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Communication is one of the foundations of maintaining interpersonal relationships, and all aspects of human activity are inseparable from communication. Communication helps us to tide over difficulties, resolve conflicts, express emotions, protect our interests and avoid misunderstandings. The way a person communicates with others often reflects certain traits of their character.
People's attitudes play an important role in communication. Attitude shows whether we are willing to listen to others and how well we understand what we hear. If we learn to communicate properly with others, we have the ability to express what we want to express.
Eyes and posture.
Eye gaze plays an extremely important role in people's communication. Almost all human communication requires eye contact.
When talking, be sure to look directly at the person speaking, maintain eye contact, and do not look elsewhere for long periods of time or wander your mind. Try to get as close to the other person as possible and take a relaxed position, leaning slightly and always facing the speaker. Don't hide your hands, you can move your hands but don't keep moving, and don't put your hands on your face.
Conversations show that we are attentive to what others are saying and that we are interested in what we hear.
Facial expressions Facial expressions such as smiling, nodding, and moving eyebrows can convey a lot of emotional information and play an important role in interpersonal communication. A person's facial expressions tell if they understand what they are hearing. Facial expressions can express surprise, joy, sadness, and agreement or disagreement.
Tone of voice Speak clearly and at a moderate pace, although sometimes a change in speed can make the conversation more interesting. Try to use a firm, confident, consistent, and harmonious tone. To address someone by their first name, one should avoid using pronouns such as you, this, and that.
Changing the volume of speech is usually to emphasize something in the conversation. It should be noted that the lack of variation in volume when speaking may leave the listener feeling bored.
Listening: It is also important to know how to listen to others. Don't interrupt someone and let them express their message or question.
When listening to someone, you can use modal words such as "um", "aha", or you can nod or ask something like "yes?" "Wouldn't it? "And so on to make the conversation more proactive.
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First of all, you prepare what you want to say
so that you and the other party have something to say
Prepare as many topics as you can.
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The main thing is to relax psychologically, don't always take this as a thing, the more you take this matter, sometimes it will tie your hands and feet.
You can start by finding a starting point, such as choosing a hobby that he likes as a starting point for the conversation, and finding something that interests him, if he likes football. You can find out first. Communicating with him again should not be without words.
But if you really don't understand, you don't have to pretend to understand. Then he must be disgusted. You can also talk to him about his business.
Talking about money, I think he must be interested
Participate in more cultural and sports activities, such as playing games together, playing cards together, singing together, etc. In this way, the more entry points you have, the more topics you will naturally have.
This shows that you are not paying too much attention to the outside world or the surroundings. You have to know that whatever material or environment around you can be used as a topic to talk about, in fact, you lack these things, which is why your inner world is speechless. It is recommended that you understand things more, look at the dynamics of friends around you, learn to praise others, pay attention to some changes in others, what you can see and feel, etc., these may need to be done deliberately at the beginning, and a habit will be formed after a long time.
I'll give you an example, for example, if you're a girl and you see another girl, you can say, "You look like you today." What brand of cosmetics is very useful, your shoes are good and beautiful, where to buy, how much ,..
The premise is that it is really recognized that it is good as a topic, don't open which pot is not opened, and exercise yourself regularly, and it will be good naturally.
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Two people have been together for a long time, and it is inevitable that there will be no freshness, which is a normal performance, because it is impossible for two people to have endless topics to talk about, because the process of normal couples falling in love is to talk a lot at the beginning, quarrel but then talk more about some things in life. The process of normal couples falling in love, at the beginning, two people saw some shining points in each other, and then attracted one party to launch an active chase, and the other party felt that this person was not bad, and then chatted with each other, chatted and found that the two people were very suitable, talk about it, and then after falling in love together, it will involve more of each other's past, each other's lives, some habitual things, these will have a hot love period, and after these things are understood, There is a situation where the two of them have nothing to talk about, because the things that the other party can understand are almost understood, and everything that the other party has done since childhood is clear. Two people from the love period gradually to, the bland transformation is all couples will go through, a time to learn to find some topics in life, change the two people can always talk about things, or two people to experience more things, there are more things to talk about, but also to expand their knowledge, the other party likes things to understand, so that your chat can be more pleasant, there is nothing to talk about, The first reason is that you have been together for a long time and have talked about the past, and the second reason is that you have not mastered enough chat skills, and you have not talked more about future problems, because there are infinite possibilities in the future.
Many people can't survive the dull period of love, and feel that they have entered a love mode with nothing to talk about, that is, the nuclear collision emotions of two people have disappeared, not love, in fact, it is not like this, because any couple has to go through such a process, learn to find a topic, learn to transition from romantic love to real life, and spend it, and the emotions will really stabilize during this period.
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What do you do when chatting with strangers when you feel like you have nothing to say? Here's a trick to break the boat.
This trick is the "question icebreaker method", the so-called question icebreaker is when chatting with strangers, you can ask the other party when you feel that you have nothing to say.
Let's take a look at the following story and you'll know what it means.
