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In our previous generation of Chinese families, many of the feelings between husband and wife are not good, resulting in insufficient care for both parties in family life, when the child appears, the wife will transfer the love that originally belonged to the husband to the son, and treat the son as a "lover".
The more she invests in her son, the more reluctant she is to lose, but her son will eventually grow up and get married, at this time, the daughter-in-law, that is, you, as a sudden intruder, are a predator for her, robbing her of the intimate relationship she has worked hard to establish with her son, and the reason for her complaint to you is nothing more than helplessness to lose, understand this, you should be able to understand your mother-in-law better, she actually looks a little pitiful.
For a normal marriage and family, the relationship between husband and wife should be the first, and the relationship with parents and children is second, only when there is a normal relationship between husband and wife, other relationships will not be distorted and disordered, a healthy relationship between husband and wife, the impact on children is huge, I think you should examine whether your focus is on both husband and wife, not on children, from this aspect, your mother-in-law may be reasonable.
In today's society, the expression of personal value is advocated, and your current excessive discipline will suppress the release of the child's nature, which is not conducive to his competition in society in the future, because knowledge can be supplemented the day after tomorrow, and it is difficult to change once the character is formed.
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A loving mother has many defeats, and it doesn't hurt to be harsh. In this way, the child's ability to bear will increase, and when he enters the society, his ability to bear will be strengthened, or no one can bear it
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As long as the son is not harmed, it will be fine, and don't be too accustomed to raising the son, it will be more difficult to manage in the future.
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The contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has always been one of the main problems of family disharmony, and there will be great differences in values between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law due to the different years and environment of growth. So today, let's talk about what the mother-in-law should do if she always says bad things about herself to her children?
1.Enhance communication.
As daughters-in-law, we do not advocate directly facing and scolding mothers-in-law and solving problems in a civilized manner. In the third case, tell your mother-in-law directly, and the reasonable person will change. In the second case, a "high hat" measure can be applied.
Tell the baby that grandma loves him and that he needs to love grandma. Affirm your mother-in-law's love for your baby, thank her for her contribution to your baby, and tell her that her baby loves her too. Give her more compliments and compliments to satisfy her idea of "having the most important place in her grandson's heart".
In the first case, it is appropriate to show weakness and adopt roundabout tactics.
2.Take advantage of the community of interests.
The mother-in-law will target her daughter-in-law, because the daughter-in-law is an outsider and will not feel distressed. But unlike his grandson, his son is his own person and cannot be bullied. The first community of interests is the son (husband), do his own job well, let him make it clear that "saying that his mother is not good in front of his children" cannot be done, and no one can do it.
First, explain clearly the serious consequences that could arise, and secondly, clarify your attitude - you cannot accept him doing this. It is better to treat him in the same way, sympathize with him, and then refuse to do so from the heart, so that he can convince his mother. The second community of interests is the grandson (son).
Put the disadvantages of saying bad things about the mother to the child directly in front of the mother-in-law, and make it clear that "the child suffers the most from saying bad things about the mother", be rational and emotional.
3.Don't let your child stand in line.
Don't force your child to stay close to themselves and away from others. Both grandma and mom are a special existence for children, and the blood relationship is indelible. No matter which side you choose, you will hurt both the person you love and the child, not to mention the way you hurt the other person by teaching the child to say something.
In fact, the most correct way should be, since we all love children, why can't we reconcile for the sake of children? It's not that there is a vendetta. Sit down together, talk calmly, and clear up misunderstandings.
This will not only promote family harmony but also provide a healthy environment for children to grow up. Why not?
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In the process of family life, if the mother-in-law does this, it means that she is a person who sow discord, at this time you try to take care of the children by yourself, and do not let the mother-in-law touch the children too much.
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You can tell your children not to listen to their mother-in-law, and also communicate with her mother-in-law in a timely manner, so that family conflicts can be avoided.
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I should have a good talk with my mother-in-law alone, move out of my mother-in-law's life, try not to interact with each other, talk to my husband, and let my husband come forward to solve it.
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Summary. Hello dear <>
We're happy to answer your <>
My mother-in-law said bad things about me to his son, and I should do the following:1First of all, my mother-in-law said bad things about me to my husband, and first reflected on myself to see what was wrong with me.
