For the urging of the elders to marry, how to go back elegantly?

The fortune teller said that I was suitable for late marriage, early marriage, and easy divorce. It takes a little later to get married to find true love.

For the elders' urging to marry, I will tell them my life plan, and I don't need them to worry about it if I have my own ideas.

I think that for the urging of the elders to marry, I can say to them: It's all because you gave birth to me so well that I can't find a partner now.

Prepare one or two sets of ** in advance, don't be known by the elders, no matter who asks, just say that they have a boyfriend, if they want to see **, take it out and show it to them, they ask when they will get married, they say they are looking at the house, and the down payment is still hundreds of thousands.

For the urging of the elders to marry, the elegant scolding back is to tell them that there is no need to worry about me, I have found a suitable girl.

If the family urges me to get married, you can say that I haven't found my true love yet, and I'm waiting for me for a year or two, so I think it's acceptable to my parents, and it's not rude.

It's that I'll tell them that I have a boyfriend, but I'm on the rise of a career right now, and then I won't get married so early, and you can pay more attention to other people, don't pay attention to me.

Every time my dad says I'm going to be 30 years old, and there aren't many single men in my 30s, I will say why should I look for a 30-year-old I can't look for a 20-year-old.

You can say that when you get married for the second time, I will get married, and I see that your married life is not very happy, so I still won't get married.

For the elders who urge the marriage to go back elegantly, it means that I want to become a better version of myself.

As for the matter of urging marriage, I will tell the elders directly, I am busy with work, so I will use work to block it. Either it's about getting married, it depends on fate, isn't this fate yet here, so I haven't met the right person yet. If the elders are urging too hard, they should be serious, saying that they are also in contact with people at this stage, but they have to take their time.

1.Tell your relatives about your plans directly and clearly

When you meet relatives in your family who have been urging you to get married, you can calmly tell your elders about your current arrangements. Because the people in the family, their ideological concepts may be more traditional, as long as you have not completed the marriage at the right age, they will change the way to urge marriage. In the face of this situation, if you have your own life plan, you can say what you think and let them know that you have your plans.

After all, marriage is the most unhurried, and the more anxious you are, the easier it is to make mistakes. As long as you have a firm attitude and know what you want to do next, then go ahead and do it at your own pace.

2.Be honest about your current living situation and reassure your elders

The elders urge marriage to be nothing more than a kind of care, but this kind of care sometimes invisibly makes you feel pressured. If the elders bring up this topic, you always avoid it, but it will make them more anxious. Then, you will fall into a cycle of refusal to talk and their constant urging.

At this time, the most appropriate way is for you to talk to your elders about your relationship status. For example, at present, you have contact with a new person of the opposite sex, but because the contact time is short, it is not enough to talk about marriage.

Or if you don't have any plans to fall in love at the moment, you can also tell your elders in a soothing tone that I have received everyone's concern, but at the moment, I have other important things to do, so I haven't talked about it. However, if there is, I will tell you.

3.The more you are urged to marry, the more you can't panic

Since the relatives are kind enough to urge the marriage, then you can just look at the problem calmly, and when everyone asks, you can talk to the relatives calmly. After all, when you reach age, it is inevitable to encounter the situation of being urged to marry by your elders. The most important thing is to see how you deal with it, talk directly to the elders, and let the elders know that you can listen to what they say, but due to objective reasons, you haven't met it for a while, so it's nothing.

You can also jokingly say, "Oh, I want to get married as soon as possible, but this is not something that I can achieve by unilateral efforts, isn't that the right person hasn't appeared yet?"

Therefore, in the face of urging marriage, first of all, you must have a stable mentality; Adopt a roundabout strategy to talk to the elders, it seems that the elders are urging marriage, but they are also concerned about your life events.

Facing the urging of elders to get married:

1. Insist on yourself, but don't resist marriage

For the urging of the elders, there is no need for us to beat them to death with a stick and resist marriage. To have a stable mentality, you should first think about what kind of life you want, what kind of career you choose, what kind of partner you choose, and listen to your heart. In fact, the disagreement between us and our parents' generation on the issue of marriage is mainly the point of time.

