Language experts are coming! Essay Review .

A question was actually asked 2 times.,Hey。。。

I'll revise it:

The Olympic Games are very important in the hearts of each of us, it is not only a world sports competition, but also a kind of eternal belief, which means that the Olympic flame will never change, that is a kind of eternity.

I, an ordinary person, although I can't win a gold medal for the motherland and add glory to the five rings, I also have to contribute to the Olympics. In order to create a "humanistic Olympics, green Olympics, science and technology Olympics" to do their part.

From the first moment I entered 2008, I was determined to contribute to the creation of a "humanistic Olympics, a green Olympics, and a science and technology Olympics".

For the Olympics, they strive to make extraordinary achievements in their ordinary positions; For the Olympics, they shouted the slogan of "building a northern water city and building a harmonious Olympics". Work in slurry. They are building day and night for the Olympics.

They are the laborers, our laborers in Qinzhou, they are my relatives, and they are a new group of Olympic volunteers.

The Chinese, the descendants of the dragon, are also contributing to the Olympics. From the moment Xu Haifeng achieved a breakthrough of zero, he began to contribute to the Olympics. For the sake of the Olympics, they did not hesitate to dedicate their youth and blood and sweat.

For the sake of the Olympics, they did not hesitate to be injured again and again, and shed tears again and again. For the sake of the Olympics, even if they live in isolation, they have no complaints. They are athletes, the pride of the motherland, and the descendants of the dragon.

When the gold medal is hung high on the chest, when the national flag is rising, this is the proudest moment of the motherland, and it is the moment to add brilliance to the Olympic rings!

For your article Reviews.

It's all discussions, no one thing is narrated, empty words, nothing is there to explain this discussion point, the sentences are obviously repetitive, not smooth, such as the descendants of the dragon, repeated several times. This quote upstairs makes it clear that your content has nothing to do with the central idea of the title:

It is also a kind of never-ending belief, which means that the Olympic flame will never change, repeating that since then, I can't get along with the "small advertisement", and the small shovel is my magic weapon to deal with the "small advertisement"; From that day on, I had a grudge against the "art" on the wall, and white paint and small brushes became my sure moves; The metaphor is good, but it is inappropriate and false.

I grew up eating Qinzhou rice, and the people who eat Qinzhou rice are also contributing to the Olympics. It may be deleted if it is not relevant to the following.

Or take a look at the article I corrected (cut out the part of your article that you don't want), and add something else yourself.

The main idea is good, the content is too dull, there is no novelty, and the writing is a bit fake.

1. How often do some examples, don't shout empty slogans.

2. Selection history.

3. Refining nature.

4. Echo from beginning to end.

5. Comparison and analogy.

6. Condense the language, don't be verbose.

I'm a high school student, but for a sixth grader, it's pretty good. The biggest thing is to contact the reality, thank you.

Very good! It's just not interesting! It's so contrived! Write something dark!

It feels like some of the sentences are redundant.

Dear parents, teachers, and students:

Yes, communication is always there, everywhere, at different times and in different places with different people. However, it is undeniable that there are still many obstacles to communication between us and our classmates in daily learning, and according to our survey feedback, mutual shirking of responsibilities, bad mood, and too much calculation are still communication problems. And where is the source of all these obstacles?

Can we return to the roots, and use the power of the mind to resolve our deficiencies in skills and abilities? In order to achieve this goal, we have explored the mode and content of this symposium, trying to let everyone see the real obstacles in our communication through this symposium. Can we rely on a sustained effort to overcome these superficial obstacles?

Now, by the moderator of this symposium (who)!

Dear Parents, Teachers, Students, Good morning!