2.Secondly, if you are a particularly perfect person, let your husband understand you and let him mediate. The husband acts as a middleman.
3.Finally, I should get along with my mother-in-law, take the initiative to explain my attitude, and hope to live in peace.
My mother-in-law told his son that I was speaking ill of me, what should I do.
Hello dear <>
We're happy to answer your <>
My mother-in-law told his son that I should do the following: 1First of all, my mother-in-law said bad things about me to her husband, so I reflected on myself first and saw what was wrong with pretending to be annihilated.
2.Secondly, if you are a particularly perfect person, you must let your husband understand you, and let your husband come forward to mediate. The husband acts as a middleman.
3.Finally, I should get along with my mother-in-law, take the initiative to explain my attitude, and hope to live in peace.
Kiss <>
Give your Tuoxiang spine rotten exhibition such as missing <>
The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is a relatively awkward relationship. Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are neither blood relatives nor lovers, but they must get along like close relatives, and they must grasp a degree from far and near. To grasp this relationship, you need the wisdom of your husband, the wise handling mechanism of your daughter-in-law, and the quality and pattern of your mother-in-law herself.
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If your mother-in-law is saying bad things about your family to your husband behind her back, it is indeed a bad behavior. This behavior can damage family relationships and lead to a rift in the relationship. But at this point, you need to deal with it calmly, including the specific methods as follows:
1.Communicate with your mother-in-law: It's a good idea to start by communicating openly and honestly with your mother-in-law, expressing your feelings and asking why. It won't help to give her a chance to solve the problem and not get too excited or argue.
2.Talk to your husband: Communicate your views and feelings to your husband and explain your family's position and the department's perspective. Never provoke quarrels, don't hurt each other's feelings, and talk on the basis of equality and respect.
3.Family counseling: If you can't deal with this problem, you can seek the help of a family counselor or professional counselor to solve the problem and find a better direction for the family relationship. Bridge erection.
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My mother-in-law always speaks ill of her son, what should I do.
Hello, I'm glad to answer for you, mother-in-law said bad things about her son, as a direct relationship, there is no parent who doesn't love their son or daughter. After all, it was the flesh that fell from her own body, and she said bad things about her son, and it is possible that she was motivating her son in reverse in this way. On the other hand, it shows that her expectations for her son do not meet the requirements.
On your side, you must encourage him, if people are in an environment of accusation and no encouragement, the pressure will be particularly great, there is no motivation to do things, it is easy to be depressed or even extreme, and lose the meaning of life in the socks. On your side, you must encourage and guide you. As long as people live, anything can be solved.
I hope mine can help you and good luck! The sail is as exciting as a sedan chair to solve your questions, and it is convenient to give a thumbs up
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1. Reasons for the formation of the concept of wife serving the elderly:
Family background and cultural differences: Wives and mothers-in-law may come from different family backgrounds and cultural environments, which leads to different perceptions and expectations when it comes to child rearing. The wife may feel that her mother-in-law is trying to interfere with her decision-making power in relation to the education of her children, causing her to feel violated.
Tension in the mother-in-law relationship: Past conflicts and misunderstandings can lead to tension between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and this tension may affect the wife's negative interpretation of the mother-in-law's behavior in relation to child rearing.
Maternal Affection's Sense of Competition: The wife may fear that her mother-in-law will take her place in the child's heart, because of the special nature of maternal love and the unique emotional connection to the child. This sense of competition can lead the wife to over-interpret her mother-in-law's behavior, which can lead to misunderstandings.
Second, the method of communication and solution:
Listen and understand: A husband should listen to his wife's feelings and concerns and respect her point of view. Through active listening, husbands are able to better understand their wives' feelings and build trust and understanding with each other.
Husband needs to communicate clearly with his wife and mother-in-law to clarify their expectations and responsibilities. Couples should work together to make plans for the child's upbringing, clarify their roles and responsibilities, and ensure that both parties are on the same page about decisions about their child's education.
Introduction of media roles: If couples have difficulties communicating with each other, consider seeking help from a marriage counselor or family counselor. A professional intermediary role can help both parties better communicate and understand each other's perspectives, and provide solutions and suggestions for solving problems.
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