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At this stage, we are in a stage of self-cognitive formation, that is, the individual's awareness of himself and his life goals, which is the identity in psychology. They need to clarify their personal values, goals, development direction and meaning of life, so as to gain internal motivation for growth.
For example, there is often a very big gap between the outlook on life and values instilled in you by parents and schools and what you receive in life, which will affect the formation of adolescent identity, and you need to make choices about your career, values, interpersonal relationships, etc. from countless possibilities. Therefore, adolescent children will have various problems such as rebellion, confrontation and management.
Therefore, the most important thing to treat adolescent children is respect and equality, they already have their own idea of being an adult, and they also have their own outlook on life and values, although most of the views are naïve and ridiculous, but we must first respect, but respect is not to indulge, I know many parents are still used to adolescent children with a sense of superiority to reprimand their children, even if you are right, children will not listen, and finally parents will tell me that they have done their best, Everything is done, but the child just doesn't obey and so on and so forth. Then I don't care, and I can't talk to my child a few times a week.
It's hard to explain this question in one or two sentences, so let's send a private message for the specific question.
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Adolescence is a rebellious period, and you can't be cruel to them, and you can't spoil them.
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You should communicate with your child more.
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You should communicate with your child with the mentality of a friend, so that you can solve their emotional problems in adolescence.
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I think that as parents, if we want to deal with the emotional problems of our adolescent children more correctly, we should actively communicate with them and not get too angry.
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As parents, we must let our children know that it is normal to have emotional problems during adolescence, but we must let go of this beautiful relationship and put more time and energy into learning.
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A lot of parents are busy, but no matter how busy they are, they should spend time with their children. Only by understanding children in many ways can they eliminate misunderstandings with them and live in harmony with them. Raising children is sometimes based on past experiences, but sometimes it doesn't fit into the present, so the way children are raised should also be improved with the advice of the times.
Adults and children alike want to have a listener by their side. When a child has a problem, if parents use listening instead of scolding, they will find a better way to solve the problem.
If the child does not listen to his parents and is unwilling to admit his or her wrong behavior, let the child experience the consequences of his actions on the premise of ensuring safety. If parents come across something about their child, discuss it with the child and ask for their opinion. If they have different opinions, they will consult with each other and the effect will be better.
When parents are angry, they only allow their children to admit mistakes and praise for a while. All children can think of is how to make their parents less angry. It can be difficult to ensure that children can continue to follow what their parents say after they have vented their anger.
Respect children and encourage education. Treat children as adults, give them back the right to speak, and empower them to choose and make decisions. There are important things in the family that require the children to be involved in discussions and decision-making.
Affirm your child's strengths and achievements in a timely manner, and encourage them more and criticize less when they encounter difficulties and setbacks. Change the fixed way of thinking. Try to understand children from the perspective of today's times.
Parents can reserve their views on certain phenomena and ideas, but they do not necessarily steadfastly oppose them in order to make their children obey.
Parents should have a strong sense of self-discipline. Let the children set an example first. Otherwise, it will cause extreme disgust and even strong resistance among the children.
Students are encouraged to actively engage with and understand the society. Establish a correct outlook on life and values, abandon low-grade tastes, and cultivate elegant tastes. At the same time, cultivate a sense of competition and firm will, learn to communicate with others, experience successes and setbacks, and cultivate psychological endurance.
Gradually grow from setbacks and difficulties, and form a positive and enterprising attitude towards life.
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Parents should set a good example for their children, usually encourage their children not to beat and scold their children excessively, actively cultivate some of their children's interests and hobbies, do not be harsh on their children, understand some of their inner thoughts, and respect some of their children's ideas.
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Parents should never insult their children, give them enough personal space, and pay more attention to their children's learning.
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How do parents communicate with their teenage children? Adolescence is a hindrance for every child. Children in this period have poor self-control, stubbornness, and lack of motivation to learn.
They often quarrel with their parents. As a parent, you must first understand your child's mind, start from caring about your child's life and learning, approach your child by making friends, and treat your child with a gentle attitude. They should also be good at discovering children's strengths, giving timely encouragement and support to children's strengths and strengths, praising good ones, making children feel warm, and letting children have enthusiasm and motivation to learn, and they are willing to cooperate with you.
To you. How do parents communicate with their teenage children?
1. Parents should have a correct mentality, do not think that they are superior, and treat their children as children who have not grown up. They should let go of their parents' values, treat their children equally, speak, and treat their children as friends. It is easy to communicate with the child, who will tell the parents what they want.
If your child does something wrong, don't criticize him too much. Use a persuasive tone to convince your child to understand the seriousness of the mistake. Children will accept their parents' advice and correct their mistakes.
2. Do not use force to beat and scold children. The more you beat, the more you scold, the farther away you are from your parents. He doesn't understand that your strict demands on him are out of concern and love for him.
Just blindly blaming the parents. The more you beat and scold him, the farther away he is from you, the stranger he becomes, the more antagonistic he becomes, the less attentive he becomes, and even skips school.
3. Actively provide a good environment for children. Otherwise, they want to impose their own views on society and life experiences on their children. If so, it can easily lead to rebellion in children.
Adolescent children have their own destiny. Parents should respect their children's choices and do not interfere with their children's decisions and cause their children to rebel. Rebellious, against children.
4.Communicating with adolescent children, parents must have a little art to communicate effectively with their children. Provide a good atmosphere for children to go through adolescence, establish good family relationships, and provide a good atmosphere.
5. Be empathetic. As parents, many things feel that what children say is unreasonable, but in fact, we should think differently. Why do children say these things.