Parents feel that they are old but do not get married, so they start to worry. But maybe it's not the right time for you.

2. Help parents develop hobbies

A large reason why parents and elders are overly concerned about their children's marriage and love is that they have been focusing on their children for a long time. We can use compensatory transfer methods, for example, we can help parents try to explore several hobbies, effectively divert the attention of the elders, and create more space for ourselves to deal with personal emotions or married life independently.

3. Reasonable empathy law

When your parents urge you to go on a blind date or find a partner, you don't have to explain too much reason or try to persuade them, and a good way to communicate is to empathize with your parents. Empathy is not the same as reasoning, but rather empathizing with the feelings and emotions of others.

For example, we can respond to our parents' urging to get married like this: "Mom, I understand that you are in a hurry, but it is really difficult to find a partner if you are ugly." "I understand your feelings, I'm as anxious as you, but I don't have a car or a house, so it's useless to be anxious......."”

Fourth, to be financially independent

The reason why we have conflicts and conflicts with our parents is because we have not lived their lives, and we have not lived the same life as them. What we think should not be the right thing to do now was taken for granted in their time.

So we can't ask them to be exactly like us, and when we have conflicts with them, we should use more gentle communication rather than excessive expression.

Respect their ideas and don't quarrel with their elders.

Maybe the urging of the elders will be annoying, but we still have to try to control our emotions and not rush to quarrel with them.

First of all, we want to regain our freedom and rights, but we don't want to become enemies with our loved ones.

More importantly, a soft attitude is more conducive to both parties to calm down and communicate slowly, so as to achieve better results.

Throwing a tantrum and slamming the door, or posing as a shrew and tearing their faces, is not a wise way to respond.

Of course, respecting the other person's ideas does not mean that we should agree with the other person's point of view.

Prove yourself with real actions.

The urgency of urging you to marry is directly proportional to how bad your current life is.

Therefore, what we need to do is not only to get rid of that hanging appearance in front of our parents, but also to be their "teacher".

Let your parents often find that "your skills are not as good as you", and feel that you have really become an adult who is in charge of your own affairs, and they don't need to worry about it.

If you can't even break free from the image of a "child", then how can you get your parents to respect your individuality?

Don't think of "single beggars" as "single aristocrats", because there is still a gap between tens of thousands of worries and thousands of elegant calm.

So please regularize your routine, live a delicate and not sloppy life, and at least don't let your parents worry about whether you eat or not.

In addition, you can usually start with new things to win the respect and even admiration of your parents.

1. If I have to make do, when I reach the age of 30, do you want me to be married or divorced?

2. I like good men (good women) like my dad (my mom), if you know a guy (little girl) who is better than my dad (my mom) and then introduce it to me!

3. I don't need to be held in the palm of my hand by others, I have made myself popular.

4. If you get married like this, love can't be cultivated, and sooner or later something will go wrong, because it's too tiring to live with people who don't have a deep emotional foundation and inconsistent thinking pace.

5, rich and handsome, must have a girlfriend; The big boss must be attentive; Workaholic, apparently disregarding home.

6. I already have a boyfriend (or girl), but he hasn't divorced yet. (Usually at this time, I will persuade you to break up, and then you will be able to settle down for some days).

7. I found a girlfriend, but she is still studying, and she is too young.

8. There are too few boys (girls) who are reliable now, you see, I heard that my cousin (cousin) broke another one.

9. There are several people chasing me, all of them are very good, it's really hard to choose!

10. In these years, who doesn't have a few spare tires!

2. Ways to respond to marriage urging.

1. Take the initiative to explain the situation.

Before your parents or relatives urge you to get married, take the initiative to explain your situation, report your study and work for a year carefully and in detail, and then inform you that you are already on a blind date or have plans to get married, so as to directly avoid the other party urging you to get married.

2. With the help of prop instructions.

The ring will be a good prop, so you can prepare a ring in advance to wear, when the elders urge marriage, you can say that there are already lovers, and this is a couple ring.

