we should be positive about the comparison and blow to us, try to understand the situation and self-affirmation. If necessary, communicate directly with your friends.

Finally, look for people who really support, understand, and encourage us to build a good, positive communication relationship.

1. We must realize that the comparison and belittlement of friends are due to the manifestation of psychological immaturity and low self-esteem. If we feel sad or angry about these blows and belittlements, we give him a psychological advantage. Instead, we should remain calm and think about it from their emotional perspective.

We need to put ourselves in the other person's shoes and imagine why they would do it? This helps us understand the root cause of the problem and prepare for how to deal with it.

2. We need to maintain a sense of self-worth and build a self-identity. In the blows and belittlements of friends from time to time, we need to recognize our own value and strengths, and then correctly recognize and evaluate ourselves. We need to ask ourselves, are these comparisons and belittlements true?

If not, then it's just a sign of immaturity on our friend's own, not our own. If yes, then it is possible to improve yourself in the positive influence.

3. We can speak our feelings and tell them our opinions and emotions. In some cases, friends themselves may not know how much harm they have done to us. Therefore, we should communicate directly with them as soon as possible and tell them how we feel.

We can express our emotions with things like "I feel" and avoid blaming and reducing their words and actions to intentional actions.

4. If comparing and belittling friends has a long-term negative impact, we can consider keeping our distance from them. If this behavior happens frequently, we may not be able to change their attitudes and behaviors, and it may be a better choice to keep a distance from them. Find a more suitable person among your friends and build new relationships to reduce negative influences and gradually return to a healthy, positive attitude towards life.

5. When we are faced with a situation where our friends around us blow and belittle us from time to time, we need to take positive measures to deal with it. We should start by staying calm, understanding our friend's mindset and motivations, and telling them how we feel. At the same time, we can strengthen our self-identity and maintain a sense of self-worth to cope with the negative effects of this behavior and ultimately return to a positive attitude towards life.

For class reunions, it is a thing that deserves to be happy for all of usBecause once we graduate, we will spend less and less time together, and a lot of the time we are busy with our respective work, so when we meet again, we definitely don't compare with each other, but talk about happy things, so that others will not feel pressured.

1. Friendship with each other

Hold a class reunion to enhance the friendship between each other, because friendship is particularly precious, but also very easy to lose, once a long time without contact, the relationship will gradually fade, especially the relationship of friends in general, so occasionally take some time to accompany our friends, maybe it will also help us in the future. Although we don't reach out to our friends to ask for anything from them, sometimes if the other person is capable and we need help urgently, then we should ask a friend for help, and then wait until the friend needs help before we help the friend.

2. Partnerships

In the process of class reunion, it is also the best time for us to choose a partner to work with, because we are all classmates who know the roots, not like strangers outside with low credibility, so we can find a suitable partner through such a form, and then create wealth together with each other, maybe there will be more students to develop with themselves in the future. After all, when we are young, if we say that we have the brains to start a business, then we should try boldly, otherwise it will be a regret in our lives.

The class reunion is also a small social scene, in which there will be all kinds of people, some are doctors, some are clerks, some are retired soldiers, some are full-time mothers, and some are bosses.

Class reunions are now about comparing each other. The class reunion is also to see if other classmates are better than themselves now. I don't think it's necessary to attend class reunions now, because it's very bad to participate in class reunions, and it will also affect my psychology.

Yes, I don't think it's necessary to go to class reunions at all, and after being together is not for the party, but to show off what you have.

No, I think class reunions are to make each other's own relationship better, and to be able to better understand each other's living conditions.

For students, their minds are not fully mature, and sometimes they may have such a mentality, so it is okay not to think too much about this.

I think the comparison between classmates is a very bad phenomenon, and students should learn from each other.

They compare with theirs, do their own things, do their own things well, and don't compare with others.

Students are learning in comparison is a very motivated thing.

Anyway, I used to like to compare myself with others in school, but my family was poor.

The problem of tutoring, the problem of parental education has led to this phenomenon.

You may think that people shouldn't have a desire to compare. Actually, this is not true.

Comparison is a normal psychology of human beings, and almost everyone has the behavior of comparing with others.

Normal comparisons between people are conducive to progress.

However, excessive comparisons and pathological comparisons are unacceptable.

For example, two girls compare, today you buy LV, tomorrow I buy Gucci, the two of them are comparing to show off their wealth and spending money. Even, slapping a swollen face and becoming fat, borrowing money has to be compared with others.

This kind of comparison is an excessive, pathological comparison. This is very bad.

Therefore, there is no need to eliminate normal comparisons, what we want to eliminate is wrong and excessive comparisons.

So, how do we do it?

1. Learn to accept reality and do everything according to your ability.

Some people always think very highly of themselves, feeling that they are pretentious and do not allow others to be better than themselves. In this state of mind, it is inevitable to over-compare yourself with others.

We need to learn to accept reality. You must learn to accept your own strengths and weaknesses, learn to accept that you are an ordinary person, and it is impossible to force others in everything.

We should strive to be motivated, but we should do everything according to our ability.

2. Learn to compare more with yourself and less with others.

Some of my friends like to compare themselves to others in everything. These friends think that they are only good if they are better than others.

Actually, this view is incorrect. Because, a mountain is still higher than a mountain. No one will always be number one.

Therefore, we must compare ourselves less with others and learn to compare ourselves more.

For example, compare yourself today with yourself yesterday, and compare yourself tomorrow with yourself today.

If we are stronger today than yesterday and tomorrow stronger than today, then we are improving. This increases our self-confidence and encourages us to keep working hard.

Comparing oneself with oneself is more valuable, and it is also more enjoyable for oneself.

I hope you can have a good attitude.