Some things don't make sense, but why do they say that? Is it because the child doesn't understand it? Or did the child say it on purpose?
Or how about it. Therefore, communication with children must be empathetic. Understand and respect the child.
6.Give your child the right to choose. When we want our children to do something, our grandchildren can't just give them one way, but give them multiple ways.
For example, if your child wants to eat and you don't want to give your child too many snacks, you can say, "It's okay to eat snacks, but eating too many snacks is not good for your health, so I have three choices, you can choose one of them to buy, you can buy whatever you like, but it can only be the same." With such an exchange, the child will know that the parents actually do not want to buy snacks, but, in order to respect the child, give her the right to choose. Children will choose the same thing.
In this way, it not only realizes the purchase of less, but also realizes the autonomy of the child.
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Many parents like to nag their children, and if the child does not listen to one thing, they will start to say it non-stop, and if the child resists, they will even scold the child loudly, and finally let the child be "obedient" if he is reluctant. Is it because the child is disobedient, or is there another reason? Chattering is a way of communication that is too much to disturb or late, and many children hope that their mothers will not be too nagging.
Parents can make an agreement with their children in advance, such as allocating the time for getting up, eating, doing homework, resting, and entertaining, so that not only does the child have time to ease the concept, but also saves the parents from worrying too much.
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Parents should learn to empathize, think more from the child's point of view, don't blame the child when they come up, and communicate more with the child.
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Don't think too radically from the child's point of view, and pay attention to communication with the child in life.
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Parents are the most important teachers in a child's life. From the moment the child is born, parents accompany the child and teach him, hoping that the child will grow up to be excellent. Suffice it to say, the education of parents affects a child's life.
Especially after a child enters puberty, there will be physical and psychological changes. What should parents do when faced with the problems of their adolescent children?
First, encourage your child to be independent
Because children search for their own identity during adolescence, children are constantly experimenting with various behaviors that encourage children to make appropriate attempts to make themselves independent. Do not forcibly interfere with your child, as forced interference will often make him unable to do it again, which will lead to an embarrassing situation in which the child wants to watch. Clarify the relationship between the interests and the clan, and let him choose for himself.
Second, grow with your children and set an example for them
Today, in the age of the Internet, children can know the things of the world without going out, but my parents often "can't keep up with the times" and still educate their children in the old-fashioned way, which cannot communicate with today's children on an equal footing. To keep up with the times, as parents, we must read more and constantly improve ourselves. In the future, if our children want to be part of the force that promotes the progress of society, we must lead by example, read with our children, make progress together, and strive to be role models for our children.
Third, instill in your children the right values
Adolescent children are still young and have not experienced the hardships of society, so instead of reading books without nutrition and establishing wrong values, it is better to read the autobiographies of celebrities and establish correct values. Respect children's choices: Children have their own favorite things, **, art, etc.
Respect the child's choice, whether the child really likes it, and if he likes it, he must support the child's choice. In this way, you can get closer to your child. Don't deliberately impose on your child what they don't like.
It is said that many parents have supported countless cram schools in order to make their children better, and they are busier than school during the holidays, and they are known for the good of their children. Of course, it is certain that parents are good for their children, but the method must be used correctly.
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To strengthen guidance, don't get angry with the child, don't worry about the child, understand the child's emotions, understand the child's state of lead, and properly relieve the child's pressure. Thank you for your attention.
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Parents should talk to their children about it, and in fact, they should also use storytelling to let their children understand more about the rental, so that they can have a better growth and be better for their children.
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Parents should communicate more with their children, understand their children's thoughts, and be sure to relieve their children's inner anxiety and reduce their stress.
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When educating children at this stage, parents must pay attention to the following:
01丨Don't use violence.
Many parents always accuse their children of being grumpy, but in fact, many parents will also show their irritable side when they are in an emotionally uncontrolled environment, and their children's irritability is likely to come from their usual exposure to it.
Everyone should be clear that "filial piety comes out from under the stick" is a very undesirable sentence.
Parents do have to set up some punishment mechanisms in front of their children, but this does not mean that they should be whipped violently.
In our lives, there is a large part of parents who choose to follow their children and pamper their children when faced with their children's irritability, thinking that this will calm their children's noise.
It is true that when you agree to your child's request, you can temporarily stop crying, but this method treats the symptoms rather than the root cause.
What if the child still loses his temper next time, is the same as the parent?
If the things that the children want are getting more and more expensive, and the children's demands are becoming more and more excessive, then should the parents agree to them one by one?
Parents should not use violence, and at the same time they should not be too weak.
Parents should express their tough stance in a gentle tone: Mom and Dad respect your choice and will not dictate your life, but you must also have a basic bottom line, and you must do what you must do well.
03丨Don't have a cold war with your child.
In many cases, the indifference of parents does not have the effect of calming the child, but makes the child feel their "cold violence".
Many parents will feel that their children will not listen to what others say when they are rebellious, so it is best not to say too much to avoid making the child more angry.
There are also young parents who will have this thought in their hearts: You are my child, what right do you have to be angry? Then I won't talk to you either, and see which of us needs whom.
Rebellious children, like a hedgehog, will use their sharp thorns to protect themselves. But at this time, if parents are afraid of trouble and choose to have a cold war with their children, it is definitely not the best way to solve the problem.
Josie Shipp once said: Your children need you more than they seem.
Children who are about to enter adolescence will have a lot of confusion and confusion, at this time they are actually very much in need of the help of their parents, and the experience of parents can help children walk more smoothly and smoothly on this road.
Article**7 Different children have different personalities, and parents must choose the right way for their children when educating their children.
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