3. Change the subject.

When faced with marriage urging, immediately pull the topic to popular TV series, square dancing and homely shorts, and you must not go back to yourself.

4. Ask others first.

Before relatives ask questions, preemptively counter customers. Before asking a question, ask: Is your daughter talking about friends?

Married? Have you prepared a wedding room for your child? Have you got a new car?

When he faces this series of questions, he can feel your feelings, and he can avoid urging him to get married.

When young people nowadays face the urging of their elders to get married, they should play Tai Chi, hide if they can, and try not to confront them head-on. Because the current elders are really terrible, if you say something that makes them unhappy, then there may be a lot of things that will scare you. And because they are your elders, you can't say too heavy words, it's really a belly of anger, so many people choose to hide if they can, can't be provoked, and can afford to hide.

In fact, to be honest, there are many old people who really like to interfere in other people's affairs. In this life, I think it's enough to be able to take care of my own affairs, and there is no need to worry about other people's affairs, because it has nothing to do with you. Everyone doesn't get married, naturally there are their own reasons, maybe it's because they haven't met the right one, or it may be because they want to play for a few more years.

But in the eyes of some elders, it may be a heinous thing.

If you reach the right age and don't choose to get married, they will think that you can't get married, or they can't find a suitable match. I like gossip, and what I say is very ugly. There are some people who may genuinely care about you, but there may be some people who are really just there to see the jokes.

Anyway, under normal circumstances, I just avoid those people in the house. Don't give them any chance to attack me, and don't give them a chance to speak, because that's the only way they won't break in my ears.

Some people may really care about me, but I really don't have the idea of getting married now, I think it's good to be alone, why do I have to care about other people's thoughts? Maybe when I'm older, I naturally want to find someone to marry, but it's really not the right time, so I'm very disgusted that someone is urging me. I can't offend them, I can't say anything serious to them, so the only thing I can do is stay away from them.

If we want to respond to the elder's urging to marry elegantly and politely, we should see the trick first: think about the elder's motivation for starting these awkward conversations. Starting point 1:

I don't know what else I can talk to you about", the focus of the response: divert the topic and take the initiative to bring up some other topics. Auntie:

It's been a long time, I haven't heard from you for a year, have you been punished? It's so big, you have to hurry up! "Response method one:

Divert the topic: "Auntie, I haven't seen you for a year, are you okay?" Travelling this year?

Response method 2: Try to understand the other person's life: "Auntie, are you and your uncle-in-law okay?"

I haven't seen you for a year, tell me about your life this year. How is my uncle's job, and when will I retire? How do you organize your life now that you're retired?

I heard that you have to take care of your in-laws, it's very hard, right? What do you need to do......Point 2: "I'm saying this for your own good!"

Key points of response: Say thank you to the other person, I know you are for my good, and I am fine now. Second aunt:

Girls are no better than boys, you are already older now, and if you don't get married, you will have to suffer when you have children in the future. While your parents are still young, they can still help you bring them, and your mother can also help you with confinement. In a few years, they don't know how their bodies will be, and you should also take marriage to heart if you think about it!

Response method 1: Let the other person know that you have received their hard work. "Second aunt, I know that you persuaded me to get married quickly for my own good, I understand, don't worry.

Response 2: Thank the other person for their kindness, tell them about their current life situation, or what is really helpful to you. "Second aunt, I know that you persuaded me for my own good, thank you for your concern.

I have my own considerations, I have my own views on marriage, and I'm happy with my current life. Starting point three: "Oops!

Don't you notice that I'm very good at that? Ask for attention! "Response Focus:

Clearly expressed that he saw the other party's excellence, and the rainbow fart snapped. Cousin: "You have been working in xx city for several years, how is your career developing?"

Your brother got a very good job in our local area after graduating from college last year, who has a higher income compared to your brother? "The ultimate way to respond: Don't be stingy with your compliments, give the other person a microphone and let them sing the C position.

Cousin, I heard my mother say that my younger brother was very talented and won the first place in the civil service exam. With such a promising son, you and your aunt must be very proud. ”