A few years ago, I was on a business trip with a teacher.
When I was on a business trip, I found that even if this teacher and his new friends met for the first time, there were always endless topics to talk about, as if they were friends who had known each other for a long time.
It makes me curious. Because if I sit with someone I don't know, I probably won't be able to talk for a few words, and the air between the two people in the end is like a balloon about to burst, which is very embarrassing.
Why doesn't this teacher seem to have this problem at all?
After I looked closely, I found that this teacher had a different approach when chatting with others: when they were almost out of talk to each other, the teacher would start asking questions about the Ant Friends Association. He will ask
It turns out that you are an expert in this area, and I just have a question that I can ask you. As a result, as soon as the other party heard that it was a topic that he was very familiar with, he naturally opened the conversation.
I suddenly realized that this trick is too clever - by asking the other party what he is good at, on the one hand, he invited the other party to the problems he cares about, so that the other party has a sense of accomplishment; On the other hand, it also allows the topic of the two to continue, laying the groundwork for finding a new topic, which is really a strategy to kill two birds with one stone.
I learned a trick from the way this teacher handled the problem: When talking to strangers, you can ask them questions when you feel that you have nothing to say – and then we have a new empirical skill thinking model, which let's call it "Question Breaking Ice".
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Source: This problem is not only yours, but many people have this phenomenon.
First of all, we must find out who we are talking to, and then the next step is to talk about the content of the conversation.
If it's just a meeting and saying hello, that's fine.
If it's for a friend, the conversation isn't limited to topics.
If you're targeting customers, then you need to be prepared.
In any case, one thing is very important, that is, it is "miscellaneous", that is, you have a wide range of knowledge, and you need to know a little bit of everything, not that you are very professional, but at least you know more, it is easy to find an entry point for dialogue with others.
Now that the Internet is so developed, you don't need to buy books to read, browse more pages, the range is a little wider, and over time, you will have a harvest, good luck!
First of all, about speaking, there is nothing to say, it is not a matter of mouth, it is a question of the topic. With a common topic, people who are not eloquent will naturally be able to talk endlessly. Without a topic of common interests and hobbies, no matter how eloquent a person is, he can't say half a sentence.
Secondly, when it comes to making friends, pay attention to not who can talk, but who will have true friends. What kind of people have true friends? Here's how:
Sacrifice a little bit of your own interests every day, do a little help for others for free, and persist in doing it for two weeks, and you will find that your interpersonal relationships will improve greatly!
Finally, about personality, the survey found that there are nine layers of great scientists and artists who are not good at talking, introverted, of course, hosts, civil servants are extroverted people, personality determines fate, whether introverted or extroverted, you can have the opportunity to become an enviable success!!
I thought it myself:
Now this society not only needs high-quality students, now anyone can read books well, the most important thing is to learn how to get along with others, you say that you have nothing to say to others, but you know a lot, then you first have to know what kind of personality you are talking to, what preferences you have (in fact, this is not difficult, just pay attention to it), and then you find some topics to talk to him. Secondly, you said that you are relatively quiet and like to go to museums, but you also have to exercise more and develop yourself in an all-round way, and it is useless for you to know a lot of knowledge. And you said that you feel estranged from others, that is the problem in your heart, you try to treat others as your relatives, don't be cautious of others.
It's going to be a lot better. Hey!
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Advice: Don't talk endlessly about things that you are interested in, and you don't even talk about things that you are not interested in or don't understand, so that your friends have nothing to say to you, not that you have nothing to say to your friends.
I also had the same problem, but I solved it:
1.You should be clear about the things and topics that your friends care about, don't be too self-conscious, and put aside your own interests and hobbies first.
2.I tried it once, and I told my friend: why are we talking no more? He laughed a lot, and so did I.
3.People see something new every day, for example: I saw a crash this morning. I want a haircut, do you get a haircut? What to eat at noon? How about you please do me a favor and scratch my back?
4.Use more questions, ask friends about their hobbies and interests, listen to yourself, and learn.
5.Make some inexplicable and unreasonable jokes when you are embarrassed. For example: I saw Zhang Sanfeng in the car today, really. (If he doesn't believe him, bet with him).
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Three universal topics teach you to break the embarrassment.
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It should be caused by being too introverted and lacking communication with people.
In addition, life is very monotonous, there is no color, and there is no feeling for things is also an important reason for poor interpersonal relationships.
It is recommended that you cultivate more hobbies, contact more with the outside world, and deal with people more, not to talk to people all at once, that is unrealistic and impossible, first of all, you should take the initiative to deal with people, speak boldly, and slowly you will find that dealing with people is not a difficult thing.
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Accept, change, leave; If you can't accept it, then change; If you can't change it, then leave.
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If it's someone you like, communication is important.
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Let's do something together! There is something to say.
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Find a topic, or a topic that the other person is interested in.
It's better to give each other a cool-off period, don't rush to say that you broke up, it may just be a lull period, this is an important turning point, if you can get through this period, the relationship will sublimate.
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